Suicide Among Gifted Children and Adolescents- Second Edition

In this section, we will consider what we know about the lived experiences of gifted students and how that knowledge can be put to use in helping them thrive psychologically in the school environment. There are unique factors that may increase protection or risk for these students, depending on how they are experienced in context.

When growing up gifted, there are several areas of development in which the gifted person’s endogenous characteristics (those within the person) encounter the exogenous characteristics of differing environments. Some early examples include being an early reader, developing an impressive vocabulary, developing early advanced computer skills, beginning school early, and so forth. As very young gifted students encounter the norms among age-mates, they often deviate from them, putting them at odds with the stereotypes and tacit values and, hence, the expectations of the other students and faculty. Consequently, depending upon the level of maturation of the gifted child’s social cognition, he or she will begin the process of determining to what extent the school environment is supportive or hostile. In the mind of a young gifted child, he or she will not have the maturity that comes with experience and age to make informed decisions about complex social situations. This can cause young gifted children to internalize all sorts of mixed messages about giftedness and themselves, as described in Chapter 6.

As they progress in school, the degree to which the school environment is an anti-intellectual one will have an effect on gifted students’ feelings of potential stigmatization. Many will develop social coping behaviors to try to create and maintain the social latitude they desire. The social coping behaviors can range from somewhat neutral behavior like sitting quietly, to underachieving. The net effect of experiencing mixed messages and anti-intellectual environments is the feeling of being different or aberrant.

When students with gifts and talents mature, being gifted is part of who they are as people. For many, it is very much a defining part of their identity. In schools that take academic matters seriously, they can thrive. Unfortunately, many of our schools are, in fact, anti-intellectual settings (Howley et al., 2017). It should be noted that the size of school matters here—larger urban and suburban schools create social environments that are not very porous. Moving between different social groups can be difficult, so many students with gifts and talents employ social coping strategies that can have negative impacts on their academic success. For example, underachievement or “going underground” can be the result of strategies for blending in or disidentifying.

Meanwhile, all of the typical developmental issues that affect school-aged children are also affecting gifted students. Giftedness becomes another way that the students appear nonmodal in the eyes of others, and in their own self-assessment. During adolescence, fitting in and standing out are often desired at the same time. Other examples of adolescent issues include wanting to be special while needing to feel the same as other students or feeling like one does not have any intellectual peers close to or the same as one’s age. Because many schools seem to value sports more than academics, the groups with the lowest social status in many secondary schools are nonathletes who are studious (Brown & Steinberg, 1990; J. Cross, 2015; Tannenbaum, 1962). These examples make friendship formation difficult and often lead to limited prosocial outlets, a common finding in the psychological autopsies of gifted students who killed themselves (Cross et al., 2002).

It seems quite likely that the most pervasive threat to mental health of gifted students in school is the mismatch between the school’s curriculum and the students’ academic needs. Attending schools for years and constantly having this experience creates all sorts of problems for them. Although we have never actually seen a school that creates learning conditions wherein all students, including those who are gifted, operate at 100% capacity day in and day out, we estimate that many students who are gifted operate at less than 50% of their capacity for many years of their educational careers. This can be very frustrating for students with gifts and talents.

Over the years, we have created a number of recommendations that we believe help raise a well-adjusted gifted child (e.g., J. Cross & Cross, 2015b; Cross, 2017). At the center of many of our recommendations is Erik Erikson’s (1963) Theory of Psychosocial Development. This theory offers a powerful explanation for the influence of childhood experience on later psychological functioning. Not only is it useful for parents to consider as they attempt to support their child’s developing ego, Erikson’s theory can also help to address psychosocial development in the later years. We have created a School-based Psychosocial Curriculum Model (SPCM; Cross & Cross, 2017a; Cross, Cross, & Andersen, 2017) based on Erikson’s theory that may be used to help in the positive psychological development of students with gifts and talents. The likelihood of suicidal behaviors is reduced when these students have the psychological resources that come from a strong ego.

According to Erikson’s (1963) theory, all people go through psychological crises, which come about as their physiology and psychological awareness comes into conflict with their environment. These crises arise in stages, with knowledge about oneself and the social world accumulating across the lifespan (see Table 13). Successful negotiation of the crisis results in a “favorable ratio” (Erikson, 1963, p. 271), between the opposing forces of the crisis. What is learned in each stage is not concrete and the beliefs one has acquired may be re-examined at any age. For this reason, our SPCM recommends lessons suggested by Erikson’s stages and research on gifted students.

