Divorce Poison

Contents

A Note to the Reader

Introduction: Stealing the Soul

1 The Delicate Balance

The United Front

When Silence Is Not Golden

How to Distinguish Between Helpful and Harmful Criticism

2 Bad-Mouthing, Bashing, and Brainwashing

Parental Alienation Syndrome

Children Who Resist Divorce Poison

3 Alienated Children

The Hate Campaign

Trivial Explanations for the Hatred

False Abuse Accusations

Polarizing Parents: Saints and Sinners

Parroting Adults

Declaration of Independence

Hatred by Association

Alienation Without Divorce Poison

Justified Alienation

Child-Driven Alienation

Understanding the Roots of Alienation

Is It Alienation or Not?

False Accusations of Parental Alienation

4 Malignant Motives

Poor Boundaries

Seeking Validation

Holding On with Hate

Hostility Toward the Children

Custody Litigation

Preventing Alienation During Custody Litigation

5 The Alienating Environment

6 The Corruption of Reality

Selective Attention

Judging Behavior Out of Context

Concealing Contrary Facts

Revisionist History

The Total Change Theory

Suggestions and Innuendos

Rationalization

Holier Than Thou

With God on Our Side

“The Truth”

Cloak and Dagger

Cognitive Dissonance

Tamper-Resistant Packaging

7 Poison Control

The Power of Indirect Communication

Fly on the Wall

Two Steps Removed

Using Third Parties

Strike While the Iron Is Cold

Creating Bridges

Healing Experiences

Memorializing the Positive

The Way We Were

Sowing Seeds in the Psyche

Divide and Conquer: The Value of Separating Siblings

Contagion Control: Helping Children Stay Neutral

With God on Our Side—Revisited

Agree to Disagree

No One’s Perfect

Think for Yourself

Brainwashing 101

Films and Television

Become a Better Parent

Avoid Common Errors

Ann Landers’s Reconciliation Day

8 Getting Professional Help

When to Call the Therapist

How Therapy Can Help

How You Can Help Your Therapist

Selecting Therapists

Conditions of Treatment

Child Custody Evaluations

Options for Healing Damaged Parent-Child Relationships

Hiring an Attorney

9 Letting Go

Staying in Touch after Letting Go

Alienated Children as Adults

Reconnecting with Adult Alienated Children

Coping with the Loss

Hope for the Future

Afterword: Restoring Lost Identities and Lost Relationships

Searchable Terms

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Other Books by Dr. Richard A. Warshak

About the Publisher