chapter four

If magic is happening all around and you aren’t tak ing notice, it may as well not even be present. Being mindful is a key piece of connecting to unicorn energy. Mindfulness practices can help you better recognize those moments, whether they’re the little things or the big things in life. In this chapter, we’ll also take a look at what it means to authentically believe in a way that allows you to recognize the unicorn, instead of seeing a horse in its place. And finally, we’ll look at how your environment is an important piece of what either helps or hinders you from seeing clearly the magic that’s available to you.

Are You Noticing?

There are many reasons why we might not notice or acknowledge our unicorns when they cross our path. The most obvious reason is distraction. We’re so caught up in the details of our busy lives that our unicorns are simply passed by and remain in the background. The irony is that unicorns are more likely to appear when our minds are otherwise occupied. This is sometimes their best chance to slip past the gates of judgment that normally guard against them. The grand idea you’ve been grasping at finally hits you out of the blue as you’re singing in the shower. The answer to a problem you’ve been struggling with bubbles to the surface while you’re taking a jog. When you’re caught by surprise by a unicorn, you’re able to catch sight of new realizations and insights that you might not otherwise have been receptive to. So how do we pay attention even when we aren’t paying attention?

Mindfulness, Awareness, and Focused Attention

The trick here is to work on training ourselves so that we more automatically focus our attention to catch meaningful moments whenever they arise. We can do this by practicing mindful attention through meditation. With time, mindfulness programming will be running in the background of your life, helping you to notice and be more awake to magic in whatever form, and at whatever moment, it manifests for you.

Mindfulness is the practice of bringing your attention to the present moment. Being in the moment means you’re just in it. You’re not judging it. If you’re writing, you’re not filtering or worrying about how things will come together in the end; you’re just letting whatever comes come. If you decide to practice mindful breathing, you’re focusing on the inhale, the exhale, the inhale, the exhale, and nothing more. If you’re doing the dishes, you’re feeling the warmth of the water, the solidness of the plate in your hand, and the sensation of rubbing a washcloth across the smooth surface.

In all of these examples, stray thoughts and external distractions will come in and out of your awareness. With mindfulness practice, you allow those stray occurrences to be released instead of latching onto them and running a hamster wheel around them. You see it, acknowledge it, and let it go. This can be a lot harder than it sounds. Time and practice eventually make it easier. And as with any other skill, with practice you’ll be more prepared to make use of this strengthened ability, even at unexpected times.

This doesn’t mean you need to try to be thinking constantly about potential “sightings” that are about to come. In fact, that would leave you trapped in anticipation and obsessing about the future. The goal instead is to achieve a state of mindful presence where you’re “in the now” in a way that allows you to catch unicorn moments, even when you haven’t been anticipating them.

In our previous example of taking a jog, as a mindfulness practice you might pay attention to the feel of your feet in your shoes and how they hit the pavement. You notice the cool morning air on your skin, the bird that swoops by, and the pace of your breathing. And when seemingly random thoughts pass through your mind, you notice those too, but you go back to focusing on your breath. This all might seem like an uneventful time out running, but if you notice that bird is a red cardinal, a bird that you rarely see and that you associate with your deceased mother, it becomes a unicorn moment. Maybe you second-guess whether this is a sign from her, but then you notice over the next few days that cardinals keep popping up in your life in other unexpected ways: in a card from a coworker, on the cover of a book a friend passes along to you, and on a flyer a store clerks gives you as you’re leaving the store. Because you’re mindful, you notice these instances and acknowledge them. Eventually you accept the message as a sign of reassurance and love.

In my own example, throughout the writing of this book I was always listening to music. A dozen or more times as I was writing a word or phrase, the lyrics of a song would match it exactly. It was uncanny. The first couple of times it happened, I had that unicorn-moment feeling of shock, although it was mixed with skepticism. Even though doubt was present, I still acknowledged the moment. Especially early on in the process, I was worried that I wasn’t a good enough writer. The synchronicities felt like a message of encouragement. Eventually, when it happened at so many key moments, I accepted it as a sign of support. Most recently, as I was writing the example of the cardinals appearing as a sign of reassurance, lyrics sang out declaring that birds come by to say that we’re not alone. Who is it that’s trying to cast aside my worries and let me know I’m on the right path? We can just say it’s the unicorns.

