3
NEGATIVITY
Lighting the Way When Everything Goes Dark
Do you ever feel like the world—even the moon and the sun!—is your enemy? And let’s not get started on Mercury retrograde.
Sometimes you’re trying so hard to just function, but the seams are splitting. You can feel the light around you dimming, becoming foggy, murky, polluted.
The spells, rituals, and practices in this chapter are designed for those moments when your world weariness has nearly taken over—when protesting and resisting and commuting and trying and hurting have gotten into the core of your bones. These practices are designed to give you back your autonomy and enchantment, so that you can think, feel, decompress, and forgive. So that you can shimmer again.
As you move through the spells in this chapter, remember that the most powerful thing you can do is keep a careful record of your emotional and psychic well-being. Start by using your journal to record your feelings: Are you resentful? Angry? Do you feel like you wake up in a bad mood? After you’ve worked a spell or ritual, do you feel lighter? Less angry? More intuitive? Take note of these changes—and what you think may have contributed to the change.
Many magic practitioners believe that what you bring to the table is what you get. If you sew crops of negativity, you will reap it for the year to come. Put into your practice what you want to take from it: positivity, respect, honor.
That said, the one thing this book is not is chronically positive. That’s because darkness and light, and all of those various, married energies—both the negative and the positive ones—coexist; that duality (and the gray in-between) is what makes our lives meaningful.
Positivity is useful, but it’s often linked with privilege. We all have light and dark times. With magic, all humans are on equal footing. Magic asks us to work through our emotions (all of them) and direct our intent—not to pretend we don’t feel badly. If you can bring a genuine desire to overcome, to grow, to find a way to transform your negativity through magic, that’s the goal.
A Ritual to Get Rid of Imposter Syndrome
You walk into a meeting surrounded by your talented, fabulous peers, who are telling you exactly how talented and fabulous you are. But you have the sense that you’re hiding a wild secret: You’re not actually talented, you’re not fabulous, and you don’t even know why you’re there.
Your accomplishments feel like a misrepresentation of who you “really” are—a failure—and soon enough, everyone will find out. You don’t deserve success. You didn’t work hard enough. Your voice doesn’t matter.
This is imposter syndrome, and even witches aren’t immune to it. This spell will help you overcome and rewire that complex web of feelings.
Materials
A small handheld mirror
A small gift for yourself—a cup of coffee, a new crystal, a single rose, a new deck of cards, a tube of lipstick, a pair of socks, whatever you like
A pen
A piece of paper
Gaze into the mirror. See your eyes, your skin, your hair. Now see beyond your exterior. Shut your eyes and think about your accomplishments, even if the imposter voice chimes in. Pool them in your mind, making a mental slideshow. Every time you think of an accomplishment, big or small, say:
I made this happen.
Give yourself your gift. Thank yourself for your accomplishments and acknowledge that you made them happen. List them on paper. Number them so each is unique and separate. Carry this magical reminder with you, so you can reread it whenever you need to. Reach for it when you feel the imposter creep in. Reroute your mental energy by switching to positive thoughts when a negative one pops up; it takes practice and intent, but with that extra dose of magic, you’ll start a new habit.
An Earthing Activity to Reduce Stress from Political Chaos
Do you ever wake up and feel like you’re living in a different reality? If you’re anything like me, you may expend a great deal of your personal emotional energy and labor during times of intense political turmoil—and it’s exhausting, especially if you’re without inspiring leaders or supportive communities.
If you’ve lost hours to the news, labored over racist or sexist comments on social media, or dealt with family members whose political ideologies feel like an attack on your person (you’re not alone), you know how hard it is to catch a break. I find it nearly impossible to respond to the hateful things I read the second I wake up, but I do try to give myself some time to mindfully disengage.
To resist, create revolution, break stigmas, and educate others, we need all our energy and vision—but we can’t exactly resist or advocate for our beliefs when our bodies and minds aren’t well nurtured.
This is a sort of ritualized practice I do when the tides get rough, when I start feeling myself go numb, and when I lose sight of the fact that this world still does offer empathic and compassionate energies Best part: It’s doable pretty much anywhere.
Materials
A backyard, local park, or garden
A bag
Head to a local park or a community garden and simply take fifteen minutes to breathe deeply—in through your nose, out through your mouth—as you gaze at the raw nature that surrounds you.
Notice everything. What colors do you see? What do you smell? Is there water? Is the soil wet? Are there leaves falling? Are there insects buzzing? Remind yourself that we are all made of the same star stuff that created this earth and its elements.
Next, collect some fallen leaves or flower petals, or stones, and gather them in your bag. (It’s always nice to ask the earth first.) Run your hand through blades of grass, and take off your shoes to feel the earth under your feet. Whatever your beliefs, nature has an innate magic. In fact, according to many studies, spending time in nature can lower your blood pressure, reduce your heart rate, and limit the production of stress hormones.
Bring your collection home. Scrapbook the leaves or petals, or set the stones upon your bedside table. Let these items symbolize rest and regeneration, and turn to them when you need a moment after a long day. Let them serve as a reminder to consciously disconnect when you need to.
