Main Points:

Life was so rich within the womb. Rich in noises and sounds. But mostly there was movement. Continuous movement. When the mother sits, stands, walks, turns—movement, movement, movement.

Frederick Leboyer, Loving Hands

Every night, Ellyn and Harold put their son Zachary in his stroller and rolled him repeatedly over an elevated threshold on the floor. Each time, Zack got jolted like a car racing over a speed bump. Harold sometimes bounced Zach this way one hundred times in a row to get him to stop crying. And if his son was still fussing after that—he did it one hundred times more!

Zachary’s brother, Nathaniel, preferred another type of motion to snap him out of his yelping. Ellyn and Harold held him while “bopping” to the Rolling Stones. Ellyn said over four months they almost wore out their living-room carpeting from dancing Nathaniel around for hours each night!

Why Does Swinging Make a Baby So Happy?

When we think of the five senses—touch, hearing, vision, smell, taste—we often forget we have a powerful sixth sense. No, not ESP; I’m referring to our ancient and deeply satisfying sense of movement in space. This wonderful sense is exactly what gets stimulated when you sway side-to-side to settle your fussing infant (and it also explains why rocking chairs are such a favorite of grandparents).

Rhythmic movement, or what I call swinging, is a powerful tool for soothing our babies—and ourselves. Most of us can remember being lulled by the hypnotic motion of a porch swing, hammock, or train.

Why do these movements cause such profound relaxation? Swinging motions that mimic the jiggling your baby felt inside you turns on “motion sensors” in his ears, which then activate the calming reflex.

Once Upon a Time: How Parents Have Used Swinging in Other Times and Cultures

There was something so natural as well as pleasant in the wavy motion of the cradle … and so like what children had been used to before they were born.

Michael Underwood, Treatise on the Diseases of Children, 1789

Since the dawn of time, perceptive parents have recognized the wonderful effect movement has on babies. For our ancestors, soothing their infants with continuous motion was easy, because they spent all day long walking and working with their infants on their hips.

As every parent knows, it’s impossible to keep still while you’re holding a baby. You constantly shift your weight, pat your baby’s bottom, touch her head, and kiss her ears. Imagine how foreign the stillness of a bassinet must feel to your baby compared to the gentle strokes and movements she’s pampered with while she’s in your arms.

Of course, all moms have to put their babies down every once in a while. But in many cultures it’s dangerous to place a baby on the ground, so a mother will hand her infant to a relative or put her in a homemade moving device, like a cradle.

In Gynecology, one of the world’s oldest medical books, a 200 A.D. physician named Soranus instructed women on how to keep their babies healthy. Some tips from this “Dr. Spock” of ancient Rome have not stood the test of time, such as warning parents that carrying their son on their shoulders could injure his testicles and turn him into a eunuch! However, some of his advice has proved priceless, like his recommendation to jiggle babies by “balancing the crib upon diagonally opposed rocks” and teetering it back and forth. This idea inspired the invention of the cradle (a crib placed upon rockers instead of rocks), which rewards babies with an equally hypnotic, albeit much less jolting, motion.

In many countries today, babies are still kept in constant motion. Their bodies are bounced and wiggled all day while strapped to the backs of their mothers or sisters or family yak. Thai parents rock their babies in baskets fastened to the ceiling. Eastern European women swing their infants in blankets that they hold like a hammock. Iranian women sit on the floor, with their babies placed in the grooves between their outstretched legs, and pivot their heels side-to-side, swishing their tiny children like metronomes.

In the United States, however, parents have long been warned not to handle their babies too much. In the early 1900s, Dr. Emmett Holt, America’s leading pediatrician at that time, wrote in Care and Feeding of Children: “Babies less than six months old should never be played with at all. To avoid overstimulation, babies need peaceful and quiet surroundings.” He worried parents would jar their babies’ fragile nervous systems. By the 1920s, the question “to rock or not to rock” a baby was no longer open to discussion. Quite frankly, no one dared admit doing it anymore.

Babies adore infant carriers. Carried babies are nurtured by their parent’s rhythmic motion and calming warmth, scent, touch, and sound. In America in the 1970s, women carrying their babies in slings were considered counter-cultural oddities, but now, it’s odd for a mom not to “wear her baby”!

Of course, it goes without saying that one has to be gentle with babies. You must always hold and support your baby’s head when she’s in your arms or when you’re moving her from one place to another. But remember your baby was constantly bounced and jiggled inside your uterus as you walked, or hustled up and down stairs. Savvy mothers know that when their baby is fussy, vigorous tiny movements calm them much faster than slow, broad swinging.

