Dear Friends and Family,
Many of you have inquired about Jaret. So I will dedicate this note to him. (I have been remiss in not including an update on him sooner, as he, like Jayna, is an important part of our team. There are so many puzzle pieces to keep on the board.)
Jaret (who we often call J) is now twenty-five years old.
As many of you know, Jaret is autistic, though fortunately he is very high functioning. His major disability is extreme shyness that makes it difficult for him in social interactions. When he talks, he rarely looks you in the eye. He also has weak fine motor strength that makes tasks like cutting his own finger- and toenails a personal challenge and the act of writing an adventure. (Thank goodness for computers, as his penmanship is as illegible as mine.)
Intellectually, he has great strengths in his areas of interest where he is almost an expert and creates his own world with each of the fields he enjoys. He performed well enough in high school and on the ACT test to be accepted at Westminster College in Salt Lake City, where he is living independently amid his junior year and carrying a 3.4 GPA.
As you could probably guess, much of his strength and success is a direct result of his mother’s unwavering love, support, and advocacy. Her kind, gentle manner has always made him feel safe and secure, empowering him to push his envelope and reach his full potential. For example, many individuals with autism don’t travel well because they need a strict routine to feel comfortable. Jaret, on the other hand, has grown up exploring various parts of the globe because it is part of his mother’s world.
In the past, Jaret has been averse to all issues surrounding death. He abhors Halloween and costumes, closes his eyes when we pass graveyards in the car, and doesn’t like to hear any of my medical stories the way Jayna does. So Jaret has been hit especially hard by Nancy’s sickness.
“Could Mom die, Dad?” he asked the first night after I explained Nancy’s disease.
A most difficult conversation followed. But like his sister, Jaret has risen to the occasion.
“I’ll be okay, Dad. You help Mom.” And without hesitation or complaint, Jaret regularly visits his mom in the hospital, a place that he previously avoided much like he does vegetables.
So Jaret is doing well. He is finishing this semester and, for the first time, without his mother’s constant vigilance and assistance. Many of you have kindly offered help. Right now, it appears Jaret doesn’t need it. In a single week, he has grown up years.
Summary: With his mother’s illness, Jaret has been forced to be more independent than ever before. He has been up to the challenge. He is his mother’s son.
All our love,
Winnie