It was late autumn. Fereshteh came over at around four in the afternoon. She looked thinner and pale. I ran up the stairs but sat next to the banister to hear her talking. Fereshteh asked Mother, ‘Tell Shahaab to come down. I want to take him out.’ Mother looked at her, surprised, and said, ‘What’s going on again? Why do you want to take him out? School has started and I’ve heard you have a lot of homework. It’s cold outside and gets dark earlier. I don’t think these outings are such a good idea any more.’
‘I just want to relax a bit at the park. I’ll take my books and study while Shahaab plays. I get bored in the house. I can study better outside in the fresh air.’
Asi said, ‘What a liar! Don’t go with her!’
Mother said, ‘I’m not sure. What you do is up to you and your parents. But I don’t think Shahaab really wants to go.’
‘Can I ask him myself?’
I ran to my room, hid under the covers and pretended to be asleep. Fereshteh walked in. She sat next to the bed and said in a quiet voice, ‘Get up! Stop being a brat. It’s not nap time. Let’s go to the park.’ I turned my back to her. ‘I promise we’ll just go to the park. Ramin really wants to see you. He’s bought you a really cool car. Come on! I’m late.’
Her sudden silence made me curious. I peeked from under the covers. She had turned even paler and was looking at Mother standing by the door. We weren’t sure how long she had been there and what she had heard. Fereshteh stuttered, ‘He’s pretending to be asleep.’
Mother looked at her suspiciously and said, ‘Let him be. You know how stubborn he is. He’ll never do something he doesn’t want to. He’ll just give you a hard time if you force him to go. If you’re bored at home just stay and study here.’
Asi laughed and said, ‘Mother’s so stupid!’ We stuck our head under the covers and laughed.
Fereshteh got up sadly, patted my back through the covers and said, ‘So you’re going to leave me in suspense too . . . ’ Then she left.
It was getting dark when someone rang the door-bell. Mother pressed the buzzer and opened the door. Khosrow ran into the hall. As soon as he saw me he said, ‘Oh! So you’re back? Where’s Fereshteh? Why won’t she come home?’ He yelled, ‘Fereshteh! Where are you? Hurry up! Father will be home soon.’
Mother stepped forwards and said, ‘Khosrow, what’s going on? Are you looking for Fereshteh?’
‘Oh, hi! Yes. Why is she hanging out here? Tell her to come home.’
‘Fereshteh isn’t here.’
‘So how did Shahaab get back home? Wasn’t he with her?’
‘No. Fereshteh came over this afternoon to take him out, but he didn’t go. Isn’t she back yet?’
‘Then who did she go with?’
‘Maybe she went by herself. She wanted to go to the park to study.’
Khosrow ran out of the house without saying goodbye. Five minutes later he reappeared with Fataneh.
‘Maryam, where is Fereshteh?’
‘I don’t know. She came here this afternoon to pick up Shahaab, but he wasn’t feeling well and didn’t join her. I thought she returned home.’
‘No, she didn’t! What am I going to do? There’ll be trouble if her father finds out.’
‘It’s not that late. She had her books with her. She wanted to study.’
Fataneh replied with frustration, ‘It’s cold and dark outside! What a liar. Like Hassani, who would only go to school on Saturdays!’7
‘Maybe she’s gone to study with a friend.’
‘What friend?’
‘How should I know? You know her friends. Don’t you have their numbers? Call them and see if she’s there?’
‘At this time of night?’
‘Young people never notice the time when they get together.’
Khosrow said, ‘She’s probably gone over to Sousan’s again. Her number’s in the phonebook. Let’s call her.’
‘Okay. Sorry to bother you, Maryam. Please don’t tell Nasser. Thank God his mother moved back home, otherwise she would leak it to him. She’ll probably show up soon wherever she is.’
‘Let me know when she gets back.’
‘Okay.’
Mother turned to me as soon as they left. ‘I’m glad you didn’t go with her. Why didn’t you want to go? Do you know where she is?’ I shrugged.
An hour later Father and Arash got home. Poor Arash was so tired he could hardly walk. Mother ran up to him and helped him with his backpack and said, ‘Go and wash. Supper is ready. You’re very tired, aren’t you?’
Arash kept nodding off over supper. Mother said, ‘Arash, eat your food and go to bed.’
‘I can’t. I have to study for a test tomorrow.’
‘No, darling. Go to bed. You’re too tired to study now. I’ll wake you up early tomorrow.’
Arash had a few more mouthfuls and dragged himself off to his room. Mother asked Father, ‘Why do you pressure him so much? Why did he need an extra maths class? He’s doing pretty well in school.’
‘No, he’s not! He got a B in maths.’
‘That’s a good grade at his level. He’s not in junior school any more. His subjects are more difficult now. He can’t always earn an A.’
‘Of course he can! My son has to participate in the mathematical Olympiad. If we don’t tend to him now he’ll never earn first prize.’
‘So what? His health is more important than any prize! Why do you care so much about him winning first prize anyway?’
‘I’m concerned about his future. This one has to be our pride and joy.’
‘So that’s it! His future is just an excuse. You’re only thinking about yourself. You want to show off and tell everyone that he’s first in his class. You don’t care if he breaks under all this pressure.’
She angrily picked up the dishes and put them in the sink.
Asi said, ‘Good for her! Mother is really clever sometimes.’
I was brushing my teeth when the door-bell went. Father picked up the intercom receiver and listened to the caller. He said, ‘It’s my brother! What’s he doing here at this time of night?’ He opened the door he’d just locked. My uncle, Khosrow and Fataneh all stepped in. Father said, ‘What’s going on?’
‘I’m ruined! Fereshteh is missing!’
