CHAPTER ONE
Holistic Mama Prep
Before the bedroom: Getting your body ready for easier and healthier baby-making
How many of us really think about where our food goes after we eat it? It’s just gone and we move on with our day, right?
Actually, no. Food can be the most powerful medicine or the slowest form of poison, depending on what, how, and why we eat. Our food, once digested properly, is absorbed into our blood. Our blood is what creates our cells, tissues, organs, skin, hair, nails, and even the quality of our emotions and thoughts. We really do think and feel differently when we eat wild salmon and broccoli with brown rice versus a doughnut and fries, or drink plain water versus coffee and alcohol. If we’re being honest, we all know this to be true based on personal experience.
However, even the healthiest people—including health practitioners like us—don’t eat perfectly all the time, because there is no such thing as perfect. What is possible, though, is to abide by something called the 80/20 rule; 80 percent of the time we are very intentional about choosing clean, healthy, nourishing food. The other 20 percent of the time we indulge because it just feels good or is convenient.
Many body reactions are biochemically controlled by the food we eat, including our baby-making hormones and ovulation. It’s helpful to envision the process of biochemistry like a whirlpool. When we are not eating healthily, we get stuck in a negative biochemical whirlpool of toxicity, which is continuously fueled by nutritional deficiencies. This is how the vicious cycle of cravings, overeating, and weight gain ensues. We desperately want to make different choices, but we literally can’t. It’s too overpowering. The cravings sneak up behind us. They call our name and pull us down.
In real-life terms, this is when you wake up and have to have a cup of coffee to officially wake up. You may follow this with a pastry, a bagel, or a muffin, which are mostly simple and refined carbohydrates that get converted into sugar quickly during the digestion process. Both of these choices have signaled your whirlpool to flow the wrong way, meaning you are training your body to burn sugar instead of fat while operating on stress hormones that burn short and fast (like fireworks) instead of “real food” that is burned slowly and evenly. And it’s not even 8 a.m.!
Sugar is sugar no matter how it is ingested or what form it comes in—and it comes in many forms. Whether it’s a spoonful of the white stuff, or a breakfast muffin, the aftereffect will be the same. When a bagel or muffin with a high glycemic index (the measure of how much or little a food affects blood sugar levels—the higher a food is on the glycemic index, the higher your blood sugar rises after you eat it) is consumed, your pancreas releases the hormone insulin in order to process the sugar efficiently. When you force your body to secrete an excess of insulin to manage a high-sugar or refined-carbohydrate diet, your cells become more and more resistant to insulin, which leads to weight gain and hormonal issues.
Later you crave more caffeine and sugar—this makes sense; you started the day with both and now the body wants more short, quick bursts of energy because it is trained to run on low-quality fuel. But the next part is a little trickier. The negative whirlpool has also triggered cravings for fried or overly salty foods. All of these are false forms of energy, which are dangerous because they worsen nutritional deficiencies by putting a strain on your adrenals and increasing risk of disease.
Why does sugar have such far-reaching effects? Sugar is a quick fix that leaches our body of the important vitamins, minerals, and nutrients we need to function optimally. The adrenal glands (the gas tank of the body) need fat and protein and myriad other nutrients like trace minerals, B vitamins, and omega-3 fatty acids to thrive. When we eat foods high in sugar that provide a quick fix, not only does it kill the good bacteria in our gut (more about good bacteria—probiotics—here), preventing it from manufacturing essential B vitamins and vitamin K on its own, but it also leaches key minerals like magnesium and B vitamins from the body. This weakens our system and drains the gas out of our tank, so to speak, leading to depleted and impaired adrenal gland output and further hormonal imbalances that impair our ability to conceive naturally.
Ready for the good news? This unhealthy pattern is easily fixed by your body’s own healing capacity. We thrive when we give our body what it really needs. The whirlpool will begin to shift until it flows in the right direction, naturally, on its own. It’s a pretty cool concept to live a life without cravings, willpower, or denial, right? Balance and health truly are our natural state.
We always need to honor our bodies where they currently are (sick or well, working or not). Depending on where we are in life—is this a period of intense stress and change or one of stability, one of stasis or one of development?—we need to eat differently to accommodate what our bodies most need at that particular time. Our body is a vessel that is made to house and nourish an unborn baby for around nine months. Once we recognize the fundamental function food plays in every aspect of our well-being and creating life, we can use it as a healthy anchor in today’s fast-paced, uncertain world. Food can be the tether that takes us to an internal state of peace and vibrancy that optimally prepares the body for conception and for nourishing a baby for nine months, regardless of our external conditions. It is that powerful.
