Mind Your Body

I was a skinny kid. Looking back, I realize now that I was a typical child as far as size and shape went, but for many years I carried around negative messages and beliefs formed in childhood. So even though I had parents who loved me and a small group of friends, was an average student, played sports, and was fair at most of them, inside I was insecure. I felt different.

My leanness was noticeable enough that friends and family often called me Skinny or Twig. My father dubbed me Bones. I despised all those nicknames. (FYI: No guy, young or old, likes to be referred to as “skinny” or even “slim.” That’s akin to calling an overweight woman “full-figured” or “plus-sized.” No matter how good your intentions, what she hears is “fat.” Well, we guys translate, too. So please, call us “strong,” “cut,” or even “lean,” but never “skinny” or “slim.”)

Later on, I came to understand that no one was out to hurt me. People are largely unaware of the lasting impact words can have on someone’s self-image. I’m sure that if the people in my life realized I would carry those nicknames well into adulthood, they never would have used them.

Like most kids, I was mortified at the thought of being different, so I developed my own version of “shapewear.” I would wear sweatpants and heavy shirts under my regular clothes to add bulk and padding to hide my “defects.” Sometimes I even had to put on two layers under my jeans to get the desired appearance. I can still remember sweat pouring down my back, stomach, and legs on those hot, humid Texas days—all in the name of being “normal.”

My Awakening

At seventeen, something happened that would change the course of my self-perception forever: I was approached by a local modeling agency and started doing some local fashion shoots. This was my first clue that my lean physique might actually be an asset. My self-perception began to change. “Maybe, just maybe,” I thought, “I am not Bones.”

While my experience with modeling helped me break free of my old image and those childhood messages, I was surprised to learn that many models had distorted images of themselves. Some perceived themselves as fat or ugly, or having some other imperfection. These were models working for clients like Versace and Armani specifically because they were perceived as perfect. I remember one stunningly beautiful woman saying, “God, I hate my body. I’m in the worst shape ever! Just look at this cellulite!” She would go to the gym and work out at eleven at night after a full day of intense photo shoots. I watched other models pursue rigid food-restricting regimens or insanely intense workouts.

Many people, not just models and celebrities, suffer from insecurity, anxiety, and sometimes erratic and extreme mood swings that keep them from being whole and happy. These people believe they deserve to be perceived as beautiful—or to lose weight, get fit, earn money—only if they practice almost torture-grade fitness and weight loss strategies, find a magic pill, or employ some other drastic measure. More often, people just don’t believe they deserve to lose weight. Instead, they believe that they are overweight because they deserve it at some level. The key here is that what you perceive is what will manifest. You might be beautiful outside but miserable inside, or you may truly struggle with excess weight; either way, what you ultimately believe about yourself will become your truth. And belief lives only in your thoughts. That’s why the right frame of mind, attitudes, beliefs, and internal thinking strategies are key to achieving a truly successful, balanced, and emotionally secure life.

Learning That Mindset Matters

When I first started training others, I would often scratch my head, baffled that when I gave two similar clients nearly identical programs, the results could be extremely different. I remember two clients, let’s call them Sally and Jane, who each wanted to lose roughly twenty-five pounds, establish a regular fitness routine, and begin healthier eating habits. From the start, I noted that Sally was positive about starting a new path toward improved health, but Jane was pessimistic from the get-go: “I’ve lost and gained weight so many times, but [sigh] I’m willing to give this another try.”

Both women reached their goals in a reasonable amount of time, but while Sally found happiness and fulfillment in her achievement, Jane continually expressed dissatisfaction, barely noticing her accomplishments and complaining increasingly that she hadn’t lost enough weight. Jane began to make excuses and miss appointments, even though she was paying for them. Not surprisingly, her weight began to creep back up. “Here we go again,” she told me. “Nothing ever works for me.” Jane’s mind was already made up, and what she was really telling me was that she believed she deserved to fail—and so she did. When people don’t truly and deeply believe they deserve something, they don’t make positive choices or take actions needed to reach their goals. By contrast, Sally sustained her weight loss, felt empowered by her success, and continued to train regularly and improve on her fitness goals. Sally came to me already believing that she deserved better health and weight loss, so she was willing to take the steps to make her dream a reality.

