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The man without spectacles

It is mid-winter and bitterly cold when, on that day in 2011, I first drive into the parking area of the notorious Pretoria Central Prison, the prison known today as Kgosi Mampuru II Correctional Centre. On just the previous weekend, political scientist Piet Croucamp had told a group of mutual friends at the Full Stop Café in Johannesburg of his close bond with Eugene de Kock. He had spoken of his own visits to the prison, of Eugene’s razor-sharp intelligence, of thinking it unjust that Eugene was the only person still sitting in jail for doing the apartheid government’s dirty work.

To be honest, like most of the people at that crowded table, I hadn’t thought about Eugene de Kock for years. To me, he was the man with the spectacles we used to see on TV. I do remember hearing, shortly before his court case in 1995, that he was one of the most highly decorated policemen in the old South African Police (SAP).

Dinner conversation turned to how, as one of the founder members of the notorious police unit, Koevoet, he had survived hundreds of contacts on the Border, to how he had ruled the infamous Vlakplaas unit with an iron fist. Someone speculated that Eugene had been living on borrowed time since his arrest: that, in any other time, he would have been sentenced to death or silenced by one of his own.

Immediately my curiosity was piqued. While the conversation had likely been coincidental, it happened at a personal turning point. That year, I found myself in the no man’s land of an unlived life and resolved to challenge myself.

That same evening I decided to muster all of my courage and asked Piet whether I could accompany him to Pretoria Central one Sunday. A one-off visit, I had thought: just to see what a jail looks like inside.

Piet agreed. On the very next Sunday, he met me in the parking lot. He had warned me that I would not even be allowed to take my handbag in. There was row upon row of wooden benches in the reception area, swarms of visitors queueing to fill in visitor forms, and prison warders – men and women – in brown uniforms. The journalist and writer Karin Eloff was with Piet, having visited Eugene a few times before with him.

Piet was in a hurry, so I could not form any clear impressions. I recall the strange experience of being signed in and passing through the inspection point. After being searched, we waited at the back of the reception area for a small bus that transported us some 500 metres to Medium-B. There we waited for another half an hour, and were searched again. Eventually we moved through the final gate into the biting cold of a quadrangle under an awning. More rows of benches. We chose a seat; I couldn’t help staring at the clusters of prisoners and their guests, leaning into one another as they spoke.

And suddenly he appeared: the man with the spectacles. Or, to be more precise, the man without any spectacles, who now preferred contact lenses. He walked towards us from the holding area where the prisoners waited for their visitors: a tall, well-built, upright man. He looked different, moved differently, from the prisoners around him. Purposeful. Resolute.

He sat down. Piet quickly introduced him, and off he went. The words poured out of him. There was no chance of interrupting his stream of stories and remarks with questions. He told of events in prison, of Koevoet memories, and remarked on the politics of the day, interspersing everything with his unique humour. Karin touched his arm.

In a blink of an eye, our allotted hour was over. Exhausted and overstimulated, I sank into my car. I recalled virtually nothing of what he had said, but burnt into my memory is how the left corner of his mouth tightened bitterly when he spoke of certain things.

I drove back home to my husband and children, to a safe, warm house, and it hit me like a thunderbolt that I knew nothing about the times and events that had clattered like gunfire from his mouth. Had I been fast asleep in the 1980s and the early 1990s? Born in 1964, I had grown up in apartheid’s zenith. Thinking back to my youth, I am surprised and shocked at how uninformed and naïve I was. Did I not want to know why our country was burning, or was I just blind?

Each year, on 16 December (Geloftedag, or Day of the Vow), us children sat in Old Alberton’s muggy Voortrekker Hall between people who smelt of talcum powder and silk stockings and tight suits. We were told to pray and thank God: we were His chosen people. I had grown up with an awareness of Afrikaner history – my grandfather had written his doctoral thesis on Blood River and the history of the Republic of Natal.

With most of my friends, I had been committed to the Dutch Reformed Church. At night the streets were safe. Even our garage party gatecrashers were harmless. They’d smoke and drink and do wheelspins on their 50cc motorbikes. During assembly in the Hoërskool Alberton quadrangle, the matric boys would sometimes sing, ‘Hey hey hey, he’s a wanker.’ It took me years to find out what a wanker was.

