Using one of your examples from the What Stresses You Out? activity (in chapter 3) or a new example, calculate your suffering score for a painful or unpleasant event in your life. Again, you can use the equation
Use a scale of 1 to 10 for both pain (unpleasantness) and resistance (wanting things to be different). For pain, 1 means not very painful or upsetting, and 10 means extremely upsetting. For resistance, 1 means you’d prefer something to be different, and 10 means you don’t want to live with things the way they are.
I can’t do it.This sucks. This is so unfair. I should… They shouldn’t…I’ll give it a try. This is the way it is. Sometimes life is unfair. I will… Even though I’m not happy about, I realize they won’t…Has your resistance level changed? If your resistance is lower, recalculate your suffering score with the equation
The following practices will support you in befriending your feelings. In time, you will develop the ability to have your feelings without your feelings having you. Acknowledging your feelings with an attitude of kindness and curiosity is often a first step in moving through unpleasant, difficult, and painful situations. Another useful approach is to use the equation Suffering = Pain x Resistance to consider how your habits of thinking and feeling may be increasing your suffering.
Mindfulness is ~
Honest. It asks us to be true to our experience.