14
Afterthought

Sometimes, no matter what you do, your child doesn’t want to sleep when you want him to. It happens. But if you have tried everything, maybe now is a good time to just accept it. Acceptance won’t make the problem disappear but it may make it easier to bear. One parent’s problem is another’s good night. Here’s what other parents have found.

‘The biggest problem comes when you try to fight them – you can’t fight the fundamental pattern.’

Cathy, mother of two

‘If I ever have a dilemma about how to deal with a parenting problem I ask myself what I would do if I hadn’t read any books or heard any one else’s opinions. I think there is a huge learning curve in parenting but with each extra child you have, the more your experience can help you do better. I think each family has to work it out for themselves.’

Dawn, mother of three

‘We tried leaving him to cry, it never worked, giving him drugs, that didn’t work, taking turns, putting him in our bed, watching videos, driving round in the car, laying with him while he went to sleep and musical beds but only sleeping with him worked – he just wanted company. Children grow out of it eventually. Accept them for what they are – only little. We cannot control everything in our lives but we can adapt to sleep disturbances.’

Diana, mother of three

‘I’d say to other parents that it will happen, eventually. Jennifer was six when she finally slept a night in her own bed for the first time. If you can’t stomach behaviour management methods, just wait patiently, keep your sense of humour and keep trying. At seven years Jennifer is our most confident/sociable/outward going/peer group loving child. After not being separated from us without a HUGE FUSS for six long years she finally severed the cord and FLEW. I like to think (and this makes it all worth while) that if we’d “sleep cliniced”/drugged or otherwise forced her to separate from us before she was ready, it would have made a detrimental difference to her development.’

Ann, mother of four

‘When you have a baby you just accept that they wake in the night and deal with it, knowing it doesn’t last forever.’

Dawn, mother of six

Tips for Getting Through the Night …

• Accept it

• Know it doesn’t last

• Concentrate on the good bits

• Turn the clock to the wall – does it really matter what time it is?

• Take turns each hour/each night

• Do whatever makes it easier

… and the Day

• Slow down

• Sleep whenever you can