So, before we hear Fred’s answer, you need to know that some time has passed. The Whites’ Christmas lights don’t even look out of place any more; Eric has taken the unusual step of putting up some of his own lights outside the Stones’ flat.^fn1 Margaret Scratcher has got considerably fluffier as it has got colder. And Fred and Ellie have been making a lot of use of the Controller.

They’ve used it to do their chores. (You can tidy your room very quickly when two flicks will propel you from the floor to the cupboard and back again. Plus, Ellie found that, if she pressed amber-plus-diamond while Fred was pointing at a pile of clothes, they just folded themselves up automatically.) They’ve used it to make boring car journeys more exciting (and neither Eric nor Janine even noticed that their children were doing somersaults on the roof); they even used it to spice up trick-or-treating at Halloween (it’s amazing how much more frightening – and therefore how many more sweets people will give you – a cheap skeleton costume becomes when it’s leaping up the side of a house).

And, of course, they used it at the November school football team trial. A lot of the other boys – and Mr Barrington – looked pained when they saw Fred approaching, all kitted up and smiling. The words “not again” and “how are the shoelaces doing?” and “oh no, he’s brought his nerd sister along …” were muttered.

However, one bit of keepy-uppy, two back-heels, three drag-and-goes, four zigzags and five goals later, the muttering had stopped. Had turned in fact to cheering, and applause, and a first-name-on-the-sheet place in the school team for the upcoming semi-final versus Geary Road.

So now let’s return to Fred and what he said to Mr. Barrington when his teacher asked him to speak up and tell everyone exactly how he did it.