You can make this a weekly ritual for decompressing after dealing with triggering world affairs.
Nature Practices for Negativity Busting
Witches and nature go hand in hand. We may not all work with or in nature, but having a relationship to the elements—and the cosmos—is central for many practitioners. Filling your home with flowers, plants, herbs, and crystals can help you connect with nature in simple and meaningful ways. These practices can help you oust negativity from your daily life.
Materials
Peace lily
Sage
Essential oil (lavender or rosemary)
Holy basil/tulsi
Spending some time with nature, as we explore in Earthing: Mother Nature’s Mood Magic (shown here), is a wonderful way of relieving stress and connecting to the power of the world around you. It is affordable and easy, and it can help you grow your green thumb.
Try decorating your home in the following ways:
Buy a peace lily. Peace lilies are excellent additions to your home. They’re said to detox the air and symbolize love, harmony, and peace.
Grow sage in your home. Sage is a favorite herb among witches—not only is it used in smoke cleansing but it’s also known to promote wisdom and strength. It can be used to make tea and hair rinses, and to promote digestion. I recommend reading the Old Farmer’s Almanac for detailed instructions on how to grow it. (You can also find this information easily on the Internet.)
Start by planting sage seeds or using cuttings from a grown sage plant. This isn’t a quick process. Devote time and energy to cultivating such a magical and resilient plant; it can help you let the worries of the day fall away into nature’s generosity.
Wear or bathe in lavender or rosemary essential oil. If keeping plants in your home is a no-go, you can add nature to your space by infusing it in your everyday lifestyle. Lavender is associated with happiness and peace, while rosemary is used in cleansing and blessing. You can tap into these herbs’ powers by dabbing an essential oil on your wrists, dropping the oil into a bath, or adding a bit of oil to a spray bottle.
Keep holy basil in your home. Holy basil—also known as tulsi—is a plant originally from India that is used in Ayurvedic medicine. It’s an adaptogen, which is a natural compound that can help you conquer stress and remain positive in the face of chaos or crisis. Its long list of medicinal uses includes relieving the flu, asthma, upset stomach, and more. It’s said to provide a spiritual boost, attracting happy vibrations in any environment. You can find holy basil in tea form, which is both delicious and easy to brew.
Devote time and energy to cultivating a magical and resilient plant.
A Practice to Shield Yourself from External Negative Energies
Everywhere we go, we’re around all sorts of energies. Sometimes, they’re chaotic, frenetic, angry, intense, or sad, and they can seep into our personal space and poisonous. Whether we’re conscious of this or not, our minds naturally want to deflect that energy—which ends up depleting a lot of our own.
This practice will help you armor up—whether you’re dodging energy bullets in a crowded place or simply dealing with a friend in a nasty mood.
Materials
None
Stop somewhere you can plant your feet. Take a few deep breaths—in through your nose, out through your mouth—and then say aloud or silently think to yourself:
Whether you mean well or not, and whether you intend to or not, you cannot have my energy, light, or joy. I am protected.
Next, envision a shield of white, shimmering light surrounding your body. It should start small—at first just outlining your body. Depending on how you feel, you may want to expand it, making it wider so that it reaches as far as five feet around you. (This is especially helpful when in crowded areas like a busy bus station or shopping mall.)
As the shield surrounds you, imagine a small hole at the very bottom, right at your feet. Imagine any negative energy seeping out. You may envision this as gray or static. See it leaving, being replaced only by shimmering white light. Plug the hole and bask in this beautiful, protective energy, knowing that whatever comes your way will bounce right off you.
A Besom-Building Practice for Cleansing a Space of Negativity
To protect or rid a house of negativity, a sweeping-away with a besom—a common tool in Wicca, a branch of Paganism—can do the trick. Magical brooms, besoms are usually made from wood and natural bristles.
A besom allows its user to actively and physically sweep any negative energies out the door. A homemade one can help you feel even more connected to your intentions.
There are plenty of ways to make a besom—and many materials to make it with. (Sometimes the materials used correlate to the magic being performed.)
Materials
A sturdy staff (or handle) of oak, ash, or other local wood (about 3 to 4 feet [0.9 to 1.2 m] tall)
Several thin but strong branches, each about 1 foot (30 cm) long (mugwort or thyme are common, but any thin sticks will do)
1 or 2 dried lavender bundles (optional)
A strong cord or rope
Lay your sturdy staff on the ground. Carefully place your branches alongside it, up against the staff at one end. Add the dried lavender bundles alongside the branches, if you’re using them. (Lavender is commonly used to customize a besom, making it extra pretty and leaving a sweet lavender scent as you magically cleanse your space.)
Wrap the cord tightly around the branches and lavender to tie them to the staff. You may smoke-cleanse or simply meditate on the besom, connecting to it, and envisioning it clear and ready to use. You can use your broom to “shoo” away the negativity. This besom may not be strong enough to use for real cleaning (and it could damage your floor), but you can mime the act of sweeping. Be mindful as you perform your sweeping, and use it when you feel your home or a room needs to be cleared of negative energy.
