First published 1732. This piece, which appeared in London under its alternative title, ‘City Cries, Instrumental and Vocal’, is distinctively Swiftian in its use of popular satiric modes, fascination with street language and aspects of ‘low’ life, scatological humour, frequent wordplay, and employment of mock-allegorical interpretation. The satirized speaker is a rabid Whig champion of the Glorious Revolution and a hater of Tories, whom he automatically equates with Jacobites. The atmosphere of political paranoia and persecution that this piece at once reproduces and exposes is depicted more seriously in A Letter from Dr. Swift to Mr. Pope.
1. what the French call the Police… complained of: Dublin lacked a professional police force at this time. Policing responsibilities were localized, falling mainly to unpaid constables and a cadre of (usually elderly) watchmen who obtained their jobs through the charity of parishes. By contrast, policing activities in Paris were far more centralized, overseen by a lieutenant of police with jurisdiction over the entire capital.
2. absit invidia: ‘Let ill will be absent’ (Latin).
3. certain Persons… Necessaries of Life: The depiction of city ‘cryers’, or wandering hawkers of goods, was a staple of the period’s broadsides and prints. Cf. Swift’s verses on ‘Women who cry Apples’ and his complaint in the JS of ‘a restless dog crying Cabbages and Savoys [who] plagues me every morning…’
4. a Sound wholly inarticulate… so little Information: Cf. Spectator, No. 251, on the London Criers’ ‘idle Accomplishment which they all of them aim at, of Crying so as not to be understood’.
5. Sweet-hearts: ‘A Sort of Sugar-Cakes in the Shape of Hearts’ (note in F ’35).
6. our Troops… foreign Service: Refers to the many Irishmen who went abroad to join other national armies, such as the French or Spanish forces allied to the Pretender.
7. Toupees… at present: ‘A new Name for a modern Periwig, and for its Owner; now in Fashion. Dec. 1, 1733’ (note in F ’35). Swift satirizes their impudence and foppishness in ‘The Footmen’s Petition’ (1732).
8. my Friend the Physician… Dissertation: The minute inspection of excrement was a common medical practice of the day, though this physician would also fit in well with the scientists of the Academy of Lagado (GT) and calls to mind the speaker of A Tale of a Tub, continually promising future publications.
9. a Crow, a Swan… Posture: Refers to the many public houses in Dublin named after animals, including the White Hart, the Swan, the Bull’s Head in Fishamble Street, and the Eagle Tavern, a likely satiric target because it appealed to men of fashion and was the meeting place for the staunchly Whig Hanover Club.
10. The Rules of Hieroglyph… Punch: The fixed or recognized systems of meaning according to which signs or emblems are interpreted… A beverage introduced into England from India in the seventeenth century.
11. the Pretender’s Wife… of German birth: Princess Maria Clementina Sobieska (1702–35), granddaughter of John III, King of Poland, who married James Francis Edward Stuart in 1719.
12. the Cock… Enemy: The cock was a symbol of France from the fifteenth century onwards, based on a conflation of the two meanings of the Latin word ‘gallus’, as both a rooster and a Gaul.
13. the Spaniard… the Indies to himself: British merchants attempting to carry on trade with the Spanish American colonies were continually interfered with, at times openly attacked, by the Spanish coastguard.
14. the Bear to be chained… Death: Bear-baiting was a popular eighteenth-century entertainment in which dogs were set upon chained bears and encouraged to fight to the death.
15. The chief Ingredients… Popish Countries: Brandy was obtained through Ireland’s clandestine trade with France; fruit was imported from Italy with the help of an Irish merchant who had settled in Naples.
16. King William, of ever glorious and immortal Memory: A cant phrase used by Whigs; frequently mocked by Swift.
17. squeezed the Orange… to Death: ‘To squeeze an orange’ means, figuratively, ‘to take all that is profitable out of something’. The phrase was also a Jacobite toast during William’s reign.
