Listen! Shush! Eyes to the front. Ears to the sides. There’s one word I want you to memorize today. Just one word.

This one word will make school so much easier, and so much more fun.

Are you ready? Who’s ready? I’m ready.

Outline, babies! Outline, outline, outline!

Outline your book reports, outline any speech you have to make in school, outline your e-mails, outline the texts you send to your friends.

I outlined this speech before I came to your school. See how good it is?

Also…

Please try to keep your brains open to new ideas.

You don’t have to accept everything people tell you, but at least listen to what they have to say.

Keep those precious brains of yours open!

Open your beautiful, young brains and let the sunshine in!

Because if your mind is closed, then nothing new can get inside.

Let’s think about that for a second. Closed mind—nothing gets inside.

Okay, now. In the spirit of open minds—try to walk in somebody else’s shoes at least once a day. Maybe even twice a day.

What’s it like for your poor teachers to have to put up with you rowdy, ill-tempered boys and girls? Just kidding. You’re all very nice!

What’s it like for the other kids in your class? I’m talking about every single kid in this school! What is school like for them? Please walk in their shoes.

Okay, and what’s it like for your moms and dads? They think about you all the time. Especially your moms. Now it’s time to think about them.

Another thing. This is kind of earth-shakingly important. If you’re a bully—stop it right now!

Being a bully could mean you have stuff to work out at home. So try your best to work it out at home.

Now, I’m going to say this one more time—whenever you have to write anything, especially anything longer than a post on Twitter—

What’s the word? Let me hear it!

(The kids all shout.)

Yes. Outline! Excellent!

You all memorized it already.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you.

Remember. Open your minds and let the sunshine in!

No more bullies as of today!

Outline!

Don’t forget me. I’ll never forget you! Someday I’ll put you all in a book.