We had a domestic worker who lived in a maid’s room behind our house. Nesta cooked, cleaned, washed and ironed for all the Venters of Fleur Street. It shames me that I can’t remember her surname. Samuel looked after the garden. They both drank their coffee from tin mugs and had their own plates and knives, stored under the sink. We called them by their names; they called me and my sister nonna Anemari and Annette and my brother kleinbasie Hennie. My father and mother’s word was law. In 1981 Nesta took to drinking bloutrein (methylated spirits), became gravely ill and was admitted to an institution somewhere in northern Natal.

I had no idea my father was a Broederbond member. He worked for Armscor and was overseas for months on end. My mother got a pistol and kept the safe key in her dressing-gown pocket. She attended shooting practise organised by local reservists. At school, we attended Youth Preparedness (‘Jeugweerbaarheid’) classes. On Fridays, the boys wore cadet uniforms and marched on the rugby field. On occasion us girls also marched: eyes right, forward, march! O South Africa, dear land.

In 1981, our matric Afrikaans class discussed good and evil in the characters of Koki and Raka in Van Wyk Louw’s epic work Raka. We discussed the outsider personified by Diederik Versfeld in our setwork book Die son struikel: ‘Iemand het verkeerd gesny – ons geslag is te gou van die moer losgesny … Ons is nie klaar gebore voor ons in die lewe gelos is nie …’ (‘Someone had blundered – our generation had been cut loose from the womb too soon … We were not yet fully shaped before we were let loose into life …’).1

In History class we spent hours discussing European history and ‘natural segregation’ that appeared to be a solution for South Africa. Did our naivety ever discourage our teacher? Was he even aware of what was really going on, given the extent to which the National Party government had muzzled the press?

Boys … that was all my friends and I were really interested in. We had endless discussions about relationships, about the party we would attend on the weekend and how meaningful it would be to have a guy ‘close dance’ with you. We fell in love, kissing on the stands in athletics season and on RAU (Rand Afrikaans University) Island during prefect camps. In matric under the guidance of our cheerleaders we burned the ‘old spirit’ and we believed we were immortal. God was on our side.

Some of our friends went to the army, called up for two years of national service. When Arthur Froneman and Neville Schoeman died during basic training, death was suddenly among us. In the cemetery right behind the school, we wept in the guard of honour we formed at their funerals.

Eugene de Kock’s 1981 was a completely different world. That year he was involved in a number of bloody fights. As one of the founder members of the SAP’s covert Operation Koevoet, he had killed more people than he can – or wants to – remember. In 1981 he was reading books like Frederick Forsyth’s The Day of the Jackal.

By 1982, our group of school friends had scattered far and wide. Some of us went to university. Life got exciting; scholarships were plentiful. There were politically active students, but I did not move in those circles.

Life went on. I got married and, by 1989, I was playing house with my firstborn, a boy. We lived in rural Venda, then in the sleepy backwater of Louis Trichardt (Makhado). I had no political awareness.

In October 1989, Butana Almond Nofomela was on death row for the murder of a white farmer. He would be hanged. His security police colleagues refused to save his skin, so he decided to speak out about Vlakplaas. The very next month, Dirk Coetzee, a former Vlakplaas commanding officer, dropped the bomb about the Vlakplaas death squads in interviews with the Vrye Weekblad’s Jacques Pauw.

A former policeman told me once that at the time the police had distributed a circular stating that Coetzee was diabetic and, consequently, ‘not right in the head’. In addition, all police members had to contribute R2 to General Lothar Neethling’s legal fund for his court case against the Vrye Weekblad. At that stage there were about 134 000 officers in the police force.

My husband is a civil engineer. We moved to Shinyungwe in the Caprivi; the Golden Highway, which links Rundu and Katima Mulilo, was to be upgraded. From 1992 to 1994, a prefabricated structure in a road camp was home for me and my two sons, aged four and one. I was the only woman in a sea of men.

A few years previously, the Border War had still raged there. We had walked on the foundations of what were once the buildings of Fort Doppies, the SADF recce base on the Kwando River. We had no radio or television. That’s not an excuse, I know. But I had no political awareness.

We moved again – for the tenth time in as many years – to another rented house. We came back to South Africa just in time for the first democratic election in 1994. In 1995, after the birth of our daughter Carina, we moved yet again – this time to Salt Rock on the KwaZulu-Natal north coast, once the bastion of colonial life. There were good schools for the children, and we lived a safe and privileged life.