18. Limus… liquescit, &c.: ‘[As by the kindling of the self-same fire], Harder this clay, this wax the softer grows’: Virgil, Eclogue 8.80.
19. As I knock down… our Enemies: See Livy, 1.24.
20. to drink CONFUSION … Detractors: An ironic reminder of a practice followed by Whigs, of ‘drinking confusion’ to their foes—and ‘charged upon [them]’ by Swift himself; see n. 10 to Examiner, No. 20.
21. in the worst of Times: ‘A Cant-Word used by Whigs for the four last Years of Queen Anne’s Reign, during the Earl of Oxford’s Ministry; whose Character here is an exact Reverse in every Particular’ (note in F ’35).
22. De mortuis nil nisi bonum: ‘[Speak] nothing but good of the dead’ (Latin). Cited in ODEP as a proverb originating in Greek with Chilon’s Diogenes Laertes.
23. the Duke of Savoy… curious Savoys: Victor Amadeus II (1666–1732), a Protestant ally of England in the War of the Spanish Succession. Swift reduces his name to a street-cry, in which a ‘Savoy’ is a cabbage (see n. 3, above).
24. sell Flanders to France: A common Whig accusation against the Tories for their peace initiatives toward France; also punning on Flanders lace, at times called simply ‘Flanders’.
25. universal Fisher of Men: See Matthew 4: 18–19 and Mark 1: 16–17.
26. some Popish Plot at the Bottom: Evokes associations with the notorious Popish Plot contrived and ‘exposed’ in 1678 by Titus Oates, whose false testimony was used to ‘prove’ a conspiracy by English Catholics to murder Charles II and restore Catholicism as the state religion.
27. Justice Peyton: ‘A famous Whig Justice in those Times’ (note in F ’35).
28. the famous Mr. Swan… in England: Described as ‘the famous Punnster’ in Spectator, No. 61 and as the ‘honest Mr Swan’ who makes better puns than Horace in Dryden’s Discourse Concerning… Satire. He lost his fellowship at Cambridge because he refused to take the oath of allegiance to William and Mary.
29. Sir Harry Dutton-Colt… 10th of June, 1701: Sir Henry Dutton Colt was a minor Whig politician, mentioned also in Letter V of JS. The Smyrna Coffee-House was a favourite meeting-place of the Scriblerians, on the north side of Pall Mall; during the reign of George I it became a Jacobite resort. June 10 was the birthday of the Old Pretender, marked by Jacobites with a variety of street and public-house celebrations.
30. famous Dr. Wallis… Times: John Wallis (1616–1703), Savilian Professor of Geometry at Oxford and Royal Society founding member, decoded Royalist cyphers for the parliamentary side during the Civil War.
31. latet anguis in Herba: ‘A snake lurks in the grass’: Virgil, Eclogue, 3.93; also proverbial (ODEP).
32. Government: A final paragraph added here to the London edition claims that the frequent signs of ‘King George the Second’ insinuate that George is ‘only the second King’ while ‘the Pretender is the first King’.
Swift to Sir Andrew Fountaine
First printed in 1910. This letter of 30 July 1733 to Swift’s old London dining companion demonstrates the seriousness with which Swift took his role as patron and promoter of the careers of those he deemed worthy, and points to the presence of women writers in his literary circle, exemplified here by the Dublin-based poet Mary Barber (BD). Among the many qualities he found commendable in her was that ‘she is ready to take Advice, and submit to have her Verses corrected, by those who are generally allow’d to be the best Judges’—not least among these, Swift himself. Williams notes that Fountaine did subscribe to Barber’s Poems, but for one copy only. Copy-text: Pierpont Morgan autograph copy (MA 457).
1. longo intervallo: ‘By a long distance’ (Latin).
2. to print her poetical works… Success: The volume, entitled Poems on Several Occasions, was printed in quarto in 1734 by Samuel Richardson, who was also a subscriber.