Remember, you wouldn’t want to start a road trip with a cluttered car or without an oil change. This process streamlines and preps your body for a much smoother and more enjoyable experience so you can cruise, instead of sputter, throughout pregnancy.
A PROGRAM FOR EVERY PREGNANCY, NOT JUST THE FIRST
We can’t stress enough how important your preconception health and well-being is before you try to conceive, and we’d like to sing from the rooftops how it is even more important when regarding conception for your second, third, or fourth child, especially if you already have a toddler.
Let’s face it, getting pregnant the first time is enough to knock anyone’s socks off. It is so overwhelmingly exciting that you can’t get enough of all things baby, all things belly, and all things adorable because babies are so tiny and precious.
Getting pregnant the second time brings all these wonderfully familiar feelings, but with virtually no time to experience them or notice them—at least that was true in Willow’s case. Willow got pregnant when her son was fifteen months old, and in her opinion, toddlers are like treadmills without an off button. In fact, they are treadmills with an incline of six and a speed of ten. If you add morning sickness and fatigue to this, you have a fantastic recipe for… well, destruction. It can take its toll. But it doesn’t have to.
By boosting your body’s health before you are pregnant, you can give yourself and your baby the best vitality possible and get back to having enough energy for an all-day treadmill marathon with your toddler and enjoying all things baby, belly, and tiny.
SO, LET’S ASSESS!
A baby grows from the materials provided by its mother. The healthier you are when you get pregnant, the more you increase the chance for optimal growth for baby. Not to mention the fact that it makes it easier for you during pregnancy, so that you avoid depleting your reserves. You have to know where you are in order to know where you’re going. No judgment here; we’re just having a good, honest look at everything so you can map out and customize the process of designing a super vessel for your super baby.
Take our Where to Start Assesment (on the next page) to find out where you fall on the spectrum of health as you prepare to get pregnant. The results of this test will help you determine exactly how healthy you are now and how much preparation you may need to get pregnant, taking into consideration factors such as diet, your relationship with food, potential toxicity, and nutritional deficiencies. Like an internal GPS, you must set your starting point in order to route the best path to optimal health for you and your developing baby.
Simply circle the answers that most closely resemble your current lifestyle and add up the points at the end.
WHERE TO START ASSESSMENT
How many 8-ounce caffeinated beverages do you drink a day?
0: 0 points
1: 1 points
2: 2 points
3 or more: 3 points
How many alcoholic beverages do you drink a week?
0: 0 points
2–3: 1 point
5: 2 points
More than 5: 3 points
Do you smoke?
No: 0 points
Yes: 3 points
How many times have you taken antibiotics in your life?
Never: 0 points
3–5 times: 1 point
5–7 times: 2 points
More than 7 times: 3 points
Are you taking pharmaceuticals (prescription and over the counter) daily?
No: 0 points
1 drug: 1 point
2 drugs: 2 points
3 or more drugs: 3 points
How often do you take over-the-counter medications?
Never: 0 points
Once a month: 1 point
More than once a month: 2 points
Daily: 3 points
How often do you consume sugar? Include not just candy or dessert, but sugar hiding in things like bread, yogurt, and condiments, to name a few.
Almost never: 0 points
Once a week: 1 point
A few times a week: 2 points
Daily: 3 points
Have you had/how often do you get yeast infections or urinary tract infections (UTIs)?
Never: 0 points
Every 3–5 years or less: 1 point
Once a year: 2 points
More than once a year: 3 points
What is the frequency of your bowel movements?
Two or more times daily: 0 points
Once daily: 1 point
Every other day: 2 points
Every few days: 3 points
Do you typically eat breakfast?
Yes: 0 points
No: 3 points
How often do you eat out in a week?
Never: 0 points
Up to 3 times: 1 point
4–5 times: 2 points
More than 5 times: 3 points
How many 8-ounce glasses of water do you drink daily?
More than 8: 0 points
8: 1 point
5–7: 2 points
3–5: 3 points
Where do you grocery shop?
Farmers’ market, my own garden, and/or food co-op: 0 points
Health food store: 1 point
Conventional grocery store: 3 points
Do you eat fried food or fast food 2 or more times per week (including at home)?
No: 0 points
Yes: 3 points
How many artificial sweeteners do you consume a day? (Includes soda and other diet drinks, gum, and pink, yellow, and blue packets in coffee or tea.)
0: 0 points
1–3: 1 point
3–6: 2 points
More than 6: 3 points
How many 1-cup servings of non-starchy vegetables do you eat a day?
