A PERSON OF INFLUENCE HAS . . . FAITH IN PEOPLE
Jim grew up in Niagara Falls, New York. Today the population is about sixty thousand, but when Jim lived there, it had closer to one hundred thousand people. It was a thriving industrial center, with companies such as DuPont Chemical. It also had cultural offerings, a strong one-hundred-year-old university, and other attractions, but the main focus of the town then was the incredible natural wonder of the falls, as it still is today.
The Iroquois called it Niagara, meaning “thunder of waters.” It’s an awesome sight. Every minute more than 12 million cubic feet of water drop a distance of about 180 feet over the edge of the falls. And its total width, including both the Canadian and the American portions, measures more than 3,100 feet. It is rightly called one of the natural wonders of the world. Jim says:
Back when we were growing up, we heard a lot of stories about the falls and the daredevil stunts people used to pull—like Annie Edson Taylor’s going over the falls in a barrel and things like that. One of the great legends of the town was a French acrobat named Charles Blondin, who lived from 1824 to 1897. He crossed over the entire width of the falls on a tightrope back in 1859. That must have taken nerves of steel since a fall certainly would have killed him. In fact, he crossed the falls several times. He did it once with a wheelbarrow, another time blindfolded, and yet another time on stilts. They say he was quite remarkable. He continued performing even into his seventies.
One of the most incredible feats he performed was crossing the falls on a tightrope while carrying a man on his back. Can you imagine that? I guess just crossing over by himself wasn’t tough enough for him! But as difficult as that feat must have been on Blondin, I can’t help wondering how he got someone to go with him. That’s what you call trust: to climb onto the back of a man who is going to walk more than half a mile on a rope suspended over one of the most powerful waterfalls in the world.
I used to think about that as a kid. What would it be like to see the falls from up on a rope above them? And more important, what person would trust me to carry him across the falls the way that man trusted Blondin?
We can’t tell you the identity of the man Blondin carried across the falls, but there is no question that he had great faith in the French acrobat. After all, he put his life in the man’s hands. You don’t see that kind of trust in others every day. But the times you do, it is a very special thing.
Faith in people is an essential quality of an influencer when working with others, yet it’s a scarce commodity today. Take a look at the following four facts about faith:
1. MOST PEOPLE DON’T HAVE FAITH IN THEMSELVES
Not long ago we saw a Shoe comic strip by Jeff MacNelly that showed Shoe, the crusty newspaper editor, standing on the mound in a baseball game. His catcher said to him, “You’ve got to have faith in your curve ball.” In the next frame Shoe remarked, “It’s easy for him to say. When it comes to believing in myself, I’m an agnostic.”
That’s the way too many people feel today. They have trouble believing in themselves. They believe they will fail. Even when they see a light at the end of the tunnel, they’re convinced it’s a train. They see a difficulty in every possibility. But the reality is that difficulties seldom defeat people; lack of faith in themselves usually does it. With a little faith in themselves, people can do miraculous things. But without it, they have a really tough time.
2. MOST PEOPLE DON’T HAVE SOMEONE WHO HAS FAITH IN THEM
In Just for Today, James Keller tells this story: “A sidewalk flower vendor was not doing any business. Suddenly a happy thought struck him and he put up this sign: ‘This gardenia will make you feel important all day long for 10 cents.’ All at once his sales began to increase.”
In our society today, most people feel isolated. The strong sense of community that was once enjoyed by most Americans has become rare. And many people don’t have the family support that was more common thirty or forty years ago. For example, evangelist Bill Glass noted, “Over 90 percent of prison inmates were told by parents while growing up, ‘They’re going to put you in jail.’ ” Instead of teaching their children to believe in themselves, some parents are tearing them down. For many people, even those who are closest to them don’t believe in them. They have no one on their side. No wonder even a little thing like a flower can make a difference in how a person approaches the day.
3. MOST PEOPLE CAN TELL WHEN SOMEONE HAS FAITH IN THEM
People’s instincts are pretty good at knowing when others have faith in them. They can sense if your belief is genuine or phony. And truly having faith in someone can change that person’s life. Jim’s wife, Nancy, often says, “When you believe in people, they do the impossible.”
