It can be helpful to understand that each of us tends to have habits, certain ways we usually deal with our feelings. Without mindfulness, most of us tend to live within a fairly narrow range along the continuum from ignoring (suppressing) feelings to being overwhelmed (controlled) by them. Take a moment and consider what you tend to do with intense feelings.
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Ignoring feelings |
Being overwhelmed by feelings |
For those of us who usually ignore and suppress our feelings, the Befriending Feelings practice (in chapter 24) can support us in bringing kindness and curiosity to our emotions, making us more emotionally intelligent. For those of us who tend to be flooded and overwhelmed by our feelings, it can be helpful to take some time to really settle into the Still Quiet Place before we do the Befriending Feelings practice. With practice, we can all learn to have our feelings (most of the time) without our feelings having us. Ultimately, this allows us to live our lives in ways we feel good about.