1-day ticket for one park: $132 adults, $127 kids 3–9Universal Orlando, SeaWorld & beyond
Disney is only half the story. Less than half, really, when you consider that while it maintains four parks, you’ll find another four major theme parks, plus three more water parks, in the same vicinity. Universal has come of age, and Comcast, its parent company, is pouring billions of dollars into rapidly putting it on equal footing with the Mouse.
Universal is booming. Since 2009, attendance has soared more than 80%—while Disney attendance has fallen 13%. Expansion is non-stop. In 2017, it added a new water slide park, Volcano Bay, and next year, it opens yet another hotel, its eighth. Universal’s parks (see the inside back cover for a resort map) entice 19.7 million combined visits each year, on par with the Magic Kingdom. Few people thought it would get this huge. One factor: In 2014, Diagon Alley in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter turned the resort into a destination that people toured over 2 or 3 days rather than just 1. Universal operates best (but not exclusively) on the resort model—stay here, play here—and it helps that its campus is easier to roam than Disney’s: It’s walkable or traversed by quick, free ferries, so you can park your car and forget about it.
The opening of Universal Studios in 1990 heralded a new era for Orlando tourism. Instead of merely duplicating its original Hollywood location, which is grafted onto a historic movie studio lot, Universal Orlando built an all-day theme park. It was famously troubled then, and it’s impossible to imagine how much it has changed. Much was removed to make way for the second draft: a reproduction of the Psycho house, colossal rides about King Kong and Jaws, an in-depth breakdown of Alfred Hitchcock’s directorial tricks, a studio for Nickelodeon, a major exploration of how to produce Murder, She Wrote (!!), a Hard Rock Cafe in the shape of a giant guitar. Still, there was little doubt that Universal’s innovations, when they worked, raised the bar. A chief advance was that many of its attractions were indoors—even the thrill rides. Given Florida’s scorching sun and unpredictable rains, this leap shouldn’t have been as novel as it was. While Disney, still working on a California model, allowed its guests to twiddle thumbs in the cruel outdoors as they waited, Universal’s multistage queuing system kept them entertained and air-conditioned. Even the covered parking garages at Universal Orlando (shared by the parks and CityWalk) were novel for Florida.
Throughout the 1990s, Universal’s modest one-park setup meant it mostly grabbed visitors on day trips from Disney. That changed in 1999, when a second, $2.6-billion park, Islands of Adventure, made its dazzling debut. Universal’s domain has further expanded to include the nightlife district CityWalk, hotels, and last summer, its own water slide park. Within a few years, Universal will open two more hotels, for a total of eight, across I-4 where the Wet ’n Wild water park used to be. And Universal owns enough land by the Convention Center to build yet another theme park.
Universal had another idea Disney wishes it had come up with first: If you want to see both Wizarding World of Harry Potter areas, you have to purchase a ticket to both of its parks. It was evil genius.
Unless crowds are insanely huge such as before Halloween Horror Nights (p. 276) or during Christmas week, the two main parks take about 2 days to adequately see. Most of the time, lines are nowhere near as long as they are at Disney. With a two-park pass and a willingness to bypass lesser attractions, you could see only highlights in a marathon day, provided at least one of the parks stays open until 9 or 10pm. (If you want to see Volcano Bay, described on p. 145, you need at least a third day.) In any event, bopping between the two theme parks all day is quick and easy since their entrances are a 5-minute stroll apart or you can take the incredible Hogwarts Express connecting train.
Tickets to Universal’s Parks
Tickets for both parks cost the same. While both Disney and Universal now charge more on busy days, Universal gives you a $20 discount if you buy multi-day tickets online, so it’s crucial you do so. Prices go up early in the year.
Gate pricing for one-day tickets is dynamic and goes higher when it’s busy, but on quiet days (“Value” class) it’s $123 adult and $112 kids 3–9. You can predict the cost for your dates at the official site www.universalticketcalendar.com.
Non-Value prices at the gate:
1-day ticket for one park: $132 adults, $127 kids 3–9
1-day park-to-park ticket: $191 adults, $185 kids 3–9 (i.e., $59 more)
2 days, one park/two parks daily: $240/$304 adults, $229/$293 kids 3–9
3 days, one park/two parks daily: $261/$325 adults, $250/$314 kids 3–9
4 days, one park/two parks daily: $272/$341 adults, $261/$330 kids 3–9
3 parks, park-to-park access (including Volcano Bay): 2 days $362 adults/$341 kids; 3 days $383/$373; 4 days $410/$400
To ride the Hogwarts Express train that links the two parks, you must have a park-to-park ticket. If you buy a one-park ticket and change your mind midway through the day, there are ticket kiosks at the Hogwarts Express train stations that simply charge you the difference in price for a park-to-park ticket.
contacting Universal
General information: www.universalorlando.com; 
407/363-8000
Guest services: 407/224-4233
Hotel reservations: 888/273-1311
Dining reservations: 407/224-3663
Vacation packages: www.universalorlandovacations.com; 877/801-9720
Lost and found: 407/224-4233, option 2
Twitter: tag @UniversalORL or #AskUniversal—it responds quickly
HOPPING THE LINES Like Disney’s Fastpass+ but without the hassle of pre-planning, Universal Express Pass allows guests to use a separate entrance queue that is dramatically shorter than the “Standby” one, reducing wait times to minutes; your ticket is scanned by an employee. Unlike Disney’s democratic Fastpass+, Express is for sale; the busier the park is, the more it costs, and the price shoots up at midnight the day it’s valid to encourage advance purchase. Guests can buy an Express Plus pass online with their admission, at the gate, and at shops. There is one set of dynamic prices that allows one-time-per-ride use ($120 on busy days), another price for unlimited re-rides (from $150 for one park, from $160 for both—again, at peak times that rises to as much as double). The only major rides excluded are three of the most popular: Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, Escape from Gringotts, and the Hogwarts Express (and we’re guessing the new coaster won’t be included either). Using this is expensive, but it enables you to see both Universal parks in a single day and consequently spend less in tickets and see more of Orlando. Bundles that include park tickets with Express are sold. The most expensive, but effective way, to cut the lines is the VIP Experience (
866/346-9350), on which there is no waiting for rides. Non-private tours (with up to 12 people you might not know) will visit 10–12 attractions ($189–$350 plus admission, includes a counter-service lunch and valet parking); private guided tours take you anywhere you want, even if it’s Forbidden Journey, without waiting (up to $3,500 for up to five people, $400 for each additional person, table-service lunch included). There is also a final, simpler way to get an Express Pass: Guests of the Portofino Bay, Hard Rock Hotel, and Royal Pacific can use their key cards for free Express access (a great value add when you consider a double room houses four people).
At the Rental Services window, you can get the Ride Reservations device. You’re given a “U-bot” pager that lists the next available entry at each attraction; the appointments reflect current wait time, so essentially, the system gives you a virtual place in line. You schedule visits (only one at any moment) by pressing buttons, and it vibrates when it’s time. It’s $40–$50 per park to make one reservation per ride; one device can be used for up to 6 people. Frankly, Express is less fuss and a better value.
What the Basics cost at Universal’s Two Parks
Parking: $22 (free after 6pm); $35 for closer “preferred” spaces; $45 for all-day valet
Single strollers: $15 per day
Double strollers: $25 per day
Kiddie Car (a stroller with a dummy steering wheel): $18; $28 double
Wheelchair: $12
ECV (electric convenience vehicle): $50 + $50 deposit (add $20 for canopy)
Lockers: $10 per day small (multi-entry)
Poncho: $10 adult; $9 kids
Regular soda: $3.40
Water: $3
Beer: $6.50–$7
Universal also has photographers (not as many as Disney) on hand to take your photo at big moments. Its My Universal Photos works a lot like Disney’s PhotoPass but with fewer roaming photographers: 1 day is $80, 3 days is $100, and that includes digital copies of everything and two printed images. You can also check your images as you collect them using an app.
Universal has free in-park Wi-Fi, and its free Official Universal Orlando Resort App provides wait times, showtimes, maps, and walking directions. You can buy online-discounted tickets using it, too.
WHAT TO WEAR Dress small children in bathing suits for a day at Universal Studios because Kidzone will get them soaked. At Islands of Adventure, three of the best adult rides are water-based.
Universal Studios Florida
Universal Studios 
, which had 10.2 million visitors in 2017, within a half-million visitors of Disney’s least popular park (Hollywood Studios), usually opens at 9am, and in winter months hours end at around dinnertime. In summer, it’s open as late as 10pm. After you get your car parked ($20 and up in a mostly covered structure) and submit to security checks, take the covered sidewalks to CityWalk and head to the right. Pause now at the giant, rotating globe for the requisite photo op, because the sun is in your favor for photographs in the morning, but not later.
They pair your fingerprint to your ticket. The plaza after the turnstiles is where you take care of business. Strollers and wheelchairs are obtained to the left, and lockers are rented to the right. (You may bring your stroller to the other park within 2 hr. of closing; if you’re taking the Hogwarts Express, there’s a place to drop it off before boarding and another kiosk for getting a new one at Islands of Adventure.) Make sure to grab a free park map here; if you forget, the stores also stock them.
Although there are technically themed areas within the park, few are strictly defined. They fall into two general zones. Everyone enters along the main avenue of the simulated backlot (including Production Central, Hollywood, and New York), which contains many of the behind-the-scenes attractions, while the elongated lagoon stretches off to the right, encircled by many of the thrill-based rides in San Francisco, Springfield, World Expo, and Woody Woodpecker’s Kidzone. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter—Diagon Alley is on the far side of the lagoon.
Empty Those Pockets! |
Lawyers have had their way with the fun: The fast rides now forbid loose articles of any kind. That includes phones, keys, lipstick—even coins. Everything but paper! And you may not leave your stuff on the platform while you ride, either. Metal detectors have been set up to make sure you comply. Leave your stuff at the hotel, use the free lockers by attraction entrances (very crowded, a real pain), or rent a locker at the front of either park.
Some days (confirm times about a month ahead on its website, on its app, or when you grab your map at the front gate), Universal sends out its Superstar Parade (the map prints the times), packed with children’s characters such as SpongeBob SquarePants, Dora, Diego, Gru, and the Minions. It stops by Mel’s Drive-In and Battery Park so kids can meet them. After dark, if the park’s open then, the water sometimes hosts the 18-minute Cinematic Celebration, a spectacle spotlighting the popular franchises from the parks with water screens, 120 Bellagio-style power fountains, projection mapping, and a few pyrotechnics. The park opposite Mel’s Diner is the best vantage point for it.
Production Central
The area along the entry avenue (called both Plaza of the Stars and 57th St.) and to its left is collectively marked on maps as Production Central, but who are they kidding? Nowadays, those soundstages are used mostly for the odd local commercial and for haunted houses at Universal’s fiendishly popular Halloween event.
The initial dream was much bigger. When the park was built, it was intended to be more like the original Hollywood location, where an amusement area grew up around a working studio. Newspapers at the time trumpeted Orlando as “Hollywood of the East” because year-round production could be accomplished here and at Disney–MGM Studios, and millions of tourists could be a part of the process. One of Universal’s soundstages housed a working TV studio for Nickelodeon, the kids’ cable channel, and the game show Double Dare plucked families out of the park to compete on air. In front of the studio, a geyser of “green slime” (actually green water) gurgled in tribute to the Canadian show You Can’t Do That on Television that helped make the channel’s fortunes. (Today, that stage houses the equally messy Blue Man Group.) But the plan never took. It wasn’t cost-effective to move productions here, celebrities didn’t relish working in a theme park, and state tax credits were often spotty.
The first block of Production Central is mostly shops, including the largest gift shop in the park, Universal Studios Store, on the left. Across from that are the tempting Art Deco buildings of Rodeo Drive, the spine of the Hollywood area and for my money the prettiest part of the park.
Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit 
RIDE This is one advanced train: The 17-story height, vertical climb, hill-like loop, and near misses are just the start of it. Most advanced are its cars, outfitted with LEDs and in-seat speakers. Riders personalize their trip on screens embedded in the beltlike safety restraint, choosing the song that will play during the trip. Pick from a broad menu including country, rap, rock, and disco, but if you don’t pick a song, it’ll choose one for you. When the ride’s over, you can buy a movie of it, along with your soundtrack. Lockers are required for loose items, but they’re free for the wait time plus 20 minutes. Single riders get their own line, and it moves quickly. (This is the coaster where Lisa Kudrow and Ellie Kemper had their climactic mother-daughter reunion scene in the second-season finale of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; but since Kemper was pregnant, they actually shot it on a soundstage with a green screen. Good thing; it’s getting bumpy as it ages!) Rockin’. Strategy: Don’t close the safety bar too tightly! You’ll have trouble breathing. And if you ride around noon, the lift hill will beam the sun straight into your eyes. Tip: There are “secret” songs not listed in the consoles. Google them ahead of time to get the code numbers, then while you’re still in the train station, hold down the coaster logo for 10 seconds to unlock the number pad for them.
Despicable Me Minion Mayhem 
RIDE The movies, if you don’t know them, star a crotchety mad genius, Gru (voiced by Steve Carell), and his horde of nearly identical yellow henchmen (the Minions); their ride gives the little guys ample opportunity for some cartoon violence and giggly gags. The kid-friendly show/move-in-place ride takes place in a theater full of individual open-air ride platforms that have all the characteristics of motion simulators except claustrophobia. Strategy: Those prone to motion sickness can request a car that doesn’t move at all—there’s often a separate marked entrance for those cars.
Shrek 4-D SHOW The high-priced voices of the movie characters (Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy) star in a snarky 12-minute, 3-D movie-cum-spectacle—filmed in “OgreVision.” John Lithgow plays the ghost of the evil Lord Farquaad, who crashes Shrek and Fiona’s honeymoon at Fairytale Falls with a few dastardly deeds. The chairs look like standard theater seats but they’re tricked-up to goose sensations—don’t worry; it won’t make you ill. Well, unless fart jokes gross you out. It’s a good one to do when feet start aching, although the line can build in the afternoon. Strategy: Because the entertaining preshow is just as long as the movie, the Express Pass doesn’t seem to buy you very much time. After the exit, visit Donkey’s Photo Finish, featuring an interactive, robotic version of the movie’s smart ass in his own stall; he chats with kids and poses.