Mother asked Fataneh, ‘She wasn’t at her friend’s? Did you call?’
‘Yes, we called all the numbers in her address book. No one knows where she is!’
Father asked, ‘Didn’t she say where she was going? She just left without asking permission? When did she go?’
‘I don’t know! Ask her mother!’
Fataneh burst into tears. ‘She went to take Shahaab out like she usually does. My poor girl is so kind, she wanted to do something for this child. She thought she could make him talk. Since the beginning of the summer she’s spent several hours each day trying to teach him things. I kept asking her to stop, to pay more attention to her own schoolwork. I told her it was a waste of time. But she felt sorry for him. She said someone had to do something. She wanted to make her uncle happy. Today when she came to pick him up Shahaab didn’t go with her. I don’t know where she went!’
Mother was surprised and replied angrily, ‘What do you mean, every day? It’s been more than three months since Shahaab went out with her!’
‘What? She didn’t take Shahaab to the park? I came and asked you once myself!’
‘That was during the summer. She came and took him to the park for a month, or a month and a half. But then Shahaab didn’t want to go any more, so she didn’t come back until this afternoon. But Shahaab didn’t want to go this time either.’
Uncle, Fataneh and Khosrow stared at Mother in confusion. My uncle grasped the situation before the rest and his anger became tenfold. He turned to Fataneh and said, ‘So where has she been going every afternoon?’ Fataneh began to stutter. She turned pale and said, ‘I really don’t know! Maryam, are you sure? Maybe she picked him up on the street and you didn’t notice.’
Mother was clearly angry now. ‘What are you saying? Since when have my children been out on the streets without my knowing? I check on them every five minutes. How can he be gone for two hours without my noticing? No! Wherever she went, she went on her own, not with my son.’
Uncle yelled at Fataneh, ‘It’s all your fault, woman! The way you’ve raised your kids, each one worse than the other! What kind of a mother are you? Your daughter was out two hours every day and you never knew where she was?’
‘What do you expect from me? She’s not just my child! Why didn’t you pay any attention yourself? My poor daughter wanted to help your nephew. Did you expect me to say no?’
‘Haven’t you understood yet that it was just an excuse?’
Father stepped in and said, ‘This is not the time to argue. The important issue now is to find Fereshteh. Do you have any idea where she may be?’
‘I’ve called all her friends and she’s not with any of them.’
‘What about family? Maybe she’s at her grandmother’s?’
Fataneh said, ‘No! If they find out it’ll be terrible. Maryam, please keep this to yourself. Don’t let anyone know.’
‘Don’t worry. I never see anyone anyway, and I don’t spend an hour each day on the phone with my in-laws, giving them a report on everything that’s going on!’
Fataneh was perturbed. Father said, ‘She would go to one of the relatives if she were upset. Did you two have an argument? Was she upset before she left?’
‘No, we didn’t have an argument. I just told her to leave this child alone. I said if he were improvable, he’d have improved by now. She didn’t answer me. She hasn’t been herself lately. She’s more introverted and has lost weight. She’s depressed. I thought it was because she was worried about Shahaab.’ Mother smirked.
Uncle said, ‘I think we should call Mother. We don’t need to say anything. We’ll know from her tone if something’s going on.’
Fataneh said, ‘I talked to her for an hour this afternoon. She’ll get suspicious if I call again. Maybe Maryam should call her.’
‘Me? She’ll be more suspicious if I call, because I only ring her if I have something important to say.’
Father said, ‘Do you want me to phone just to see how she is?’
Uncle said, ‘Yes, Nasser, you call. She’ll tell you if she knows anything.’
Father picked up the phone and talked to Grandmother and Aunt Shahin. Fataneh called her sisters too but it was useless. Fataneh began to cry. Uncle kept pacing the living room worriedly. I was confused. Asi and Babi were silent too. Father said, ‘We should call the police.’
Fataneh said, ‘Oh no!’
Mother suddenly jumped up as if she’d found a solution, ‘I know! They’ve probably taken her in.’
‘Who’s taken her?’
‘The morality police! Don’t worry. It’s not a big deal. These days they constantly arrest young boys and girls in the park.’
‘What for?’
‘For different things. The most basic is improper hijab.’
Father said, ‘Maryam’s right. She probably went to the park after she left here. Haven’t you seen how they collect teenagers every hour and take them to the station?’
Uncle said angrily, ‘That shameless girl! I’ll let her have it! How was she dressed?’
Mother tried to calm him down; ‘You don’t have to be dressed improperly for the morality police to find fault.’
‘So, what now?’
Father said, ‘Nothing. We’ll check out the stations and find her.’
‘I’ll kill her.’
‘Calm down, brother. Let’s find her first.’
Mother said, ‘Hossein, don’t disturb yourself. These days every parent with a teenager has had their child arrested by the morality police. When I still worked at the office my co-workers each had stories about their kids and how they’d been picked up by the morality police. These things are pretty common now. Don’t take it too hard. You should count your blessings if you find her there, it could be a lot worse.’ Everyone stared at Mother like they were each imagining something awful.
They sent Khosrow home so he could let everyone know if Fereshteh returned, or if there were a phone call. Father and Uncle left in the car to go and check different police stations. Fataneh stayed with Mother to keep from going crazy with worry. Shadi had fallen asleep on the sofa without anyone noticing. Mother picked her up and came upstairs. I ran into my room and pretended to be asleep. Mother placed Shadi in her bed, and then sat on mine. She took off my socks and pulled the sheets over me. She caressed my head and kissed me softly on the cheek. I loved it when she did this.
7 A Persian saying about the pointlessness of doing things at the wrong time.