Putting the Moves On: Using Motion to Calm Your Fussy Baby

When Ruby was in the middle of a scream-fest, Jean Marie would pick her four-week-old up, sit on the bed with her feet on the ground, and bounce up and down in quick, jerky little motions like a child on a pogo stick.

Babies love to bounce. Why else do we call our infants bouncing baby girls and boys? Over the centuries, parents have perfected countless innovative ways to jiggle their unhappy tots into tranquillity. Here are the Top Ten:

1. Baby slings and carriers

2. Dancing (with quick little moves up and down)

3. Infant swings

4. Rhythmic pats on the back or bottom

5. Hammocks

6. Rocking in a rocking chair

7. Car rides

8. Vibrating bouncy seats

9. Bouncing on an exercise ball

10. Brisk walks

A Bonus Eleventh Technique—
The Milk Shake

   This method may sound odd, but you’ll be amazed how well it works:

1. Sit your baby on your lap (facing to your left) and place your left hand under his chin like a chin strap. Lean him forward a little so his chin rests solidly in your hand.

2. Slip your right hand directly underneath his buttocks.

3. Lift him straight up into the air with your right hand; he’ll be leaning forward a tiny bit so his head will be cradled in your left hand a few inches in front of his body.

4. Now, with your right hand, bounce him with fast (two to three times a second) but tiny (one to two inches) up-and-down movements, like you’re making a milk shake.

The Milk Shake is also a great way to burp your baby—and build your biceps.

Swinging Rules: The Three Key Points to Successful Motion

Those who find that rhythmic rocking doesn’t work are almost certainly rocking too slowly.

Penelope Leach, Your Baby and Child

For really fussy babies, the swaddle must be tight, the shhhh must be harsh, and the swinging must be fast and jiggly. Remember, swinging refers to all manner of rhythmic actions, from patting to car rides to walking with your baby in a sling.

The three rules of successful swinging are:

1. Start Out Fast and Jiggly

Calming most frantic infants requires small, trembly movements, like someone with the world’s biggest case of shivers. This type of motion switches on the calming reflex and makes your baby think, Wow … that feels really good!

Some babies also like the free-fall feeling their parents give them when they suddenly dip or bend over. But be careful. If your baby is sensitive, that motion may startle him and set off his Moro reflex, upsetting him even more.

2. The Head Jiggles More Than the Body

A shimmying or shivering motion triggers your baby’s calming reflex by switching on motion detectors … in his head. That’s why it’s the movement of the head, and not the body, that really turns the reflex on.

As you jiggle your baby, don’t cup your hands firmly around his head. It’s critical that you allow your hands to be a little open and relaxed so his head makes tiny wiggles, like Jell-O quivering on a plate. If you hold his head too snugly, it won’t wiggle and you probably won’t activate the reflex.

3. Follow Your Baby’s Lead

How forceful should your jiggling be? The vigor of your motion should reflect the level of your baby’s crying. Gentle movements are fine for relaxed, sleepy infants, but the more agitated your baby is, the faster and more jiggly you need to be. Wait for his cries to lessen before you reduce your pace. Then, the calmer he gets, the slower your swinging can become.

Tamar and Dan realized they had to play “follow the leader” with their baby:

The most effective technique we’ve found to quiet Damian is putting him up on our shoulders and thumping his back quickly and firmly. As he calms, we downshift the intensity of the patting, bit by bit.

Vigorous movement also works, either in a rocking chair or dancing from side to side. And, combining rocking and patting is a winning combination for us that never fails to settle him as long as he’s not hungry or wet.

Although thumping your baby’s back may sound harsh, he’ll probably love it, and it will also help him burp! As a rule, thumping should sound like a drum, loud enough to hear across the room—but not in the next room.

Is Jiggling Ever Bad for Babies?

Ken and Lisa were hesitant to jiggle baby Emily. Like many other parents, they feared it would make her spit up, get overstimulated, or even harm her. But when they tried it, they were amazed: “We worried it would be too strong for her, but it worked like a charm!”

Almost any mother with more than three kids has learned that fussy babies settle fastest when they’re energetically bounced. And jiggling is certainly much safer for infants than driving them around town with a weary parent behind the wheel. However, for many first-time moms and dads, this shivering motion may seem counterintuitive and wrong. When I teach new parents my technique, they often ask in a concerned voice, “I know it’s been done for millions of years, but are you sure jiggling can’t accidentally cause Shaken Baby Syndrome?”