3. your old friendship… time and absence: Since the days of their intimacy in London, Swift and Fountaine had drifted apart due both to physical separation and to Fountaine’s growing ties to the Hanoverian court.
4. My new Lord Pembroke… Lord Herbert: The reference is to Henry Herbert (1693–1750), son of the recently deceased Thomas Herbert, 8th Earl of Pembroke, with whom Swift had been on friendly terms in London when he was still circulating primarily in Whig circles.
Swift to John Arbuthnot
First published 1854. This letter, addressed to Swift’s old London friend Arbuthnot (BD) was left undated by Swift but was received and postmarked in London on 22 November 1734. The letter reveals Swift’s obsessive concern with the minute details of his domestic economy, along with his penchant for exaggerating the dire state of his personal finances—in part as a way of dramatizing the disastrous consequences of England’s ‘oppressions’. The letter is particularly significant for the insight it provides into Swift’s daily activities and routines in Dublin during the final decade of his life, which made him consider Ireland rather than England as ‘home’. Copy-text: Hunter Baillie autograph copy.
1. that blessed Queen your Mistress… all your Friends: Refers to Arbuthnot’s position as physician-in-ordinary to Queen Anne and his consequent influential connections at Court.
2. ill account of your Health: Arbuthnot had described being ‘so reduced by a dropsy and an Asthma that I could neither sleep breath eat nor move’. He died on 27 Feb. 1735, from what was called an ‘inflammation of his bowels’.
3. the Bishop of Marseilles… still alive: François Xavier de Belsunce (1671–1755) gained a near-legendary reputation during the great plague of 1720 in Marseilles by disregarding the danger to his own person in order to stay behind and care for the sick and dying; he appears in Pope’s Essay on Man (IV.106–7).
4. High-gate: Arbuthnot’s stay was actually in Hampstead, then a fashionable spa north of London proper.
5. My Ld Bo——: That is, Lord Bolingbroke, who at this time was still residing in England, at his country estate, Dawley Farm; within a year he would return to France.
6. the two Deans… at their Peril: Refers to the Deans of St Patrick’s cathedral and of Christ Church cathedral, the latter of whom was then Charles Cobbe (1686–1765), also Bishop of Kildare.
7. your Brother Robert… Paris: Robert Arbuthnot (1669–1741) was a noted Jacobite who established a successful banking business in Paris and became the Old Pretender’s agent there.
Directions to Servants
First published 1745. Published posthumously both in Dublin and London, this piece was put together over a lengthy period of time— according to the title page, ‘above twenty-eight Years’. Although several of its sections seem more or less complete, others are little more than fragments. Faulkner viewed the Directions as a set of ironical instructions to help gentlemen ‘preserve their Estates and Families from Ruin’ as a result of ‘the many Vices and Faults’ of the servant class, but his view fails to take into account the complexity of Swift’s attitude toward servants, at least one of whom—his own servant, Alexander McGee—he thought well enough of to commemorate with a tablet in St Patrick’s cathedral. A rich oral tradition recounting stories about ‘Paddy and the Dane’ attests to Swift’s semi-affectionate, bantering relationship with members of the servant class, who provided him with personae for several of his works. Copy-text: F ’45.
Rules that Concern all Servants in General
1. put your Master or Lady off their Mettle: Daunt their courage.
2. Barbados: A common destination for those seeking employment abroad since the island’s sugar plantations required a large supply of labour, both slave and indentured; see A Modest Proposal, n. 2.
3. Some Nastiness… the Smell went off: The contents of chamber pots were regularly emptied onto the streets of Dublin and London from the upper windows of houses.
4. pressed for the Sea-service: Forced to serve in the navy, often (especially during times of war) by being physically seized and carried off by a ‘press-gang’ acting under the authority of an officer.
5. short and long Cuts: Refers to drawing lots, usually with sticks or straws of unequal length, to determine who will perform a particular act.
