One big problem with the creative department at J. Walter Thompson was that—when I started running it, at least—nobody very good wanted to work there. I doubted that we could recruit a decent porter. Thompson New York was seen as uptight, stodgy, and not very creative.
How uptight? Back when I was hired, female vice presidents were encouraged to wear hats inside the office, and women weren’t allowed in the executive dining room; instead, waiters in tuxes brought lunch to their offices on trays under silver plate covers. Fortunately, most of that had changed by the time I became creative director, but we still had a ways to go.
Necessity truly is the mother of invention, so here’s what I decided to do about our personnel problems in the 1980s. I ran a full-page ad in the New York Times. Back page of the business section.
The headline got right to the point: “Write If You Want Work.”
What followed in the ad was a test for writers and other creatives. Eight deceptively tricky questions. Here are four of them:
The ingredients listed on the tin of baked beans read: “Beans, Water, Tomatoes, Sugar, Salt, Modified Starch, Vinegar, Spices.” Make it sound mouthwatering.
You may have heard this story about the person who made a fortune selling refrigerators to Eskimos. In not more than 100 words, how would you sell a telephone to a Trappist monk who is observing the strict Rule of Silence? (But the monk can nod acceptance at the end.)
Design/draw two posters. One is for legislating strict gun control laws. The other is in support of the NRA.
You just learned that the IRS is planning to lower the percentage ratio of income to medical expenses, thus lowering the tax deductions for dental, psychiatric, and medical expenses. You are a reporter for a daily newspaper. The editor wants to make this a banner story. Write a compelling headline in a coherent two-column story.
The reason I ran the ad was that I was desperate, but I also suspected there were talented people out there who would be great in advertising—they just didn’t know how to get in the front door.
So I made it easy for them. I showed them a side door.
We received a couple thousand submissions and we hired eight writers from that one ad in the New York Times. We then sent the ad and the story around to the media, who proceeded to run our ad for free.
Over the next few years, we hired over fifty writers based on “Write If You Want Work” and a couple of interviews. I could evaluate the test-takers in a couple of minutes and immediately tell (a) whether they could write worth a damn, and (b) whether they could solve problems.
Of the fifty-plus creatives we eventually hired, only one didn’t work out, and that was because he was claustrophobic and couldn’t be in an office.
My favorite hire turned out to be my eventual kids’ book partner and pal Chris Grabenstein. Another good hire, Dan Staley, went on to become a producer on Cheers. Tony Puryear wrote the original screenplay for the hit movie Eraser. Craig Gillespie directed I, Tonya.
Good for all of them.