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Alicorn Meditation for Single-Pointed Focus

This is an exercise you can do for your mindfulness practice. Think of this as your unicorn-horn meditation for a concentrated and focused energy. You’ll be homing in on a single point. Get it?

First, you’ll want to pick something that you can focus on. What will your alicorn be? Two good options are your breath or a lit candle. Next, set a timer so you won’t be distracted by wondering how long you’ve been meditating or if you’re almost done. You can start with two minutes as a goal and try to work your way up to twenty minutes over the span of a month or two. Or you could jump right in with a longer time and see how you do. Just know that you probably will be not-so-great at this when you first start out, so don’t lose hope or give up. After all, you wouldn’t be able to play the violin or hit home runs without practice first. We are human and we have distractible and wandering minds that want to think, think, overthink, and think some more. Give it time; you will see improvement.

For both versions of this meditation, find a quiet and comfortable space. If you’ve decided to go with a candle, go ahead and light it safely. Settle in and focus on the flame. As you do, allow your breath to slow and your body to relax. Pay attention to the details of the flame: how the inner ring of color differs from the outer one, the way the flame dances and moves when it catches your breath, and even the warmth that you feel from it. While you’re staring at the flame, you aren’t contemplating how long it’s been burning or when it might go out; you’re simply observing the light.

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If you’ve decided to go with a focus on your breath, then place a hand on your stomach. Take a breath in and feel it expand all the way down so that your hand rises with the movement. We tend to take shallow breaths, so we’re starting out by intentionally taking deeper breaths. Hold the breath for a count of four, then exhale on the same count. Feel the movement of your hand as you inhale and exhale.

After you’ve done this for a while and are starting to feel more relaxed, switch your breathing a bit. Instead of inhaling and exhaling on the same count of four, switch your focus to just the exhale. After your next inhale, put your attention on fully exhaling all of the carbon dioxide in your lungs. Feel the way your navel seems to pull all the way back to your spine when you do this. Once you feel your lungs are completely empty, allow your body to take in fresh oxygen for however long feels most natural. Don’t force a certain count. Just feel into the pace your body sets for the inhale. You’ll probably notice that you breathe more easily and your breath moves all the way to the expansion of your stomach. Keep up this cycle with your focus on fully exhaling.

A note of caution: Breathwork can lead to dizziness, so make sure you’re not overdoing it and you’re in a safe space. If you start to feel lightheaded, ease off and allow yourself to come back to balance before continuing.

As you do either of these versions, when random thoughts sneak in about what went on during your day, what you still have to do, what you’re going to eat for dinner, or how you don’t have time for this, or you hear the neighbor’s dog, a honking horn, etc., just come back to the light or your breath. It doesn’t matter if it happens one time or fifty. Even if you find that you’ve wandered for most of the session, come back for whatever amount of time is left. And remember, your practice now will help to improve your practice the next time.

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Actively Catching the Unicorn

Mindful encouragement and mindful acknowledgment are two keys to help you catch sight of unicorns.

Mindful Encouragement

There are different things you can do to encourage your mindful attention, which translates to noticing your unicorn moments when they appear. You could put notes reminding you to focus where you’ll see them, especially in places where you tend to get overly distracted. For example, the first thing I see when I walk into my work space is a letter board that says “Just breathe” on it. It reminds me of the breathwork practice and not to forget myself in the spinning of oh-so-many plates as I go about my day. You could also set a scheduled time to practice your Alicorn Meditation.

Mindful Acknowledgment

One of the most important pieces to noticing in a mindful way is to capture your unicorn moments in an active way. Active acknowledgment has a domino effect. The energy knows it’s being received, so it continues to connect with you in the future. Your mind also realizes this is something worth paying attention to and sets a radar to watch for similar instances in the future.

Here are some things you can do to actively acknowledge your unicorn moments:

Do whatever works for you to confirm in your mind that something happened that you want to experience more of. Becoming mindful as a practice in your daily life will help you receive what you’ve been asking for. I carry notecards with me all the time, and sometimes I record notes in my phone or send emails to myself. It seems like unicorn moments never come at a convenient time. Like a dream, they soon fade and are forgotten, so recording them quickly can be a vital step in your practice.