Table 13
Erikson’s (1963) Theory of Psychosocial Development Stages of Crisis

Age	Crisis to be resolved	Virtue
Birth to 1 year	Trust vs. Mistrust	Hope
1 to 3 years	Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt	Will
3 to 6 years (Pre-K–1)	Initiative vs. Guilt	Purpose
6 to 12 years (grades 1–6)	Industry vs. Inferiority	Competence
12 to 20 years (grades 7+)	Identity vs. Role Confusion	Fidelity
20 to 40 years	Intimacy vs. Isolation	Love
40 to 65 years	Generativity vs. Stagnation	Care
65 and older	Integrity vs. Despair	Wisdom

A brief primer on Erikson’s stages gives an indication of the supports that are necessary for developing a healthy ego. The first crisis is Trust vs. Mistrust and it occurs in the first year of life. Newborns have needs that must be fulfilled by their environment. They need to eat and be changed in predictable ways, and they need affectionate human bonds. These experiences will help them build a basic trust in the world. From this they will develop hope for the future. Gifted students who have the essential strength of hope will trust their peers and teachers to have their best interest at heart. Such beliefs may be challenged when they receive mixed messages about their exceptional abilities. Some gifted students may mistrust others, assuming they do not have the student’s best interest in mind with their demands. A little of both trust and mistrust will support the student’s self-advocacy.

During the second stage of Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt (about 1–3 years of age), children are ready to explore their surroundings. If they are unsuccessful due to interference from others, they may develop a sense of shame and doubt in their abilities to act on their own desires. It is no coincidence that the word most reflective of the terrible twos is “No,” coming from both the child and the caregiver. Too many nos, however, can make the child doubtful of his or her ability to act in any way. The successful negotiation of this stage results in willpower. In the next stage of Initiative vs. Guilt (about 3–6 years of age), children move from simply acting to creating plans and then carrying them out. Their imagination allows for all sorts of creative endeavors, but the environment will not always allow these to come to fruition. Their planning often involves others—playmates, siblings, parents—who can help or hinder their success. Frequent frustration can lead to feelings of guilt. Always bending others to one’s will can lead to the opposite—a sense of entitlement or belief in their power over others. Erikson (1963) would recommend a favorable ratio of initiative and guilt. The outcome of this crisis is a sense of purpose. Preschool can contribute greatly to a child’s willingness and ability to take initiative in pursuing the plans they create. The timid gifted student may need encouragement to act on his or her own and the overdemanding gifted student may need lessons in perspective-taking and delaying gratification.

Children need to have success in school activities to develop a sense of competence. To that end, schools are key in providing opportunities for learned skills and productivity for elementary-aged children. During the next crisis of Industry vs. Inferiority (about ages 6–12), children are learning to use the tools that will be valuable to them in adulthood. They need opportunities to prove themselves capable of doing valued activities. In schools, this means they need practice with reading, analyzing, and experimenting. They must have real challenge, too. Erikson (1950/1980) wrote, “Children cannot be fooled by empty praise and condescending encouragement. . . . Their accruing ego identity gains real strength only from wholehearted and consistent recognition of real accomplishment, that is, achievement that has meaning in their culture” (p. 95). If they find they are not capable or are not able to test their abilities, they can develop feelings of inferiority. Too much or too little confidence in one’s abilities will not lead to a healthy ego. Attending a school that does not provide gifted students with an appropriate curriculum may be damaging to one’s developing ego. Especially in the later elementary years, these students need a match between their abilities and the curriculum.

In the crisis of Identity vs. Role Confusion (approximately ages 12–20), adolescents are coming to terms with the person they are and the person they want to be. All the stages before have led them to a recognition of their self in the world, with varying degrees of hope, willpower, purpose, and competence to inform their self-concepts. The early adolescent may explore different identities, trying on new looks, new activities, and new behaviors, just to see how they fit. In the 21st century, this task is extending further into adulthood than it did in Erikson’s day. Adolescents need opportunities to see many admirable adults in various roles during this stage and gifted students need opportunities to explore the possibilities open to them, while still respecting their talents. Successful resolution of this crisis would be a sense of fidelity, of “sameness” between one’s self-concept and how one perceives others to believe he or she is.

In the last stage appropriate for this book, Intimacy vs. Isolation (about ages 20-40), young adults need to develop loving relationships. Being willing to sacrifice one’s time and resources for a passion—be it a person, a talent area, or an institution, for example—is an important psychosocial development. Not successfully negotiating this crisis leaves the person feeling isolated. Gifted students and those who work with and care for them need a realistic understanding of the sacrifices required for their talent development. The cost to parents may be great, but it is not the same as it is for the child.

