25
Teena’s stomach ached. She’d overdone it on the Swedish Fish—they were her weakness. Normally, because she was not Fatass McEveryGirl, she’d eat only one Swedish Fish at the end of each day. She had to rein herself in like that. If she had even two, all hell broke loose, and she’d commit fish-icide, downing the little red swimmers faster than you could say Ja.
She’d done that today. All this end-of-the-world, last-night-on-Earth talk was getting to her. So was the fact that Leo was still in la-la land over Sarabeth.
They were making Teena sicker than the gummy ball lodged beneath her ribcage. They’d giggled over conversation hearts at the candy store as if Teena and Evan weren’t even there. In Macy’s, Sarabeth had tried on a green strapless prom dress, and Leo donned a tux with a matching cummerbund. In the food court, Sarabeth and Leo had eaten halves of a sandwich like they were in the middle of Central Park with doves tweeting melodiously overhead.
She wanted to let Sarabeth have him. She really did. But every time they shared a glance or laughed at one of each other’s jokes, Teena just plain hurt.
Now the four of them were preparing to camp out at Bed Bath & Beyond. Since several hours had passed with no sign of the aliens, they decided they had some time to relax and strategize at a less frantic pace.
They were gathered in the outdoor furniture section, each wearing a Snuggie. Teena had held out for as long as she could, but now even she was draped in pink fleece. Among several deck chairs were a cluster of Crock-Pots they’d filled with scented candles, like a campfire. A schizophrenic odor cloud of vanilla, pine, Tahitian Dream, coconut, Sea Breeze, and jasmine hung in the stale store air. Propped up between two inflatable palm trees was a whiteboard where Sarabeth had started to scribble drawings of the ship, and lists of necessities, like perfume, flashlights, and first-aid gear. But Leo, with his irritating concern for Sarabeth’s well-being, had convinced her to finish it later, after she got some rest.
Now Leo and Evan were playing bartender at one of the thatch-roofed tiki bars that everyone in Tinley Hills seemed to purchase after returning from a Sandals vacation. In a town with no bars or liquor stores, people made sure they could drink heavily at home. Leo had lifted several bottles of booze from a cabinet next to his boss’s desk. He hadn’t had the key for it, but picking the lock had proved easy.
“What do you guys want?” Leo asked, trying to catch a bottle of tequila behind his back. Evan reached out and grabbed it before it hit the floor. “Sarabeth, you seem like you have a refined palate. No girly, fruity stuff for you. Something with a little burn maybe, like a whiskey and Coke?”
Teena’s jaw clenched at what felt like an inadvertent dig at her own taste for drinks with paper umbrellas.
“Whatever you think,” Sarabeth said, practically melting in a puddle at Leo’s feet.
“Whiskey it is,” he said, and with a smirk toward Evan, added, “Dude, think you can mix up something pretty and pink for Teena?”
Teena did an isometric abdominal crunch, holding the muscles taut as she counted to ten in her head. She’d made a New Year’s resolution to calm herself this way every time something bothered her. It didn’t help with the bother, but after several months of being irritated, she did feel a nice firmness in her obliques.
Ugh. So Leo had picked someone else. What was in the McAuley DNA that couldn’t take coming in second? She was teasing poor Evan with suggestive arm brushes. Next, she’d be giving Church Boy lap dances just to piss off Leo. Wasn’t a life-or-death situation enough to correct her mean-girl ways?
Leo finished mixing two whiskey drinks for him and Sarabeth, leaving Evan shaking a pink fruity concoction that Teena found enticing in spite of herself. And in spite of her stomach’s sea of Swedish Fish.
He poured the drink into two tumblers with flamingo necks for handles and handed one to her, looking a little proud of himself. “I think it’s a strawberry daiquiri. But it’s pretty strong,” he said, taking a sip and grimacing as he double-checked the recipe in The Bartender’s Handbook. His puzzled pursed lips were cuter than Teena wanted to admit. “I don’t have a ton of bartending experience. But I figured, why not?”
Teena sipped. Why not? was right. The cocktail was good. Evan must have been heavy-handed in both the daiquiri mix and the rum because the little chill running over Teena’s skin ceased, leaving her instead with the milky warmth of being rum-soaked.
Across from her, Sarabeth was nursing her cocktail. She probably didn’t like whiskey any better than Teena did. And yet, her flushed cheeks and easy sips indicated she was having a good time. Sarabeth looked up and caught Teena staring at her. She smiled the kind of smile one girlfriend smiles at another one when she’s talking to a guy she really likes and she wants her friend to squeal with happy-for-you glee. Teena took another gulp of her drink and tried to scoot closer to Evan to see if Leo would notice, even as a little voice inside said, “Give it up, already.”
Coupled with their exhaustion and the adrenaline-fueled nature of the last two days, the booze worked fast. Teena felt like she was thirteen again and had just taken her first shot of Rumple Minze in Becka Gierstakas’s basement. Now that things had slowed down, the totality of their situation dawned on Teena. They weren’t just pre-gaming; this very well could be her last drink ever.
“Don’t you guys think it’s weird that there’s no military evacuating the town or anything?” She looked at her co-combatants expectantly. “Seriously, where is everyone?”
“I thought we established that the aliens were taking everyone.” Leo drank. “Just absconding with them.”
“Yeah, to their ship.” Evan drank.
“Teena’s right, though. How is it possible we’ve seen only, like, three other people? This is a big town.” Sarabeth drank. “And what about people from other towns?”
