part0009

In this book, we’ll explore how sensitive people like you are affected by negativity, drama, and trauma. You’ll learn how your brain and hormonal-chemistry balance have been altered by your life’s events. You’ll also find out why you can’t continue pushing yourself to go faster and do more.

This is a book about the science of “sparkle.” You’ll read about scientific studies that show why our sparkle—our joy, inner peace, health, ability to focus, motivation, and happiness—dulls . . . and how to reignite it. To make the book more pleasant and readable, I’ve summarized the research. I could easily write about every cellular response to stress, but that could be stressful for you to wade through! So, this book is more narrative than clinical.

Because the literature shows that our short attention span is related to our drama-, stress-, and trauma-filled lifestyle, I’ve also avoided footnotes and numerical citations of studies. (Occasionally I’ve included references in parentheses to entries in the Bibliography.) My prayer is that you’ll read the entire book, because each page contains important information. So, I’ve worked to make this book an effortless and enjoyable read.

The research you’ll read about helps explain why your life is the way that it is. It’s a relief to recognize the reason behind toxic patterns. It’s wonderful to be aware of yourself and your inner processes. Suddenly, the world makes sense and you understand yourself.

You’ll see how traumas you’ve experienced or witnessed have changed your brain and body chemistry. I have not included any details about traumas that I or others have endured. Studies show that we can become traumatized by hearing about another person’s trauma. So I don’t want to add to yours by describing mine. That way, you can relax and turn the pages of the book, reassured that it’s safe and gentle.

I believe that you—and all of us—are born with an inner light. A glow. You’re still sparkly, but like a lightbulb covered in dust, you might not feel or appear radiant. If you don’t feel happy or excited about life right now, it means that your sparkle has been hidden.

Fortunately, there are answers and solutions, and the first step is to recognize your patterns. This is a book about how to discover those patterns—to help you feel happy and enthused about life.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), there’s a significant rise in the numbers of adults and children with increased stress levels. Adults report being stressed mainly about money, jobs, and the economy. The majority also report that they don’t have enough time or motivation for self-care to remedy their stress levels. In children, elevated stress levels are correlated with being overweight, perhaps because they are stress-eating.

Some of these patterns may be biologically driven. For example, if you’ve experienced any form of mistreatment—physical or emotional abuse, neglect, bullying, and so on—or other life trauma, then your brain-chemical and hormone patterns are likely affecting your health, energy levels, and personality. This is especially true if you experienced intense fear, helplessness, or horror during the trauma.

The post-traumatic changes in your brain and adrenals may have addicted you to drama and negativity. Your body and brain go beyond homeostasis to a new state called allostasis , which means a physical reorganization of your chemistry and wiring, leading to specific behaviors following a trauma.

What may surprise you while reading this book is that your experiences with negativity and drama can be highly addictive patterns, with a physiological basis. That’s right: your brain and body may be hooked on stressful experiences that dull your light. This isn’t to blame anyone who’s stuck in negativity, but rather is information to help you recognize and heal damaging patterns.

You’ll also learn why drama, stress, and pushing yourself beyond your limits is dangerously unhealthy physically, mentally, and emotionally.

If that’s not enough, stress and drama can cause weight issues. Our ancient instincts respond to stress by storing fat, because of unconscious fears that starvation may follow periods of drama. Additionally, our appetite for junk food increases. Under stress, we tend to choose foods that lead to water-weight gain and bloating.

In Part I, we’ll delve into the ways in which your body—including your health, weight, appetite, and comfort levels—is affected by stress. Some of this material is clinical, but it’s worth taking the time to at least skim through it. You’ll find answers as to the question of why you act the way you do in this part of the book. Solutions to stress and drama are presented in Parts II and III.