The Little Things vs. the Big Things

So far we’ve focused on how distraction and a lack of focus can cause us to miss the magic in our lives. Another reason we might miss it is because we’re only anticipating larger-than-life events and not paying attention to the smaller details. Understanding that there are different levels of unicorn encounters will help you recognize them, even when they are “just” little things.

What you consider to be a little or a big encounter is entirely objective, but both versions are important. The rarity of the big things, like catching sight of the northern lights or receiving a visitation dream, is easier to recognize because these events can be so shocking. A big encounter might be a sign of hope or inspiration you’ve been waiting for, even when you didn’t consciously realize it. It causes you to do a double take and stop in your tracks. You might have goosebumps, feel a sense of amazement, and initially be confused, trying to process what you’ve just encountered or seen. If we miss these moments, it’s usually because we choose not to believe in them. We clearly notice that they’ve occurred, but we disregard them anyway.

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I experienced a big moment like this a few months after another surgery. I’d been healing but found my recovery to be a slow and serious business. While I was exuberant early on, in a kind of “post-exam” euphoria, the heavy side of it all took a firm hold as the weeks rolled by. Limitation, lack of exercise, and anxiety over lingering pain had all been taxing. Depression had become my unwelcome companion, and I was having trouble raising my head above it all. It was as though I’d been thrown into a midlife crisis of sorts. I wanted to throw out my life: my home, my job, my hobbies, my relationships. The desire to toss my life in the garbage and recreate myself was disorienting, especially during a time when I was physically bound. It felt like I was being asked to change while standing still.

I still looked for hope and happiness though. I was watching holiday movies on repeat in the middle of summer, being silly and dancing with my dog when the moment struck, and trying to find the lighter side of things. At one point I thought back to a clover plant that I’d bought earlier in the year when I decided to move forward with the surgery. Clover is a plant for luck, but within a month I’d killed it. I’d planned to put something else in the pot and moved it outdoors, but soon the clover reappeared without assistance and stronger than ever—the spirit of nature working magic behind the scenes. “Could that be me?” I wondered in my post-op phase. “Am I just in my withered moment?”

Then one morning in the flurry of another running-late morning, I let out a startled scream. Amid the neglected, weed-spotted landscaping (courtesy of all the physical limitations) was a single delicate pink rose. Just like I’d done with the clover, I’d sworn that rose bush was dead. I’d completely given up on her, but silently she’d worked her spell among the weeds. I didn’t sense it dawning, yet suddenly it was there … this beautiful thing that took me completely by surprise. Without help from anyone, she bloomed anyway, a unicorn right outside my window.

I hadn’t had any other roses bloom that year, so that moment was definitely one that surprised and sent a thrill through me. While a flower is a small thing, the moment felt very significant. Someone else might have seen it as a little thing or even not meaningful at all, but for me it was a big moment. It provided the hope I desperately needed and it stuck with me for a very long time.

But what about the little things? These are the smaller moments of gratitude that you might collect throughout your days. A beautiful, sunny spring day after a long winter, hearing from your best friend when you’re feeling down, or someone holding the door for you when your arms are full of groceries might all carry a significant uplifting energy for you. While these may be little everyday things, they happen more frequently than the “big” moments and can add up to provide exponential benefits, so keep an eye out to acknowledge those moments too.

When thinking about little things versus big things, another thing to consider is that something that might have been a rare occurrence could eventually become something you bring into your everyday life. An example of this is a euphoric experience I had at a live concert and how I brought that energy into my daily life by joining a choir, playing piano, and listening to newfound and tried-and-true music in my creative space. In this way, you can eventually embody that energy. Those once rare inspirations will be less shocking when you come across them because they’re no longer a rare occurrence in your life. Even though magical moments will continue to inspire and energize you, they change in such a way that you may not recognize them as a big thing. Instead, these encounters become a little lapdog unicorn, something you find encouragement and comfort in every day. And congratulations when you achieve this, because embodying the unicorn spirit is our goal!

The Need to Believe

Belief is a vital ingredient in being awake to the magic in our lives. Here we’ll look at how we can make sure we’re seeing things for what they truly are. Through a review of beliefs we hold around our experience, ourselves, and others, we can help ensure we don’t miss the magic.