Then, the move to Alberton. I became ensnared in suburban monotony, the comfort zone in which the right friends, church groups and activities, and the achievements of your primary-school children, determine your status. I became bored, didn’t fit in. For years it felt as if I were in no man’s land.

Until the visit to Eugene de Kock in June 2011, when something shifted in my consciousness. Our blood-soaked past punched me in the stomach. I began to wish that I had known, thought, done more. Thirty years later, I want to recoil in shame over my ignorance, my apathy, my blind acceptance of the illusion of normality while a low-intensity war raged in our townships and we fought a full-scale war in what was then South West Africa.

By my fourth visit, I had decided I wanted to learn more about Eugene as a person. I hoped that in the process I would also get to know more about the era in which he had worked as a policeman. We sat in the square near the women’s jail, the prison benches reminiscent of garden furniture. Above me, strings of underwear and towels hung out of windows to dry. Behind me, on the first floor, were rows of small windows from which visitors were observed. The warders who moved around everywhere and a few men in orange overalls also kept a keen eye on everybody. Cardboard boxes between the benches served as waste bins. Everything felt slightly dirty.

We drank Coke and shared a KitKat Eugene broke strip by strip. He is an old-fashioned gentleman who always dusted off the dirty bench with his handkerchief before I sat down. His overall was always meticulously ironed, his hair neatly cut. ‘Do you see that guy with only one eye?’ he said. ‘That’s the Melville Koppies murderer.’

I looked around. About 20 men in prison overalls sat on benches in groups, chatting to their visitors – parents with plastic carrier bags visiting their sons, and girlfriends and friends. In the bus between the prison entrance and the visiting area, they would strike up conversation. Children in their Sunday best sat on their prisoner-fathers’ laps or played on the jungle gym in the sandy square. Christoff Becker, one of the so-called Waterkloof Four, sat to one side with a blonde woman, his hair cut in a mullet and his overall as tight-fitting as a second skin. Later I started recognising others, too: Ferdi Barnard, Clive Derby-Lewis, Janusz Walus.

‘What’s the story with his eye?’ I enquired about the Melville Koppies murderer.

‘Gangs.’

Eugene’s eyes flashed back and forth. ‘I want to ask a favour. I hear that things are not well with the ex-Koevoet policemen who were resettled somewhere in the vicinity of Warmbaths. They are Ovambo and Kavango people … displaced. Could you please go to Vingerkraal farm where they stay and see how they are doing?’

‘Okay,’ I said.

The hour-long visits were always intense. One talked quickly, focused acutely, breathed shallowly.

Eugene stood to one side and talked to others while I joined the tuck-shop queue. Two packets of crisps (R4 each), three Cokes (R7 each) and a Tex (R7), handy items for the prison’s exchange system. What a different world!

Then it was time to say goodbye again. He stuffed the food into his pockets, gave me a quick hug. I walked out without looking back. The sun made my eyes water as I climbed into the bus.

Who is the real Eugene de Kock? He is a complex individual. It didn’t take me long to realise there is more to him than the media’s label of ‘Prime Evil’. I began to read up on the Bush War and the apartheid era. I collected information from the handwritten notes he had compiled for the psychologists and a criminologist during his trial, and read the diaries he made available to me, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) reports, and newspaper clippings. And I listened to family members’ and former colleagues’ recollections and anecdotes.

Twice a month at visiting time, for three years, I would make notes of our conversations on my arm – paper was prohibited. Back in my car, the first thing I would do, would be to recall our discussion and, using the key words on my arm, write down parts of it.

I am not a psychologist, a historian or a journalist. What I am is a child of apartheid. One who wanted to understand how certain things could have happened. So, I began to travel the country, following in Eugene’s footsteps and trying to reconstruct his history, piece by piece. On a quest for greater comprehension.

‘All the offender’s personal circumstances had to be taken into account. This included his character, his conduct in life and his personality apart from the offences committed. Everything that influenced the commission of the offences had to be taken into account in order to arrive at the correct decision as to the future of that particular individual. In addition to the cold, clinical facts relating to age, factors that influenced the offender in his early years and in later life, experiences, marital status, career, religious and ideological beliefs, previous convictions, educational qualifications, health, and so on, the court further reported that it was necessary to attempt to summarise the individual as a person.’

– QUOTED FROM JUDGE WILLEM VAN DER MERWE’S SENTENCING PROCEEDINGS IN EUGENE DE KOCK’S CRIMINAL TRIAL, 30 OCTOBER 1996.