Fortunately, the answer is … No! No! No!

Shaken Baby Syndrome: The Big Difference Between a Jiggle and a Shake

The act of shaking leading to Shaken Baby Syndrome is so violent that individuals observing it would recognize it as dangerous and likely to kill the child.

American Academy of Pediatrics, Report on
Shaken Baby Syndrome, July 2001

Shaken Baby Syndrome is a horrific type of child abuse that requires a force even greater than falling off a bed or out of your arms. It occurs when a baby’s head is whipped back and forth, an extreme movement that has also been referred to as Baby Whiplash Syndrome. Why whiplash? Because it involves the forceful snapping of his head, side to side, like cracking a whip. That aggressive shaking can tear open tiny veins under the skull, causing bleeding and brain damage.

Jiggling, on the other hand, differs from the violent whipping motion that causes Shaken Baby Syndrome in two important and fundamental ways:

1. With jiggling, your motions are fast but tiny. Your baby’s head does not dramatically flail about. Instead, it moves—at most—one to two inches from side to side.

2. With jiggling, your baby’s head always stays in line with his body. There is no whipping action with the body going in one direction and the head moving abruptly in the opposite one.

It is my firm belief that jiggling can actually help prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome. Because it calms babies so quickly and successfully, it can keep parents from reaching the point of desperation that might drive them to a violent response.

Nevertheless, even with all the very best tips and advice, parenting can sometimes make anyone feel frustrated, edgy, and inadequate. That’s why it’s crucial that you never shake—or even jiggle—your baby when you’re angry!

Please—if you’re at the end of your patience, put your baby down (even if he is crying) and give yourself a break. Don’t hesitate to call for help from your spouse, your family, a friend, or a crisis hotline.

Kristi Discovers How to Calm Kyle’s Colic with the “Jell-O Head” Jiggle

Kristi and John’s son, Kyle, was a big, apple-cheeked baby with a wave of copper hair. He would be fine one night but scream for three hours the next! Kristi called for help after her five-week-old baby had been shrieking at the top of his lungs for hours. I made a house call.

Kristi describes what happened that Sunday night:

“As luck would have it, Kyle finally fell asleep moments before Dr. Karp arrived. I didn’t really want Dr. Karp to wake him up or even touch him. Sure enough, when he placed his stethoscope on Kyle’s chest, he started shrieking.

“Dr. Karp apologized for waking him, but reassured us that Kyle seemed healthy and his biggest problem was that he was having trouble calming. Then he deftly swaddled and jiggled our frantic baby, and we were stunned that within a minute Dr. Karp had Kyle resting angelically on his lap as if his last explosion had never happened.

“John and I practiced the technique and did okay, but we wimped out and asked Dr. Karp to put Kyle back to sleep before he left. Our boy did great that night, but the next day he was unbelievably fussy. And we just didn’t feel comfortable trying the tricks we had learned the night before.

“Finally, my mom came to the rescue. She wrapped Kyle tightly, placed him on her lap (laying him on his side with his head cradled in her hands), shhhhed loudly, and did what I like to call the ‘Jell-O head.’ She wiggled her knees back and forth, making his head quiver between her loosely cupped hands, like Jell-O on a plate. At first, Kyle resisted her efforts. He strained against the blanket and cried even harder. However, after three or four minutes he quieted, and after fifteen minutes he was fast asleep!

“My mother repeated this miracle many times throughout her stay with us and I began to view her as the expert on Dr. Karp’s method. I found that I had a hard time doing the Jell-O-head part, but I kept working at it and eventually began to feel more confident.

“At first it took almost twenty minutes for this trick to settle Kyle into sleep. But soon I got it down to ten minutes, and by the time he was seven weeks old I could take him from shriek to smile in two minutes flat.

“The more I practiced, the more I learned that the crucial steps for Kyle were tight swaddling and the Jell-O head. Gentle rhythms helped him when he was already quiet, but to calm screaming he needed almost an earthquake. Then, after a short time, he would heave a huge sigh and tension seemed to leave his body. I felt like a great mom! By four months of age, Kyle was adorable, happy, and doing fine without swaddling, the swing—or the Jell-O-head jiggle.”