Transformers: The Ride—3D RIDE This East Coast version of a ride that first appeared at Universal Studios Hollywood repeats the technology and basic vehicle design of the gentler Adventures of Spider-Man next door at Islands of Adventure—that is, motion-simulator cars travel among sense-tricking rooms with 3-D projections. The difference is that here, the show is pumped up with crisper animation, clearer sounds, and a whole lot of machine-on-machine violence and military-grade weaponry. But at heart, no matter how impressive the tech is, Transformers is still a version of Spider-Man, down to key plot points. The mayhem is so frenetic you can’t always tell which Transformer is which, but then again, you can’t in the movies, either, so it hardly matters. You’ll emerge feeling like you survived a pretty, 4-minute car crash. Strategy: The clearest view is in the front row, and there’s a fast-moving single-rider line.
Don’t miss if you’re 6: Curious George Goes to Town
Don’t miss if you’re 16: Springfield
Requisite photo op: The rotating Universal globe out front
Food you can only get here: Butterbeer ice cream and Fishy Green Ale, Diagon Alley; Flaming Moe’s and Duff Beer, Springfield
The most crowded, so go early: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter—Diagon Alley
Skippable: Fear Factor Live
Biggest thrill: Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts
Best show: Animal Actors on Location!
Where to find peace: On the lagoon
New York
When there’s a park on your right, you’ve entered the New York area. In a display of geographic acrobatics, the park is an imitation of San Francisco’s Union Square while straight ahead, at the end of 57th Street (the main entry avenue) is a little cul-de-sac that looks, through a camera lens, like Manhattan—except for the roller coaster that keeps roaring through.
The rest of the New York section is gussied up to look like the tenements of the Lower East Side or Greenwich Village and is worth a few photos. A few street performances crop up all day here: actors jamming like The Blues Brothers; Marilyn Monroe with (weirdly) her backup girls the Diamond Bellas; and the powerhouse belters Sing It!.
Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon 
RIDE This grandma-appropriate theater-based attraction was borne of synergy—The Tonight Show airs on NBC, Universal Orlando’s corporate cousin. The four-minute adventure, which hammers you with the show’s running characters and jiggles your bench in motion simulation, starts in a pitch-perfect simulation of Rockefeller Center before devolving into a rollicking and geographically-challenged high-speed trip through the streets of Manhattan and the imagination of Jimmy Fallon, who spouts puns as you go. The motion won’t make you throw up, but Fallon’s smarm might. Named “Most Likely to Feel Outdated Soon” by Frommer’s. You can use the Universal app or the kiosk out front to reserve a time to ride, although it’s rarely crowded enough to need to. The waiting area is confusing—instead of a queue, you get a colored card and you must wait for the sconce lights to change to that color—use the time to look at old Tonight Show memorabilia such as Johnny Carson’s Carnac the Magnificent turban.
Revenge of the Mummy RIDE This brilliant attraction has an easy start but a exuberant finish: Part dark ride, part coaster, it goes backward and forward, twists on a turntable, and even spends a harrowing moment stalled in a room as the ceiling crawls with fire. (It doesn’t go upside-down.) To say much more would give away some clever shocks. I’ve told you what you need to know, except that it’s one of the best rides in this park, and it’s miles better than the cheaper version at Universal in Los Angeles. Strategy: You must put loose articles in the lockers to the right of the entrance—they’re free for the posted ride time plus 20 minutes, but after that they cost $3 every half-hour. There are three lines: express, standby, and single; there’s no way to see if the single line is faster until you’re deep in the building.
San Francisco
The restaurants in this section are higher-toned than elsewhere in the park. Several times a day, the drumming construction studs known as The Beat Builders jam out on the scaffolding opposite Fast & Furious.
Fast & Furious—Supercharged RIDE You’ll be able to feel the simulated thrill of a freeway car chase without moving so much as a foot on this overly macho import from Universal Studios Hollywood. The setup is that you’re VIPs trying to get to a party on time . . . exactly like a certain rockin’ roller coaster at Disney’s Hollywood Studios (hmmm). Once you leave the loading area on the tramlike “party bus,” motion simulator technology and crisp lateral projections collide—so that you don’t have to. It offers timed “virtual line” ride reservations via the Universal app and a kiosk out front. It’s also one of the rides where you can pass time in the queue by whipping out the Universal app and playing a The Fast and Furious trivia game. Verdict: Underwhelming. Despite the testosteroned name, it’s so tame that there’s not even a seat belt. Strategy: Try to sit near the sides, where the view will be unobstructed.
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter—Diagon Alley
From the outside, it appears to simply be a re-creation of some London landmarks, including a perfectly replicated King’s Cross Station and some townhouses that would fool a lifetime resident of Bloomsbury (keep an eye on the curtains in the second balcony window of 12 Grimmauld Place, the shabby townhouse). You have the re-creation of the “Eros” fountain from Piccadilly Circus (unlike the original, this one is actually flowing), cab shelters selling Britannia souvenirs and jumbo hot dogs, and a three-level-tall Knight Bus. If its conductor is there, have a chat with him, but don’t be alarmed if the shrunken Jamaican head hanging above his steering wheel butts into the conversation.
Hidden behind the London facade, through some sidelong brick portals, is the world’s hottest theme park of the moment, essentially a wholesale construction of three city blocks around Diagon Alley, where wizards go for their provisions. It’s not so much a single attraction as it is a cluttered streetscape of shops, beverage and dessert stores, and painstaking design work that seals you off from the outside world. There are few right angles, but plenty of opportunities to spend lots and lots of cash. You could pass hours simply exploring details, from animated window displays (the skeleton that imitates your movements from the window of Dystyl Phaelanges is a standout) to clever signage larded with inside jokes (“These Premises to Let: Reptiles/Arachnids Allowed”).
The main thoroughfare is Diagon Alley, lined with the Leaky Cauldron restaurant, plus shops for wands, toys, and clothing. It leads dramatically to Gringotts Bank, which is crested by a petrified dragon that belches fire every few minutes. Gringotts is on Horizont Alley, a 2-block lane noted for its pet store, beer hall, and ice cream shop. On the left, it leads into Knockturn Alley, a fascinating indoor area that simulates a shady ghetto at night, right down to shifting clouds in a simulated sky and a tattoo parlor, Marcus Scarr’s, where the animated sample designs writhe on the wall (do peek in). Branching off from Diagon Alley on the right, you find Carkitt Market, a covered area recalling London’s Leadenhall Market, where the principal show stage for the land is located. Performances include The Singing Sorceress: Celestina Warbeck and the Banshees (a talented but somewhat out-of-theme singer—J. K. Rowling’s favorite “offstage” character mentioned but not seen in the book series—rendering such classics as “A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love”) and The Tales of Beedle the Bard (a street performance with puppets of two tales from the Potter spin-off book).
Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts RIDE Another genre-busting creation, this indoor ride is among the most advanced anywhere: part roller coaster, part motion simulator amid dominating 3-D high-def screens. At times your respect for its razor’s-edge complexity will overshadow the purity of the thrills, but it’s still unmissable. The queue lingers in the sumptuous, echoing lobby of Gringotts Bank, where 10 robotic goblins pause long enough from their clerical duties to sneer at you, and you’re taken by “lift” deep underground to begin the mine cart–like race through the vaults. Almost immediately, nasty lightning bolts from Bellatrix Lestrange (Helena Bonham Carter) put your course awry, sending you careening into the slithering presence of Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes). Can Bill Weasley and friends save you in time? (What do you think?) There are some mild spins and drops in the dark, but you wear 3-D glasses the whole time and they don’t fall off, so it’s not that rough, and it’s less scary and height-restrictive than the Forbidden Journey ride at Hogsmeade. Strategy: Take the test seat out front seriously; if you don’t fit, you shouldn’t ride. Locker use for small items is mandatory; they’re free and to the right of the front door. Express doesn’t help you jump much of the line, but there’s a single-rider queue that moves quickly and shortcuts past the pre-show. Front row is best for seeing the screens, the view from the left side of the fourth row can be obscured, and the middle two seats are the best overall.
reducio! Ways to Lighten Your Wallet at Diagon Alley
Diagon Alley has the best theme-park merchandising you’ve ever seen. Nearly everything there is to do and taste comes with a price tag, and you can’t get these experiences outside Universal’s gates. It’s extraordinarily easy to get swept along in the merchandising mesmerization. Some of the best bespoke purchasing potential includes these Potterized twists:
Gringotts Money Exchange, Carkitt Market. Trade in “muggle money” (U.S. $10s and $20s only) for Gringotts Bank Rune Credit, a currency that you can use in both parks or, Universal hopes, take home as a souvenir for pure profit.
Ollivanders, Diagon Alley. In addition to the same wand-selecting mini-show available at Hogsmeade (p. 138), you may purchase a $50 interactive wand (they have gold labels; non-interactive wands are $44) used to activate more than a dozen tricks wherever you see a medallion embedded in the ground here or in Hogsmeade. Stand on it, emulate the wand motion depicted on it, and you’ll make toilets flush, suits of armor animate, fountains squirt, and so on.
The Hopping Pot, Carkitt Market, and the Fountain of Fair Fortune, Horizont Alley. Sip sweet concoctions for $5 each: Otter’s Fizzy Orange Juice, Tongue Tying Lemon Squash, Peachtree Fizzing Tea, and Fishy Green Ale with “fish eggs” (actually blueberry boba) on the bottom. They also sell the classic Potter potable, Butterbeer (in a mug made for Diagon Alley, $14; $8 in a plain cup), and two beers unique to the park, Wizards Brew (a light lager) and Dragon Scale (a chocolatey stout), both $10.
Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour, Diagon Alley. Try a range of only-here flavors including Chocolate Chili, Clotted Cream, Earl Grey and Lavender, and a dangerously addictive soft-serve version of Butterbeer ($7, $8 in a souvenir plastic cup). Too busy? You can get Butterbeer ice cream next door at the Fountain of Fair Fortune, too.
Eternelle’s Elixir of Refreshment, Carkitt Market. Mix your choice of $4.25 “elixirs” (Draught of Peace, Fire Protection Potion, and so forth) with $4.50 “Gillywater” (water) and something magical happens: Universal makes $8.75 on sugar water. The water outside Diagon Alley is lower priced.
Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, Diagon Alley. The toy shop sells $11–$35 Pygmy Puff stuffed animals. When a purchase is made, the staff gongs a huge bell and announces a new adoption. At the connecting Sugarplum’s, buy the candies Ron would eat to get out of school: Puking Pastilles, Fainting Fancies, Fever Fudge, and Nosebleed Nougat ($7 each).
Magical Menagerie, Horizont Alley. Where windows are filled with animated pets such as pythons and giant snails, procure specialty animal souvenirs such as plush versions of Fluffy, griffins, huge purple toads, and Hermione’s half-Kneazle cat Crookshanks ($25–$35).
Shutterbutton’s, Diagon Alley. Via a green screen, put your family in the middle of a 3- to 4-minute, 12-scene DVD/download ($70), like a moving postcard exploring the Potter universe.
Hogwarts Express RIDE Separate from Diagon Alley, through the vaulted brick interior of a cunningly accurate King’s Cross Station, you board the hissing, steaming, and, to all appearances, vintage steam train to Hogsmeade. You are assigned a six-person, upholstered compartment, the door shuts, and off you go. Out the window, England and Scotland scroll by while in the train corridor, you overhear conversations and see ominous shadows through frosted glass. In reality, you’re traveling through Universal’s backstage area, but you never see it. The technical prowess is nearly totally convincing, and even where it isn’t, it’s still dazzling. Within 4 minutes, you disembark at Islands of Adventure outside the gate to the other Wizarding World (if you require an upgrade to a park-to-park ticket, which costs around $55, there are kiosks for the purpose). In the station, there’s also a spot, done with mirrors and clever lighting, for you to re-create the moment when Harry and his fellow students walk through a brick wall to reach Platform 9¾. That photo op gets thronged, but there’s a bypass if you don’t want to wait for it.
Ollivanders SHOW You enter this ancient boutique in small groups, and the kindly shopkeeper selects one child from the group for a personalized wand selection—it selects them—accompanied by music cues and light tricks. The brief spell thus cast, an attendant then ushers your child directly toward the cash registers in the wand department, where they demand you purchase them perfect replicas from nearly every major character of the Harry Potter universe (mostly $45–$50 each), from Harry to Hermione to Snape to Voldemort to Bellatrix Lestrange. They don’t have price tags, but they do have stickers reading, preposterously, “This is not a toy.” Treat them with care. Some are sturdy, but some, such as Professor McGonagall’s, can break.
World Expo
There’s not much to this area except a ride and a dated show.
Men in Black: Alien Attack RIDE After a superlative queue area that does a pitch-perfect, “Jetsons”-style imitation of New York’s 1964 World’s Fair (ironically, the one Walt Disney created so many wonders for), you discover the “real” tenant of the futuristic building: a training course for the Men in Black alien patrol corps. You board six-person cars equipped with individual laser guns. As you pass from room to room—expect lots of herky-jerky motions, but nothing sickening—your task is to fire upon any alien that pops out from around doorways, behind trash cans, and so on. If they peg you first, it sends your buggy spinning. Each car’s point score is displayed on the dashboard, and the number accumulated by the end determines the climactic video you’re shown—Will Smith will either praise you as “Galaxy Defender” or mock you as “Bug Bait.” Strategy: The single riders’ queue moves quickly thanks to the odd number of seats in each row. Locker use for small items is mandatory, but free for the posted wait time plus 20 minutes. Tip: Look for “Steven Spielberg” sitting on a bench with a newspaper. After the ride, ask a staffer if you can tour the “Immigration Room,” an area most guests don’t visit. Trust us.
Fear Factor Live SHOW Like the meat-headed NBC-now-MTV show, ordinary people do stunts (usually involving being dangled on wires, maybe eating food-grade mealworms) for the twisted pleasure of a whooping audience while an inane master of ceremonies eggs everyone on. If you’re over 18 and want to volunteer as a contestant (first prize: polite applause), be there 70 minutes before your selected showtime and you’ll go through a tryout including jumping jacks and a game of Simon Says. Contestants can’t wear jewelry, and if your hands sweat when you’re nervous, you will stink at the gripping challenges. This show goes dark in September and October. Persistent rumors say this will be subsumed by a Harry Potter expansion. Soon, please?
Springfield
After Diagon Alley, Springfield is the cleverest land in the Studios. The area is jammed with inside jokes from the longest-running comedy on TV that only fans catch—for example, Lard Lad Donuts sells “Ice Cream Conans.” Kwik-E-Mart sells an array of bespoke souvenirs you can only get here (pick up the payphone there, by the way), Moe’s Tavern pours Duff Brewery’s signature quaff—the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems—and the statue of frontiersman Jebediah Springfield embiggens us all. Near the Hollywood end on the lagoon, check out the original locomotive from Back to the Future III.