Believe in Your Experience

Maybe the magic is coming to you as synchronicity, as imagery in meditation, or as a message from your spirit guide in a dream. It can be really easy to dismiss these experiences, saying to yourself that you’re being ridiculous. No matter how uplifting the experience may have been, logic tries to take over. This is especially the case because logic is what society currently values most. But if we disregard our authentic energetic experiences because it’s not considered logical, then we’re left always seeing the horse and never the unicorn. If we allow ourselves to believe, we add another magical layer to life that can be just as valuable.

I’m not saying that we need to throw logic out the window and believe everything without question. In fact, I’m a constant doubter. I often demand that my experiences prove themselves to me. For example, I’ve studied and practiced energy therapies for years and have both received and given sessions. (You’ll get the chance to try energy work in the next chapter.) When I go through long stretches of not giving or receiving these sessions, my mind begins to doubt their reality. “That can’t be real,” I start to think. But the next time I’m part of the experience, I’m always left fully convinced of its merits once again. This is because I’m not just thinking about it in my mind, and I’m not just reading or hearing about it from someone else. I’m right there in it, feeling the energy, deep relaxation, and emotional or physical shifts that come about from it.

I could still cast that off as a false experience, telling myself I’m making it all up in my head. In the past there were times when I did just that. But I’ve returned to energy work enough times now that it’s consistently proven itself to me. Even though I don’t fully understand how it all works, I believe.

Honor your experience. Don’t blindly dismiss it. Instead, sit with it and let it reveal its truth to you. If you’re left unsure, ask for and seek out additional experiences that might help confirm it further.

Believe in Yourself

For my birthday one year, my siblings gave me a poster that I absolutely love. On it is an image of a unicorn lying on its back on a couch. Its legs are curled almost into the fetal position and its eyes are bugging out as a therapist sits looking on, saying nonchalantly, “You need to believe in yourself.” This humorous and quirky inspiration shares some very grounded truth.

We all carry so much wisdom within us. It’s in our physical body all the way down to the coding in our DNA and includes ancestral knowledge, wisdom that has been passed down to us from previous generations. It’s also in our energy body as wisdom we ourselves have carried along with us into this life. Consider this a parallel to our physical genetic memory, but instead of coming from our ancestors, it’s a code or stamp from the universe. Basically, in various ways we know things even when we might not understand why or how we know them. Part of being awake to the magic is learning to trust and believe in this internal wisdom.

For example, when I was all of six years old, my family and I were living in the basement of a new house we were building. Since our previous house had already sold, we’d packed up and made the cement world our little home for a time. While we had all the normal furnishings, sometimes it still felt scary to be in that space. Unfinished basements just have that vibe.

One day I was in the basement with a friend who was feeling scared, and I remember sharing a technique with her that I had used to help soothe myself. I was never taught this exercise. It was just something I started doing on my own at night when I got scared in bed.

“Imagine there’s a bubble around you,” I said to my friend. “It will protect you. Nothing bad can get in. Just pretend it’s all full of light and you’ll be so safe.”

I’d completely forgotten that this was something I used to do until I started taking energy healing classes as an adult. When we were learning about the subtle energy body and protecting the aura, it all came flashing back to me. I couldn’t believe the intuition I had about subtle energy as a kid. What else did I know then that I now have simply forgotten or tend to dismiss as an adult?

Once I made this realization, I started trusting more of the intuitive information I felt and received during energy healing sessions, intuitive readings, and meditation and throughout my days in general.

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Learning to Trust Your Inner Wisdom

It’s worthwhile to pay attention to whether or not you trust your own intuition. Trusting your inner wisdom means you listen to and honor your inner voice, whether it’s your inner child or higher wise self. You allow yourself to follow your wants and desires as guides to finding your glitter. If you aren’t quite sure whether this is something you’re doing, try this exercise to help you connect with your inner wisdom.

As you’ve done before, find a quiet space and settle into a comfortable position. Take some calming breaths. When you feel ready, imagine that you’re in a favorite meditation space. Maybe this is a warm beach where you can feel the sun on your skin and listen to the waves moving in and out on the sand. For me, it’s a clearing in the middle of the woods with a trickling stream and a single large oak tree in the middle of the field. I walk from the edge of the woods to cross the stream and sit under the tree in its shade. For a while I’ll listen to the water running over rocks, the wind moving through tall grass, and the birds that swoop through the branches overhead and up to the blue sky.

