September 4

Dear Tara-Starr,

It’s 4:02 P.M. and I’m sitting in my room at the end of the first day of seventh grade, and I can’t help what I’m going to say next.

I AM SO MAD AT YOU. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MOVE AWAY??? I THOUGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BEST FRIENDS 4-EVER. IF I DIDN’T LIKE YOU SO MUCH I WOULD HAVE MADE YOU MY EX-BEST FRIEND 4-EVER BY NOW.

Okay. There. I just had to say that. I’m not really mad. You’re still my best friend. I hate that you moved away, but I know it wasn’t your fault.

So … you want to know the highlights of the day? I get off the bus, I walk into Reston Middle School, and right away I notice that

1. Mr. Chimanto (however you spell his name) grew a mustache and it looks nice.

2. Mme. Simon got her hair all cut off and she looks like a boiled owl.

3. Joelie* may have gotten a nose job. No one can tell. (Here I sense that you would make some sort of nose/knows pun, but I’m not good at puns like you are so you can fill in your own.) __________________________________________________________

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* Joelie Hammond, in case you don’t remember.

Another highlight involves Karen Frank, Barf Queen of the Water Fountain. Remember how she has barfed in the water fountain on the first day of school every year? Well, she didn’t let us down today. In fact, she let it all up. Again. And to make things even more interesting, she barfed right in front of about 15 girls who were all discussing Joelie’s nose, and she almost started a chain reaction.

You know what I don’t understand? How can the Wheel of Fortune home game have 400 puzzles but over 11 million categories? This does not make sense, but it’s what I heard the announcer say when I was channel surfing last night. (Emma and I are still not allowed to be Wheel Watchers. This won’t change as long as Dad only lets us watch educational shows. The only place I ever got to see WOF was at your house. Now what am I supposed to do?)

Well, that’s it for now. Write and tell me about your first day of school. I know you don’t start until tomorrow. I guess that’s one of the benefits of moving to Ohio. As far as I can tell, though, it’s the only benefit.

Love,

P.S. Emma started at Miss Fine’s Preschool today and she hated it. She says she already learned everything on Sesame Street, plus, she doesn’t like crackers.