Say hello to my little friend
Comic Patton Oswalt once decribed South Florida as “a vestigial sac that America’s testosterone and anger drains into.” While perhaps that’s overstating it a tad, tempers do tend to flare during the long, hot summers of Miami. Hear it on the streets and highways, with horns blaring and expletives flying. See it when someone gets cut in line at a local grocery store. The shade being thrown is a show in itself. Had it not been for the aggression associated with the drug trade in the 1980s, South Florida would not be the booming metropolis it is today.
Those with pent-up frustrations can safely let them all out at Lock & Load – a unique gun range on the fringes of Wynwood’s vibrant arts community. Outside, its entrance is bordered by troughs of empty chrome shells like faux mulch in a spice garden. Inside, the lobby’s highly polished diamond-plate floors and walls are studded with fully automatic weapons, not to mention a repurposed army helicopter suspended from the ceiling, making the place feel like the vestibule of an FBI arms storage facility.
Info
Address 2545 North Miami Avenue, Miami, FL 33127, +1 305.424.8999, www.lockandloadmiami.com | Hours Mon–Fri noon–8pm, Sat 11am–8pm, Sun 11am–6pm| Tip Balance the intensity of target practice with a visit to Art by God (60 NE 27th St) – an emporium of fossils, minerals, rocks, and other natural treasures.
Before heading into the range, find which guns fit your mood. Visit the front desk to look at the menu of packages. Feeling stealthy? Fire away with the 007 package, featuring firearms like the HK UMP and Glock 18 submachine gun. Patriotic? Go for the Special Forces USA package and pepper your targets with shots from an FN Herstal SCAR. Let your inner Tony Montana loose with the Scarface package and fend off enemy cartels with your IMI Uzi. If themes aren’t your deal, go for the aptly named Automatic Gratification, featuring rounds from ten different guns.
Although many prefer to seek mental refuge at the beach or out on the town, for some, Lock & Load provides a much-needed catharsis. After firing your hostilities away, you might just find yourself more tolerant the next time someone cuts you off on I-95.
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