More than 4: 0 points
2–4: 1 point
1–2: 2 points
1 or less: 3 points
What is your energy level?
Great: 0 points
Okay: 1 point
Too many dips: 2 points
Exhausted: 3 points
Describe your sleep.
Sound/great: 0 points
Hard to fall asleep: 1 point
Wake up in the middle of the night or too early: 2 points
Insomnia: 3 points
What is your BMI? (One website that you can use to calculate your BMI is the National Institutes of Health website.)
18–25%: 0 points
Less than 18%: 1 point
25–30%: 2 points
30% or higher: 3 points
Are you anemic?
No: 0 points
Yes: 1 point
Not sure: 2 points
Do you experience dizziness:
No: 0 points
Yes: 1 point
Do you have low blood pressure?
No: 0 points
Yes: 1 point
Not sure: 2 points
COLUMN TOTALS:
0:
1:
2:
3:
GRAND TOTAL:
Score of 0 to 15: Ready to rock. If you scored anywhere in this range, your current level of health and lifestyle habits is healthy—very cool. Prepare for some fine-tuning and get ready to rock!
Score of 16 to 30: Not bad; pat yourself on the back. You have a good foundation and are fairly healthy but it’s time to step it up a notch. Pace yourself, follow your intuition, and make changes at your own rate. Do not take all of the advice in this book all at once or you risk detoxing too quickly. Rather, portion it out, week by week, in ways that keep you motivated and inspired.
Score of over 30: There’s no better time to start than right now. If you scored more than 30 points, no sweat. We are your guides to help you improve your lifestyle in small increments so the changes last. Just a few subtle changes will have big effects on your health. We suggest you keep a notepad as you read this book and list three things from each chapter that you would like to add to or omit from your current regimen.
Choose things that sound exciting and doable, not things that sound onerous and overwhelming (or you risk becoming frustrated and giving up completely). Start with a few changes from Chapter 1 and then add more at your own pace (and so on and so forth). Little by little, your biochemistry will begin to shift with every change you make. After a few weeks, you’ll notice the difference and feel excited to incorporate more and more of this book into your daily life. Eventually, you will find that you’ve added all of it to your daily routine. It might seem daunting now, but if you add in a few doable changes at a time, you will reap great benefits. We’ve seen thousands of lives change from following the advice that’s in this book and we are so happy that you found us!
THE FUTURE IS IN YOUR HANDS
Your unborn child’s blueprint for her adult life health starts now. Sounds a bit dramatic, we know, but it is really true. This is why we refer to preconception as the first trimester in this book. Did you know that it takes around 90 days for an egg to mature before conception? This means that its viability—how likely it is that individual egg will be successfully implanted—and its quality are determined more than two months before you “try” to get pregnant. The same applies to the sperm, which develops about 64 days before it is sent on its most important mission. This means the health of your future little one is determined way before she is even a glimmer in your eye.
You and your partner hold within you the power to create a super baby with the healthiest organs, glands, and tissues possible. Crazy cool, right? Since you have the power, all you need are the tools to help your baby develop to her healthiest extent. This book is your ultimate instructional guide.
What you eat and do now will affect everything, even your grandchildren’s health. How is this possible? Through epigenetics. Epigenetics are like the on and off switches of our DNA. These switches, once thought to be permanently set, are actually capable of changing, and one way we can change them to positively affect our DNA and genes is through diet. This was first genetically proven with rats by epigenetics researcher Dr. Randy Jirtle, and outlined in the journal of Molecular and Cellular Biology (2003).1 So you can change your DNA (and hence your baby’s) for the better just by making smart decisions about the foods you eat.
What you eat now and what you do now will affect everything, even your grandchildren’s health.
What you eat dramatically influences your gut microbiome, or the combined genetic material of the microorganisms (good and bad bugs) living in your digestive system, which play a significant role in your overall health. The choices you make now not only affect your health throughout pregnancy, but also pay enormous dividends in your child’s quality of life, all the way through adulthood, because your baby will inherit your gut microbiome or the state of your gut health, which will lay the foundation for her immune system.
This is why cleaning up gut health is one of the best things you can do for your health and the health of future generations. Taking the time to carefully consider how you want to draw your baby’s map to health is one of the most loving things you can do for your child. Setting a solid foundation for your baby’s health and taking control of your well-being also ensures that you can fully enjoy motherhood. That foundation starts with the biological process of ovulation.