Based on the experiences of Sally and Jane, as well as countless other clients, I began to formulate strategies to help my clients look at their existing beliefs and chip away at negative and self-defeating messages, concentrating on self-belief and self-worth. I saw client after client reap benefits that fell far outside the health and fitness perks: happiness levels soared, relationships grew, and even financial and career paths flourished. It was a ripple effect that happened when the brain was “washed” clean.

As my client base continued to grow, I started training celebrities, elite athletes, Broadway actors, and famous musicians. I’ve been deeply blessed to be able to work with people from all walks of life. I’ve sought feedback from my clients about the strategies I teach, so I can say with resounding confidence that no matter who you are, how much money you have, or what resources are at your fingertips, the key to true success is learning to transform mental belief systems to empower you to break out of your comfort zone and succeed.

Doesn’t work: Meals + Moves

Works: Mindset + Meals + Moves

Jane Age: Forties Weight: 160 Goal: Lose 22 pounds	Sally Age: Forties Weight: 165 Goal: Lose 25 pounds
*Regimen*
Do weekly no-equipment total-body workouts; walk whenever possible	Do weekly no-equipment total-body workouts; walk whenever possible
*Attitude*
• Jane was pessimistic from the get-go, saying, “I’ve lost and gained weight so many times, but [sigh] I’m willing to give this another try.” • Jane wasn’t expecting this to work, and she made that a self-fulfilling prophecy.	• Sally came in smiling and excited about starting a new path toward improved health. • Sally had a success story in mind and knew why this effort would help her in life.
Results
Lost 4 pounds; regained all of it	Maintained a 25-pound weight loss

I train Dr. Oz, his wife, Lisa, and his daughter, Daphne. While some clients need more help than others in changing their attitudes, the Oz family came to me already equipped with an abundance of positivity. They have a way of being completely in the moment and doing the work in front of them. These are people who know they deserve happiness, so it manifests with abundance—and this gift is also available to you!

By the time you complete this book, you will be your own trainer, coach, and mentor. I’ve watched as countless women and men came to their first appointment feeling doubtful and dissatisfied. Over time, by practicing mindset, moves, and meals, they become inspired, empowered, and enthused. They achieve their dreams and become more and more balanced, whole, and complete. All that and more is in store for you, too!

Why This Book Now?

You may have sincerely tried to follow the advice given to you by your doctor, other health professionals, diet groups, books, personal trainers, even your friends and family. I continue to see dreams of slimming down go up in smoke for good people who have spent years, often decades, of their lives sincerely investing in one weight loss strategy after another. The problem is that the existing solutions bypass the actual cause of excess weight, the one area that doesn’t get proper nourishment or the right sort of stimulating exercises: the brain. You fail because the control center of your being is ignored, misused, or left out of the weight loss equation.

My clients often first come to me feeling frustrated, cynical, and defeated but willing to hear what regimen I have in mind for them. Maybe you expect, as they often do, that I’ll tell you how many squats to do or how many slices of bread to eat each day. While that’s part of what I do, it’s not what I have in mind at all. What I have on my mind is the mind—or, more accurately, your mind.

A Program of Balance

Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony.

—THOMAS MERTON

I know that the starting point, not just for weight loss but for transforming any area of your life and living out your wildest dreams, is right between your ears. And if you are an I-need-to-see-it-to-believe-it type of person, then you’ll be happy to know that astonishing advances in brain research have produced mountains of scientific evidence to validate this point of view (I’ll refer to this evidence throughout this book). I say that your brain is a starting point because without incorporating the physical body, you won’t get much done. The human body is biologically designed to constantly seek a state of equilibrium. You are meant to be a balanced being—in your muscles, your outlook, and all the other categories that make up a happy life. Imbalances happen all the time, and they occur in the mental, physical, and nutritional realms. A pessimistic attitude, a bad back, or a high-sugar diet are examples I see all the time.