Kristi, John, Kyle, and Cassandra

Lullabies: What Swinging Sounds Like When Put to Music

The word lullaby means to sing to sleep, and the tempo of these tunes is usually one beat per second—approximately the same as a heartbeat. The slow, rhythmic pace of lullabies is perfect for your baby after he has been fed and is drifting into the land of Winken, Blinken, and Nod.

However, these tranquil songs are usually powerless to stop babies in the midst of a crying frenzy. By that point, they’re so lost in screams they can’t hear you, even though you may be singing their favorite song. Just as adults can be “blind with rage,” babies can become “deaf with distress.”

Fortunately, you can rescue your baby from crying by switching to a tune with a zippy rhythm of two to three beats per second. These fast songs work especially well after your baby is swaddled. They’re the original “Wrap” music! If you’re a Beatles fan, try calming your baby with a fast jiggle like “It’s Been a Hard Day’s Night.” As he begins to settle, slow down to “We Can Work It Out” or “All You Need Is Love.” And when he’s putty in your hands, shift to a slow song like “Golden Slumbers” or the number-one favorite of all new parents, “I’m So Tired.”

Lullabies work better and better with repetition, as your baby gradually learns to associate the music with the sweet cuddling you give him every time you sing.

Lullabies Help Parents Too!

Lullabies calm babies—and parents. These songs gently soothe our jangled nerves and lull us into a more peaceful state of mind. Lullabies also often contain a dash of black humor to help sleep-deprived parents vent their feelings and laugh a little. Consider, for example, the lyrics of the classic lullaby, “Rock-a-Bye Baby”:

Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop,

when the wind blows the cradle will rock,

when the bough breaks the cradle will fall,

and down will come baby, cradle and all.

The rhythms may be for sleepy babies, but the words are definitely for frazzled grown-ups!

The Windshield Wiper and Infant Swings: Two Great Ways to Move Your Baby in the Right Direction

Deborah’s two-month-old son, Max, loved being lifted up and down, over and over again, using his mother like a carnival ride.

Genevieve’s mom found she had to walk her baby, lap after lap, around the block to keep her happy.

Carrying your baby in your arms or sling all day is one of the most pleasurable treats of being a new mom, but, by the end of the day, it can leave you feeling exhausted. So how else can you jiggle your baby without wearing out your back, your carpet, or your sense of humor?

I suggest these two user-friendly and highly successful calming motions: the Windshield Wiper, which is great for calming frantic babies, and the infant swing, which keeps babies quiet after they’ve been calmed.

The Windshield Wiper: How to Use Your Lap to Quiet Your Colicky Baby

The Windshield Wiper perfectly combines the 5 “S’s” for a very powerful soothing experience. Next to in my arms or a sling, it’s my favorite method for switching on a baby’s calming reflex.

Don’t get discouraged if the movement seems a little complicated the first time you try it. After five to ten practices, you’ll see it’s one of the easiest ways for pooped parents to soothe upset infants. (It’s best to practice the Windshield Wiper with a doll or when your baby is quiet and alert.)

Here’s what to do:

1. Swaddle your baby tightly (the 1st “S”).

2. Find a comfortable chair to sit in with your feet resting flat on the floor. (Most parents find that sitting forward in the chair works best.)

3. Sit with your knees together and your feet a few inches apart (approximately the same distance as your shoulders).

4. Nestle your baby on his right side in the groove between your legs (the 2nd “S”), allowing his cheek and head to rest in your left hand (on top of your knees). If your baby is long, or your arms are short, pull him closer to you and let his ankles rest on your left hip.

5. Slide your right hand under his head so your two hands overlap a bit and his head is cradled in an open, loose grasp.

6. Soften your shoulders, take a deep breath, and let your body relax.

7. Roll your baby partly, or totally, onto his stomach. His tummy should press against your left arm or legs. Make sure he’s not at all rolled toward his back.

8. Lean forward over his body, and make a rough shhhh right next to his ear (the 3rd “S”). Your shhhh should be as loud as his crying.

9. Now swing (the 4th “S”) your knees side-to-side—like a windshield wiper. If he’s crying hard, move faster but make your moves smaller and smaller. In seconds you’ll be making quick, tiny movements—two to three beats per second and one inch from side to side. The louder your little one cries, the faster and smaller your swinging should be. Then, as he calms, gradually slow your motion down. (Remember, his head must jiggle like Jell-O back and forth between your hands to turn on the calming reflex.) Some parents prefer bouncing their baby up and down on their knees, but this often doesn’t work as well as swinging.