In his book Move Ahead with Possibility Thinking, John’s friend Robert Schuller, former pastor of the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, California, tells a wonderful story about an incident that changed his life as a boy. It occurred when his uncle had faith in him and showed it in his words and actions:
His car drove past the unpainted barn and stopped in a cloud of summer dust at our front gate. I ran barefooted across the splintery porch and saw my uncle Henry bound out of the car. He was tall, very handsome, and terribly alive with energy. After many years overseas as a missionary in China, he was visiting our Iowa farm. He ran up to the old gate and put both of his big hands on my four-year-old shoulders. He smiled widely, ruffled my uncombed hair, and said, “Well! I guess you’re Robert! I think you are going to be a preacher someday.” That night I prayed secretly, “And dear God, make me a preacher when I grow up!” I believe that God made me a POSSIBILITY THINKER then and there.
As you work to become a person of influence, always remember that your goal is not to get people to think more highly of you. It’s to get them to think more highly of themselves. Have faith in them, and they will begin to do exactly that.
4. MOST PEOPLE WILL DO ANYTHING TO LIVE UP TO YOUR FAITH IN THEM
People rise or fall to meet your level of expectations for them. If you express skepticism and doubt in others, they will return your lack of confidence with mediocrity. But if you believe in them and expect them to do well, they will go the extra mile trying to do their best. And in the process, they and you benefit. John H. Spalding expressed the thought this way: “Those who believe in our ability do more than stimulate us. They create for us an atmosphere in which it becomes easier to succeed.”
If you’ve never been one to trust people and put your faith in them, change your way of thinking and begin believing in others. Your life will quickly improve. When you have faith in others, you give them an incredible gift. Give others money, and it’s soon spent. Give resources, and they may not be used to their best advantage. Give help, and people will often find themselves back where they started in a short period of time. But give them your faith, and they become confident, energized, and self-reliant. They become motivated to acquire what they need to succeed on their own. And then later, if you share money, resources, and help, they’re better able to use them to build a better future.
FAITH IS BELIEF IN ACTION
In the late 1800s, a salesman from back east arrived at a frontier town somewhere on the Great Plains. As he was talking to the owner of a general store, a rancher came in, and the owner excused himself to take care of his customer. As they talked, the salesman couldn’t help overhearing their conversation. It seemed the rancher wanted credit for some things he needed.
“Are you doing any fencing this spring, Jake?” asked the storekeeper.
“Sure am, Bill,” said the rancher.
“Fencing in or fencing out?”
“Fencing in. Taking in another 360 acres across the creek.”
“Good to hear it, Jake. You got the credit. Just tell Steve out back what you need.”
The salesman was dumbfounded. “I’ve seen all kinds of credit systems,” he said, “but never one like that. How does it work?”
“Well,” said the storekeeper, “let me tell you. If a man’s fencing out, that means he’s scared, trying to just hold on to what he’s got. But if he’s fencing in, he’s growing and trying to improve. I always give credit to a man who’s fencing in because that means he believes in himself.”
Having faith in people requires more than just words or positive feelings about them. We have to back it up with what we do. As W. T. Purkiser, professor emeritus of religion at Point Loma Nazarene University, clearly saw: “Faith is more than thinking something is true. Faith is thinking something is true to the extent that we act on it.”
If you want to help other people and make a positive impact on their lives, you have to treat them with that kind of confidence. Become a believer in people, and even the most tentative and inexperienced people can bloom right before your eyes.
HOW TO BECOME A BELIEVER IN PEOPLE
We’re fortunate because we grew up in positive, affirming environments. As a result, we have an easy time believing in people and expressing that belief. But we realize that not everyone had the benefit of a positive upbringing. Most people need to learn how to have faith in others. To build your belief in others, try using these suggestions, created using the letters of the word BELIEVE.
BELIEVE IN THEM BEFORE THEY SUCCEED
Have you ever noticed how many people support a sports team as soon as it starts winning? That happened in San Diego a number of years ago when the Chargers won their division, then won all their play-off games leading into the Super Bowl. The whole town went crazy. You could see the team’s lightning bolt symbol everywhere: on people’s houses, on the back windows of cars, on lapel pins, and so forth.
