I was lucky to be born into a very large extended family. This good fortune fuels my passion about actively helping children remain connected to their parents and other relatives rather than passively allowing them to lose these ties.
I am grateful to the families who have shared with me their painful experiences. They have taught me much about how parent-child conflicts develop and about how to protect children from their parents’ battles. Some of their stories are told in these pages with details changed to preserve anonymity.
Every field has its pioneers who make the initial contributions that form the foundation for subsequent work. I have learned much from the work of Dr. Richard A. Gardner, Dr. Stanley S. Clawar, and Dr. Brynne V. Rivlin who first brought the problem of alienated children to the attention of the legal and mental health professions.
Special thanks go to Dr. John A. Zervopoulos, who took time from his busy schedule to read the entire manuscript and offer excellent suggestions for improvement. My understanding of the problems of alienated children has been enriched by discussions with him and with Dr. Mark R. Otis, both of whom gave valuable feedback on additions to the revised edition.
My brother, Alan Warshak, earns my gratitude for educating me about Judaism’s prohibitions against bad-mouthing and securing for me, on short notice, a very hard to find videotape. My niece, Nicole Warshak, offered superb suggestions that improved the clarity, flow, and organization of the Afterword.
Susan Ginsburg encouraged me to write the book and then connected me with Simon Lipskar, whose wise guidance helped shape the book proposal so that it would be welcomed into a good home. He then found just the right home with Judith Regan, whose enthusiasm for the book is deeply appreciated. Tia Maggini made valuable suggestions that improved the structure of the book and made it more reader-friendly. I am grateful to Jessica Deputato for her diligent attention to details and for her outstanding contributions to the editing and production of the updated edition.
Working with Cassie Jones was a pleasure. She set a high standard for the book, never allowing my wish to be finished to overcome her gentle but firm judgment that there was still more to do. Her eye for details was matched by a keen attention to the flow of the manuscript. If the book grabs and holds the reader’s attention, she deserves the credit.
I have lived and breathed this book for more years than I care to acknowledge, and my wife, Sandra, has lived and breathed it with me. She has done so with grace, warmth, and love. Her empathy for the pain that leads to divorce poison and the anguish that results from it, and her conviction that this was a book that should be written, gave me the inspiration to take on the project. Her unflagging enthusiasm gave me the fuel to persist to the end. Her professional insights, based on her own work with alienated children and their parents, have enriched the book. I thank her for all this, and for enriching my life beyond my wildest dreams.