SNAP! OWWWEEEEEE!
That’s the sound of Tyson snapping Kevin’s swimmers. This swimming lesson is falling apart faster than toilet paper in the bath.
‘Tyson! I said stop that!’ Miss Sweet commands. Chaz looks a little scared – like he’s never seen a mob of out-of-control eleven-year-olds before. ‘My goodness! This class! What has gotten into you lot today?’
‘Not all of us, Miss Sweet,’ Tyson’s twin sister, Pip, says, holding a plastic bottle of something that looks like sunscreen in her hand.
‘You’re right, Pip. I’m sorry. I’ve seen you passing out . . . whatever that is to everyone.’
‘It’s moisturiser. It helps our skin heal from the damage the chlorine will do to it,’ she says, smiling.
‘That’s very responsible of you,’ Miss Sweet says. Then she mutters under her breath, ‘Honestly, it’s like there’s a good twin and a bad twin.’
‘Which one am I?’ Tyson jokes.
Miss Sweet glares at him from behind her glasses.
Ooh. I can answer that!
‘Well, Miss Sweet,’ I explain, giving her a knowing smile. ‘When two people love each other . . .’
‘Oh shh, Max!’ Miss Sweet shoots me a warning look.
What?
‘I just tell everyone I was adopted, Miss Sweet,’ Pip says, as though this explains everything. Of course it doesn’t.
‘You were adopted,’ Abby says.
‘That’s why I tell everyone that.’ Pip nods.
‘But we were adopted together!’ Tyson argues.
This whole conversation is ridiculous, because everyone knows that Pip and Tyson live with their adoptive dad, the famous actor George Khan, in a mansion on the other side of Redhill.
Miss Sweet holds out hush fingers to both of them. I can tell she’s very close to reaching her limit. I’m not really sure what’s going to happen when she does though. In the background, Chaz disappears underwater like a shy crocodile. Maybe Miss Sweet will join him.
She takes a deep breath, as though she’s trying to remember where she left her calm voice.
‘All I’m trying to say, Tyson, is can’t you just be a little more like your sister?’ Miss Sweet pleads. ‘For the sake of my sanity?’
Miss Sweet raises her eyebrows. She puts one hand on Tyson’s shoulder and, before he can fire back at his sister, Miss Sweet stage-whispers, loud enough for all of us to hear.
‘Sounds like a challenge to me, Tyson,’ she says. His eyes go wide. ‘Now, can we all get back to swimming, please?’
Miss Sweet walks off towards Kevin and Lee. She needs to check if their bottoms are okay.
‘Of course I could be good,’ Tyson calls after her. ‘If I wanted to.’
‘Nup. No way.’ Pip folds her arms.
Hang on a second. I’ve got an idea. This could be fun. I walk over and stand next to Pip.
‘The bad twin!’ Pip looks appalled by the idea. ‘You mean not doing what you’re told? Not listening? Being stupid? How easy is that?’
Tyson grins. ‘Not as easy as I make it look.’
‘Then there we have it,’ I say, putting one hand on either of their shoulders. This is what I do. I bring people together. ‘You both think you can do what the other one does. So you two need to swap for the rest of the week. Tyson, you will be the good twin.’
‘With my eyes closed,’ he says.
‘And, Pip, you will be the bad twin,’ I say.
Pip folds her arms and looks away.
‘Whatever,’ she shrugs.
Wow. That was really weird.
Pip looks back over her shoulder at us with a smile. ‘Is that what the bad twin would say?’