Find your calm space and let yourself experience it for a while. After a bit, notice a figure walking toward you. There’s a welcoming smile on their face. You notice that something is familiar about them, but it’s not clear what. Even though you can’t quite place them, you’re excited that they’re there and you give them a hug. You sit together in your calming space, and they pull a small container out of their pocket. Maybe it’s a wooden box, a locket, or an envelope. It shimmers as they hand it to you, and you take it in your hands. They ask you to open it and tell you it contains your inner wisdom. Take time to savor the message that’s revealed. Make a mental note of the sights, sounds, feelings, and other sensory messages that come to you.

After you receive your inner wisdom, you close the container and hand it back to your companion. They take it back, and it’s then that you realize this figure looks exactly like you. They are your inner guide. Before the two of you part, they remind you that you can call on them any time.

When your meditation is complete, slowly come back to your physical space. Write down what you experienced and the inner wisdom that came to you. Even if you don’t understand it, it might be something that will become clearer in the future. As with the previous mindfulness practice, the more we call on and listen to our inner wisdom, the more it will make itself known. As with any relationship, the more we engage with our inner wisdom, the easier it will be to trust it.

Believe in Others

In chapter 2, we talked about our unicorn people. Think back to who these individuals are for you. Find those you’re inspired by, not to worship or idolize them but to ignite kinetic energy within yourself. Belief here is about being motivated by your inspirations. You believe this person is amazing! What about them is so incredible? How can you embody that kind of sparkle?

Helping others rise to their potential and achieve their dreams is another form of believing in others. Look outside your own goals and think about how you can support others in the ways that you also wish to be (or have been) supported. Maybe this is by helping to tutor someone so they can achieve their academic goals, or perhaps you will sponsor or make a donation to someone’s Kickstarter or entrepreneurial project. It could be as simple as putting up a kid’s drawing on your refrigerator. In these ways, we keep each other moving by showing that we believe in each other’s magical potential.

Clearing the Way to See

Magic exists right in your midst, yet it may be hidden under layers of mediocrity. Clearing clutter can be a catalyst for being able to clearly see yourself, your goals, and where you find joy. This practice can be a beacon that shines a light on what it is that you really want to be paying attention to.

Things like social clutter, creating relationship boundaries, and mental decluttering can be very challenging. The need for mental decluttering is more prominent now than ever before. With the constant barrage of technology, news, and work that we have to deal with, our stress and anxiety levels are at an all-time high.

Taking breaks from social media, technology, work, and life tasks can help you reset and allow your mind to rest. Having a regular stress-relief practice of some sort can also be very helpful. This could be a meditation practice, yoga, getting out on the river in your kayak, taking a walk with your dog, writing in your journal, or talking with your therapist. Whatever it is, this activity allows your mind to take a break from being “on” so that you can relax and let go. When we ensure that we’re surrounded by healthy relationships and support our minds to be more at ease, we’re more able to take notice of the positives in our lives.

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While establishing relationship boundaries and mental decluttering are also important, we’ll mainly be looking at clearing clutter in our living space, because our physical space is usually a reflection of the other two. By attending to our environmental clutter, the confusion and disorder in other areas of our lives tends to magically follow suit. And if not, it at least becomes clearer what steps need to be taken to address them as well.

Decluttering Your Environment

For a few years I had a recurring dream that I simply couldn’t figure out. I can now see that this dream was yet another type of unicorn dream for me, leading me to what I most desired and what would bring me authentic joy. In this particular dream I would always stumble upon a huge part of my home. The space was always something that I’d forgotten about or never even knew was there. I was always left wondering how I could have possibly forgotten it existed. There were large domed chambers made of marble and endless rooms filled with colorful fabrics, furniture, and art.

There’s a place known as the “House on the Rock” in Spring Green, Wisconsin, that’s reminiscent of the space I found myself in. The building is a fantastical and somewhat ridiculous place of unending rooms, architectural feats, and an enormous collection of knickknacks and random odd items. It includes a carousel room with angels hovering hauntingly above, and an infinity room that extends in a free float two hundred feet past the edge of a cliff. It is eccentric, peculiar, a little bit terrifying, and most definitely imaginative.