Directions to the Footman
6. a Pattern of Dress… to you: In ‘The Footmen’s Petition’, men of fashion are accused of imitating footmen ‘to render themselves more amiable to the Ladies’; see An Examination of Certain Abuses, Corruptions, and Enormities, in the City of Dublin, n. 7.
7. Boucher… the Duke of B—g—m: The noted gambler Thomas Boucher (d. 1708) was rumored to have been a footman before he amassed a fortune and built a mansion on land he acquired in Twickenham… John Sheffield, Earl of Mulgrave and 1st Duke of Buckingham (1648–1721).
8. translated red-heeled Shoes… Ruffles: Fashionable but shabby attire (‘translated’ as in borrowed or previously owned); in Tatler, No. 67, the fop Didapper is reprimanded for ‘wearing red-heel’d Shoes’.
9. go upon the Road… left you: The advice here is to become a highwayman.
10. Get a Speech to be written… Newgate: See Swift’s parody of such a speech in The Last Speech and Dying Words of Ebenezor Elliston.
11. Fall on your Knees… Farewel: Cf. Tom Clinch’s very different behaviour on his way to the gallows in Swift’s poem ‘Clever Tom Clinch going to be hanged’.
12. The Surgeon… Limb of you: That is, the footman will be spared the fate of many indigent criminals, of having their corpses seized by surgeons after their execution for use in anatomy lessons or medical experiments; depicted in grisly detail in plate IV of Hogarth’s The Four Stages of Cruelty (1751).
A Compleat Collection of Genteel and Ingenious Conversation
First published 1738. Also known as Polite Conversation, this work, consisting of an Introduction followed by three conversations, was written over the course of several decades. The Introduction’s persona and satiric butt, Simon Wagstaff, calls to mind Isaac Bickerstaff of the satires on Partridge, and may well have been created at around the same time. The work reflects Swift’s lifelong concern with the uses and abuses of language. In its satiric exposure of the banalities and meaningless jargon of fashionable society, it evokes The Tatler, No. CCXXX. The work is not merely censorious, however, for it also reveals Swift’s fascination with dialectal expression and forms of speech rooted in folk and oral tradition. That Swift may have made up some of these ‘proverbs’ himself points to the irony at the heart of this satire, which mocks verbal triteness via witty invention, making its audience laugh at the empty social exchanges while admiring the ingenuity used to convey them.
Second Conversation
The scene is a dinner party at the home of Lord and Lady Smart, near St James’s Park. This Conversation parodies the conventions of Restoration comedy: its use of names that reflect specific mental or character traits, the contrast between town and country, and the frequent use of wordplay and sexual innuendo. Notes indicate proverb collection followed by date of earliest-cited entry. Copy-text: F ’38, collated with London edition of 1738.
1. we have had our Hands in Mortar: Apperson, 1639; means ‘We have been dabbling in building.’
2. he that hangs Tom… in the Halter: ‘[M]ore knave than fool; intelligent rather than stupid. A left-handed compliment of the 17th–18th centuries’ (Partridge).
3. if it were only to try: That is, if only as an experiment to see which one he is.
4. I’ll see your Nose Cheese first, and the Dogs eating it: Kelly’s gloss: ‘A disdainful rejecting of an unworthy proposal’ (with ‘my self the first bite’ as the second clause).
5. make a flaming Figure in a Country Church: Ray’s gloss: ‘To make a fair show in a countrey Church’; Kelly’s gloss: ‘A jest upon a girl when we see her fond of a new suit.’
6. my Belly began to cry Cupboard… your Belly thinks your Throat’s cut: Proverbial sayings expressing hunger (Ray; Apperson, 1540).
7. Oysters… Grace to them: ODEP, 1611: ‘Oysters are ungodly, because they are eaten without grace; uncharitable, because they leave nought but shells; and unprofitable, because they must swim in wine.’