With the brain-imaging techniques now available, we can literally see how the brain affects the body in a myriad of ways, and vice versa. Your entire being is made of feedback loops with the body sending signals to the brain, the brain responding, the brain sending signals to the body, and the body responding. For example:

• What you eat sends signals and triggers to your brain, your muscles, and your fat stores, and they respond by telling you to eat more or less, to store or burn fat, and more.

• Your brain sends out signals in the form of chemical messengers, based on the nutrients you consume. For example, if you eat sugar, your brain sends out insulin that tells your body to store fat and crave even more sugar.

• When you move your body, it sends signals to your brain requesting more energy, and your brain responds by releasing feel-good endorphins and neurotransmitters. When you burn calories through exercise, your brain also releases chemicals that tell you to eat to replace the calories you just burned.

What you eat, how you move, and what you think signals channels of information from your brain to your body, and from your body to your brain.

Your brain is the control center of your being. It is responsible for triggering and releasing chemical messengers that largely dictate your behavior and your beliefs. Simply put, if your brain is out of balance, your body will be out of balance, and the opposite is also true. Fortunately, when you start the Mind Your Body way of life, you will learn that as soon as you correct one imbalance—a negative mindset (a mental imbalance), for example—you will begin to see a positive ripple effect. When negative people begin to practice affirmations, they start to lose weight because they are no longer partaking in emotionally triggered eating (a nutritional imbalance), suddenly they aren’t avoiding exercise (a physical imbalance), and so on. And the benefits just continue to multiply: it becomes easier to sleep restfully, to be more productive at work, and even to attract romance. What this means is that any step you take in opening the door to positivity will pay you back with abundance.

Mind Your Body ties it all together by dynamically incorporating how you think, the way you move, and how you nourish your body to make lasting changes that will help you shed weight, get fit, and improve your entire life. Independent studies also show that incorporating a mind-and-body routine over the course of one to three months can quadruple weight loss, improve effective exercise by 85 percent, and boost happiness and energy more than 40 percent, compared to those who follow the typical weight loss or fitness plans on the market today.

My Final Words

I hope to awaken the enlightened journey that lives deep inside you. We are all unique, but we are the same when it comes to accessing these positive results. You have the tools; I just need your willingness to show up. I’m going to teach you how to get in touch with every muscle in your body and show you how to achieve optimum levels of mental, physical, and nutritional balance using a mindset that can’t fail. You’re going to learn how to be consistently surrounded by happiness, clarity, intense focus, love, and serenity that will put you in charge of your mind. I’m going to teach you everything you need to achieve happiness in every area of your life.

My deep certainty in the power of the mind to change your body and your life came first from my own experiences, then from observations of the world around me, and finally from working closely with clients. The more I help people balance out with positive mindful practices, effective and efficient exercise plans, and mindful eating guidelines, the more I see my clients succeed in all areas of their lives. Now I want to help you flourish. Take the test on the next page to see how close you are right now to being who you want to be.

Are You Who You Want to Be?

What you think about yourself and how you describe yourself affects both your body and your mind. Take this quick test to assess your current state.

From the list below, circle the five words that you feel best describe you. Don’t overthink this, just choose what speaks to you first.

Now go back through the list and put a checkmark next to the five words (they can be the same as the ones you circled or different) that describe the person you ideally want to be.

Scoring. Tally up how many words you chose both times. If none, then your score is 0; if all, then your score is 5. Interpreting your number. 0: You are not the person you want to be. The good news is that Mind Your Body will show you how to reach the ideal you. 2–3: You are on your way to becoming the you of your dreams, but you have work to do. This book will show you how. 4–5: You have the right mindset and are well on your way. You’re about to learn even more about perfecting your mindset.

PREFACE