Now we’d like to talk with you about ovulation so that you understand how to find your own unique window. This way, by the time you finish your 12-week preconception prep work (mapped out in Chapter 5), you’ll already have three months of practice. Becoming familiar with your ovulation window early on can help make conception easier when the time comes.
FINDING YOUR UNIQUE OVULATION WINDOW
Ovulation, the short magical window when everything is supposed to happen… perfectly. That’s a lot of pressure for women to time it “just right.” This window of fertile opportunity is less than twenty-four-hours long and most of us have no idea how to determine it or likely are not determining it correctly. There are a million resources out there that go into great detail on using thermometers, calendars, fluid viscosity, charts, and the like. We find that most of these are a challenging balancing act and can be just downright confusing. So without oversimplifying the process too much, here are our favorite ways to find that perfect little ovulation window. Let’s start with an overview of a woman’s cycle based on an average, healthy 28-day cycle.
Day 1: Period starts by bleeding (the lining of the uterus sheds for 3 to 7 days).
Day 14: Ovulation occurs. This is when a mature egg is released from the ovary and moves into the fallopian tube, where it is available for fertilization. On average, one mature egg is released every month. Ovulation is preceded 24 to 36 hours by a surge of LH, the luteinizing hormone secreted by the pituitary gland (another reason thyroid health is crucial) that triggers the release of the mature egg. Hence a healthy pituitary gland leads to a healthy thyroid and proper ovulation on Day 14.
Day 28: The cycle ends and the period starts again.
Ovulation is the short window and the only time during a cycle that a woman can get pregnant. It is also dependent upon having a viable mature egg released, as well as healthy sperm that are able to reach the egg for fertilization. In between these days, estrogen and progesterone fluctuate with peaks, falls, normalizing… and repeat.
When Do I Ovulate?
Since it is crucial to conceiving, it’s important for you to figure out when you’re ovulating. First write down or make a note on your computer or phone’s calendar the date you start your period for 3 to 4 months. You may have already been tracking this information.
We all ovulate 12 to 16 days before our period starts, not 12 to 16 days after. This is why it’s hard to catch the window. We are working in reverse. For example, if your period cycle is on average 30 days long, then you ovulate around 16 days after you start your period. Sometimes we vary in the length of our cycle, so knowing if you are on the shorter side or longer side of 28 days is extremely helpful when tracking your ovulation window. If your cycle is consistent, you’ll be able to count backward 12 to 16 days from the date you start your period and see when you ovulate.
Some women just know. These are some of the signs:
• Mittelschmerz, which is one-sided, lower abdominal pain associated with ovulation.
• The change in viscosity and amount of vaginal discharge.
• Basal body temperature, the temperature of your body when you wake up in the morning before you even sit up in bed. Using a basal thermometer, you can chart your temperature over the course of a few months. The body temperature a few days before ovulation occurs is slightly lower. After ovulation, the temperature will rise. This tells you that you ovulated but isn’t that great of an indicator on when you are going to ovulate. Utilize the chart over a few months to see the patterns to find your “window.”
• Desire: feeling more attracted to your partner or enhanced sexual desire. After all, our bodies are genetically made to replicate.
These are great ways to find your window, but they are not always foolproof. And they aren’t easy for many of us. So what to do if you don’t “feel” the time of ovulation? Ovulation test kits are the answer! They are cheap and extremely easy to use. Some people find them too “sterile,” taking all the spontaneity out of making a baby, but if you have tried a few times spontaneously, have been trying for more than six months, or just want to know your window, we suggest giving a test kit a chance.
The secret trick? Use them correctly.
Step One: Buy a kit with at least 20 strips (most kits provide one reusable test stick with multiple test strips that you insert to use). Willow recommends the brand Clearblue, but for updated product reviews you can check out her website, balancingyourhealth.com.
Step Two: Test your urine 2 to 3 times a day starting 10 days after the first day of your last period. Test until the stick gives you a positive for an LH surge, or all the way through to 21 days after the first day of your period, whichever happens first. This means you will be testing for 11 full days or until the ovulation stick gives you a positive result. Most women will get this positive result before 11 full days of testing but this lengthy window will help cover all bases and menstrual cycles. If you aren’t getting a positive result, make sure you are using the test correctly and then try testing at different times of the day.
You’ll want to test more than once a day since the kits test the LH surge that happens in your body prior to ovulation. This LH surge signals the body to release the egg. Ovulation occurs within 24 to 36 hours after the LH surge, so if you only test one time a day you can miss the window and not be able to plan when to go to the bedroom. So testing at least once in the morning and once in the evening will give you a better chance to catch your surge and plan your bedroom time.