The Studios’ Junk Shop |
A delicious addition to the Studios, on Hollywood Blvd. near Mel’s Diner, is Williams of Hollywood, where you can buy signs, costumes, and set pieces from Universal Orlando attractions and productions—plus some genuine vintage finds thrown in. If the item has a brown tag, it came from Universal. On a recent visit, I passed up the opportunity to drop $3,000 on the cow prop that flew across the stage for 17 years in the Twister attraction. I shall bemoan the decision forevermore.
The Simpsons Ride RIDE It’s easy to love this highly amusing, top-quality, motion-simulator “Thrilltacular Upsy-Downsy Spins-Aroundsy Teen-Operated Thrill Ride” that takes place in front of an 80-foot-tall screen. The premise, dense and ironic enough to please devotees of the FOX series, punctures Orlando itself: You join Homer’s clan at Krustyland, a greedy theme park, on a roller coaster that’s sabotaged by the evil Sideshow Bob (voiced by Kelsey Grammer). During the dizzyingly fast-paced 6 minutes, you zoom through predicaments that mock the theme-park world, including skewers of Shamu, Pirates of the Caribbean, and “it’s a small world.” Add to that a giant killer panda bear and an extra layer of heightened sensory (like the whiff of baby powder—well, it makes sense when you ride). It’s not too rough, but dehydrated people find it vaguely nauseating, and your brain may hurt from absorbing all the jokes. The queue area is so tongue-in-cheek and gag-packed that waiting is half the fun: Itchy and Scratchy furnish the gory safety warning and Krusty dispenses safety instructions such as “Wait here until someone comes and tells you to do something.” Strategy: Seats are four across, so families can ride together.
Kang & Kodos’ Twirl ’n’ Hurl RIDE Universal finally got its Dumbo ride. Here, silly slobbering aliens trick you into boarding a day-glow flying saucer (fitting two adults or one adult and two kids): “Please remain seated until the very end of the ride. You will know the ride has ended when your vehicle comes to a complete stop, or you have been eaten . . . I didn’t just say that.” As you rotate gently around, Dumbo-style, you use a joystick to pass in front of tentacle-shaped poles, triggering sounds of exclamation from the citizens of Springfield. Spoiler alert: You don’t get eaten. Strategy: Keep an eye on park schedules, it closes early when there’s a lagoon show.
Hollywood
This Art Deco stretch is a good place to buy Hello Kitty and Betty Boop merchandise (they have dedicated stores) and meet characters—Gru, SpongeBob SquarePants, Dora the Explorer, Scooby-Doo and Shaggy—at odd times listed on the map under Character Party Zone and Hollywood Character Zone. The Superstar Parade begins and ends at the Estoric Pictures gate, so it’s the best place to catch it.
Universal Horror Make-Up Show SHOW It’s the park’s only homage to the B-movie origins of the Universal name and a rare survivor from the 1990 opening (though much revised). Inside a facade that honors Hollywood’s Pantages Theatre, learn a few light facts about how horror-movie makeup effects are accomplished in this snarky, 25-minute, tongue-in-cheek exposé conducted by a nerdy type in his workshop and his straight-man (or -woman) emcee. On paper, that seems like the kind of thing you might otherwise skip, but in truth park regulars love its wit and playful edge. For ribald ad-libbing and gross-out humor, the park suggests parental guidance, but I find most kids have heard it all before, and it’s certainly true that seeing terrifying movie gore exposed as the make-believe it is can be a good reality check. You can’t get in once the show starts. Even if you skip it, there’s something to see in the lobby: Real props from horror films.
And One More Thing... |
In 2017, Universal finally retired the long-running Terminator-themed movie/show in Hollywood. Its replacement opens in 2019, but at press time, the only official detail was that it would be “high-energy.” That space will probably fit another show (the fanboy money was on a Jason Bourne attraction); check to see if it’s on yet.
Woody Woodpecker’s Kidzone
Scuttlebutt has it that this area is endangered—Universal needs somewhere to build a new Nintendo-themed land, coming in a few years. For now, there’s a ton to do, not least of which is SpongeBob StorePants, dedicated to merchandise and appearances by the absorbent doofus.
Animal Actors on Location! SHOW A troupe of trained dogs, cats, birds, and a horse anchor this charming 20-minute show (times noted on the sign). Placing it here was inspired, because small children get a thrill out of seeing common animals do tricks, and as a consequence, it’s popular and has been running in some form for nearly 30 years. Because it’s in an amphitheater, you can sneak out in the middle if you need to. (If you see only one emphatically punctuated household-pets-doing-cute-tricks-to-jaunty-music theme park show, make it SeaWorld’s superior Pets Ahoy!)
E.T. Adventure RIDE Based on the 1982 Steven Spielberg movie, this endearingly weird indoor ride is rightfully in the kiddie area because it’s not intense and the plot cannot tolerate scrutiny by a fully developed brain. Upon entering, guests supply their name to an attendant, who encodes the info on a pass you hand over when you board the ride. The indoor queue area is a fabulous reproduction of a thick, cool California forest at night. Vehicles are suspended from rails to approximate the sensation of cruising in a flock of bikes, and they sweep and scoop across the moonrise and then through gardens on E.T.’s home planet (remember, he was a botanist), where a menagerie of goofy-looking aliens and creepy E.T. babies swing on vines. They miraculously speak English, throw a party, and greet us from the sidelines. At the climax, a grateful E.T. is supposed to call out your name as you fly home—hence those boarding passes—but E.T. either runs out of time to name everyone or he spouts gibberish, so don’t get your hopes up unless your name is Pfmkmpftur. Strategy: If the queue looks dense from the outside, return later—before closing seems to be a charmed time for quick waits—since there are still more lineups indoors.
Make Back Some Admission Expenses |
The NBC Media Center is marked on maps in Hollywood, but you can only get in by invitation (someone will approach you). Inside, Comcast-affiliated entities screen pilots and solicit audience opinions. On a quiet January day, I once earned $30 for enduring a pilot called Psych. I broke it to them gently, telling them that it was clichéd and strained. It then became an eight-season smash on USA Network.
Fievel’s Playland ACTIVITY Named for the hero of An American Tail (let’s be honest—the kids who grew up with that are turning 40), it’s the best of several playgrounds in Kidzone. The concept is that your kids have been shrunk down to a mouse’s size, and they’re playing among giant everyday items like sardine cans and eyeglasses. They’ll discover slides, nets, and tubes, but my favorite element is the easy waterslide on a raft—so yes, make sure your kids have their swimsuits on. The ground is covered with that newfangled soft foam that all the modern playgrounds have. When I was a boy, we got concussions instead.
A Day in the Park with Barney SHOW The small indoor area that can be accessed through its own gift shop is technically the postshow area for a singalong show for the Purple One. The doors close at the start and stay closed until the ordeal is over. Frankly, being locked in a room with that sappy purple dinosaur constitutes a chamber of horrors for me, but your littlest ones may find it enthralling. The play area mimics Barney’s backyard with a waist-high counter for sifting through sand (so it won’t get into shoes), a tree equipped with little slides, and a chance to have your picture taken with (and then buy it from) Barney the Capitalist Dinosaur.
Woody Woodpecker’s Nuthouse Coaster RIDE Kids can plainly see every drop before they commit to this straightforward thriller. It has no unpleasant surprises, unless you count hearing Woody’s pecking as you go, and a run time of less than a minute.
Curious George Goes to Town ACTIVITY Welcome to the water playground that stole your child. This frenetic splash area is teeming with squealing children and soaked with streams of water from every direction—from squirt cannons, fountains, geysers, and, most importantly, from two 500-gallon buckets that, every 7 minutes, sound a warning bell and then drench anyone beneath. The wet and wild scene is ringed by a perimeter of dry parents keeping an eye on their suddenly wild offspring. Watching the children cheer and scamper when they hear the bucket’s warning bell, and then watching them momentarily vanish in the deluge, is endlessly heartwarming. Through the wet area (there’s a dry bypass corridor to it on the left) is the dry Ball Factory, where kids suck up plastic balls with light vacuums, pack them into bags, and then fire them at each other with weak cannons. It’s not on the maps.
Where to Eat at Universal Studios
In addition to the random snack carts, there are counter-service and table-service restaurants. None require reservations the way Disney’s do. Tip: Meals do not have to come with side dishes. The potato chip bags served hold a mere 1⅞ ounces. Lunch meals clock in at about $12, but ask to subtract chips or fries from your meal deals and you’ll save about $2. All outlets are counter-service except Finnegan’s and Lombard’s. Remember: Restaurants at CityWalk (p. 205) are only a 5-minute walk from the park, so they’re also options.
Classic Monsters Café AMERICAN Indoor counter service on a non-scary B-movie set with some healthy options, such as rotisserie chicken, salad, cheeseburgers, and ribs. Production Central. Combo meal $12 to $21.
Finnegan’s Bar & Grill IRISH/BRITISH A sit-down, Irish-style pub with loft ceilings good for a beer break, particularly after 3pm when a guitar singer performs. Scotch eggs ($10), split pea–and-ham soup ($7), Irish Cobb salad (it has corned beef), seafood pie, and bangers and mash are the kind of solid choices available, plus cocktails and good strong ales. Park workers pick this place when they’re off-duty. New York. Mains $13 to $23.
Louie’s Italian Restaurant ITALIAN Straightforward counter service near The Mummy. There’s a fruit stand ($2/piece) outside. New York. Slices $14–$15 with side salad, meatball or chicken parm subs $13–$15.
San Francisco Pastry Company SANDWICHES This lightly trafficked counter-service bakery does sandwiches and loaded croissants in addition to cakes and pastries, and healthier fruit plates and salads. San Francisco. Meals $13 with potato salad, fruit, and chips.
Lombard’s Seafood Grille SEAFOOD/AMERICAN An excellent, relaxing table-service choice that is surprisingly affordable: Fish tacos are $16, just three bucks more than a Quick Service meal, and other fish dishes, including the fish of the day, such as mahi-mahi sandwiches, lemon garlic shrimp penne, and fried fish, are in the mid-teens. Splashing fountains serenade, fish tanks adorn the dining room, and you can sit outside on the water if you like. Special diet options, such as quinoa with Portobello mushrooms, are well marked, and you can even get gluten-free table rolls. San Francisco. Main courses $15 to $26.
Richter’s Burger Co. AMERICAN A warehouse-like dockside option that slings stacked burgers, marinated grilled chicken sandwiches, and for those weary of greasy fare, salads with grilled chicken. Periodically, the dining area rumbles (but doesn’t move) to simulate quakes. Chez Alcatraz, outside on the water, is a cocktail bar that also sells quick sandwiches and flatbreads. San Francisco. Main courses $12 to $17 with fries.
The Leaky Cauldron BRITISH The fare at Diagon Alley’s counter-service location is not mystical at all. It’s plentiful and true to an English pub, serving British staples such as beef, lamb, and Guinness stew; cottage or fisherman’s pie; and banger (sausage) sandwiches. The ploughman’s lunch for two ($22) has three types of cheese and Branston pickle. There’s a “secret” menu that offers pea soup, Scotch eggs, and a ploughman’s lunch for one for $10. Also get Butterbeer, Fishy Green Ale, and other Potter potables here. Unlike at most Universal restaurants, they don’t let you subtract fries to save money. Diagon Alley. Mains $11 to $16.
Fast Food Boulevard AMERICAN This mouthy indoor food court in Springfield serves mostly standard food renamed with inside jokes and witticisms that puncture American culture. You could spend half your lunchtime just laughing at the dishes. Krusty Burger serves “meat sandwiches” such as the high-stacked double-bacon Clogger Burger with “cheez sauce” and curly fries and 6-inch Heat Lamp Dogs. The Frying Dutchman does Basket O’ Bait fried fish and Clam Chowd-arr ($5). At the Luigi’s Pizza area, get slices of Meat Liker’s Pizza, and at Cletus’ Chicken Shack, dig into the not-very-appetizing-but-accurate Chicken Arms (wings), Chicken Thumbs (tenders), and chicken-and-waffle sandwiches. Lastly, Lisa’s Teahouse of Horror balances out the junk food with a cooler full of straight-up salads and wraps. You can also buy only-at-Universal treats such as Lard Lad Donuts (the platter-size Big Pink, coated with frosting, is $6—a life-size Chief Wiggum figure enjoys one nearby) and Buzz Cola (no-calorie cherry cola). Springfield. Outside and across the way, there’s the Bumblebee Man’s Taco Truck, which closes by dinner. Entrees $15 to $19.
In both its parks, Universal offers a simple meal plan. Dubbed the Universal Dining Plan—Quick Service, it entitles you to one main plate, one nonalcoholic beverage, and one snack, which can be used for ice cream, frozen beverages, and more. Adults pay $23 and kids $15; it only pays off if you go for the most expensive choices and were going to get that dessert anyway. If you buy one at a kiosk in the park, you must activate it at Guest Services or at any restaurant (most won’t open until 11am or so). Resort guests may avail themselves of a Full-Service Dining Plan, good for one table-service meal, one quick-service meal, and a snack for $52 adults, $18 kids each day (buy at your resort). The value is borderline, especially if you don’t want table-service meals, and can only be redeemed inside the parks or a few CityWalk restaurants. Everyone can buy special cups good for free refills ($15).
Moe’s Tavern BAR A spot-on re-creation of Moe’s, down to team pennants for the Isotopes and the purple TV on the wall, only without sleazy service by Moe. There is, however, a life-size Barney by the bar, ruefully contemplating his empty mug. Duff Beer is specially brewed for the park (in generous servings of regular, Lite, or Dry ($10, $14 with souvenir cup; there’s also an amber and a lager on draft), but the kid-friendly potent potable is a Flaming Moe’s ($10), a nonalcoholic orange-flavored soda in a cup rigged with pellets that make it bubble and smoke (it’s hard to breathe when you’re sipping it). Springfield. Beverages $7 to $10, light bites $4 to $12.
Mel’s Drive-In AMERICAN A 1950s-style counter-service diner where fare leans toward chicken, burgers, and shakes. Air-conditioned seating has a view of the lagoon. Hollywood. Main courses $12 to $17.
Beverly Hills Boulangerie SANDWICHES A reasonably healthy fast meal: sandwiches (turkey, roast beef, tuna) with potato salad and fruit, plus pastries like eclairs. Hollywood. Sandwiches with sides $13.