“Why are you guys debating? Aliens are fucked-up shit. Maybe they put everyone to sleep in their houses.” Leo drank. “If you’ve ever read any alien theory, you’d know that experts believe they’re more efficient than humans and might even be able to bend space and time, or execute mass mind-control.”
Teena raised an eyebrow. “Are you for real? Alien experts? Who believes that shit?” She smirked at Leo. He could say what he wanted about her being bitchy, but she knew he was turned on by girls who didn’t fall for his bullshit. “And why are you reading alien theory?”
Leo smirked back at her, and for a second, she could feel that familiar crackle of his. He might have acted like it was just sex between them, but he’d always found her a little interesting, too. “Let’s just say I read it because I—unlike some people—never believed aliens were outside the realm of possibility.” He sounded peeved, but he was grinning at her. Bingo. She drank, this time with satisfaction.
“Maybe the military is scared. Or unprepared.” Evan drank. Their roundtable discussion had become a remedial drinking game. You spoke, you drank.
“Whatever, I still think it’s fucked-up. You don’t just let your whole town get wiped off the map by aliens.” Teena drank.
“Maybe every town is getting wiped off the map.” Sarabeth drank.
“It doesn’t matter. For all we know, we’re who’s left. And I’m pretty sure we’re teetering into wastedness,” Leo said. They drank. Teena hated that Sarabeth was swigging whiskey while she was downing a daiquiri, but she had to admit, Evan’s cocktail was really good. If she could just transplant a little of Leo’s swagger into Evan, she could almost picture kissing him. He’d probably play with her hair. She loved that.
“So, what do you guys think you’ll do if you survive? Like, do we just finish high school?” Seated cross-legged on the floor, Sarabeth leaned in Leo’s direction. She put one hand on the floor for balance, and it wasn’t lost on Teena that Leo put a hand down, too, causing their pinkies to just barely touch. Teena suddenly wondered if the aliens could erase relationship memories, like in that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind movie. She needed Leo out of her head.
“Well, there’s some question about whether I’d finish high school, ever,” Leo said, giving his whole focus to Sarabeth, like his interaction with Teena from moments ago was barely a memory. “Of course, if they take out Ermer High, maybe my permanent record will be vanquished.”
“Oh, please,” Teena said, “you’re practically a genius.” Leo looked at her again and smiled appreciatively. Score another point.
“What do you think you’ll do, Sarabeth?” Leo said, turning right back to the gangly Snuggied succubus.
Sarabeth looked up at the ceiling, her oversize anime eyes reminding Teena of an annoying Zooey Deschanel type. “I know I need to finish high school, but the whole accredited-college thing is seeming a little lame to me all of a sudden.” She sipped her drink like some bitch out of an F. Scott Fitzgerald book. Leo’s attention brought something out of her. It was like watching a butterfly emerge from a cocoon, without the nasty larva stage. Sarabeth was really, truly happy. “I think I want to go to one of those cooking academies in France. Just imagine, buying fresh ingredients at the markets, walking on cobblestone streets that are actually old and not just … ”
“ … and not just some developer’s way of making a new mall seem upscale?” Leo finished for her.
Cobblestones were a marker of upscale retail. Teena fumed. Why did Leo so aggressively scorn her world?
“Yeah, I used to want a baseball scholarship. But it’s not like I’ll make the majors. Maybe it’d be good to bum around for a while,” Evan said, refreshing his flamingo drink with another pour of rum. He gestured at Teena, offering to add some to her drink. She grabbed the bottle from him and poured with abandon. Evan didn’t seem to notice her irritation and smiled sweetly.
“Dude, free college?” Leo said. “I have a cousin who’s still paying for her art history major ten years later. I’m not usually the voice of reason, but why not just go and use the chance to study something really useless.” He gestured with his tumbler of whiskey, like the world was at Evan’s feet.
Evan laughed. “Maybe. Whatever will piss my stepdad off the most would be awesome. Something like evolutionary science.”
Leo raised his glass. “Cheers to that,” he said. He and Evan clinked. Leo dismissively clinked with Teena, then lifted his glass to Sarabeth. “Cheers,” he said in a whisper.
Fuck. This.
No one had even asked her what she wanted to do after this was over. It was like they assumed she would die, or like she was already dead. This was so not a normal day in the life of Teena McAuley.
Again. Fuck. This. If it was so easy for Leo to ignore her, maybe she just needed to do something he couldn’t ignore. Subtlety wasn’t her style, anyway.
Step one. Lose the Snuggie. She pulled the pink blanket-dress over her head, and even though the cold air hit her instantly, she reached her arms over her head with her chest out and sighed into the stretch. During their mall adventure, she’d traded her hoodie and torn jeans for a snug V-neck and a new pair of Paiges.
Step two. Eye contact with Leo. “Can I try some of that?” She gestured to Leo’s tumbler. He shrugged and handed it to her, but she could tell that he was curious. “Thanks,” she purred¸ and tossed back a healthy swig. Handing him the glass back with one hand, she wiped her mouth with the other lustily. “That hit the spot.”
Step three. Acquire target. She turned her gaze pointedly to Evan. “Evan, would you come with me?” She asked this in her sweetest voice. As he stood up, in a voice much less sweet, she added in the loudest whisper she could manage, “I want to show you something in the bedding section.” The word bedding was like a trigger. Evan’s blue eyes went wide, even though he tried to nod like girls used the word bedding around him all the time. Sarabeth actually blushed. And Leo looked at her for just a few seconds too long, as if to say, “What are you doing?”
She grabbed Evan’s hand and began to pull him away.
Leo knew what she was doing, or at least what she was pretending to do. If he didn’t like it, he knew exactly where to find her.