8. that’s as well said, as if I had said it my self: ‘[E]ither a catchphrase that has endured or, more probably, a Swiftian felicity that has become a famous quotation’ (Partridge).
9. why is it called a Sirloyn… Knighted it: Sirloin’s status as the upper and choicer portion of a loin of beef, combined with its French etymological meaning (‘above the loin’) and the Anglicized ‘sir loin’, gave rise to numerous stories over the years about its being knighted by various monarchs (Brewer/Evans).
10. Eating and Scratching wants but a Beginning: That is, once you start doing either it is difficult to stop.
11. two Hands… in a Purse: Apperson, 1605; Kelly’s gloss: ‘I am pleas’d when People eat with me, but not when they invade my Property.’
12. the more, the merrier… the fewer, the better Cheer: ODEP, 1530; Kelly’s gloss, ‘The first, because good Company exhilarate one another. The second, because there will be the more [food] to each.’
13. kiss the Hare’s Foot: ODEP, 1598; means ‘to be late’; in this case, too late to get anything to eat.
14. fast by the Teeth… we are killing that, that would kill us: Deeply engaged in the act of eating… Refers to the fact that they are eating animal flesh.
15. You are come in Pudden-Time… you keep Court-Hours I see: Apperson, 1546; means ‘to come at the right moment’… Refers to the fact that people dined much later in town (3 p.m.) than in the country.
16. little London stands… left it last: Playing upon the line, ‘Stands Scotland where it did?’ from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, which ‘has become a jocular catch-phrase’ (Partridge).
17. London is gone… since you saw it: That is, London has been expanding far beyond its former boundaries. Hanover Square was laid out in 1717; Defoe’s Tour Through the Whole Island of Great Britain records ‘all the new buildings by, and beyond, Hannover Square’, which have greatly extended the city of London.
18. Here’s no Salt; Cuckolds… Meat: Tilley, 1590: ‘Service without salt, by the rite of England, is a Cuckholds fee, if he claime it.’
19. I always wash my Kettle before I put the Meat in it: ‘I always put liquor into my stomach before I eat.’
20. one Tongue’s enough for a Woman: ODEP, 1659; Ray’s gloss: ‘This reason they give who would not have women learn languages’; ODEP cites Milton’s application of this proverb to his daughters.
21. what if any of the Ladies should long?: No doubt a sly hint at a food craving associated with pregnancy.
22. a Body’s Stomach… the Bottom of it, I suppose: Refers to Neverout’s insatiable appetite.
23. you have stolen a Wedding, it seems: That is, stolen it from us (since it was performed in private).
24. she’s a little Evil: A play on the old proverb, ‘Women are necessary evils’; ODEP, 1547.
25. Cucumbers are cold in the third Degree: Related to the proverbial saying, ‘cool as a cucumber’, which appeared in print in 1615 in the form, ‘Young Maids were as cold as Cowcumbers’ (Tilley).
26. the Proof of the Pudden, is in the eating: Apperson traces this saying to Ovid, Heroides, 2, in the phrase, ‘exitus acta probat’ (‘the outcome proves the deed’), and dates its earliest English variant at c. 1300.
27. I always love to walk with a Horse in my Hand… you must kiss a Parson’s Wife: Presumably in case one’s legs give out; Kelly’s gloss: ‘It is good when a man of any art, trade, or profession, has an estate to support him, if these should fail’… Cf. Ray: ‘He that would have good luck in horses, must kiss the Parson’s wife.’ A bawdier version appears in Ben Jonson (1621): ‘Youle ha’ good lucke to horseflesh, o’ my life, you plow’d so late with the Vicar’s wife’ (Tilley).
28. Hartfordshire Kindness: Ray’s gloss: ‘That is, when one drinks back again to the party who immediately before drank to him:… commonly used only by way of derision of those who, through forgetfulness or mistake, drink to them again whom they pledged immediately.’
