Offering Loving Kindness to those we care about can be a stand-alone sitting practice or it can form part of a longer practice. It can also be done informally in any quiet space where it is possible to sit and reflect undisturbed.
Sit and assume a comfortable posture, perhaps taking a few moments to tune in to the breath and allowing yourself to settle.
Bring to mind someone you care about—it may be a partner, a parent, a sibling, a child, or a friend, or even a much-loved pet or animal. Imagine this person or animal and, holding them in your mind’s eye, offer them your love and good wishes by silently repeating:
(Remember that it is fine to change the phrases if you wish.)
Repeat each phrase slowly and let it resonate, like a pebble falling down a well…
Now, imagine yourself standing next to the person or the animal, perhaps holding hands with the person or placing your hand on the animal if that feels right to you, and repeating silently:
Then, call to mind someone else you care about, and bring them into your circle and go through the same process.
Continue in this way for as long as you would like to, adding people to your circle and always remembering to include yourself. If you wish, you can end by including all beings.
Notice, too, any thoughts that might arise about the choices you make, monitoring how they resonate in the body, and your emotions. If there is any feeling of contraction or tightening, just notice and acknowledge its presence and remember that you always have a choice of including someone or not.
This is your practice. As you become more experienced and if you wish, you can move on to the Loving Kindness practice that is specifically aimed at people who irritate us (see Those Who Irritate Us), but it is always best to begin with yourself and those you care about.
Many people find it a struggle to offer Loving Kindness to themselves and one way of getting around this is to include yourself when wishing a group of people well, in particular those we care about. “May we be happy” in the context of friends and family often feels appropriate in a way that “May I be happy” does not. By relaxing around the idea of offering Loving Kindness to ourselves within a group, it becomes easier to do Loving Kindness specifically for ourselves (see Offering Kindness to Yourself).