A Serenity Ritual for Powerlessness
Growing up, my mother always said the serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Although neither of us is religious, it always comforted me, especially in times when I felt like life was spiraling out of control. In this ritual, I borrow from that prayer and adapt it to a magical practice.
Materials
A small item that represents you (e.g., a piece of jewelry or a photograph of yourself)
5 stones from outside or 5 crystals of your choice (smoky quartz works well for clarity of mind and cleansing); they should be cleansed with water or smoke
Sit at a clean, neat space—perhaps at your altar or at a desk near a window. Place the item that represents you in front of you. Focus on what is troubling you and causing you to lose a sense of control or balance. Focus on what you can change. Focus on what you cannot change.
Slowly, place each stone around the photograph or item. This act grounds you to the earth, reminding you that time will reveal all—whether in your favor or not. Say:
I am serene
in knowing what I can create,
what I cannot,
and where the shadow falls between.
Leave the stones out for as long as you need to, contemplating your serenity and the wisdom that comes with acceptance.
A Practice for Honoring Your Truth After Experiencing Gaslighting
Gaslighting is when someone—perhaps a spouse, a friend, your doctor, or your boss—makes you question your reality. It’s a form of manipulation that makes you doubt yourself. Many times, people don’t even realize they’ve been gaslighted, even though they may have a sense that an interaction was problematic and toxic.
If you’ve been gaslighted, it’s important that you do what you can to stay safe and find support. This practice can help you find comfort and honor your own voice in the aftermath. Many spells help us block energies, but magic can’t stop an asshole from being an asshole. So, this simple practice reroutes your focus back onto you, by letting you speak your truth.
Materials
A small doll or figure (you can even draw it) that will act as a listener
A self-care treat (such as taking a bath, doing a face mask, eating a cookie, or watching a film you love)
Simply talk to your listener. Tell it everything you experienced; tell it your truth. Say your truth loudly, and say every detail. Repeat ideas or sentences if you must. Pay special attention to anything you were made to doubt or question. Know that this figure is listening.
Once your listener has your truth, it’s self-care time. Treat yourself. Need some more ideas? Do something fun, wild, sexy. Dance in your underwear, blast music, eat cake, binge-watch a show, read a book of poetry, take a bubble bath.
A Morning Tarot Ritual to Make Your Commute More Productive
Do you ever feel claustrophobic or physically (or psychically) tired from squeezing into a tube or a bumpy bus every day? You’re not alone. This ritual can help you start your commute off right, and it can be modified for people who work from home, drive, bike, walk, or take any other mode of transportation.
Materials
Tarot deck
Corresponding guide to the cards (or the Internet)
If you’re walking, driving, or biking to work, do this before you leave. If you take public transportation, you can do it while commuting. And if you work from home, do it before kicking off your to-do list.
Shuffle and hold your tarot deck in one hand. Clear your mind, take a few deep breaths, and ask a question for the day. It might be, “How can I be my best self today?” or “How can I ensure confidence at work?” Pull a single card from the deck—one that calls out to you.
Tarot cards offer ideas and symbols to think about in context to your life. You can read your tarot deck’s guide to the cards or even check the Internet for interpretations. Gaze at the image on the card. Does it speak to you?
You might draw the Hanged Man, which indicates suspension or being caught in limbo but can also signify walking away. Or, you might pull the World—which could lead you to celebrate your queenliness after a work triumph—or the Two of Wands, which asks you to push for progress or planning.
During your commute, meditate on the card’s lesson and how it might affect your day or your future. Concentrating on an idea or lesson can ground you in your day and help you focus or manifest. Place your pulled card next to your workspace for the day as a gentle reminder.
A Gratitude Journaling Practice to Lighten a Bad Mood
My mother gave me a journal as a gift once. She said, “You can only use this for beautiful, light things—like your best memories and what you’re grateful for.” It caught me off-guard; we often journal through our pain and trauma but not the things that make our lives beautiful. In this practice, you’ll not only journal about what you’re grateful for, but you’ll also actively identify ways to reap more of the good stuff in your life.
Materials
A dedicated gratitude notebook
Something to write with
At the end of your day, open to a page in your notebook and draw a line down the center of it. On one side write, “I’m grateful for” and on the other write, “I manifest.”
In the “I’m grateful for” column, list three to five things that you are grateful for that day. It can range from “My barista was kind to me” to “My ability to pay for my medication” to “The weather.” Don’t worry if these are the same every day. That’s a good thing!
In the other column, write down ways that you could keep the gratitude—and what causes it—flowing. It could be that you manifest “A good work ethic” or “Kindness” or “An ability to appreciate what I have.”
By reminding yourself of these things daily, you’re able to create more of them in your day-to-day life. A big part of magic is believing that something already exists—even without candles, an incantation, or any other tools. In this case, the magic is in your written word.