10. Finally, if your hands are well positioned, your left thumb should be in front of his mouth. Offer him your clean thumb to suck on (the 5th “S”). Don’t worry about your thumb being too big to fit; remember how big he can open his mouth when he cries! Or, if you prefer, your hand is also in position to hold a pacifier for him to suck on.

A Beginner’s Version of the Windshield Wiper

 Until you master the Windshield Wiper, try this easier version:

1. Swaddle your baby and securely wedge him on his side (as described in Chapter 9) in the bassinet or crib.

2. Grab the bassinet on the side, near his head.

3. Jiggle it quickly, like you’re shivering, making his head wiggle like Jell-O.

4. Shhhh loudly or turn on some harsh white noise.

Your baby should calm after twenty to thirty seconds of this method. Then roll him on his back and let him sleep.

Infant Swings: Get Your Fussy Baby into the Swing of Things

Many of you probably live far from your families, and the burden of baby care falls on your shoulders twenty-four hours a day. No wonder you need some help! That’s why it was inevitable that the inventors of labor-saving devices like washing machines and garbage disposals would create some baby-calming devices like swings, bouncy seats, and … cars. (Of course, cars weren’t invented for this reason, but that’s how many parents use them.)

Many weary parents find products that vibrate or swing are even better than car rides. When used properly, these devices are more effective, don’t cause accidents or pollution, and they let you stay in your PJ’s!

Unfortunately, some parents hesitate to use swings because they believe myths like: “It moves too fast.” “It can hurt a baby’s back.” “It makes them vomit.” “Babies get dependent on them.” “It’s meant for older infants.”

Betsy found the swing helpful, but she was so afraid it would hurt Hannah that she put two pounds of bananas in it with her just to slow the thing down!

Lisanne felt torn. The swing helped Sasha, but she worried, “I don’t want him to become hooked on it.”

Of course, the last thing any parent would ever want to do is hurt her child or impair his development. But, don’t forget, babies are jiggled and rocked for months in the womb. That’s why, far from spoiling Sasha, his hours in the swing were a small compensation for his having been evicted from the uterus. Once Sasha reached three months, he was old enough to soothe himself without any help from a swing. Like Sasha, most babies by three to four months of life find the swing isolating and boring. I’ve never seen a baby who couldn’t be easily weaned from the swing by five months of age. (See Chapter 15 on weaning babies from the swing.)

Occasionally, your friends and families may also have worries about infant swings. Some comment disapprovingly: “Babies should be in their mother’s arms, not in a machine.” Or, “It shouldn’t be called a swing, it’s really a ‘neglectomatic’!”

For most of the day you’ll carry your baby in your arms or a sling, but some babies protest whenever they are put down. In the past we always had kith and kin to lend hands of support. In today’s mini-families, a swing can help replace that missing extra pair of hands you need to comfort your baby while you shower, prepare dinner, or take a nap.

   Eight Tricks for Getting the Most Out of Your Swing

Fern boasted, “The swing was magic for our son William. The motion and the noise worked great to get him into a peaceful sleep. It became my third hand.”

Like all baby-calming techniques, there are tricks to using swings that can improve your success with them.

1. Start swinging early. Babies love swings. After all, they’re rockin’ and rollin’ in your womb for months. But if your baby was preterm, has hypotonia (floppy like a Raggedy Ann doll), or is under one month, ask your doctor’s permission before using it.

2. Never put your baby into the swing when he’s screaming. Karp’s Law of Swings states: If you put a screaming baby in a swing, what you’ll get is a swinging, screaming baby!

A little-known fact about swings (and bouncy seats too) is that they’re not very good for making frantic babies calm. However, once your baby’s crying has been temporarily quieted, they’re great for keeping him calm and lulling him into sleep. So, always settle your baby for several minutes before you put him in the swing.

3. Keep your baby’s arms wrapped. Swaddling helps swinging babies quiet faster and stay quiet longer. However, you still need to strap him securely into the swing’s seat by putting the bar or belt between his wrapped legs.

4. Recline the seat back as much as possible. If the seat is too upright, it can be hard for your baby to support his head. Recline it back as far as it can go or use a swing with a cradle attachment.

5. Do a twenty-second jiggle whenever crying starts up again. After your baby is in the swing, he may start to fuss again. Remember, only tiny but vigorous movements are a great way to turn on the calming reflex in a fussy baby. So if his crying flares up, grab the back of the swing seat and start jiggling it forward and back an inch, two to three moves a second. Within twenty seconds he should relax again.

