Leadership has a way of surprising us.
Why? Because leadership is often thrust upon us without warning and without our permission. It might sneak up on us slowly over time, or it might arrive suddenly, almost out of the blue. Regardless of how it happens, there comes a point when we find ourselves coordinating and motivating and managing people, and we usually aren’t as ready for it as we would like to be.
Even in those situations where we expected to be hired or promoted to a leadership role, or where we sought a leadership role intentionally, leadership can still surprise us. The actual tasks and day-to-day responsibilities of leadership are hard to predict and can feel surreal. Even after years of experience, we still wonder, at times, what in the world we are doing trying to lead other people.
Because of the surprising nature of leadership, I’ve often come across people who are doing the work of a leader (and doing it well), but who don’t consider themselves leaders. They have influence, they are guiding and directing people, and they are accomplishing goals with their team—but they avoid or reject the title of leader. Leadership can seem intimidating, even terrifying. And yet, even if you don’t have a job title with the word “leader” or “director” in it, there’s a good chance you are already leading in one or more areas. For example:
You get the idea. Leadership happens whether or not you are ready for it and whether or not it comes with a formal title. If you are doing your job well, sooner or later you are likely to be put in charge of other people. Those people have feelings, free will, and ideas of their own, of course, and your challenge is to inspire them to be a unified and productive team. That’s when you’re likely to say, to quote the title of this book, “Help! I work with people.”
Influence, People Skills, and Leadership
Regardless of how you ended up in your current leadership role, there is nothing quite like working with and leading other people. It has its own challenges and rewards, and it requires a unique skill set. When done right, it is beautiful: a group of individuals acting as one, joining forces to accomplish a shared vision. When done wrong, it can be incredibly painful: a group of individuals at odds and in conflict, trying to accomplish something but hurting each other and their goals in the process.
That is why leadership has always fascinated me. Good leaders can make all the difference for the teams they lead. And what makes leaders good is that they know how to influence and work with people, because people are what make up teams. You can’t separate leaders from people, and you can’t separate leadership from influence.
Leadership is influencing others to work together toward a common goal. Each part of that phrase is important. “Influencing” means that our effectiveness as leaders comes through our ability to motivate others. “Working together” means multiple people each do their part. “Common goal” means the vision is shared by all—the work is a collaboration, not forced labor.
Dr. John Maxwell, one of the most recognized names in leadership studies, says, “Leadership is influence—nothing more, nothing less.”1 I fully agree, and throughout this book, I use the terms “leadership” and “influence” interchangeably. You may not have the title of leader, and you may not even think of yourself as a leader, but if you have influence, you are a leader; conversely, a title without influence is nothing more than a sign on the door.
Leadership is influencing others to work together toward a common goal.
Influence, however, implies people. In the definition above, each of the key terms—influence, working together, and common goal—point to the same thing: people. We influence people, we get people to work together, and people have a common goal. Leadership, therefore, is much more relational than many of us realize. So while this is a book about leadership, it is also a book about people: understanding people, serving people, working with people, getting along with people, communicating with people.
Since we can’t lead without people, we can’t lead well without people skills. I’ve had the privilege of interviewing numerous well-known leaders in both the church and business world on my podcast, Leadership Lean In. Every leader I’ve interviewed has shared profound principles and wisdom based on their experiences. But what consistently stands out to me is something they rarely mention outright—their people skills. Whether they are naturally gifted or learned along the way, they have figured out that leadership starts and ends with people.
It’s worth noting two things here. First, leaders are also people. We aren’t another species. Our DNA doesn’t change just because we have a team, a title, or recognition. As leaders, we will always connect with others most significantly on a human level. That connection is mutual: we give and receive, we teach and learn, we lead and follow, we forgive mistakes and make mistakes. Healthy leaders are people first, then leaders. Remembering that helps us stay grounded.
Second, people matter. We don’t strive for influence so we can serve ourselves; rather, we strive for influence so we can serve others. Leadership is not about getting people to do what we want. That’s why I’m not going to give you ten keys for getting people to fall in line or fifteen principles to stay king of the mountain. Leadership that reduces followers to a nameless mass of people whose purpose is to serve the leader is bad leadership. Every member of a team is first an individual with God-given dreams, needs, and abilities. Leadership is a gift to be valued and stewarded with care because what we do affects people, and people matter.
How to Read This Book
To help you grow your influence, hone your people skills, and improve your leadership, this book is divided into three parts, each of which build on each other.
Part 1 focuses on you as a leader: how to know yourself, lead yourself, and grow yourself. If you hope to influence people, it goes without saying that your influence must be a positive one. That requires a willingness to become self-aware and intentional in all you do and to address your own weaknesses along the way.
Part 2 deals with people skills—everything from manners to reading a room to having a good conversation. This is, in many ways, the heart of the book. If influence is about people, and if you are good at working with people, leadership will often take care of itself. The more you invest in people, the more effective your leadership will be.
Part 3 addresses practical issues related to leading teams, whether that team is part of a business, nonprofit organization, church, or any other organization, large or small. The focus is intentionality—how to accomplish shared goals by applying what you know about yourself and your team in ways that are purposeful, wise, and visionary.
I firmly believe you are called to lead and that your leadership is meant to serve the greater good. Learning to lead well is a never-ending process, but if you approach the challenge with courage and a willingness to grow along the way, great influence—nd therefore great good—ill be the result.