29. don’t make a Bridge of my Nose: Ray’s gloss: ‘To intercept one’s trencher, cup, or the like; or to pretend to do kindnesses to one, and then pass him by, and do it to another; to lay hold upon and serve himself of that which was intended for another.’
30. beat up your Quarters: Visit without prior warning or ceremony; also a military term meaning to make an unexpected attack on an enemy in camp (Brewer/Evans).
31. born within the Sound of Bow Bell… London: Born within hearing distance of the steeple of Bow Church in Cheapside, hence a true Cockney.
32. sick Dish… Sup, Simon: A ‘sick Dish’ is one eaten when one is not feeling well (ODEP, 1598)… ‘Sup, Simon’ is ‘A common ironical recommendation to any one taking medicine or anything nauseous or disagreeable’ (Apperson).
33. you are more Sawce than Pig: ‘You are more impudent (saucier) than gluttonous’; ODEP, 1624.
34. Pepper-Proof: Perhaps a pun on ‘pepper’ as meaning ‘to inflict with venereal disease’ (OED).
35. this Hare…’tis melancholy Meat: ODEP, 1558; cf. Burton’s Anatomy of Melancholy (1621): ‘Hare, a black meat, melancholy, and hard of digestion.’
36. he was an ingenious Man that first found out eating and drinking: And Swift may well have been the ‘ingenious man’ who originated this proverb—this is the only example cited in ODEP.
37. made a Purchase: That is, of land.
38. knows how to butter his Bread: ODEP, 1546 (‘knows on which side his bread is buttered’); a variant of ‘his bread is buttered on both sides’; Ray’s gloss: ‘He hath a plentiful estate: he is fat and full.’
39. it became him, as a Saddle becomes a Sow: Apperson, 1546; cf. Brome citation (1660): ‘But the title of knight, on the back of a knave, Is like a saddle upon a sow.’
40. it is a Limb of Lot’s Wife: That is, it is very salty (see Genesis 19: 26).
41. the falling out of Lovers, you know: ‘Is the renewing of love’; ODEP, 1520 (earliest English example); also classical source in Terence’s comedy Andria. Later variants substitute ‘friends’ for ‘lovers’.
42. that shiddle come sh——’s the Beginning of Love: A line from ‘A Ballad of Old Proverbs’ (1719): ‘What tho’ my Love as white as a Dove is,/Yet you would say, if you knew all within;/Shitten come Shite the beginning of Love is,/And for her Favour I care not a Pin.’ Samuel Pepys was so pleased with this ballad when he first heard it sung in a tavern (1661) that he obtained a copy of it for his own personal use.
43. marry come up, my dirty Couzin: Ray’s gloss: ‘Spoken by way of taunt, to those who boast themselves of their birth, parentage, or the like.’ Kelly offers a somewhat different explanation: ‘A Reprimand to mean People, when they propose a Thing that seems too saucy.’
44. I’m very dry… Then you are the better to burn, and the worse to fry: An example of a ‘crambo’, a game in which one player gives a word or line of verse to which each of the others has to find a rhyme. There are other ‘crambos’ interspersed throughout these dialogues.
45. you have a good Stroak with you: ‘You contribute much to the dinner’, i.e. ‘You’re quite an eater.’
46. I wish it were in your Guts, for my Share: ‘I’d rather my share (of the liquor) were inside you’—a less polite version of, ‘You’re welcome to my share.’
47. you are a true English-Man… when you are well: Ray; Tilley, 1616; ‘A right Englishman, he cannot let a thing alone when ’tis well’ (1671).
48. Kitchen Physick is the best Physick: ‘Home remedies are superior to any that can be bought’; ODEP, 1542.
49. the best Doctors… Doctor Merryman: Tilley, 1558; Ray’s gloss: ‘nothing but that distich of the Schola Salernitana translated’— i.e. the famous book on health written in the twelfth or thirteenth century at the school of Salerno and translated into English by Sir John Harington (1608).