Islands of Adventure
Probably the best choice in Orlando in pound-for-pound thrills and the original theme park home of Harry Potter, Islands of Adventure (IOA) has doubled in attendance between 2009 and 2017—the number is now 9.5 million, nipping at Disney’s heels. The park usually opens at 9am. In winter months, operating hours will end around 6pm but in summer, they’re often open as late as 10pm. After you park (from $20), go through security, take the moving sidewalks to CityWalk, and veer to the left, toward the 130-foot Pharos Lighthouse. If you doubt whether your kids are tall enough to ride everything, there’s a gauge listing requirements before the ticket booths.
ORIENTATION IOA’s 101 acres are laid out much like Epcot’s World Showcase: individually themed areas (here, called “islands,” although they’re not) arranged around a lagoon (obscurely called the Great Inland Sea). To see everything, you simply follow a great circle. The only corridor into the park, Port of Entry, borrows from the Magic Kingdom’s Main Street, U.S.A., in that it’s a narrow, introductory area where guests are submerged into a theme. In this case, you’re gathering munitions for a “great odyssey,” so, in theme-park logic, it’s where you do things like rent strollers and lockers and grab free maps. Most guests beeline through Port of Entry. Because attraction lines are shortest after opening, explore this area later.
STRATEGY Once you reach the end of Port of Entry, which way should you go? Right. That’s the way to Harry Potter. Lines peak in late morning. If the typical Florida forecast calls for afternoon storms and you have a 2-park pass, do IOA in the morning because it has more rides that close in the rain.
SHOPPING The park will send your souvenirs to the Islands of Adventure Trading Company, at the Port of Entry, for collection as you leave the park at the end of the day. The deadline for purchases changes, but it’s usually about 2 hours before closing. To the right as you exit the park, there’s a small stand selling marked-down items (the inventory changes, but I’ve seen $8 Marvel action figures, two-for-ones on plush Curious George dolls, and $40 sweatshirts for $22). It opens later in the day.
Marvel Super Hero Island
If Disney owns Marvel, how come Universal is allowed to have this island? The park licensed the brand in the 1990s, which grandfathered permission. Designs use the comic books of that period, which predates the film franchises of Spider-Man, the X-Men, Iron Man, and Fantastic Four, which is why characters don’t look exactly the way you may be used to them. Spider-Man is sometimes one of them, but if you don’t see him, head into the back of the Marvel Alterniverse Store, opposite the Captain America Diner. There, the hero has his own appearance zone where you can take your own photos (or buy one). The Comic Book Shop is worth a stop. Surprisingly legit, the store carries the latest Marvel issues, compilation books, and collectible busts.
Incredible Hulk Coaster RIDE Every minute or so, a new train blasts out of the 150-foot tunnel, over the avenue, and across the lakefront. The ride is quick—a little over 2 minutes—but it’s invigorating, and it’s super-smooth again thanks to a 2016 extreme makeover that tore down the track and replaced it with an exact replica. First, trains cruise into the inclined tunnel. Then, synchronized rock music playing through in-car speakers, they’re launched from a standstill to 40mph in 2 seconds and twist into a zero G-force barrel-roll 110 feet in the air, which means passengers are already upside down even though they’re still going up the first hill. What follows is unbridled mayhem as you boomerang in a cobra roll and hit a top speed of 67mph through a tangle of corkscrews, loops, and misty tunnels. For many guests it’s the first ride of the day, and its seven inversions are certain to work better than morning coffee. Loose items aren’t allowed, so use the nearby lockers, good for the posted wait time plus 20 minutes. Strategy: The single-rider line here is fruitful.
Storm Force Accelatron RIDE I can translate: Storm is the weather-controlling X-Man, so an Accelatron must be a 90-second spinning-tub ride, like Disney’s teacups. Open, round cars spin on platters that themselves are on a giant rotating disk, and just to ensure maximum vomit velocity, each pod can be spun using a plate in the middle. Strategy: Skip it unless you have insistent kids.
Dr. Doom’s Fearfall RIDE Those twin 200-foot towers are fitted with rows of chairs that slide up and down them. The brave are rocketed 150 feet up at a force of 4Gs, where they feel an intense tickling in their stomachs, soak up a terrific view of the park, and bounce (safely) back down to Earth. The ride capacity is pretty low—you can see for yourself that each tower only shoots about 16 people up on each trip, with a reload period of several minutes in between—so either do this one early or very late so that waiting for it doesn’t eat up too much time. You may hear the towers hiss like a snarling beast—it sounds like a Doctor Doom sound effect, but, in fact, it’s part of the mechanism. A computer weighs each car before launch, and any excess compressed air is noisily expelled in the seconds before flight. Strategy: The seating configuration lends itself to lots of empty spaces, so the single-rider line moves much quicker than most.
The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man RIDE The cliché “don’t miss it” rightfully applies here. It fires on all cylinders, and the whole family can do it without fear. After passing through a simulation of the “Daily Bugle” newsroom (take special notice of the hilarious pre-ride safety video, done as a pitch-perfect “Superfriends”-era cartoon), riders don polarized 3-D glasses, board moving cars, and whisk through a 1.5-acre experience. Mild open-air motion simulation, computer-generated 3-D animation, and cunning sense trickery (bursts of flame, water droplets, blasts of hot air) collaborate to impart the mind-blowing illusion of being drafted into Spidey’s battles against a “Sinister Syndicate” of supervillains including Doctor Octopus and the Green Goblin, who have disassembled the Statue of Liberty with an anti-gravity gun. Although the vehicles barely move as they make their way through the sets, you’ll come off feeling as if you’ve survived a 400-foot plunge off a city skyscraper. Comics fans should keep a lookout for Spider-Man creator Stan Lee. He appears four times during the ride, and you’ll hear him once. Strategy: Go early or late in the day to minimize waits. There’s sometimes a single-rider line and it shoots past the slower standby queue. The middle of the front row is debatably the best place to sit.
The Best of Islands of Adventure |
Don’t miss if you’re 6: The Cat in the Hat
Don’t miss if you’re 16: The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man
Requisite photo op: Hogwarts Castle
Food you can only get here: Butterbeer, Hogsmeade
The most crowded, so go early: Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, Skull Island: Reign of Kong
Skippable: Pteranodon Flyers
Biggest thrill: Incredible Hulk Coaster
Best show: Poseidon’s Fury
Where to find peace: On the lagoon in Jurassic Park
Toon Lagoon
The next zone clockwise after Marvel Super Hero Island, Toon Lagoon, harbors two water rides that are—both literally and figuratively—among the splashiest at any theme park. Both will drench you. If you’re smart, you’ll come just before it swelters, so that you’ll be soaked and cool when the going gets rough.
Slow your pace when you reach the introductory section of Toon Lagoon, encountered after a brief zone of midway games (most: three tries for $5). Crawling with details, color, and fountains, it’s the kind of place that reveals more the longer you look. Some 150 cartoon characters—some you’ll recognize (Nancy, Annie, the Family Circus, Beetle Bailey) and some strictly for connoisseurs (Little Nemo in Slumberland, Zippy)—make two-dimensional appearances on the island, including inside the restaurants and on a soundtrack popping in and out of the action. Where you see a button or a possible trigger, press it or plunge it, because the environment has been rigged with sonic treats. Whimsical snapshot spots are worked in, too, such as the trick photo setup by the Comic Strip Cafe where you can pretend Marmaduke is dragging you by his leash. The deluge from the waterfall under Hagar’s Viking ship provides cooling relief from the sunlight. Amid all this, the Boop Oop A Doop Betty Boop store sells rare specimens. My sister-in-law found a 75th-anniversary cookie jar here that no other real-world store carried. Personally, I worry about the mental health of the clerks, who are subjected to a brain-melting loop of Boop’s oops.
Dudley Do-Right’s Ripsaw Falls RIDE Within this Technicolor snow-capped mountain, you’ll find a wonderful perils-of-Pauline log-flume caper featuring Jay Ward’s feckless Canadian Mountie bungling his rescue of Nell Fenwick from Snidely Whiplash. The winding 5-minute journey—ups, downs, indoor, outdoor, surprise backsplashes, chunky robotic characters—climaxes in a stomach-juggling double-dip drop that hurtles, unexpectedly, through a humped underground gully. Although the 75-foot drop starts out at 45 degrees, it steepens to 50 degrees, creating a weightless sensation. Front- and back-seat riders get soaked, and anyone who didn’t get soaked probably will when they double back to the disembarking zone, because that’s when they’ll face the firing squad of sadistic bystanders who shoot water cannons at passing boats. Ripsaw Falls is terrific fun. No one gets off it grumpy—the mark of amusement success. The ride often closes for a few weeks in off-season for a scrub. Strategies: Seats are tight, but it helps if you straighten your legs as you get in and out. There are optional lockers in the nook to the left of the entrance gate—use them, because there’s no boat storage. It’s $4 for 90 minutes, which may allow you to also use it for Popeye & Bluto’s Barges. The Gasoline Alley shop, across the main path, sells $10 ponchos, but on Ripsaw Falls, you straddle the seat so your feet won’t be easy to cover. Best to wear sandals.
Popeye & Bluto’s Bilge-Rat Barges RIDE For my money, it’s the best round-boat flume in the world. You board 12-passenger, circular bumper boats that float freely and unpredictably down an outlandish white-water obstacle course—beneath waterfalls, through tunnels, over angry rapids, and past features designed to mercilessly saturate you. It’s like playing Russian roulette with water, except everyone loses. This journey is considerably wilder and unquestionably wetter than other rides like this one. And more elaborate: Even the river’s walls have been sculpted and painted in hues to resemble a cartoon wooden chute. It’s diabolical and one of Universal’s best. On hot days, the wet effects are fully juiced, but when it’s cold, they’re turned down slightly. Strategy: There’s a semi-waterproof cubby on board for personal belongings, but you’d be wise to slip your things into plastic bags, too, just in case. You may not be barefoot off the boat but once on, you may remove shoes for the ride. Watching your loved ones get humiliated brings a lifetime of satisfaction, but for onlooker schadenfreude, there are 25¢ water blasters on overlooking walkways, but there are free ones on Me Ship, the Olive. Near the lockers ($4 for 90 min., which may be long enough use to use for Ripsaw Falls, too), you’ll find step-in People Dryers that, for $5, bake and blow the water off you after your journey. (That works well, except on jeans.)
Me Ship, the Olive ACTIVITY An interactive ship-shaped playground for children just beyond the Barges’ entrance, there’s also a slide and some fun to be had with a piano in the cabin (play the notes on the sheet music for an orchestral surprise). One of my favorite things to do in Orlando is to spend awhile on the bridge beside the Olive, which overlooks Barge boats as they drift helplessly under a leaky boiler’s funnel. Watching the gleeful alarm on people’s faces, hearing the peals of laughter—the sublime delight of amusement park togetherness is repeated, again and again, from the vantage point of that bridge. I could stand there all day. I also love the shore of the sea nearby, which is private almost all the time.
Jurassic Park
Steven Spielberg was a creative consultant to Universal, the studio that nourished him, and this “island,” the largest and greenest in the park, is presented practically verbatim from his 1993 movie. Once you pass through a proud wooden gate, John Williams’s bombastic score takes over, and there it burrows until you move on to another area of IOA. If you stand quietly, you may hear rustling—a witty, Spielbergian touch. With the success of Jurassic World and another Kong movie, this island is again a focus of Universal’s developmental attention.
Skull Island: Reign of Kong RIDE A fantastically terrifying stone facade warns wimps away, but despite gargantuan appearances, it’s really mostly a screen-based motion-simulator ride, albeit one that uses a tram-like vehicle and requires 3-D goggles. This 2016 addition is a bigger version of the Kong segment of the Universal Studios Hollywood tram tour—the animation is superb, if arrestingly graphic, and there is one luscious post-movie moment when you encounter a splendidly executed Kong, live and in the fur. The height requirement, just 34 inches, is proof that despite all that, it’s family-friendly mayhem. In bad weather, ride vehicles don’t drive through the front gate, but instead use a less thrilling indoor route. Strategy: Seats on the right see more of the action. Get a drink before getting in line; the queue can be hot and tedious. It can also be scary—toward the end, characters may be hidden in the dark.
Camp Jurassic ACTIVITY The only dedicated kids’ zone of this part of the park is a self-guided tangle of rope bridges, slides, bubbling pools in caves, surprise geysers, water guns, spitting dinosaur heads, and thick greenery. It’s easy to get lost here, and easier to get wet.
Pteranodon Flyers RIDE The hanging carts gently gliding on the nifty-looking track over Camp Jurassic constitute a very short (about 75 seconds) clacking route through the trees. Cool as it looks, it was poorly designed, fitting only two at a time, and huge lines were inevitable. Facing irate crowds, Universal instituted a rule: No adult could ride without a child. That both prepared guests for the ride’s tame deportment and cut down on the wait. Attendants may be willing to load child-free adults when the park is dead. Strategy: Skip this underwhelmer if the wait’s more than 15 minutes.
Jurassic Park River Adventure RIDE In that family-friendly Orlando tradition, the worst drop is clearly warned; gauge the 85-foot descent from behind the Thunder Falls Terrace restaurant, where river boats kick up quite a spray when they hit the water at 30mph. Before reaching that messy climax, boats embark on what’s meant to be a benign tour of the mythical dinosaur park from the movie, only to be bumped off course and run afoul of spitting raptors and an eye-poppingly realistic T. rex that lunges for the kill. The dino attack is shrewdly stage-managed; note how, in true Spielberg fashion, you see disquieting evidence of the hungry lizards (rustling bushes, gashes in sheet metal) before actually catching sight of one. In all honesty, you’re more likely to get soaked standing on the terrace of the restaurant than in the boat, but the trip down is enough to blow your hat off and sprinkle you above the waist. There’s usually at least one delirious 12-year-old boy who stands in the splash zone for hours, giving himself a nigh-amphibious drenching. Tip: Front seats get wettest and back seats are better for taking in the story.
Jurassic Park Discovery Center ACTIVITY Enter a convincing reproduction of the luxury lodge from the film, down to full-size skeletons in the atrium (actual props from the first movie)—downstairs, line up your camera just so, and you can snap a witty shot of a T. rex chomping a loved one’s cranium. Seek out the scientist carrying a baby triceratops that hatched on the grounds; it flinches and reacts to your touch. You can also handle the ostrich-sized dinosaur eggs and slide them into nifty “scanners.” Tip: If you request a lab tour, the “scientists” may take you behind the glass. Behind the center, there’s a network of pleasant garden paths where you can take a break from the bustle of the park. Out front, don’t miss the regularly scheduled appearances of Raptor Encounter, which gives you a chance to take selfies with a chillingly lifelike, mobile, responsive, and strangely comical 9-foot velociraptor from the “safe” side of a fence. What could go wrong?