During the height of the Chargers’ success, a couple of local radio personalities named Jeff and Jer rallied the people of San Diego by sponsoring a big event at the stadium one morning. Their plan was to give the people who showed up T-shirts in the team colors and have them line up in the parking lot in the shape of a giant lightning bolt. Then they would take a picture of it from a helicopter and put it in the newspaper the next morning. A couple of thousand people were required to pull it off, and they hoped enough would show to make it happen. Imagine their surprise when so many people showed up that they ran out of T-shirts and ended up surrounding the “human bolt” with a border of extras. It was such a big deal that some of the news services picked it up and televised it on the national news.
Everyone loves a winner. It’s easy to have faith in people who have already proved themselves. It’s much tougher to believe in people before they have proved themselves. But that is the key to motivating people to reach their potential. You have to believe in them first, before they become successful, and sometimes before they even believe in themselves.
Some people in your life desperately want to believe in themselves but have little hope. As you interact with them, remember the motto of French World War I hero Marshal Ferdinand Foch: “There are no hopeless situations; there are only men and women who have grown hopeless about them.” Every person has seeds of greatness within, even though they may currently be dormant. But when you believe in people, you water the seeds and give them the chance to grow. Every time you put your faith in them, you’re giving life-sustaining water, warmth, food, and light. And if you continue to give encouragement through your belief in them, these people will bloom in time.
EMPHASIZE THEIR STRENGTHS
We mentioned previously that many people mistakenly think that to be influential in other people’s lives, they have to be an “authority” and point out others’ deficiencies. People who try that approach become like Lucy from the comic strip Peanuts by Charles Schulz. In one strip Lucy told poor Charlie Brown, “You, Charlie Brown, are a foul ball in the line drive of life! You’re in the shadow of your own goal posts! You are a miscue! You are three putts on the eighteenth green! You are a seven-ten split in the tenth frame. . . . You are a missed free throw, a shanked nine iron and a called third strike! Do you understand? Have I made myself clear?” That’s hardly a way to positively impact the life of another person!
The road to becoming a positive influence on others lies in exactly the opposite direction. The best way to show people your faith in them and motivate them is to focus your attention on their strengths. According to author and advertising executive Bruce Barton, “Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances.” By emphasizing people’s strengths, you’re helping them believe that they possess what they need to succeed.
Praise them for what they do well, both privately and publicly. Tell them how much you appreciate their positive qualities and their skills. And anytime you have the opportunity to compliment and praise them in the presence of their family and close friends, do it.
LIST THEIR PAST SUCCESSES
Even when you emphasize people’s strengths, they may need further encouragement to show them you believe in them and to get them motivated. Entrepreneur Mary Kay Ash advised, “Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from his neck saying, ‘Make me feel important!’ Never forget this message when working with people.” One of the best ways to do that is to help people remember their past successes.
The account of David and Goliath presents a classic example of how past successes can help a person have faith in himself. You may remember the story from the Bible. A nine-foot-tall Philistine champion named Goliath stood before the army of Israel and taunted them every day for forty days, daring them to send out a warrior to face him. On the fortieth day, a young shepherd named David came to the front lines to deliver food to his brothers, who were in Israel’s army. While he was there, he witnessed the giant’s contemptuous display of taunts and challenges. David was so infuriated that he told King Saul of Israel that he wanted to face the giant in battle. Here’s what happened:
David said to Saul, “Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him.” Saul replied, “You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a boy, and he has been a fighting man from his youth.” But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear. . . . The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”1
David looked back on his past successes, and he had confidence in his future actions. And of course, when he faced the giant, he felled him like a tree, using nothing but a rock and sling. And when he cut off Goliath’s head, his success inspired his fellow countrymen; they routed the Philistine army.
Not everyone has the natural ability to recognize past successes and draw confidence from them. Some people need help. If you can show others that they have done well in the past and help them see that their past victories have paved the way for future success, they’ll be better able to move into action. Listing past successes helps others believe in themselves.
INSTILL CONFIDENCE WHEN THEY FAIL
When you have encouraged people and put your faith in them, and they begin to believe they can succeed in life, they soon reach a critical crossroads. The first time or two that they fail—and they will fail because it’s a part of life—they have two choices. They can give in or go on.