50. Goose upon Goose is false Heraldry: A play on ‘Metal upon metal is false heraldry’ (Tilley, 1643); cf. Swift’s ‘A Serious Poem upon William Wood’ (1724): ‘But soft says the Herald, I cannot agree;/For Metal on Metal is false Heraldry:/Why that may be true, yet Wood upon Wood,/I’ll maintain with my Life, is Heraldry Good.’
51. Brandy is Latin for a Goose; and Tace is Latin for a Candle: The first statement is ‘An apology for drinking a dram after eating goose’ (Tilley, 1588); the second, ‘a hint to keep silent about something’ (ODEP, 1676). (‘Tace’ is Latin for ‘Be silent’.) Tilley notes that in both these sayings ‘Latin’ means ‘slang’.
52. the Devil made Askers: This is the sole example cited in ODEP and Apperson. The sense of it is, ‘It’s the Devil’s work to ask unnecessary questions.’
53. wrapt in your Mother’s Smock: Born lucky; ‘probably connected with the popular idea of luck attaching to a caul’ (Apperson); often linked to the idea of being a favourite of the opposite sex (see Tilley, 1668).
54. your Maidenhead hangs in your Light: This is the first example of the saying in ODEP. Partridge interprets it as meaning, ‘virginity is to your disadvantage’.
55. Parson Palmer… used to preach over his Liquor: According to Grose’s Classical Dictionary (1785), ‘a jocular name or term of reproach, to one who stops the circulation of the glass by preaching over his liquor, as it is said was done by a parson of that name, whose cellar was under his pulpit’ (Apperson).
56. the Poet is damn’d: That is, the dramatist was booed; the play was received poorly.
57. too good, is stark nought: Swift’s is the sole example in ODEP and Apperson; the meaning is, ‘too good is no good’. Possibly meant as a play on the proverb, ‘Good enough is never ought’, as recorded in Ray.
58. ’Tis plaguy small: It is too much like small-beer; it is overly weak.
59. meer Whip-belly-vengeance: ‘Belly-vengeance’ was a dialect term for sour ale or wine (OED). Partridge links both this term and its variant, ‘pinch-gut vengeance’, to ‘rot-gut’, recorded as early as 1633.
60. for fear they should p–ss behind the Door: ‘A rustic gesture of contempt for the niggardly’ (Partridge).
61. take a Hair of the same Dog… one should drink as much after an Egg, as after an Ox: Apperson, 1546: ‘a hair of the dog that bit you’… ODEP, 1608 (variant form); Ray’s version is the same as Swift’s.
62. put a Churl upon a Gentleman: Tilley, 1586: ‘Drinke not beer after wine.’ Kelly’s gloss: ‘Spoken when we offer ale to them that have been drinking claret.’ Class snobbery is evident in this distinction.
63. one may ride to Rumford… so blunt: This passage is the earliest example in both ODEP and Apperson; note in ODEP: ‘Rom-ford, in Essex, [is] famous for breeches-making.’
64. Cheese digests every Thing but itself: Tilley, 1566; Ray’s gloss: ‘a translation of that old rhyming Latin verse, Caseus est nequàm quia digerit omnia sequàm.’
65. weily brosten… in Lancashire: Dialectal form for ‘well-nigh burst’, with the first word a variant or erroneous spelling for ‘welly’ (OED).
66. ’tis merry in Hall, when Beards wag all: ODEP, c. 1300.
67. I’ll hold fifty Pound, Miss won’t cut the Cheese: That is, ‘I’ll wager…’ Partridge conjectures that this might be a reference to the saying, ‘cheese won’t choke her’, which implies physical intimacy with men.
68. fret like Gum Taffety: Tilley, 1604; ‘Velvet and taffeta, being stiffened with gum, quickly rub and fret themselves out.’
69. a rare Soldier… won’t hurt you: A sturgeon has five rows of bony plates resembling armour.