If you prefer bypassing this information and hitting the bedroom every day for 20 days straight, you might be having a lot of fun, but the studies aren’t clear on whether this works. They show that daily ejaculations reduce the potency of your man’s sperm in terms of volume and sperm concentration, but they do not affect the motility of the sperm, and may possibly improve it.2 This was proved in a study by Dr. David Greening of the Australian clinic Sydney IVF, where he also suggests that when a man releases sperm daily he’s reducing the time the sperm is “hanging out” in the body and thus reducing chances for it to sit too long and become damaged. In his study of 118 men who had higher than normal sperm DNA damage, after ejaculating for seven days in a row, the percentage of sperm DNA damage dropped 12 percent in 96 of the men. This meant that 81 percent of the group improved their sperm DNA damage by 12 percent. This is enough to move a man from poor or fair into a viable or good range.
No matter how you decide to track your cycle, try to have fun and don’t let the rigidity of dates and numbers get in the way of spontaneity. Sometimes a strong desire will steer the body into the right window. Keep things playful and relaxed. Stress caused by tracking ovulation can be just as hard on the body as stress from not getting pregnant. Remember to have fun, and to trust in the process and in something greater than yourself. Know you are doing your best, stay stress-free with an open heart, and keep the faith that if something is meant to happen, it will.
LET’S TALK ABOUT LOVE
When it comes down to it, having a baby should be all about love. Taking a step back to focus on love—on the feeling of loving your partner or spouse so much that you want to create new life, or, if you don’t have a partner, focusing on calling this new soul whom you will love unconditionally—changes everything. It reminds you this journey is about so much more than tests and temperatures, cycles and societal pressures. It’s nurturing the love you and your partner have and creating room to expand that love for your baby.
Take a little time to evaluate your life and your relationships. Meditate and journal about your health, your ability to take care of yourself, and what you really want for your career and family. And be willing to honestly evaluate the intimacy between you and your partner and choose to invest in that rather than baby chasing. Because the truth is, conception often comes out of deep love and connection and uniting as one.
Incorporate as much of the information you learn here into your diet and life. Shift to a positive mindset away from fear, open your heart, and let the rest of life happen as it will. You will have so much more peace in this process when you realize that you are not alone and you don’t have to do it all by yourself. Release guilt, shame, and fear and replace them with positive emotions. Together, we’ll see what happens and we’ll be rooting for you along the way.
LOOKING AHEAD
Over the following chapters, we’re going to introduce you to a whole new way of thinking about food, your health, your body, and your baby. Starting with how to prepare your body to conceive and taking you all the way through caring for yourself after you have the baby, we hope this book will be your trusted guide for the entire exciting journey of the five trimesters.
Whether you are already pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or just thinking about getting pregnant, we encourage you to read the following chapter about preconception. It lays the foundation for your nutrition and is jam-packed with tricks for upgrading your food to rock-star health status.
Chapter 2 will speak directly to anyone suffering with infertility. The information and advice explains how to gently bring your body’s natural health and ability to conceive back into balance. Of course, even if you’re not struggling with infertility, this information will result in more vibrant health, so it’s great advice for all readers.
Most women struggling with infertility tend to turn to Western medicine approaches such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) and intrauterine insemination (IUI). There are plenty of other sources of information for these invasive procedures, from books to medical experts. But these options are not the only solution for infertility.
The truth is, myriad factors can complicate the process of conception, particularly after age thirty-five. Whatever your unaddressed “weak link” (digestion, liver, hormones) was in your twenties could now be magnified in your thirties. Issues from gastrointestinal problems, such as leaky gut, where the gut wall-barrier (lining of the small intestine) isn’t working properly, to genetic mutations, such as a defect in the MTHFR gene, which affects the body’s detoxification pathways and ability to process folate, a key nutrient that prevents miscarriages, to emotional roadblocks can affect a woman’s fertility.
So instead of discussing various invasive procedures, we will focus on achieving and maintaining vibrant health and well-being during the entire journey of creating and carrying life at any age. If you are choosing to undergo or are undergoing IUI, IVF, or the like, you can still do so; this book will only help you that much more: You still want to have a healthy body to increase the possibility of success.
And remember that you are not in this alone: Get Dad on board, too. The quality of his food and supplements equals the quality and potency of his sperm. We like to tell dads they are building super sperm by cleaning up their diet. (See Chapter 10: Becoming a Super Dad, for more details and ways to motivate him to happily join the journey to health.)
So pour a cup of tea and let’s really talk about comprehensively assessing your health as you prepare to make your super baby.