The Art of Mingling

Contents

Copyright Notice

Acknowledgments

Preface to the New Edition

Introduction: Why Learn the Art of Mingling?

1. OVERCOMING MINGLEPHOBIA

A Word About World Wide Web-Headedness

How to Fake It Till You Make It

Four Survival Fantasies for the Truly Terrified

• The Naked Room

• The Invisible Man

• The Buddy System

• Celebrity Magic

Choosing Your First Clique

• Practice Your Mingle on a Wallflower

• Judging a Book by Its Cover

• Body Language Check

• The Safety of Numbers

2. OPEN SESAME: MAKING A SUCCESSFUL ENTRANCE 22

Get Ready, Get Set …

• To Shake or Not to Shake

• About Your Smile

• The Philosophy of Fibbing: Why Some Lies Are Essential

The Four Basic Entrance Maneuvers

• The Honest Approach

• The Fade-In

• The Flattery Entrée

• The Sophistication Test

Opening Lines for Every Mood

• Level One: Risk-Free

• Level Two: Playful

• Level Three: Daring

3. NOW WHAT? TOOLS AND RULES FOR CONTINUING THE CONVERSATION

Recovering from a Flubbed Opening

Career Talk: Yes or No?

Ten Tried-and-True Tricks of the Trade

• A Mnemonic for Those at a Loss for Words

• The Interview

• Playing a Game

• Room with a View

• Using Clichés

• About Eye Contact

• The Dot-Dot-Dot Plot

• The Echo Chamber

• The Funny Thing About Humor

• How to Handle the Joker in Every Deck

To Bemoan or Not to Bemoan

The Secret of Listening

• Understanding the Problem

• Hearing Aides

4. THE GREAT ESCAPE: BAILING OUT AND MOVING ON

• Boredom and Other Discomforts

• Saving Face

• The Case of the Vanishing Group

• Time’s Up!

The Etiquette of Escape

• Knowing Where You’re Headed

• The Five Laws of Survival

The Getaway: Twelve Exit Maneuvers

• The Buffet Bye-Bye and Other Handy Excuses

• Celling Out

• The Honest Approach in Reverse

• The Fade-Out

• The Changing of the Guard

• The Smooth Escape

• Shake and Break

• The Human Sacrifice

• The Personal Manager

• Escape by Mutual Consent

• The Counterfeit Search

• The Preemptive Strike: Dodge Ball

Emergency Escape Hatches

5. FANCY FOOTWORK: ADVANCED MINGLING TECHNIQUES

Mingling Styles for the Well-Schooled

• The Quick-Change Artist

• The Pole Vaulter

• The Playful Plagiarist

• Trivial Pursuits

• The Art of Piggybacking

• The Butterfly Flit

Gimmicks for the Confident Mingler

• A Case of Mistaken Identity

• The Interruption Eruption

• The Quotation Device

• Party Favors: The Helpless Guest Gambit

• Making the Most of Toasts

Sophisticated Body Business

• The Mysterious Mingle

• The Touchy-Feely Mingle

• Fumbling-In

Conversation Pieces: Using Props

• Jewelry and Accessories

• The Dumb Use of Smartphones

• The Hors d’Oeuvres Maneuver

• Working the Bar or Food Area

Playing Doubles: Team Mingling

• Preparty Strategy Sessions

• Conversational Procurement

• Intraparty Playdates

• Shepherding

• Reconnaissance and Rescue

• The Mating Call

6. THE TAILOR-MADE MINGLE: INSTRUCTIONS FOR SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES

Navigating Current Events

• The Zeitgeist Heist

• Pleading Guilty

• Proving Your Mettle

• High-Voltage Area! Talking Politics

Ahoy Polloi: Mingling in Public Places

• Mingling Outdoors or in a Crowd

• That’s My Queue: Lines in Line

• Elevator Mingling

The Business of Mingling for Business

• Name-Tag Tips

• Business Card Advice

Mingling for Love

• Nonparty Love Venues

• Romance Copilots

Hosting: How to Please Your Guests Every Time

• Host Phobia

• The Party Coach

• The Feng Shui of Hosting

7. HANDLING DIFFICULT SITUATIONS

Dealing with Faux Pas

• When You’re Dressed Wrong

• Introductions: A Recurring Nightmare

• The Anecdotal Antidote: Storytelling as a Healing Technique

• All-Purpose Faux Pas Recovery Lines

• The Faux Pas-Moi: The Art of Denial

• The Faux Pas-cifist

Negotiating Tough Rooms

• The Sardine Can

• The Thin Room

• Mingling with Drunks

• Mingling with the Truly Arrogant

• How to Crash a Party Without Breaking Anything