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter—Hogsmeade
When it opened in June of 2010, the 10-acre Hogsmeade was rightfully hailed as the most significant achievement in American theme park design, detailed down to the souvenirs, and with a new ride taking the place of the late Dragon Challenge coasters this year, it’s only going to get better. It’s as if the film set for Hogsmeade Village (the only British village for non-Muggles) and Hogwarts Castle have been transported to Florida, and indeed, it was designed by the same team. You don’t have to know the books or the movies to enjoy the astounding level of attention: Stonework looks ancient, plaster was painted to appear moldy, rooftops and chimneys slouch in a jumble of snow-covered gables, and nearly every souvenir is a bespoke creation expressly for the Harry Potter universe—in fact, J. K. Rowling had final approval on everything, including on what’s sold in the intentionally-too-small shops. Even the restrooms aren’t spared Moaning Myrtle’s whine. Spend time going from window to window to take in the tricks. In Spintwitches Sporting Needs, a Quidditch set strains to free itself from its carrying case. At Gladrags, the gown levitates. At Tomes and Scrolls, Gilderoy Lockhart (Kenneth Branagh) vainly preens himself among his best-selling travel books.
Those stores are brilliant facades, but there are real shops that are just as unmissable (and invariably thronged). Devish and Banges is where you find Hogwarts school supplies in the colors of all four Houses, from capes to scarves to diaries to parchment, wax seals, and quills. (The seething “Monster Book of Monsters” is kept in a cage here.) In the window of Honeydukes, there’s a macabre contraption in which a mechanical crow pecks out the gumball eye of a skeleton, which rolls through various chutes to be dispensed below, presumably for consumption. That signifies the wondrous candy store within, where colorful Edwardian-style packages contain Chocolate Frogs, Fizzing Whizzbees, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans (beware the vomit-flavored ones mixed in), Exploding Bon Bons, Peppermint Toads, and other confections that would disturb even Willy Wonka.
Types of Butterbeer, Ranked |
1.Soft-serve ice cream: Must have more!
2.Frozen: Deservedly most popular. Get it with foam.
3.Regular: Pretty good, too, but not as refreshing.
4.Hot: Like Regular, but only sold in the winter.
5.Clotted Cream: Not very butterbeery, only sold at The Leaky Cauldron.
6.Fudge: Waxy, like old white chocolate or plumber’s putty. Gross.
The park’s signature concoction, Butterbeer, is pulled from two keg-shaped carts in the walkways. The only place in the world you can buy it is in Wizarding World parks or at the Harry Potter Studio Tour outside of London. Served frozen or unfrozen (I like it cold) with a creamy foam head on top, it tastes like a butterscotch Life Saver, and it’s addictive. I once did laboratory analysis on it and found out that, surprisingly, it contains no more sugar than a Coke. It’s $8 a cup, but for $13, you get a dishwasher-safe Butterbeer mug. The Magic Neep cart, between the Butterbeer stalls, sells Pumpkin Juice (really a Christmasy apple juice mix) in its unique pumpkin-top bottles for $8, along with actual fruit for $2 a piece.
After dark, you may want to check out the Nighttime Lights at Hogwarts Castle, a well-done, 4-minute projection mapping spectacle projected onto the school. It’s tight in Hogsmeade, but it runs continuously, so you might have to wait briefly in a holding area before seeing the next showing. Before the holidays, it morphs into a Christmas version.
Ollivanders SHOW It’s not on the maps because it can’t handle big crowds, but the queue to the left of Dervish and Banges is another Ollivanders Wand Shop (p. 125). If the line is too long—it usually is—there are three more showrooms with an identical experience on Diagon Alley at Universal Studios.
Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey RIDE You will be drawn inexorably to the stunning re-creation of Hogwarts Castle, and within, you’ll find a most technologically complex ride. I won’t give away how it’s done, but I will say it’s an epic combination of motion-simulator movie segments and awe-inducing physical encounters as you travel on a jolting, four-person bench that has been enchanted by Hermione to transport you. This being Orlando, things quickly go wrong, and you encounter a dragon, Aragog the spider, the Whomping Willow, a Quidditch match, and Dementors, all in the space of 4 minutes. The mostly indoor queue is perhaps even more magical, taking you through Dumbledore’s study and through the dim halls of Hogwarts, where real-looking oil paintings come to life and bicker with each other. At one point, fake snow falls on you, and a lifelike Sorting Hat supervises your arrival at the loading dock. It’s a tour-de-force that takes the pain out of a long wait, and sometimes there’s a tour-only route that lets you enjoy it without having to ride (ask). Once you’re done, you go through Filch’s Emporium of Confiscated Goods, a general-interest shop for Potteria. Strategy: No loose articles are permitted. Lockers are free for the posted wait time plus 20 minutes, but using them is confusing. The single-rider line lets you leapfrog much of the wait, but you will miss most of the queue’s excitement. Some people feel queasy after riding, but if you sense that happening, just close your eyes during the three movie portions and you should be fine. Try the test seat out front if you’re a larger guest—many people are not able to ride.
Flight of the Hippogriff RIDE For little kids, you’ll find a standard training roller coaster (a re-themed holdover from pre-Potter years) that offers a glimpse of Hagrid’s Hut from the queue. Don’t expect more than a 1-minute figure eight with slight banking—adults, you can skip it. Strategy: The line is exposed to the sun and the back seats feel the fastest. The long-legged should cross their ankles to fit more comfortably.
Hogwarts Express RIDE The journey from Hogsmeade to London in Universal Studios works just like the one coming here, but you’ll see different scenery and eavesdrop on different goings-on in the carriage. Notice the subtle rhythmic vibration of the seats. Hogsmeade Station is not as nice as King’s Cross at Diagon Alley—there’s no air-conditioning and no fun tricks like the Platform 9¾ photo op—but trains carry 168 people at a time and new ones load 5 minutes after the previous one departs. Strategy: To board, you must have a park-to-park ticket; if you don’t, there’s a ticket upgrade booth out front—it costs $55.
Harry Potter & the Helluva Ride |
In mid-2019, the next blockbuster at Hogsmeade opens: a technologically advanced, thoroughly surprising, and lavishly themed roller coaster that repeatedly launches you around the grounds outside Hogwarts. Its name was still under wraps at press time, but I promise you that it does all kinds of amazing and unexpected tricks I won’t dare spoil here—but let’s just say you won’t be going from Point A to Point B in a straight line, the way other coasters do. And unlike the more traditional Dueling Dragons/Dragon Challenge coasters that it replaced, this ride has a story and is family-friendly. Do not miss it.
The Lost Continent
The gist of the next island, the Lost Continent, is amorphous. Think of it as part Africa, part Asia, part Rome—anything exotic wrapped up in stony vagueness. The localARTicles Boutique beside the Mystic Fountain is really something special for a theme park and worth a stop, selling cool stuff by local artisans like paintings, clothes, and accessories.
Mystic Fountain ACTIVITY Stop by briefly. If it’s merely gurgling with recorded sound effects, all is quiet. But when least expected, it comes to life with wisecracks and sprays. Someone in an unseen booth interacts with anyone foolish enough to wander near—usually naïve children. As Time magazine put it when the park opened in 1999, the fountain exasperates with “the droll sarcasm of a bachelor uncle roped into caring for some itchy 10-year-olds.” If you don’t want to get doused, check the ground for slick spots to determine the fountain’s spitting reach.
Poseidon’s Fury SHOW Despite its lowly status as a walk-through attraction, it has a stunning exterior, carved within a millimeter of reason to look like a crumbling temple. Young folk might be freaked out by the dark and the fireballs. Mature folk might disdain the vapid storyline involving a row between Poseidon and Lord Darkenon (who?). But it bemuses with an interesting (if fleeting) “water vortex” tunnel and some of its other special effects, such as walls that seem to vanish, are diverting. Like Sindbad, it’s boisterous and pyrotechnic. Strategy: For the best views, head for the front of every room, especially the third one.
Seuss Landing
Nowhere other than Harry Potter is IOA’s extravagance on finer display than this 10-acre section, which replicates the good Doctor’s two-dimensional bluster with three-dimensional exactitude. Just try to find a straight line. From the lakefront, you can get a good look at what the designers accomplished. Notice how even the palm trees twist. They were knocked sideways near Miami in 1992’s Hurricane Andrew, and because palm trees always grow upward, by the time they were scouted for IOA, they had acquired a perfectly loopy angle. Scout for hidden gags. Sprinkled around are Horton’s Egg and, by the sea, the two Zaxes, which appropriate to their own book (a commentary on political rivalry in which they stubbornly face off while a city grows up around them), were the very first things placed in the park, and everything else was built around them. The area around the Mulberry Street Store hosts regular appearances by the Cat in the Hat and the Grinch, who looks as annoyed to be there as you might imagine.
By the Port of Entry, look for the Green Eggs & Ham Café, the house-size slab of emerald ham with a giant fork stuck into it. This beauty is one of the best pieces of mimetic architecture in America. It’s also never open, but at least you should notice it.
High in the Sky Seuss Trolley Train Ride! RIDE Everything on this island is appropriate for kids. The railway threading overhead is a cheerful family-friendly glide, narrated in verse. Like Dueling Dragons, there are two paths. The purple line surveys more of the area than the green line, which dawdles above the Circus McGurkus Cafe. The ride takes about 3 minutes and because there’s so much to take in, time flies fast. You have to line up all over again if you want to do the other track.
Caro-Seuss-el RIDE Its bobbing menagerie of otherworldly critters actually reacts to being ridden—ears wiggle, heads turn, snouts rise—making it delightfully over-the-top and appealing to kids who sniff at kiddie carousels. Beside the Caro-Seuss-el, seek out the quick but trenchant walk-through grove of Truffula Trees retelling Dr. Seuss’s environmental warning tale, the Street of the Lifted Lorax.
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish RIDE Here we have another iteration (albeit a good one) of Disney’s enduring tot bait, Dumbo. Riders (two passengers per car normally, three if one of them loves the Wiggles) go around, up, and down by their own controls while a gauntlet of spitting fish pegs them from the sides—listen to the song for the secret of how to avoid getting wet, although the advice isn’t foolproof. There are benches good for watching kids giggle malevolently when parents get spritzed.
If I Ran the Zoo ACTIVITY Getting wet is part of the bargain, so there’s a rack to keep shoes dry. The interactive playground for young children contains some 20 tricksy elements. Let your brood slide, splash in a stream, turn cranks, and play Tic Tac Toe on characters’ bellies. Beware the cheeky fountain—it pays to follow all posted instructions in Seuss Landing. Thanks, Universal, for the hand-sanitizer dispensers by the exit.
The Cat in the Hat RIDE Take a nonthreatening excursion through the plot of the famous storybook as viewed from slow-moving mobile “couches” (really a typical flat-ride car). The design racks up points for replicating the look of the beloved children’s book with precision, even in three dimensions. The story is just as faithfully retold; it’s clear from this sweet, 3½-minute ride that the family of Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel) had a strong influence in steering the execution of this section of the park. Parents will probably emerge feeling glad they tagged along. Tip: The vehicles spin a few too many times for some adults (kids don’t seem to mind), but you can ask to have rotation turned off when you board.
Where to Eat in Islands of Adventure
In addition to the random snack carts there’s no use in listing here, there are many counter-service spots and one sit-down restaurant (Mythos) in the park. None require advance reservations the way Disney’s do. Tip: Menu items do not have to be served with sides. The potato chip bags served with posted meals hold a mere 1⅞ ounces. Subtract them, or fries, from your meal combos to save about $2. Clockwise through the park from Port of Entry:
Croissant Moon Bakery SANDWICHES Lighter bites such as sandwiches and panini (breakfast sandwiches until 11am; combos served with a muffin), plus pastries such as cream horns and vanilla éclairs, can be snagged without much of a line. Nearby is the Last Chance Fruit Stand cart, which sells fruit cups ($4.30) and giant turkey legs ($15). Port of Entry. Sandwiches $13; soup and salad $10.
Confisco Grille INTERNATIONAL The menu of this rare (one of only two in the park) table-service location has an identity crisis—beef fajitas, salmon, pad Thai, French dip—but that also means there’s probably something for everyone in your group. The attached Backwater Bar, overlooked by most and therefore ideal for sundowners. Port of Entry. Main courses $14 to $23.
Captain America Diner AMERICAN This indoor counter-service location serves the usual burgers and chicken, plus shakes (just like the Captain never drinks!). Outside you’ll find a fruit stand where pieces of whole fruit cost $2. Marvel Super Hero Island. Main courses $15 to $19 with fries.
Cafe 4 PIZZA Counter service with indoor seating for grabbing sandwiches as well as individual pizzas. Marvel Super Hero Island. Pizza and simple pasta $13 to $15 with side salad; whole pies $35–$38.
Comic Strip Cafe INTERNATIONAL Toon Lagoon’s largest counter-service location offers four schools of food: burgers and dogs, pizza and salad, Chinese, and fish and chicken. There’s more indoor seating with air-conditioning here than anywhere else in this island. Toon Lagoon. Main courses $13 to $14.
Blondie’s SANDWICHES If you know that Dagwood is another name for a hero, you’ll know who Blondie is, too. This indoor counter location does subs served with pickles and potato salad. It usually closes after lunch. Toon Lagoon. Mains $11.
Wimpy’s AMERICAN It’s the stand that furnishes its namesake’s obsession (hamburgers), although the staff will not permit you to pay next Tuesday for a hamburger today, mostly because it’s almost never open. Toon Lagoon. Main courses $12 to $15.
The Burger Digs AMERICAN The Discovery Center’s indoor counter-service spot is upstairs, across from the dinosaur-theme toy store. Guess what it makes? There’s a toppings bar, so load up. Jurassic Park Discovery Center. Combo meal $14 to $19.
Pizza Predattoria AMERICAN The menu is small but big on calories: pizzas, meatball subs, and chicken Caesar salad. It’s counter service with outdoor seating. Jurassic Park. Nearby is the Natural Selections fruit cart ($2/piece). Mains $13 to $16 with side salad.
Thunder Falls Terrace BARBECUE Watch the Jurassic Park boats splash down in the comfort of air-conditioning while noshing on food that’s a cut above the rest: chargrilled ribs served with whole unhusked ears of corn, rotisserie chicken, those giant turkey legs, and bacon cheeseburgers. Soups are just $3.50. Jurassic Park. Meals $12 to $17.