Healthy egos result when people are hopeful that the environment will provide for them, but are not Pollyanna-ish in expectations that it will; when they believe in their ability to act, but are aware of the need to suppress actions that would negatively impinge on others; when they recognize what is possible and what is realistic; when they are confident, but not overconfident in their abilities; when they feel comfortable with their sense of self; and when they are able to make the sacrifices needed to develop a loving relationship with a person and/or a talent domain.

Parents of young children can consider Erikson’s crises as their children are growing up, but those who are reading this book may be well beyond this part of their child’s development. Counselors are familiar with the topic, however. We will discuss this more in Chapter 10. In schools that are concerned about supporting students’ mental health, psychosocial curricula can be implemented. The SPCM (Cross & Cross, 2017a; Cross, Cross, & Andersen, 2017) can be used to design lessons that address the different crises. For example, issues related to hope can be addressed through lessons in recognizing internal and external resources or self-soothing skill development. By considering how the crises involve the self and others, particularly for gifted students in context, lessons can be created to bolster students’ ego strength. Such curriculum may make its way into gifted programs, as we have learned that psychological health is a critical component of talent development (Subotnik, Olszewski-Kubilius, & Worrell, 2011).

In concert with the strong foundation guided by the work of Erikson, we should be able to help gifted children develop into well-adjusted adults, virtually free from suicidal behavior. Of course, we cannot prevent the correlates of suicide outside of the development of the individual gifted child. For example, a family member of a gifted child could complete suicide. This event can be a precipitating factor (see Table 10, p. 27) to suicidal behavior, but positive psychosocial development may be the protective factor that keeps this gifted student from descending from the top of the spiral. Included in the fifth edition of Tracy’s book entitled On the Social and Emotional Lives of Gifted Students (Cross, 2017) are ideas for effective parenting, teaching, and guidance of students with gifts and talents.

All gifted students should participate from time to time in counseling. Most of the counseling will be educative—teaching prosocial skills, communication skills, how to deal with frustration and stress, and how to wait while other students catch up. Students can learn about what it means to be a gifted student and how hard work and practice are required to develop their potentials into specific talent domains. In secondary school, they will need considerable college and career counseling. In addition to emphasizing college and career counseling, they will also benefit from having opportunities to discuss friendships and other important relationships. This connection with a well-trained counselor or psychologist will ease the struggle of growing up gifted in our anti-intellectual culture. More serious problems can be identified early and dealt with before they become too serious.

Experience tells us that students with gifts and talents must spend some time together. The amount of time that is ideal is unclear, but time together helps with the feelings of being different that can be troubling during secondary school. Time in summer residential programs can be especially helpful in developing a positive self-concept and possible friendships. The cost of many such programs can be prohibitive, but scholarships may be available. The Internet also provides opportunities to connect students with others who have similar interests. These others may not be the same age as the student. It is imperative that online relationships be monitored carefully. Carefully cultivating appropriate relationships with someone who “gets” a student with gifts and talents, whether a same- or different-aged person, can result in rewarding psychological connectedness that may not be possible in one’s school, community, or even family.

KEY POINTS

images Due to their endogenous characteristics, gifted students encounter challenges to norms early, and often find themselves in complex social situations.

images Gifted students often develop social coping behaviors to protect themselves from mixed messages or anti-intellectual environments.

images Some social coping strategies, such as underachievement or going underground, can have negative impacts on students’ academic success.

images During adolescence, fitting in and standing out are often desired at the same time.

images The most pervasive threat to mental health of gifted students in school is the mismatch between the school’s curriculum and the students’ academic needs. As a result, many gifted students operate at less than 50% of their capacity, causing frustration and other problems.

images Erik Erikson’s (1963) Theory of Psychosocial Dev-elopment provides the age ranges at which differing crises must be resolved successfully to develop a healthy ego.

images Preschools can contribute greatly to development of the sense of purpose in 3–6-year-olds by helping them to successfully internalize initiative and some control in their lives.

images Schools play a key role in providing opportunities for learned skills and productivity, and can offer possibilities for success in school activities to develop industriousness.

images Although we cannot prevent the correlates of suicide outside of the development of the individual gifted child, we can provide helpful ideas and guidelines for effective parenting and teaching of gifted students.

images All gifted students should participate in counseling, where they can learn about what it means to be gifted, discuss friendships and other important relationships, and receive college and career advice. Counseling will also provide a chance to identify and work through more serious problems at an early stage.

images When teachers, counselors, and parents work together on the prevention of suicidal behavior of students with gifts and talents, the odds improve dramatically.