Introduction

‘To order and conduct a dinner is given only to fine gastronomes of delicate and cultivated tastes. An able host is as rare as a good cook.’ LUCIEN TENDRET

Many of the events of our lives are made more memorable because we gather together with those we love to enjoy a meal, conversation and laughter. Whatever the occasion, be it a holiday dinner, Sunday brunch or casual lunch, the table is the gathering point. When beautifully set, it provides an inviting environment where people can relax and enjoy each other’s company.

For the modern hostess, time pressure and budget constraints often get in the way of her desire to entertain, so this book has been written with just that in mind. It’s filled with ideas for simple table settings that will inspire you to make the most of every occasion and help you create wonderful memories of times shared with friends and family around your dining table.

We have suggested different occasions and ‘themes’, but we encourage you to generate ideas that will suit your own needs. We’ve suggested substitutes and alternatives that will help you stay within your budget, as well as adapt the themes to different occasions. Our desire is that these creative ideas will allow you to enjoy every moment as you prepare to warmly welcome guests to your home.

HOW TO BE A GREAT HOSTESS

You’ve decided who to invite and you’re working on the menu, but what else can you do to make sure the occasion is a success? There are a few simple tricks to being a good hostess, and they are not hard to learn.

  1. Be prepared: The hostess sets the tone for any occasion. If you’re not well prepared you will feel stressed and anxious. If you’re stressed, your guests will be too, which means no one will have much fun. Be ready to greet your guests as they arrive. They have made the effort to get to your home at a stipulated time, so don’t keep them waiting. Factor into your planning the time you need to get yourself ready. Use our planning and shopping guides (see page 9 & 10) to make sure you are as prepared as possible before the first guests arrive.
  2. Be present: If you’re running off to the kitchen every five minutes you won’t spend enough time with your guests, which negates the whole point of getting together. Plan well, so that you can spend time with your guests.
  3. Enjoy yourself: Relax. Partake. If you want your guests to have a relaxed, fun evening, you have to be in that frame of mind too.
  4. Be aware: At least at first... While people are mingling, keep an eye on their glasses and plates. When they’re empty, offer to replenish. Try to delegate the task of barman to your husband or partner or a trusted friend so that you have one less thing to think about and your guests are taken care of.
  5. Don’t tidy up: Unless your guests have overstayed their welcome and it’s a desperate attempt to get them out of the door and on their way home, don’t tidy up around people; it is very unwelcoming and gives the impression you’d rather they weren’t there anymore. It’s fine to take plates off the table in preparation for the next course but whatever you do, don’t start washing the dishes and don’t allow your guests to wash dishes either.

GETTING ORGANISED

It’s vital that you organise your time efficiently so that you can relax and enjoy the occasion you’ve planned. The first thing you need to do is make a list of what needs to be done and when. A list will help to guide you on the day when things are a little more frantic and you may not be as focused as you should be.

Put it all down on paper

Once you have decided on a menu, make a copy of each recipe and use it to compile a list of all the ingredients you need for each dish. From there, make a shopping list (or two or three). Check ingredients you should already have, like herbs, spices, salt and pepper, to make sure you won’t run out before the party.

‘Every house where love abides and friendship is a guest, is surely home, and home sweet home, for there the heart can rest.’ HENRY VAN DYKE

More lists to make

List all the non-food items you need to buy, such as candles, oil for lamps, paper serviettes and whatever décor items you need to carry your theme through and enhance your table settings.

Make another list of everything you need to do, such as wash glasses and seldom-used crockery, locate items that you may have loaned out or left at a friend’s house, or have tablecloths laundered and pressed. You’ll need to refer to this list in the days leading up to your party.

Also take stock of any cutlery, crockery, glassware or cooking equipment you might need to borrow and add the items to the appropriate list.

The good news is that this is probably the hardest part of planning your event. Once your lists are made, then all you really need is some time.