Three Broomsticks BARBECUE/BRITISH The film tavern was gorgeously re-created, up to its wonky cathedral ceiling and down to the graffiti scratched in the timbers, as the only restaurant in this island, and the filmmakers reportedly liked the design so much they featured the set more prominently in later movies. Get chicken, ribs, fish and chips, beef pasties, shepherd’s pie, or The Great Feast, which feeds four for $60 (add $15 for each additional person) with salad, rotisserie chicken, spareribs, corn on the cob, and roast potatoes. Hog’s Head pub is attached. Under the squinty gaze of a grunting mounted boar’s head (it responds to tips), a selection of truly British quaffs (Boddingtons, Tennant’s, Strongbow cider) is pulled. There are two more beers of note: One is Hog’s Head ale, a hoppy, only-here beer made by the Florida Brewing Company, and the other is Butterbeer, so if the line is long at the keg carts outside, grab a faster fix in here, where it’s cool in more ways than one. (They won’t spike it with rum. I’ve asked.) There’s no happy hour here. Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Meals $10 to $17.
Mythos Restaurant INTERNATIONAL The cavelike interior, carved from that ubiquitous orange-hued fake rock that scientists should term Orlando Schist, commands a marvelous view of the lagoon (go around to the water, where you’ll be alone, to see the god holding the place up with his bare hands). You could sit and watch the Incredible Hulk Coaster fire all day from this subdued environment. Food many rungs higher than most theme park stuff is served, with pad Thai, fish tacos, a seasonal risotto cranberry/blue cheese–crusted pork, crab-cake sandwiches, plus a healthy slate of sandwiches and salads. The Lost Continent. Reservations recommended; 407/224-4534. Main courses $15 to $26.
Doc Sugrue’s Desert Kebab House MEDITERRANEAN This outdoor-only counter-service spot serves its namesake in beef, chicken, and vegetables, or Greek salad, plus hummus with veggies ($5). The Lost Continent. Main courses $12 to $14.
Fire-Eater’s Grill INTERNATIONAL Another outdoor-only counter-service spot with the usual suspects: chicken fingers, chicken stingers (Buffalo chicken fingers), hot dogs, and gyros. The Lost Continent. Meals with fries $13 to $15.
Circus McGurkus Cafe Stoo-pendous AMERICAN Looking like a circus tent coated in cake frosting, it serves the usual burgers and pizzas, leavened with spaghetti and meatballs, chicken Caesar salad, and a fried chicken platter with mashed potatoes and corn on the cob so there’s something for everyone. For dessert, the Moose Juice Goose Juice stand by the bridge to the Lost Continent sells Moose Juice (a tart orange mix) and Goose Juice (watermelon or grape) for $4.50. Seuss Landing. Meals $12 to $18; whole pizzas $35 to $38.
Universal’s Volcano Bay
Universal Orlando’s first custom-built water park, the tiki-tastic, 28-acre Volcano Bay 
, opened in the summer of 2017, and even with only a half-year of business, became number six in the world’s most-attended water parks. It’s a beaut: The centerpiece, a 200-foot volcano gushing with waterfalls and steaming with mist, is now a landmark beside I-4. Its systems are just as audacious. Guests borrow a sensor wristband, called TapuTapu, that they use to make purchases (if they’ve linked their credit card to the Universal app first), trigger fun tricks and photos at stations around the park, and reserve a place in a virtual line for most the flumes. When it’s time to ride, the wristband screen notifies the guest to head to the attraction for a very short wait. And what rides, none of which require you to tote a raft around: Highlights of the 11 or so choices, which truly run the gamut from mild to wild, include Krakatau, an aqua coaster that pushes riders up and down slopes in a toboggan; Ko’okiri Body Plunge, a 70-degree, 125-foot body slide that begins with a trap door and rockets you along a clear tube through the wave pool; four Punga Racers slides; Waturi Beach wave lagoon (the gong mean’s it’s time to surf); toddler and kids’ areas; Ohyah and Ohno slides that drop you into a pool from 4–6 feet; the six-person Maku Puihi round raft rides that spit you into a massive bowl; the Kopiko Wai winding river that passes through the illuminated “Stargazer’s Cavern”; and many twisted flumes besides those. (Yeah, those names get confusing fast, so get a guide map as you enter or better yet, bone up before you arrive.) Walkways are kept wet and cool, and you’ll find many pockets with free loungers and powdery sand—they’re emptier at the back of the mountain.
It all sounds wonderful, but it’s not a park where you can expect to ride every single thing in a day, though arriving right at opening will help squeeze in more. TapuTapu only permits one reservation at a time on the flumes (the two lazy rivers, kiddie zone, and pools don’t require reservations; neither does anything with a sign reading Ride Now), and you’re free to replace any current reservation with a new one. While you wait, you’re expected to do the non-reservation stuff—nosh at the six distinct food locations (quite good), drink cocktails (nice and strong), and sunbathe. You can ease the logjam somewhat by paying more for Express ($21–$53 depending on how busy), which allows you to cut the lines once per ride, but to be honest, riding everything would be exhausting here: You will have to climb the equivalent of 13 floors each time you want to do the most extreme slides, and there’s not much shade, neither of which is unusual for a water park. Most visitors, especially older ones and those with young children, are satisfied with the amount of stuff they wind up getting to do, but completists and obsessive thrill-seekers may come away frustrated. Renting a cabana, if you can afford it, also helps since you’ll be able to join virtual queues from a tablet there; you also get bottled water, snacks, a butler, and a home base kids can always return to (from $199). More affordably, “Premium Seating” consists of a pair of padded loungers with canopy, lockbox, and wait service. (Book those and cabanas at 877/489-8068.) There’s no drop-off at the front gate; Universal hotel guests take buses, and outsiders park in the Universal structure ($22) and take the free shuttle from there. Guests of Cabana Bay (p. 249) can just walk next door.
6000 Universal Blvd, Orlando. www.universalorlando.com. 
407/363-8000. $85 adult, $80 kids 3–9; towel rental $5; locker rental $12–$15; private cabanas $199–$550; parking $22, then free shuttle bus. Typically opens around 9am and closes around dusk.
The second theme park chain to set up shop in town, after Disney, was SeaWorld Orlando (Central Florida Pkwy., at International Dr., or exit 71 and 72 east of I-4; www.seaworldorlando.com; 407/545-5500; $99 for everyone, discounts of $20 and $10 meal plans available online for some days; parking $22 ($20.65 via its app), up to $30 on peak days; open 9am–7pm with extended hours in peak season). The park began in San Diego in 1964 and staked a claim in Orlando in 1973, predating Universal by 17 years, but the last few years have been the hardest. The Blackfish flap hit hard, and although the park has always touted its legitimate rescue and conservation efforts, now such boasts can feel awkwardly defensive even though they were always part of the spiel. In 2009, before its troubles began, it was the 12th most popular theme park in the entire world. Now it has tumbled. It received 4 million visits in 2017 (10% less than 2016, enough to bump it out of the top 10 in the U.S.). Although SeaWorld operates three American parks (the third is in San Antonio), its Orlando location is the company’s most important. Across the road you’ll find its luxury animal park, Discovery Cove (p. 157), and a fine water slide park, Aquatica (p. 157), and if you buy ahead online, you can often get free admission to either Aquatica or Busch Gardens Tampa Bay (p. 159), too.
Although SeaWorld is amid a multi-year investment strategy to remake itself as an amusement park and sidestep away from animal entertainment, it’s not happening fast enough to turn around attendance woes. The focus is still aquatic animals and conservation. It’s not hard to enjoy a fish tank, but if watching larger animals such as dolphins obey commands for food makes you uncomfortable, you’ll hate it. As more alternative attractions are built, it’s increasingly easy to avoid those shows, but they haven’t gone away entirely. Otherwise, there’s a lot going for SeaWorld: 200 acres of space for gardens, a compound that absorbs crowds well—and you don’t have to pre-plan every move the way you do at Disney.
For now, the optimal SeaWorld experience is mostly show-based. Your day here will revolve around the scheduling of a half-dozen regular performances in which animals (mostly mammals, but some birds, too) do tricks—except here, they’re called “behaviors”—with their human trainers. To some, SeaWorld’s banner attraction will always be that controversial Shamu show (named for a killer whale that died in 1971—and also savagely bit a trainer), and when you’re not watching killer whales do backflips, you’re ambling through Animal Connections habitats stocked with other beautiful creatures. Thoughtfully, schedules are posted online a few weeks ahead of time so that if you’re really detail obsessed, you can map out your day in advance; the show schedule calendar is under “Plan Your Day.”
Ethical Entertainment? The Blackfish Controversy |
Some conservationists say SeaWorld’s animals endure misery in captivity. Other conservationists laud SeaWorld for being an advocate for marine life. Each side presents statistics that seem convincing but are then shot down by rivals. And therein lies the ongoing tug-of-war over this profit-generating amusement park. SeaWorld is hostile to accusations of mistreatment and exploitation—in 2013, the low-budget documentary Blackfish asserted that the 2010 death of senior trainer Dawn Brancheau, which was witnessed by an audience at Shamu Stadium, was the result of inadequate care. (For its part, the Brancheau family distanced itself from the documentary, saying in a statement: “Dawn would not have remained a trainer at SeaWorld for 15 years if she felt that the whales were not well cared for.”) An anti-SeaWorld social media campaign has raged ever since. Although SeaWorld has been fined about $26,000 by OSHA in California for improperly protecting its human employees, it sharply rebuts some of the film’s points, objecting to one-sided reporting and complaining that the editing deceives viewers into believing the park collects its performing animals from the wild, something it hasn’t done for decades. Excepting a few aged animals that were born in the seas and rehabilitated from accidents in the wild, SeaWorld insists, most of its animals were born in captivity and raised by hand and so they would not know how to survive in the wild. The orcas that live there, SeaWorld promises, will be the last generation to do so and not be bred. The park says it has rescued more than 30,000 animals to date, and reminds the media that when marine animals are threatened in the oceans, it regularly steps in to help. But Blackfish also alleges that the tanks at SeaWorld could never be large enough to contain animals biologically programmed to roam wide territory—a charge that’s harder to deny, and one the company has promised to address in coming years. Defenders say that opens up a new can of worms—why single out SeaWorld, they say, for things that zoos and animal parks across the country do every day?
Don’t miss if you’re 6: Pets Ahoy!
Don’t miss if you’re 16: Mako, Manta
Requisite photo op: Orcas in flight, One Ocean, Shamu Stadium
Food you can only get here: Shamu ice-cream bar at carts parkwide
The most crowded, so go early: One Ocean, Shamu Stadium
Skippable: The movie at TurtleTrek
Biggest thrill: Mako, Kraken Unleashed
Best show: One Ocean, Shamu Stadium
Where to find peace: Anywhere around the lagoon
The free SeaWorld Discovery Guide app (there’s free Wi-Fi in major park areas) orients you, supplies showtimes and wait times, allows you to buy shorter wait times for the rides, reserve show seating, and helps you remember where you parked. It drains your battery, though, so come with backup juice. SeaWorld sells Quick Queue Unlimited ($19–$38 depending how busy it is), which allows you to cut lines on the adult rides by entering through the exit, but lines are rarely long enough to warrant it. (There’s a version for the kiddie rides, too, and one for good seating for the shows; both are priced $15–$29 and it’s rarely busy enough to need them.) You can often buy single-use Quick Queue to jump the line at the most popular rides ($10) via electronic kiosks labeled Upgrade Your Day!, but check the regular wait first. The 6-hour Expedition SeaWorld VIP Tour (starting at $79 adults plus entry fee, $59 kids 3–9 in low season) includes reserved seating to three shows, food, and Quick Queue.
TIMING YOUR VISIT You will spend time waiting for shows to begin. People show up early for seats, so it’s smart to arrive at least 30 minutes ahead of showtimes. Crowds are lightest Tuesday and Wednesday. Important: If the weather forecast shows prolonged rain (as opposed to Florida’s typical spot showers), reschedule your visit. Not only will you spend lots of time outside, but it’s also harder to see marine animals when the surface of the water is pelted by raindrops—not to mention the fact that if there’s so much as a twinkle of lightning anywhere in the county, these water-based attractions and tall coasters close faster than a shark’s mouth on dinner.
GETTING ORIENTED Once you park or get off the I-Ride (the stop is near the front gates), head for the lighthouse that marks the entrance. Inside, grab a placemat-size park map. On the back, printed fresh daily, is the show schedule. Performances usually begin an hour after park opening, and the signature Shamu show, One Ocean, has the fewest presentations. I always prefer the last one because it’s less crowded. The map also lists “Animal Connections”—a manatee keeper talk here, a stingray feeding there. If you’re interested in thrill rides, the best time is when the Shamu show is scheduled, because it soaks up hundreds of people at once. The Cape Cod–style entrance plaza is where you do the necessaries such as rent strollers and lockers. The area is really just a warm-up for the rest of the park.
On the map, the park is broken up into vague areas called “Seas,” but you can’t tell a difference between them as you walk.
Be choosy about shows, because if you plan too many, you’ll miss some habitats—yet spreading SeaWorld over 2 days would be excessive.
One Ocean SHOW While orcas still live at SeaWorld they’ll be given something to do in the “Shamu” show. When the orcas start to fly, the crowd comes alive. Closed-circuit TV cameras capture and display the spectacle on four huge, aging rotating screens as the animals thunder dauntingly through the water’s surface, pointedly deluging seating sections in 52-degree water. The 25-minute plotless show occurs on such a scale as to make it required viewing. Now that trainers are no longer permitted to swim in the tank, they narrate from the sides, and they have to vamp for long periods if the orcas aren’t in the mood to exercise on cue. Trainers fill the gaps with weak Temptations-style choreography, quasi-inspirational scripted gibberish (“Pass the word from generation to generation: A bright and beautiful future is in our hands…”), and some defensive patter about how scientists can better observe orcas in captivity. But you instantly forget about the flaws when the animals reappear to leap skyward and belly flop back into their tank. The stadium, which fits 5,000 and can still fill early, is covered, but the sides may catch sun, so arrive at least 30 minutes early. Strategy: Soak zone seats offer excellent views of the animals hurtling through the 2.5-million-gallon, 36-feet-deep tank, and in case the splashes miss you, the dozens of fountain jets will finish the job. Seats near the shelflike front platform will also have a close-up view of a killer whale out of the water. Seats at the back of the stadium, higher than the central aisle, must rely on the TV cameras to make out what’s going on underwater. Using the SeaWorld Discover Guide app, you can book reserved seating until 15 minutes ahead, but that’s not usually necessary. Shamu Stadium, Sea of Power.
