Around 1260, ‘at Tewkesbury, a Jew fell into a privy, and out of respect for his sabbath, on which day the accident happened, would not allow himself to be extricated till the following day, which was Sunday; and in consequence he died, being suffocated by the foul stench.’
In early imperial times, a very nasty Roman gentleman pushed his long-suffering slaves too far, and they decided to murder him in the bathhouse by shoving the sponge-stick (used for wiping the backside) down his throat — presumably to leave no trace of cause of death, as well as to really stick it to him. When he stopped kicking, they threw him down on the burning-hot floor to make sure he was dead. Unfortunately he recovered consciousness and lived long enough to see them suitably punished .…
In 1326 in England, Richard the Raker was drowned — he entered a privy, seated himself, and the rotten planks of the floor gave way, letting him fall into the deep cesspool filth. There his body was found by a fellow raker.
Another fatal accident occurred in Bread Street Ward: in the courtyard of a house, two men had dug a privy well to the depth of five casks — they had cribbed it with a pile of five casks in which new wine had been kept. As one of the boards from the end of one of the casks had fallen to the bottom of the well, one of the men put down a ladder and began to descend, but was overcome by fumes (carbon dioxide) from the wine-soaked staves, and dropped unconscious to the bottom. The other man descended to rescue him, but he too fell unconscious, and both were asphyxiated!
7
The Roman emperor Caracalla (AD 211–170) was suffering from a stomach upset on a journey, and ordered a halt while he went to relieve himself — only a single attendant went with him. The rest of the bodyguard turned their backs in respect for the emperor’s privacy. One officer of the bodyguard killed him with a single sword thrust as he was lowering his breeches (7).
The Roman emperor Elagabalus (AD 204–22) was hacked to death by the praetorian guard as he sat on the lavatory, and his body thrown down a sewer. In life, he used to like to surprise guests with rare dishes — sometimes he would serve exact replicas of the food he was eating, but in wood, ivory, pottery or stone. The guests were expected to continue eating as though nothing had happened.
8
In England, the Saxon king Edmund Ironside was assassinated while seated on a wooden lavatory — someone hiding in the pit below thrust his longsword up his backside into his bowels, killing him instantly (8).
9
Sir Arthur Aston, a Royalist commander during the English Civil war, was beaten to death with his own wooden leg by Cromwell’s men (9).