6. Use the fastest speed. Unless your baby is soundly asleep, the slow speed will probably be too mild to keep him into a deep state of relaxation. Cranky kids settle best on the fast speed and many sleep best that way all night long. See what works best for your baby.

7. Use loud white noise at the same time. Play a loud white noise one to two feet from your baby’s head until he is so deeply asleep you can lower it a bit (to a strong rumble) without waking him up.

8. Practice makes perfect. As with all of the 5 “S’s,” after a few pleasant experiences in the swing, your baby may start getting happy as soon as you put him in it.

Sandy could calm Harriet in her lap, but when she moved the baby to the swing, little Harriet roared all over again. Sandy, warned not to overstimulate her already frantic child, would set the swing on the slowest speed. But this was too gentle to keep her little firecracker “zoned.”

Sandy changed her approach by wrapping Harriet’s arms snugly and turning on the hair dryer to quiet her momentarily. Then she hustled her into the swing and jiggled it by hand for a few seconds. Once her baby looked peaceful, Sandy set the swing at the maximum speed. Immediately, everything came together. Soothing Harriet became a snap, and suddenly the swing worked every time.

The Whys About the “S’s”: Questions Parents Ask About Swinging

1. Are swings ever bad for a baby’s legs, hips, or back?

No. Inside the womb, your baby was twisted like a pretzel. His supple body is incredibly flexible, which is why he can be placed in a swing without any concern for his legs, hips, or back.

2. I sometimes worry my baby’s neck is too doubled over in the swing. Is that possible?

In the swing, your baby should be reclined back as much as possible. His neck should not be doubled over. That could make it hard to breathe especially if he is premature or sick.

3. Should I avoid rocking my baby vigorously right after he has eaten?

Believe it or not, jiggling doesn’t make babies spit up more. In fact, keeping him from crying may even make your baby less likely to throw up. Bouncing can also loosen a gas bubble and help your baby burp.

4. Can a baby get dizzy or nauseous from the swing or the Windshield Wiper?

No. Jiggling motion does not set off the nausea center of the brain. Dizziness and nausea are triggered by big wide movements like driving down a curvy mountain road. Swinging makes fussy babies feel more comfortable, not less.

5. If I put my baby in the swing too much, will it lose its effectiveness?

Some babies love to suck, some need white noise to stay calm, and others are only happy when they’re swinging all day. Luckily, what babies love, they love all the time! That’s why they never tire of milk, cuddling, or swings.

6. What should I do if my baby cries more when I rock him fast?

Your infant may keep yelling for a few minutes after you begin jiggling him, since it can take a little time for him to realize you’re doing something he likes. If, however, your baby continues crying despite vigorous jiggling, check your technique. Make sure your moves are fast and tiny, you’re using loud white noise, he’s tightly wrapped, and, when he’s in your lap or arms, that he’s on his side or stomach.

A Parent’s Perspective: Odes to Swings and Other Things

Everyone knows that people can be moved to tears, but many parents are learning that their babies can also be moved to happiness. Here are a few babies who calmed once their parents got a little mojo happening:

When baby Noah began to cry, David tried burping him by hoisting Noah onto his shoulder and lightly patting his back. Despite David’s loving attempts to get a burp out, Noah continued to wail.

Perhaps out of frustration or from some ancient instinct, David started patting Noah harder. He thumped him like a tom-tom drum, with a cupped hand, at about two pats per second.

Almost instantly, Noah quieted. His body melted into his dad’s arms and a few minutes later he fell asleep. “I was surprised to see how firmly he liked to be patted. But he relaxed so fast and so deeply that I knew it was right.”

When Margie and Barbara’s son, Michael, was six weeks old, he screamed so loudly at night that their downstairs neighbor would often bang on the ceiling.

Margie tried to placate him with gentle rocking and soothing songs, but nothing worked until she discovered what she called the “Native war dance.” She clutched Michael to her chest, his stomach pressed against her and her arms around him like a straitjacket, and shouted, “HA-ja ja ja, HA-ja ja ja.” With each loud “HA” she doubled over and bent at the knees, making Michael feel as if he’d fallen through a trapdoor. With each “ja” she thumped him on the back and ratcheted her body partway back up. By the third “ja” she was standing straight again, ready for the next “HA.”

Margie said that at three A.M., the vigor of the rhythm and the loudness of the chant were essential. Usually, within ten minutes or so Michael was snoozing again.