Smart Seating |
Try to be at shows at least a half-hour early, and for Shamu, add another 10 minutes to walk around the lagoon to the stadium. SeaWorld is not obsessive about where you’re permitted to sit, so if you’re near the front of the line, you can claim the best seats. Several shows (“Pets Ahoy!” especially) don’t permit latecomers.
Three of the shows—“One Ocean,” “Dolphin Days,” and “Clyde and Seamore”—have a clearly marked “soak zone” in the front rows of the seating section. Don’t take this warning lightly; you have no concept of how much water a 10,000-pound orca can displace. Of course, sitting with your kids in the soak zone on a hot day is one of the great pleasures of SeaWorld, and most soak zone seating has the added advantage of affording side views through the tank glass. For those with expensive hairdos, ponchos are sold throughout the parks, including at stalls beneath Shamu Stadium, for $10. Keep electronics somewhere dry, because salt water fries circuits.
Clyde & Seamore’s Sea Lion High SHOW SeaWorld’s long-running Pirate Island show was retired in 2014, but Clyde and Seamore, a pair of sea lions, returned in 2015, with otters and sometimes a walrus, in a similar spectacle. Expect a prototypical sea lion act: cheesy, anthropomorphic (animals doing double takes, sliding, waving, and pretending to attend school with human companions), and slapstick. Their cute 25-minute presentation remains one of SeaWorld’s most cherished franchises. Strategy: The worst seats are to the left as you face the stage (they have partial views and get hot). Sea Lion & Otter Stadium, Sea of Delight.
Dolphin Days SHOW It’s the kind of dolphin show that has been standard for decades—trainers chat about the animals, which leap and flip and otherwise frolic for your applause—and that’s what makes it so good. You don’t need fancy frippery to appreciate the strength and agility of these dolphins (which were all born in parks), although in this presentation, there is also a brief appearance by a flock of parrots. If you don’t see the Shamu show, this is the best alternative. Sit in front and you may get drenched, but don’t blame the dolphins—they’re only doing it for the fish. Dolphin Theater, Sea of Shallows.
Pets Ahoy! SHOW Under-5s lose their minds at this indoor show at Seaport Theater, and you may, too—it’s the show most worth watching repeatedly. Although the furry cast is a deviation from SeaWorld’s usual finny ones, the tricks are no less entrancing. A menagerie of common animals (cats, dogs, pigs, ducks, a skunk), most rescued from animal shelters, do simple tricks and trigger tickling surprises on a rigged wharfside set. As the supercute gags multiply and compound in rapid succession (dachshunds pour out of a hot dog cart, a cat chases a white mouse in and out of hatches), and as more creatures are added into the mix precisely on cue, the amusement escalates. There’s nearly no dialogue for its 20-minute run time. Afterward, trainers allow kids to pet some of the performers. Strategy: It’s fun to sit under the catwalk (literally—cats walk on it) over the aisle between the first and second sections. This 850-seat theater fills well in advance, so show up 30–45 minutes ahead. Seaport Theater, Sea of Delight.
Sea of Shallows
This themed area is along the left as you first enter the park.
Manta RIDE Rising above the park is SeaWorld’s thrill-ride pride, a “flying coaster” ridden face-down and head-first, in a horizontal position. You board sitting upright, and after your shoulders and ankles are secured, you’re tipped forward and the train is dispatched over curious pedestrians for the 2½-minute ride. The queue meanders through 10 aquaria containing cownose rays, spotted eagle rays, and weedy sea dragons behind floor-to-ceiling windows, so you get a dose of sea life while you wait. Even nonriders can see rays through a separate entrance to the left of the ride’s line, labeled Aquarium: The Beautiful Ocean. Speeds approach 60mph with four inversions, in a fanciful approximation of what it feels like for a manta ray to swim. Manta is a pretty unique coaster experience, and it’s solid fun. Strategy: Lockers are $1/hr., credit cards or cash. There’s an (unattended) basket on the platform for loose items if you don’t use the lockers. Because you’re in “flying” position, no seat has an obstructed view. The line can be long, so do it early if you can.
Dolphin Nursery ACTIVITY Between the entrance plaza and the Waterfront, the young mammals are kept with their mothers for the first few years of their lives before graduating to the larger Dolphin Cove elsewhere in the park. Much of the day, human trainers can be found here, feeding the adolescent animals and getting them acclimated to human interaction. A newly added glass siding allows you to look into the water.
Stingray Lagoon & Feeding ACTIVITY A not-quite-reproduction of Front Street in Key West, Florida, features the Stingray Lagoon, where you can lean over and feel the slimy, spongy fish. You can buy food to feed the rays for $5 per tray, $10 for three trays, of about four fish.
Dolphin Cove ACTIVITY Next door, make appointments for the Dolphin Encounter ($20, and no cameras allowed), in which your 3–5 minutes of face time—from land, you may pet them, not feed them—are doled out as part of 15-minute blocks (times later in the day are less crowded). Kids under 13 must be with an adult. If you want to get into the water with dolphins, you’ll need to pay for Discovery Cove (p. 157). Around feeding times, dolphins congregate at the trainers’ dock, which can make seeing them difficult, so come between meals for a better look. Walk around the far side of the tank, and you’ll find a little-used underwater viewing area with air-conditioning.
TurtleTrek ACTIVITY/FILM A circuitous entrance ramp brings you to a popular air-conditioned underwater viewing area for 1,500 Caribbean fish and sea turtles the size of coffee tables—that’s what earns our two-star rating. If you look closely, you can tell which turtles are rescues—one lost her lower jaw from a fishing net, another gave a flipper to a shark near Bermuda. In the Manatee Rehabilitation freshwater tank, much attention is paid to the manatee’s status as one of America’s most endangered animals, and, in fact, the sluggish creatures on display here were all rescued from the wild, where hot-dogging boaters are decimating their numbers. You’ll be herded into a domed room where a (rather poorly) computer-animated 3-D film traces the life cycle of a sea turtle from its point of view. It’s hard not to notice that 7-minute story hits the same beats as Finding Nemo (jellyfish fields, marauding birds, sharks prowling a shipwreck). After that, you might be better off staying longer in front of the tank, where the view is more authentic. Tip: If you skip this, at least see the rescued manatees in their rehab center, located out the attraction’s exit.
Hook the Trainers |
To get the most out of a visit, try to be in the same place as the animal trainers. Ask questions. Get involved. They may even allow you to feed or stroke the animals (set aside another $25 or so for fish food). These zoologists love sharing information about the animals they have devoted their lives to. Feeding times are usually posted outside each pavilion’s entrance.
In the back left of the park, these two zones are for thrills and chills.
Journey to Atlantis RIDE On this 6-minute flume-cum-coaster ride (you can’t see the brief coaster section from the front), getting drenched is unavoidable, as the 60-foot drop should warn. Atlantis is incoherent but fun enough. First you pass through a few rooms as if you’re on a family-friendly dark ride (the effects aren’t great), and then you rocket down the hill you saw outside, and finally the water gives way and your boat becomes, briefly, a roller-coaster car with no upside-down moments but yet another splashdown. It feels cheap, but it’s different enough to amuse. Strategy: Front seats get wettest. Try to balance the weight; otherwise you’ll list disconcertingly. Keep stuff dry in a nearby locker ($1/hr., bills or credit cards), and leave it there when you ride Kraken next door. Ponchos are sold nearby for $10; $9 for kids.
Kraken Unleashed RIDE Take a 2-minute dose of testosterone. After you settle into your pedestal-like seat, the floor is retracted, dangling your legs while you undergo seven upside-down “inversions” of one sort or another. You have the option of donning an attached helmet to watch a synchronized animated video of a wild undersea submarine trip involving volcanoes and giant squid—you can even look around in that virtual world. If you do, some riders report feeling queasy afterward, and you’re warned incessantly to keep your head against the headrest because once you can’t see upcoming track maneuvers, you’re unable to brace yourself. The coaster, which hits 65mph and drops 144 feet on its first breath-stealing hill, is plenty terrifying on its own; you can do without the gimmick (most riders do). Strategy: Tighten the headset more than you think you need because when you get going, it may feel insecure (it’s not). Because the train is floorless, you can’t ride with flip-flops, but you may leave shoes on the loading dock and go barefoot (if you do that in the front row, which I recommend, you’ll feel like you’re about to lose a foot in the rails). Lockers cost $1/hr. (bills or credit cards). To save, use one locker for both this and Journey to Atlantis next door.
Antarctica: Empire of the Penguin ACTIVITY/RIDE SeaWorld’s tribute to penguins is this 4-acre, iceberg-styled, fishy-smelling pavilion. As your teeth chatter in the frigidity, view a colony of 245 Gentoo, Rockhopper, Adélie, and King birds with a fascinating underwater viewing of the little birds zipping around underwater and from a 30-degree area where they waddle helplessly on dry land. The ride is pointless, with sub-par animation, but you don’t have to take it (no matter what, there’s a line): It’s based on some cool trackless technology that allows cars, which will remind you of air hockey pucks, to aimlessly roam the same room, even cross paths. Choose “Wild” or “Mild,” although the wild version isn’t much more intense than a few light pirouettes. Don’t confuse this exhibition with Wild Arctic, which contains the beluga whales. Tip: Do this early because the line tends to stack up the fastest.
What the Basics cost at SeaWorld
Parking: $22 (closer “Preferred” spaces are $30 and not worth it); $30 peak days
Single strollers: $15 per day
Double strollers: $25 per day
Wheelchair: $12 per day
ECV (electric convenience vehicle): $60 per day, $65 with a canopy + $10 deposit
Lockers: $10 (small) or $15 (large) per day
Coke: $3.30
Bottle of water: $3
Cup of beer: $9
Sea of Delight, Sea of Mystery
In the heart of the park, find classic shows and newly built adrenaline-pumpers.
Infinity Falls FLUME On this new (2018) 5-minute round raft ride, groups of eight ride along 1,500 curling feet of flume through jungle and are sent flying through rapids bouncing between waterfalls and soaking fountains operated by sadistic fellow guests. That’s just the beginning. By the end, the floats are raised on a vertical elevator in 5 seconds and dropped 40 feet along a steep ramp to a messy splashdown. You will not come off dry. SeaWorld is backing away from fishy exhibits, but that doesn’t mean it can’t immerse guests in water instead. Nearby, Whitewater Supply is a notch more interesting that the park’s other souvenir stores, offering driftwood art, candles, sun dresses, and waterproof protection for your electronics.
Mako ROLLER COASTER Wholly independent of animals, Mako (“MAY-ko”) takes the crown as Orlando’s longest (nearly a mile of track), fastest (73mph), and tallest (200 ft.) coaster. It’s billed as a “hypercoaster” with “relentless air time,” which means there are lots of humps and drops, including several over water, that combined with its deceptively loose restraint system make you feel weightless. That first brutal sideways drop is called “the hammerhead.” On an industry level, it’s a sign SeaWorld is serious about moving away from animal shows. On a thrills level, this is one helluva ride—Orlando’s best coaster. The nearby lockers ($1/hr., bills and credit cards) are necessary unless your item is small because you can leave little items unattended in a bin on the platform. If someone in your party doesn’t want to make a foray on this nerve-tangler, send them to the flamingo paddle-boats on the lake across the walkway ($7 per person for 20 minutes).
Pacific Point Preserve ACTIVITY Like Dolphin Cove, Pacific Point is an open-air, rocky habitat that encourages feedings, but here the residents are incessantly barking California sea lions and a few demure seals. There’s a narrow moat between the tank and the walkway, but you’re encouraged to lean over and toss the doglike animals fresh fish, which are sold for $5 per tray, $20 for five. More often than not, marauding birds snatch what you toss. The area gets busy around Clyde and Seamore showtimes at the neighboring Sea Lion & Otter Theater.
Shark Encounter ACTIVITY The onetime Terrors of the Deep was given a more responsible name to rehabilitate the public image of the much-maligned creatures within. It’s one of the better exhibitions, with 60-foot acrylic tubes passing through 300,000 gallons of water stocked with sharks—you’re ushered along quickly via moving sidewalks. Don’t ignore the shallow tank in front of the building, because that’s where the smaller species are kept. There, you can feed rays and tarpon shrimp for $5 a tray.
Sky Tower OBSERVATION RIDE Jutting above the lagoon—and topped to still-greater heights by a colossal American flag—is the 400-foot, old-fashioned “Wheel-o-vater” ($2 when the park is busy, otherwise free) that rotates as it climbs 300 feet for a panorama. At the top, it slowly spins for two or three revolutions, giving you a good look around, before lowering you back to the Waterfront at the end of 6 minutes. You can spot Orlando landmarks, including Spaceship Earth and the skyscrapers of downtown.
Sea of Power, Sea of Fun
Shamu lives on the far side of the lake (which you may remember as the setting for the hilarious Jaws IV), along with a brand new kiddie section and walruses.
Shamu Stadium ACTIVITY The home to One Ocean has something to offer outside of showtime. A few of the killer whales are visible in the viewing area (accessed from the lakefront) that surveys one of their holding pods. Above the surface of that pen, the Dine with Shamu 
supper (p. 156) is held, separated by netting from the water (reserve several weeks ahead).
Sesame Street at SeaWorld Orlando ACTIVITY Behind Shamu Stadium, kids have their own amusement area. Early 2019 (rushed 3 years ahead of schedule to shore up attendance bleed) sees the opening of the product of SeaWorld’s partnership with Sesame Workshop. Children can romp among re-created sets of Mr. Hooper’s store, Abby Cadabby’s garden, and the 123 stoop, but there are some mild carnival-style wet and dry rides, too. The park promises roaming characters such as Big Bird, Bert, Ernie, Grover, and Cookie Monster, plus a new parade—a first for SeaWorld Orlando—starring Elmo (check the map for the times). Some of the rides from Shamu’s Happy Harbor, the whale-themed kiddie enclave that stood here before, will remain and be re-themed to Sesame Street, including a carousel, an 800-foot kiddie coaster, and a bench that lifts kids 20 feet off the ground before gently bringing them back down in a series of short drops. It makes for adorable photos.