Sometimes in this recurring dream I was amazed to realize that this space was all mine. How could the previous owners have left it? How was I so lucky to own it? How was I ever going to get it in order? My mind would quickly jump from excitement to mortification that I hadn’t remembered the space was available to me and complete overwhelm over not knowing what to do with it. The incredible potential of the space was so overwhelming that I would freeze before I could even get started.

In other versions of this dream, I would go into enormous and overwhelming antique stores that were stocked so full I could barely move. In the antique-store version of this dream, I was always extremely excited, even though I was overwhelmed. I knew that if I focused and was attentive to each individual item, I could discover all the pieces that were treasures. My special things were waiting to be found amid all the clutter.

Looking back now, the meaning of these dreams is incredibly obvious, but for a long time I just didn’t get it. The unicorns didn’t give up. The dreams kept coming until finally one day it clicked for me. It wasn’t until I started decluttering my house that I realized the dreams were about my creative studio.

I’d lived in my home for five years, and I never felt like that area had come together in a way that made me want to spend time in it. I knew there was potential for it to be a beautiful, comfortable, and inspiring place; I just wasn’t able to get it to that point. I also felt unfocused about what it was that I wanted to do creatively. I kept dabbling, buying and saving ingredients that didn’t end up getting used and just added to the mess. There were totes crammed with fabric and toolboxes filled with drawing utensils, embroidery thread, needles, glass beads, and other jewelry-making items. A broken sewing machine sat unused. A button-making kit, purses, markers, paints, and more took up space. Aside from that, I had endless ideas of things I wanted to write and make. Sometimes I would try to follow through, but things always fell short and were eventually abandoned. Most often I stopped before I even began.

My surroundings matched the unfocused nature of my creative endeavors, and I was finally ready to clear things out on both levels. Down went the gallery wall of pictures and other odd items I’d mixed and matched. In its place I hung a single painting that I’d done years before. Immediately things felt better. It was less busy, calmer, and there was already a better sense of focused intention.

The next task was to acquire something I’d wanted for years: a dresser. I’d held myself back from this because I already had a functional table, but it didn’t fit my preferred shabby chic style. Looking at it left me uninspired and feeling like I was in a garage. I’d always told myself it served a purpose and so was good enough, but in fact it was not serving the kind of function I needed. With so many odds and ends, I needed drawers. It was time to let the table go.

I was able to sell the table and use the money to purchase an old dresser in my favorite vintage style. After some paint and cleanup, it was perfect. I ditched all the toolboxes for drawer space. This opened up cupboard space where I could put the fabric I’d previously jammed into all the totes that had been taking up lots of room. These totes held random pieces of cloth and fabric that I’d been collecting for almost twenty years just in case. I thinned it all out, and by letting go of a plethora of unneeded and unused items, I was able to display my kept fabrics so that they became a stored resource while also being decorative display on the shelves. This added immensely to the positive feel of the space. Seeing things in this way had me wanting to break out my paintbrushes and get creating!

Decluttering can be a pain in the ass, but it can also be extremely liberating. Now, instead of diving into bins and hoping I come out with something I can use, I know I can use every piece of fabric I’ve kept. As a bonus, I’m able to find exactly what I need when I need it. And this is just one little example. As I cleared things out, one thing after another made sense. “Why do I have this?” I would ask myself. “That’s not the kind of art I want to make. I’ll never use this thing.” As I let go, I better understood the purpose for the items that I desired to keep, and my creative inspirations grew.

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Decluttering Your Environment

Now it’s your turn. Decluttering your space might sound completely overwhelming. We gradually take on so much stuff and are good at cramming a lot of things into our spaces. The best strategy I’ve found is to create a priority list and make a schedule. It might look something like this:

This is a list that I started a couple of years ago. I was extremely motivated, but the project was put on hold for a time due to health issues. Eventually I got back to it. Even though I fell off schedule, having the list helped me map out my space and prioritize the smaller pieces of the overall goal. Because of this, when I stopped for a while, I knew I wasn’t giving up on it. I still felt inspired to come back to it whenever I could. Looking at this list made what previously felt insurmountable feel attainable instead.