PARTY PLANNING CHECKLIST GUIDE

Pre-dinner drinks and snacks: what you will need

Dinner: What you will need

Serving: What you will need

Drinks and bar supplies

Take stock of bar supplies and decide what you’re going to buy and what you may want to ask people to bring. Drinks include wine, spirits, liqueurs, beer, cider and mixers as well as bottled water and non-alcoholic soft drinks or juices. Bar supplies include water jugs, glasses, tot measures, cocktail shakers, knives and cutting boards, as well as ice and garnishes like olives, lemons or limes.

Consolidating your lists

Make separate shopping lists, or create a single list with the following headings:

Your final task is to prepare a schedule or timeline of what you need to do in the weeks, days and hours leading up to your party (see opposite page). This can also include a schedule of what to cook when (that is, the sequence in which you need to prepare and cook the different items in order to get everything on the table at the same time and still hot).

Planning the Party

Data: __________________

Guests: __________________

Theme: __________________

Menu

Hors d’oeuvres: __________________

Cocktails and pre-dinner drinks: __________________

First (starter) course: __________________

Second course: __________________

Main course: __________________

Side dishes: __________________

Bread: __________________

Salads: __________________

Dessert/Cheese: __________________

Coffee/Tea: __________________

After-dinner drinks: __________________

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Americano

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Cappuccino

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Espresso

Shopping List

Fruit, vegetables: __________________

Dairy, cheeses: __________________

Groceries: __________________

Bakery, breads, desserts: __________________

Meat, poultry, fish: __________________

Wine and liquors: __________________

Flowers: __________________

Special orders (from the butcher, fishmonger, etc): __________________

YOUR PARTY SCHEDULE COULD LOOK LIKE THIS

3 Weeks before

2 Weeks before

1 Week before

3 Days before

2 Days before

1 Day before

DAY OF PARTY

Morning

Afternoon

PREPARATION TIPS

INVITING YOUR GUESTS

When inviting guests to an event, provide enough detail to avoid any awkwardness or misunderstandings. For example, if it’s an informal outdoor event, guests won’t want to be overdressed, but if you’re putting special effort into a celebratory dinner, you’d probably like your guests to dress for the occasion.

Indicate a dress code if you think it’s necessary. If you’d like people to get into the mood of a specific theme, tell them what it is!

Your invitation should also convey things like whether or not children are welcome, whether you expect guests to bring their own drinks, or whether you’d like people to contribute part of the meal.

If you’re celebrating something, make sure you’re clear about this too, as friends may want to bring a gift or make a meaningful contribution to the occasion.

Years ago, written invitations were posted and replies came by mail or phone. Then it became acceptable to contact guests by phone. Now text messages or e-mails often suffice. Always follow phone calls with a written confirmation of the date, time and venue.

CHOOSING A THEME AND A SETTING FOR THE OCCASION

Not all parties have to be themed and your table setting certainly doesn’t have to ‘match’ an occasion. However it’s become quite popular to hold themed parties for special birthdays and other celebrations. Having a theme in mind also helps to guide the planning process.

Choose a theme that will set the mood. For example, if you’re celebrating a graduation or promotion, choose something festive and colourful that will encourage the guests to join in the fun. A lively Mexican Tequila party or a retro rock ‘n roll theme will have people kicking up their heels in no time.

But consider the age and personality of your guests before you decide. An over-the-top Vegas-themed party might be suitable for a singles crowd or a bachelor party but it probably wouldn’t suit a large family celebration. The rule of thumb is that you don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable or out of place, but you also don’t want your guests to be bored.

There is no shortage of ideas for themed parties (use the Internet for inspiration). Just remember that if you do choose to go with a theme, you could spend a lot more money on décor than you normally would, so try to improvise where possible,

For instance, for an inexpensive Halloween party, just inject hints of orange, yellow and black into the flowers and table décor. A baby shower doesn’t need miniature dummies and baby bottles scattered everywhere; soft whites and pastels will create the desired atmosphere without making your guests feel as if they’ve arrived on the set of a cartoon show.

Think about how much time, effort and money you want to put into your table settings and party décor. Often, simplicity is key. Understated elegance can be created just by picking a few roses from your garden and popping them into vases you already own.

Try looking at your living space a little differently. I sometimes move my furniture around when I entertain, to help create a specific mood. Consider moving your table closer to the fireplace in winter, or onto the patio to catch a cooling breeze on a hot summer night.