70. a Cup in the Pate, is a Mile in the Gate… a Spur in the Head, is worth two in the Heel: Tilley, 1656… Cf. Kelly’s gloss: ‘A Man when drunk rides hard; because… his Heels stick in his Horse’s side.’
71. thou art a mad Fellow to make a Priest of: ‘You are hardly the kind of person one would associate with such concerns of piety.’
72. you make a Chimney of your Mouth: This may well be the earliest printed form of our modern-day saying, ‘you smoke like a chimney’; it appears in neither ODEP nor Apperson.
73. the Corruption of Pipes, is the Generation of Stoppers: Tilley, 1576; a parody of the classical maxim, ‘the corruption of one thing is the generation of another’. Cf. Swift’s Mechanical Operation of the Spirit (1704): ‘the corruption of the senses is the generation of the spirit.’ Partridge’s gloss: ‘The corruption exercised by… tobacco has led to the making of pipe-stoppers (small devices for pressing the tobacco in one’s pipe).’
74. not ’till the Ducks… Children say: A rural saying that means ‘not until the (late) Spring’ (Partridge).
75. rain Cats and Dogs: Tilley, 1628; see Swift’s ‘Description of a City Shower’: ‘Drown’d Puppies, stinking Sprats, all drench’d in Mud,/Dead Cats and Turnip-Tops come tumbling down the Flood.’
76. a Man may love… the Ridge: Ray’s gloss: ‘A man may love his children and relations well, and yet not cocker [coddle] them, or be foolishly fond and indulgent to them.’
77. at Hogsnorton… the Organs: Ray’s gloss: ‘This is a village properly called Hoch-Norton, whose inhabitants… were so rustical in their behaviour, that boorish and clownish people are said to be born there.’ Apperson offers a different explanation: ‘… this saying refers to the village of Hock-Norton, Leicestershire, where the organist once upon a time was named Piggs!’
78. a queer old Duke: ‘The unit is queer duke, a decayed gentleman: a late 17th–18th-century term on the borderline of underworld cant and raffish fashionable slang’ (Partridge). No doubt our term ‘queer duck’ derives from this earlier one; see Tilley, 1523: ‘Like a Duke? Like a duck.’
79. a Man’s a Man… a Hose on his Head: ODEP, c. 1386 (from The Canterbury Tales); cf. 1708 entry: ‘We may sometimes chance to meet with a Diogenes in rags.’
80. You can’t make a Silk Purse out of a Sow’s Ear: A Scottish proverb though with English variants (Ray).
81. the Devil… and Company too: Apperson, 1704: a ‘laudable adage of the sage mobility’ (i.e. the mob).
82. against you are disposed: ‘Since you are inclined to merriment.’
83. Fire and Water are… bad Masters: Ray; ODEP, 1562.
84. What’s Sawce for a Goose, is Sawce for a Gander: With a classical prototype in Varro (Apperson), this is listed in Ray as ‘a woman’s proverb’; but Swift himself uses it in JS.
85. if I live… neither go to Heaven nor Hell with you: ‘As I live, I shall never go anywhere with you’; in a more general sense, ‘I don’t want to have anything to do with you.’
86. mauming and gauming a Body so: That is, pawing. This is the only example noted in the OED definition; ‘mauming’ (unlike ‘gauming’) has no independent meaning and is probably only being used for the rhyme.
87. gape for Preferment… into my Mouth: Variants include ‘You may gape long enough ere a bird fall in your mouth’ (ODEP, 1540); Kelly’s gloss: ‘Spoken to those who expect a thing without reason.’ It is tempting to see a relevance here to Swift’s own fruitless hopes for preferment.
88. Time to go to our Tea: The Third Conversation records the ladies’ banter at the tea table.
89. Wine is the best Liquor to wash Glasses in: This is the sole example cited by ODEP. Perhaps Swift thought it would be most fitting to end this dialogue with a newly coined ‘proverb’ of his own.