Some people are resilient and willing to keep trying in order to succeed, even when they don’t see immediate progress. But others aren’t that determined. Some will collapse at the first sign of trouble. To give them a push and inspire them, you need to keep showing your confidence in them, even when they’re making mistakes or doing poorly.
One of the ways to do that is to tell them about your past troubles and traumas. Sometimes people think that if you’re currently successful, you have always been that way. They don’t realize that you have had your share of flops, failures, and fumbles. Show them that success is a journey, a process, not a destination. When they realize that you have failed and yet still managed to succeed, they’ll realize that it’s okay to fail. And their confidence will remain intact. They will learn to think the way baseball legend Babe Ruth did when he said, “Never let the fear of striking out get in the way.”
EXPERIENCE SOME WINS TOGETHER
It’s not enough just knowing that failure is a part of moving forward in life. To really become motivated to succeed, people need to believe they can win. John, like many of us, got a taste for winning when he was just a kid. John says,
Growing up, I idolized my brother Larry, who is two and a half years older than I am. After my parents, he was probably the greatest influencer in my life when I was a kid. Larry has always been a great leader and an excellent athlete. And whenever we played basketball, football, or baseball with the kids in the neighborhood, Larry was a captain.
A lot of times when they picked teams, I would be one of the last picked, because I was younger and smaller than most of the kids. But as I got older, Larry began picking me more, and that always made me feel good, not only because it meant my brother cared about me, but because I knew that when Larry picked me, I was going to be on the winning team. You see, Larry was a fierce competitor, and he didn’t like losing. He always played to win, and he usually did. Together we put quite a few wins under our belts, and I came to expect victory when I played with my brother.
To help people believe they can achieve victory, put them in a position to experience small successes. Encourage them to perform tasks or take on responsibilities you know they can handle and do well. And give them the assistance they need to succeed. In time, as their confidence grows, they will take on more difficult challenges, but they will be able to face them with confidence and competence because of the positive track record they’re developing.
VISUALIZE THEIR FUTURE SUCCESS
We heard about an experiment performed with laboratory rats to measure their motivation to live under different circumstances. Scientists dropped a rat into a jar of water that had been placed in total darkness, and they timed how long the animal would continue swimming before it gave up and allowed itself to drown. They found that the rat usually lasted little more than three minutes.
Then they dropped another rat into the same kind of jar, but instead of placing it in total darkness, they allowed a ray of light to shine into it. Under those circumstances, the rat kept swimming for thirty-six hours. That’s more than seven hundred times longer than the one in the dark! Because the rat could see, it continued to have hope.
If that is true of laboratory animals, think of how strong the effect of visualization can be on people, who are capable of higher reasoning. It’s been said that a person can live forty days without food, four days without water, four minutes without air, but only four seconds without hope. Each time you cast a vision for others and paint a picture of their future success, you build them up, motivate them, and give them reasons to keep going.
EXPECT A NEW LEVEL OF LIVING
German statesman Konrad Adenauer observed: “We all live under the same sky, but we don’t all have the same horizon.” As an influencer, you have the goal of helping others see beyond today and their current circumstances and dream big dreams. When you put your faith in people, you help them to expand their horizons and motivate them to move to a whole new level of living.
Integral to that new way of living is a change in attitude. According to Denis Waitley, “The winner’s edge is not in a gifted birth, a high IQ, or in talent. The winner’s edge is all in the attitude, not aptitude. Attitude is the criterion for success.” As people’s attitudes change from doubt to confidence—in themselves and their ability to succeed and reach their potential—everything in their lives changes for the better.
Jim and Nancy gained incredible insights about the power of putting their faith into others several years ago when they decided to take a chance with their son Eric on a mountain in Utah. Here’s Jim’s account of it:
When you have a disabled child, you constantly fight a battle of emotions between providing him new experiences and protecting him from injury or failure. Our life with Eric has been no exception. Despite his limitations, which include having to use a wheelchair and having very little use of his right hand, Eric has a great positive spirit. And often if there is hesitation to try new things, it comes from Nancy and me rather than him.