If you’ve planned a very festive occasion, find the place in your home that will lend itself to an energetic, even rowdy, event. Dare to be a bit different; you don’t always have to eat in the dining room!

Consider ‘forgotten spaces’. I know someone who has a lovely, but seldom appreciated, tree at the bottom of their garden and for a summer dinner party I encouraged them to carry their large dining table outside and set it beneath the tree. Their guests were pleasantly surprised by an alfresco evening that turned out to be as stylish and elegant as the hostess intended.

A QUICK GUIDE TO TABLEWARE

Cutlery

Whether you call it flatware or silverware, you should know how to use it, as table setting blunders can be embarrassing. Depending on the occasion, you may not need everything to match.

If you’re going for a very elegant or formal look and don’t have enough matching cutlery, borrow additional pieces from someone who has a lovely set. If you use two or more sets, just make sure the items at each place setting match.

If you bring the dessert cutlery to the table with the dessert plates, it need not match the dinner cutlery.

Whether you are sending invitations by SMS, e-mail or traditional letter, it is important to include as much relevant information as possible, without being too wordy. Here are a few examples you can adapt to your own needs.

Vanessa and I would love you to join us for her 30th birthday party on Saturday 25 June at our house. Cocktails at 7pm followed by dinner. We’ll provide a DVD and snacks for the children if you want to bring them along. Wear black or white. Love Duncan.

Please join us for a casual braai on Saturday. Bring your own drinks, we’ll provide the rest. We’ll light the fire at 6pm. Children welcome.

Please join us for Mark’s graduation celebration at 5 Vincent Street on Friday 3 March at 8pm. Snacks and cocktails will be served. A car guard will watch vehicles parked outside. Regret no children.

IT’S TIME TO PARTY!
Mark is graduating and we’d love you to celebrate with us on Friday 3 March at 5 Vincent Street. This cocktail evening promises to be super special so please let us know if you can make it. Regret adults only. A car guard will watch your vehicles. Love Katie.

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Setting the table

Your place settings must be equal distance apart and you should allow enough elbow room for guests to eat comfortably. A good guideline is about 60cm from the centre of one plate to the centre of the next person’s plate. Place cutlery 2–3cm from the edge of the table and space it evenly. Centre the serviette on the dinner plate or place it to the left of the forks. Cutlery that is used first is placed on the outside and guests work their way towards the centre.

Forks: For informal place settings, place two forks to the left; a salad (starter) fork on the outside and dinner fork on the inside. No more than three forks should be put out at a time.

Knives: Set on the right-hand side. The outside knife is used first and no more than two knives are set out. Only provide a butter knife if you are serving bread. Bread plates go on the left, with the butter knife on top.

Spoons: If soup spoons are needed, set them to the right of the knives. If soup is not being served, you can place a teaspoon next to the knife. Dessert spoons are a different shape to soup spoons. Place the dessert spoon above the dinner plate (if you have a dessert fork, place it head to toe with the spoon).

Glasses: Arrange these according to size, so that small glasses are not hidden behind larger ones. Set glasses above the knives, in order of use. Usually this means the water glass to the left, with the red and white wine glasses to its right.

Helpful hints:

HINTS AND TIPS FOR HOSTESSES

To host a successful party you need to know how to be a good hostess. Always introduce people who don’t know each other. Don’t just rattle off a bunch of names, as people never remember names. Put individuals into some sort of context. For instance you can introduce Max and John to one another by saying “Max, this is my friend John, the engineer. He’s just started working at Freeshed Holdings. John, Max is married to Lucy over there and they’ve recently moved into a house they built themselves”. This gives strangers an immediate point of reference from which they can continue. John can then enquire about Max’s new house and how the building went and Max will be able to ask John about his new job and why he left his old one.

Before dinner, you must mingle and mix. Don’t get stuck in the kitchen or with just one guest. Chat to everyone and make sure they are having fun. If anyone seems to be standing on their own, introduce them to a group of people.

Offer to replenish people’s drinks or point them in the direction of the drinks table where they can help themselves. You can also take a bottle of wine over to a group of people and ask someone to take charge of topping up drinks.