During the Nine Dots activity, I asked you to consider whether the thoughts that you were having about yourself and about the puzzle were kind or unkind (see chapter 16). Take a moment now to remember what thoughts appeared as you worked on the puzzle…
Now do your best to estimate the percentage of thoughts that were
If you’re like most people, your percentages skew toward unkind and discouraging. I have a nickname for that type of inner mental chatter: Unkind Mind. This type of thinking, which can be very repetitive, is judgmental, bossy, and crabby. Unkind Mind says things like I can’t do this, I’m stupid, Math is stupid, or I’m going to fail. This voice also tends to make things seem worse than they are by exaggerating, being dramatic, and distorting the truth—saying things like This is impossible, I’m hideously ugly, Everybody hates me, or I am the dumbest kid in the class. Unkind Mind also often judges other people or situations with statements like He’s a jerk or History is dumb.
Now, here’s the most important thing to know about Unkind Mind: You don’t need to believe Unkind Mind or take what it says personally. Practice seeing where Unkind Mind lies, gossips, or exaggerates.