Wild Arctic ACTIVITY/RIDE One of SeaWorld’s most interesting exhibitions deserves more attention than it gets marooned here, at the Nowheresville end of the park, and the only time it seems crowded is a half-hour after every Shamu showtime. There are two ways to get in. Either you opt for the motion-simulator ride that re-creates a turbulent 5-minute helicopter ride (an old ride, and its bumpiness makes me ill), or you much more quickly make straight for the swimmers after a short movie. After that, you can walk through at your own pace, enjoying first a surface view and then an underwater look at the Pacific walruses, and the parks’ utterly beautiful white beluga whales, which look like swimming porcelain. There are not currently any polar bears; the last elderly one died in 2014 and has not been replaced. There’s probably more than a half-hour’s worth of investigation here, including mock-ups of a polar research station and a fake “bear den” for young kids to explore. You’ll also find it very cooling, which makes it a must on hot days.
Where to Eat at SeaWorld
In case you were wondering, SeaWorld only serves sustainable seafood. Prices are in line with everyone else’s: $12–$14 a meal, before a drink. All-Day Dining Deals (one entree, one side or dessert, one nonalcoholic drink each time through line) cost $35 for adults and $20 for kids; rare is the person who will stay (or eat) long enough to make it pay off.
Disney World has its Mouse-ear ice-cream bar, but at SeaWorld, you’ll be served a variety shaped like Shamu ($5). Plastic drinking straws choke animals, so you don’t get one. SeaWorld often has a happy hour good for 2-for-1 drinks, usually at Flamecraft Bar and Sharks Underwater Bar; ask if it’s available.
The headline meal event is Up-Close Dining at Shamu Stadium , served from noon to 2pm in peak summer and from 4:30 to 6:30pm in other seasons alongside the orca pools with the narration of trainers. Prices fluctuate by the day, but expect $30 to $36 for adults and $15 to $25 for kids. On weekends and in high season, look for Breakfast with Elmo and Friends ( 407/545-5500; $30 adults, $15 kids; 9:15am).
Expedition Café , with exposed seating outside Antarctica, serves ($11–$15) teriyaki chicken, beef and pepper steak, and chef’s salad.
The Seafire Grill , at the Waterfront, does fajitas, rice bowls, and salads, and the newly installed Flamecraft Bar has some appealing terrace seating overlooking the lagoon and a changing selection of Florida craft beers (Funky Buddha, Bold City, 3 Daughters, and Dead Lizard, which is made in Orlando). It’s becoming a hangout; there’s even occasional live acoustic music.
Farther up the Waterfront, the Spice Mill Burgers offers steak or chickpea burgers, Buffalo chicken sandwiches, and chicken Caesar salad, and it also has pretty water views. Voyagers Smokehouse , facing the Seaport Theater’s entrance, offers baby back ribs, spare ribs, and barbecue chicken.
Like Epcot’s The Seas, the park devotes a section of an underwater viewing area to Sharks Underwater Grill & Bar , one of the park’s premier tables (open 11:30am). It doesn’t particularly specialize in seafood. Despite some cute touches, such as a bar that’s also an aquarium and chairs that look like sharks’ teeth, prices such as $29 for tempura shrimp and $29 for chicken piccata strike me as too high (salads are $12; kids’ meals are $13). Some tables are right against the glass, but I prefer the ones farther back, which have a wider view.
New this year is Waterway Grill, indoors behind Infinity Falls. In addition to casual South American–style food, it has a good selection of a dozen beers on tap, some of them craft brews from around the state, such as Florida Avenue from Tampa and Swamp Head from Gainesville.
Captain Pete’s Island Hot Dogs in the Key West area has foot-longs such as one with sauerkraut ($9–$12). At the Shamu end of the boardwalk, Mango Joe’s Cafe does a short menu of burgers, Italian subs, and pizza.
Backstage Tours
As a place that prides itself on sharing conservation information—in fact, as a place that keeps animals on display, its reputation depends on it—SeaWorld (www.seaworldorlando.com; 800/327-2424) offers Exclusive Park Experiences that are less about touting its vaunted design team, as Disney’s are, and more for learning about animal care.
SeaWorld’s Other Parks
Aquatica WATER PARK SeaWorld’s water slide park is across International Drive from its parent park (a free, 3-min. van ride links it), and you can pay for admission as an add-on to your SeaWorld visit. On hot days, it can be busier than SeaWorld itself. It’s a perfectly nice park, favored somewhat by locals because it’s less gimmicky than the others in town. Newly added for 2018 was Ray Rush, a family raft slide through a few elements like an enclosed sphere and a manta-shaped parabola. The Dolphin Plunge slide is a tube that curls off a tower and then turns clear acrylic as it passes through a habitat for Commerson’s dolphins. It looks exciting on paper, but in truth you’re going too fast to see anything, even if the dolphins could be reliably near the tubes (they aren’t) and there wasn’t water splashing in your eyes (there is, but don’t fret because there’s a viewing cave opposite Kiwi Traders). There are nearly two dozen slides, many of them similar to each other, the most intense of which is Ihu’s Breakaway Falls, three curling slides that you begin by standing eight stories up in a shower-sized chamber on a floor that gives way, dropping you onto the ride. The pleasantly aggressive lazy river of Loggerhead Lane passes you by a big window into an aquarium. Roa’s Rapids is novel in that it’s a river with a very fast current meant to sweep your body along, without a tube (floaters, grab a life vest—they’re free). You can pay $35 adults, $20 kids for unlimited fare. Otherwise, Banana Beach does not-so-great chicken, pizza, and hot dogs at typical prices; Mango Market sells chicken tenders, burgers, and sandwiches; and Waterstone Grill slings the usual grub, all $11 to $15. If you’re bringing a picnic, stick to snack-sized bags; large ones will be confiscated and so will straws of any kind, which choke animals. For free wristbands that allow you to go cashless, sign up at the ticket booth or Info desks as you enter. Tip: Bring pool footwear because the sidewalks get hot. There are unattended shoe cubbies by each ride. If you pay $25 for Quick Queue, you can jump the lines.
5800 Water Play Way, Orlando. https://aquatica.com/orlando/. 888/800-5447. $65 adults, $60 kids 3–9; online tickets $10 less, online discounts for combination SeaWorld tickets; lockers $15–$20; reserved lounger $20; private cabanas $50–$300; parking $22 (free if you visited SeaWorld earlier that day), $16 online.
Discovery Cove THEME PARK The most expensive park in town (prices shift by the season) is an all-inclusive experience. Only around 1,000 people a day are admitted, guaranteeing this faux tropical idyll is not marred by a single queue. Admission lanyards include breakfast, equipment rental, sunscreen, beer if you’re of age, and unlimited lunch—a good one, too, with options such as fresh grilled tilapia (a fish that drew the short straw at SeaWorld, I guess). Discovery Cove, in fact, is essentially a free-range playground. When you arrive, first thing in the morning, you’re greeted under a vaulted atrium more redolent of a five-star island resort than a theme park. Coffee is poured, and once you’re checked in you’re set loose to do as you wish. Wade from perfect white sand into Serenity Bay, feed fresh fruit to the houseguests at the Explorer’s Aviary for tropical birds, snorkel with barbless rays over the trenches of The Grand Reef, swim to habitats for marmoset monkeys and otters in the Freshwater Oasis, or float with a pool noodle down the slow-floating Wind-Away River, which passes through waterfalls into the aviary, preventing the birds from escaping. Many guests elect to simply kick back on a lounger (there are plenty) on incredibly silky sand (imported, of course) at the natural-looking pool. Since everyone wears free wetsuits or vests, there isn’t much call for body shame or sunburned shoulders. When it’s your turn—if you’ve paid extra—guests older than 5 can head to the Dolphin Lagoon, where in small groups of about eight you wade into the chilly water and meet one of the pod. Like children, dolphins have distinct personalities and must be paired to people the trainers think they’ll enjoy being with—but many of these dolphins are docile and friendly, having dwelled at SeaWorld for decades. Here, the mostly hand-reared animals peer at you with a logician’s eye while your trainer shows you basic hand signals. The climax of the 30-minute interaction is the moment when you grasp two of the creature’s fins and it swims, you in tow, for about 30 feet. Naturally, a photographer is on hand so if you want images or video, you’ll pay for that, too, pushing a day over $400. Other add-on experiences: a shallow-water Shark Swim ($100); Ray Feeding ($60); and SeaVenture (from $49, minimum age 10), which places an air helmet on your head and brings you underwater to walk along the floor of the Grand Reef. Really, though, even a quiet day here is divine.
6000 Discovery Cove Way, Orlando. www.discoverycove.com. 407/513-4600. Price changes with the seasons, but ranges are $149–$240, including free admission to SeaWorld and Aquatica for 2 weeks, plus $50–$190 for 30-min. dolphin interaction. Parking included in admission. Daily 8am–5:30pm.
Legoland Florida is not just the youngest Central Florida theme park. It’s also the oldest. That’s because it took over the historic property of Cypress Gardens, a park on the cypress tree–lined shores of pretty Lake Eloise that helped put Orlando on the tourist map. Today, this extremely kid-friendly, soothingly mellow 150-acre park 45 minutes south of Disney World is a godsend for parents who crave a breather from the mechanical and authoritarian environment of Disney World. No other Florida park feels so spacious and caters so directly to kids aged 2 to 12. Everything is designed for little ones, from easy-to-tackle versions of adult rides to a large selection of things to do—somehow, its energy is not stressful, and there are two good hotels (p. 264).
Highlights include Lost Kingdom Adventure, an indoor target practice game in the style of a Lego-bright Indiana Jones tomb; easygoing boat tour The Quest for Chi; Coastersaurus, a mild out-and-back wooden roller coaster suitable for grammar school lightweights; DUPLO Valley for toddler rides; Driving School, the Ford-sponsored, free-driving mini-auto course that teaches kids how to obey traffic rules (or, in truth, ignore their first ones); The Great Lego Race, a wild mouse coaster where you can wear virtual reality goggles for an out-of-body experience (it’s also perfectly situated for nonriders to take embarrassing shots of loved ones’ faces as they hurtle downhill); Flying School, a tiny hanging coaster for a kid’s first grown-up coaster thrills; Safari Trek, a wholly adorable car ride past wild African animals made of Legos; and Royal Joust, a mini steeplechase-style plastic horse race for wee ones that just may be the cutest ride in the world. For a break from the excitement, a healthy portion of the carefully tended Cypress Gardens Historic Botanical Garden (closes 30 min. before the park) was preserved, complete with Spanish moss, cypress knees jutting from tannic water, old-growth banyans (protected in the winter by hidden gas heaters), and signs warning of alligators, which live in the lake. Only now do you remember you’re in Florida, which is sad, considering Florida made its tourist name by selling its natural wonders. Along its lakefront, search for a Florida-shaped swimming pool. It was built for Esther Williams’s Easy to Love (1953), a jaw-dropping heli-water-ski MGM picture. For all that, and lots more like it, nothing competes with the fascination of Miniland, the tour de force display of Lego construction. The longer you linger, the more touches you see: a Space Shuttle misting during takeoff, dueling pirate ships, a mini Star Wars cantina, and marching bands in front of the Capitol. If you like those gags, stick around for the signature Pirates’ Cove Live Water Ski Show, which replaces Cypress Gardens’ pyramids of maidens with ski-jumping socket-headed Minifigure toy people. On top of all that, there’s a modest Water Park (add $20, summers and warm-season weekends) attached, and the option to buy an unlimited pizza and pasta buffet, with fountain drinks ($10, in advance). Legoland offers $5 round-trip shuttles from ICON Orlando 360 ( 877/350-5346). Because it usually closes by evening, arrive near opening time to get the most out of a day.
1 Legoland Way, Winter Haven. http://florida.legoland.com. 877/350-5346. Admission $100 adults, $95 ages 3–12 and 60+ (advance purchase $20/$15 cheaper). Open daily 10am to 5pm–8pm, depending on the day, closed Tues–Wed outside of high season.
Seventy miles southwest of Disney, and just 8 miles northwest of Tampa, Busch Gardens Tampa Bay (3000 E. Busch Blvd., at 40th St.; www.buschgardens.com/tampa; 813/884-4386), dating to 1959, is a world-class theme park combining thrill rides with top-notch animal enclosures for gorillas, rhino, and other rare creatures—more than 300 species in all. Coasters are its jam. The newest ones are the most terrifying: 335-foot-tall (102 m) Falcon’s Fury, America’s tallest drop tower sends riders plummeting face-down, and Cobra’s Curse, a novel steel coaster that begins with an elevator instead of a hill on which the cars gently spin as they race along. Other detour-worthy roller coasters include the vertical drop of SheiKra and the deliriously sidewinding launch coaster Cheetah Hunt. If the coaster wars were an arms race, Busch Gardens easily annihilates Orlando’s efforts, yet relatively few tourists make the 75-minute trip here—and it’s a shame that such a high-quality theme park winds up being the eighth-best choice for most Orlando visitors. The park knows coaxing visitors from Orlando is a problem, so it grants free round-trip coach transportation from many Orlando hotels with a ticket ( 800/221-1339).
Past That turnstile in the Sky
Not all of Orlando’s attractions have thrived. Tupperware Museum, we miss you. Kindly remove your Mouse ears to honor the forgotten fun—if not for an accident of time, you’d be vacationing here instead:
Circus World (1974–86): Started by Mattel as a walk-through museum dedicated to circus history (after all, most of the big-top crews wintered in Florida), it collapsed under its own weight after competition with Disney tempted it into building too many rides. Also, clowns are terrifying.
Boardwalk Baseball (1987–90): Textbook publisher Harcourt, Brace and Jovanovich recycled Circus World in the image of Florida’s other winter tradition, baseball, and the Kansas City Royals were enticed to train there. Few cared. On January 17, 1990, 1,000 guests were asked to leave.
Xanadu (1983–96): This walk-through “home of the future” was made by coating giant balloons with polyurethane—an early exercise in ergonomics. Sister homes in Gatlinburg and Wisconsin Dells were also built, but all outlived their curiosity value quickly. You’ll find the site near Mile Marker 12 of U.S. 192.
JungleLand Zoo (1995–2002): The demise of this low-rent Gatorland rip-off was hastened in 1997 when a lioness went missing among Kissimmee’s motels for 3 days. A few trainers got nipped by the gators, too. Bad news.
Splendid China (1993–2003): On 73 acres 3 miles west of Disney’s main gate, China’s wonders (the Forbidden City, a Great Wall segment containing 6.5 million bricks, and so on) were rebuilt in miniature. Who would blow $100 million on such a bad idea? The Chinese government, which pulled the strings.
River Country (1976–2005): Disney’s first water park, incorporated into Bay Lake beside Fort Wilderness Resort, simply wasn’t good enough anymore.
Admission to the park is $105 for everyone, with decent discounts often available online for pre-purchase. Or for $150 ($100 online), buy a ticket that gets you SeaWorld, too. Parking is $22 ($1 less if bought online).