About five years ago Nancy got the idea that we should take Eric skiing. She had heard from a friend about a place in Park City, Utah, called the National Ability Center. There they offer people with disabilities instruction and assistance in snow skiing, swimming, tennis, waterskiing, horseback riding, rafting, and other activities. She thought the experience would be great for his self-esteem.
I have to admit, I was skeptical about it from the very beginning. Knowing how difficult the sport is for me, I had trouble imagining Eric racing down a 10,000-foot mountain. And that wasn’t helped by the knowledge that a blow to Eric’s head could cause him to have a seizure that would put him in the hospital for more brain surgery. But Nancy had faith that Eric could do it, and when she believes, so does he. And off we went to give it a try.
When we got up to Deer Valley and met some of the people who work at the National Ability Center, I started to feel a little bit better about it. They were professional and extremely positive, and they showed us the equipment that Eric would be using, a type of bi-ski with a molded seat. Eric would be put in the chair and steer using a bar attached to outrigger skis.
When we started to fill out paperwork, we were momentarily paralyzed when we read the waiver that said that Eric would be “engaging in activities that involve risk of serious injury, including permanent disability and death.” It made the risk seem very real, but by this time Eric was very excited and we didn’t want him to see any hesitation from us.
After Velcro-fastening Eric into his bi-ski and giving him some pointers, Stephanie, his young instructor, took him up the bunny slope. About ten minutes later, we got excited as we saw Eric coming down the hill with the biggest smile on his face. We were so proud of him that we were giving him high fives and patting him on the back. I thought to myself, That wasn’t so bad.
Then off they went again. What we didn’t know was that this time they were going to the top of the mountain. At the bottom of the hill we waited. And waited. We weren’t sure whether we’d see Eric come down the mountain on his skis or on a stretcher with the ski patrol. Finally, after about thirty minutes, we saw him and Stephanie come around a bend and ski to the bottom of the slope. His cheeks were flushed, and he was grinning like the Cheshire cat. He loved it.
“Move over, Dad,” he said as he blew past us. “I’m going up again.”
Eric skied every day on that trip. In fact, when he finished skiing one day, he told us. “Stephanie didn’t take me up the mountain today.”
“Oh,” said Nancy, “then who skied with you?”
“Some one-legged guy,” answered Eric.
“What!” screeched Nancy. “What do you mean ‘some one-legged guy’?”
“Yep,” said Eric, “a one-legged guy.” And then Eric smiled mischievously and said, “Want to know how he lost his leg? Avalanche!”
Eric has been skiing every year since then, and his life hasn’t been the same. He now has confidence that he never had before, and he is willing to try just about anything. He swims three days a week, works out with weights, plays power soccer, and does other sorts of things. I guess you could say that he has adopted the motto of the National Ability Center as his own: “If I Can Do This, I Can Do Anything!”
If they had done things Jim’s way, Eric never would have gotten the chance to experience what he did on that mountain in Utah five years ago. Jim loves Eric with all his heart, but he tends to want to play it safe. Putting your faith in others involves taking a chance. But the rewards outweigh the risks. Robert Louis Stevenson said, “To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.” When you put your faith in others, you help them reach their potential. And you become an important influencer in their lives.
HAVING FAITH IN PEOPLE
• Find a strength. Think about someone you’d like to encourage. Find a strength that the person has, and point it out to him or her. Use your interaction as an opportunity to express confidence in the person.
• Build on past successes. If you have to give someone a difficult assignment in the near future, take some time to recall his or her past successes. Then when you meet with the person, review those past successes. (If you go through this process and can’t recall any past successes, that’s a sign you’ve spent too little time getting to know the person. Plan to spend some time together to get better acquainted.)
• Help others overcome defeat. If you have colleagues, friends, employees, or family members who have recently experienced a defeat of some kind, take time to chat with them about it. Let them tell you the whole story, and when they’re done, make it clear that you value them and still believe strongly in them.
• Start off right. The next time you recruit new people for your organization, start the relationships right. Instead of waiting until after they prove themselves to praise them, make it a point to repeatedly express your faith in them and their ability before they give you results. You’ll be pleased by their desire to live up to your positive expectations.