Starting with the bedroom and bathroom is the easiest because we tend to jam our closets with things we don’t really need or want. Diving in here can set a good pace and get you into a rhythm of letting go of things. I also aligned the list to significant dates. I knew I would already be going through holiday totes in December and the filing cabinet for taxes in April, so that’s when I scheduled those areas to be decluttered. I knew I would have more patience for things like computer files, CD binders, and photos when I was hunkered down for the winter. Those nitty-gritty items are usually better to sort toward the end of the process since you’ll probably be finding stray CDs, flash drives, photos, and papers for filing as you go through all the other areas of your living space.

Once you have the larger pieces of your schedule mapped out, you can break down each section even further if you wish. For example, for the kitchen you might set a goal to finish going through a certain amount of cupboard space each day or week, your refrigerator on a specific day, and so on. As you dive into things, try not to think of the larger goal or you might get overwhelmed. Instead, remember your mindfulness practice and just take it one room and one drawer at a time.

Throughout the process of decluttering, sort your unwanted items into the following groups:

Try to get your unwanted things in the hands of people who will really make use of them. Books are meant to be read. Tools are meant to be used. Furniture should be functional. Clothes should be worn, not hidden away in a dark closet. I had a sewing machine I never used because I could never get the tension to work properly, but I held onto it for years because I wanted a sewing machine. But it wasn’t any good to me if I couldn’t get it to work properly. I didn’t want to throw it away, but I also didn’t want to donate it and cause the same issue for someone else. Finally, I listed it for free online and included a note about the tension problem. Someone picked it up and didn’t care at all about the issue. Now it’s serving its purpose and was saved from going in the garbage, and I created space for me to get a machine that I love and am actually able to make use of.

As decluttering gurus like Tisha Morris and Marie Kondo say, your things should reflect who you are now, not who you used to be. Of course, if a part of you still carries a great love for something you liked in the past, then maybe that’s still who you are now and it’s okay to hold onto it.

I still have a couple of Rainbow Brite videotapes that I keep in my creative studio. I can’t watch the tapes anymore since I don’t have a working Beta player, but the art on the cases makes me really happy. When I open a case and hold the tape, I’m transported to the home of my early childhood and cozy time with my big sister. It warms my heart and so is still a meaningful item for me to hold onto.

If something is a reminder of the things you used to love and still love in the present time, by all means hold onto it. I always keep one tote of keepsakes. I go through it once a year to be reminded of good memories, and sometimes I find that I finally feel ready to get rid of certain items.

Decluttering is a learned skill. It’s one I’ve gotten really good at because clutter totally stresses me out, but it’s taken me a long time to learn how to do it. If you still have a hard time letting go of things, check the recommended resources at the end of this book for more inspiration and guidance.

Making room for new energy is the real fun and reward of the decluttering process. By letting go of what’s been blocking you, you’ll be able to clearly see what it is that you actually want. It’s almost magical. The cherry on top for me in the earlier example was something I’d been really desiring but hadn’t been able to figure out before. When I bought my house and before I was even in it, I swore I would have a chandelier somewhere. I just didn’t know where. More than five years later, I remained chandelier-less, but while I was setting up my creative studio, inspiration hit me. This was where it needed to be! For some reason I couldn’t see that before. Yet now that I was moving energy all around, it was crystal clear. I could finally understand the space, and this was where I wanted to glitter and shine.

I purchased a chandelier soon after, and Luke surprised me and hung it up while I was out one evening. When I walked in, I shouted in surprise. I was totally giddy when I saw it. It was so freakin’ perfect. Shiny! Sparkly! It made the room glow. Even though it was the middle of summer, for the rest of the night I had “Silver and Gold” from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer stuck in my head. I repeatedly went back to the space just to stare at the bejeweled light. Not long after that, I settled into the space and started writing this book.

When we let go, we create space to draw in what we most want to create in our lives.

You’ve started clearing your space and are learning to believe, and it’s all adding to your ability to attune to the magic all around you. You’re well on your way now! Let’s take it to the next level and get into the finer details of where exactly your personal vibrance lives.

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