CHAPTER 5

Breathe

“It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.” —DR. HANS SELYE

Stress is ubiquitous in our modern lives, and we do not value or prioritize the self-care and recovery needed to effectively manage our culture’s growing problem. Work and productivity are consistently valued more highly than recovery and vitality, as most of us are expected to work longer hours and with less time off than ever before. Do you frequently feel like you can barely handle the pressures of work and life? You are not alone—a 2014 American Psychological Association report found that 42 percent of Americans say that they are not doing enough to manage their stress levels. In the same report, the most commonly experienced symptoms related to stress were feeling irritable or angry, nervous or anxious, having a lack of interest or motivation, feeling fatigue, feeling overwhelmed, and being depressed. Even considering the sheer volume of people experiencing these symptoms, motivation to make changes is incredibly low, with most continuing on until they physically or mentally cannot cope any longer.

What are we doing to manage this stress? Unfortunately, many people turn to destructive habits like overeating or bingeing on unhealthy foods, skipping meals, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, watching TV, surfing the Internet, or playing video games. If you’ve ever fallen face-first into a pint of ice cream after experiencing an unexpectedly difficult life event, you understand how stress drives us to these poor lifestyle choices! While stress itself can have long-term negative health consequences, it appears that it also drives us to engage in unhealthy coping habits, compounding the problem.

Whether or not you are aware of the negative consequences of stress on your body, managing it is absolutely essential to improving your health, especially for those suffering from chronic illness. You may be unaware of the fact that underlying health conditions like autoimmune disease are a silent source of stress for your body, making it even more important that you learn to engage in healthy stress-management habits instead of falling into that pint of ice cream. In this chapter, you’ll learn about the stress response, common triggers, and how to better practice stress management in your own life.

WHAT IS STRESS?

While the word stress usually conjures up a negative response, it is simply a process that helps our bodies adapt to our environments. This can be beneficial, as experiencing and adapting to stress can cause us to become stronger and more able to confront the challenges in our lives. In addition, when we experience an emergency or other appropriately stressful situation, the body is able to rise to the occasion and perform at a higher level in order to avert danger and stay alive. This process developed to help us deal with occasional circumstances where we needed to have better than average ability to perform physically and mentally, such as evading a wild animal attack. In today’s world, bears and tigers are uncommon threats to our safety, but situations like a fight with your spouse, an unexpected tax payment, or a traffic ticket on the way to the grocery store can produce the same physiological response. Our bodies respond to stress with a similar cascade of hormones, regardless of the type or source, keeping us in a state of high alert and depleting our energy reserves.

Eustress and Distress

Stress can come in many different forms, from physical, emotional, psychological, or environmental sources, or a combination of these. In addition, stress can be perceived as positive, which is known as eustress, or negative, which is known as distress. Eustress is generally perceived to be within our coping abilities, shorter-term, having beneficial results like better energy or focus, and improving performance. Distress, on the other hand, is stress that is outside our abilities to cope. While it can be short- or long-term, distress is draining and depleting of our energy. In the long run, it contributes to disease and a decrease in performance. It is important to note that what one person may experience as eustress may be distress for another. For instance, moderate exercise feels beneficial to those who are generally healthy. To another person who has an autoimmune condition affecting energy and mobility, exercise can be a cause of distress. In the same vein, if a healthy person were to try to run a marathon without training, his body would be under distress. Whether a stressor has a positive or negative impact has to do with the way that we perceive the stress, as well as our physical ability to handle it.

Stages of the Stress Response

GENERAL ADAPTATION SYNDROME is a model that was originally postulated by stress researcher Dr. Hans Selye to describe the process by which stress affects the body. Once the body experiences a stressor, there is an initial reaction, followed by movement into further stages depending on the duration of stress, as well as the body’s ability to cope. One of the breakthrough facets of this model is that it has a way of showing that there is a limit on the body’s ability to handle stress. The three stages of the stress response are as follows:

ALARM STAGE —You have been exposed to a stressor and your body initially reacts to this exposure and activates the “fight-or-flight” response system. The hormones adrenaline and cortisol are released to produce the physical changes that help your body deal with the situation. Heart rate, respiration, and blood pressure increase, and more blood flows to the brain and muscles in order to prepare them for action. Natural anti-inflammatory compounds are released into your body, and your vision, sight, hearing, and awareness all sharpen. Your body is prepared to meet this threat!

RESISTANCE STAGE —You have overcome the stressor, and the threat is either gone or reduced. Your body enters a period of weakness as it uses its remaining energy to recover from the stress response and possible injury or activity. In this stage, your body is still on guard to fight continuing stressors, although without as much strength as it did in the initial reaction.

EXHAUSTION STAGE —You have been fighting stressors for a long period of time and now your body is unable to handle them. At this point, your body won’t be able to meet the challenge of any subsequent stressors.

As long as the stress responses you experience are confined to the alarm and resistance stages, your body is able to strengthen and adapt to its circumstances. For instance, starting a new light exercise program is a small stressor to the body. You are unlikely to get “fired up” in the alarm stage the same way as if you were running from a bear, but your body will increase adrenaline and cortisol to meet the demands of the increased movement. As long as you give yourself adequate time in the resistance stage to recover completely, the repeated exercise is likely to strengthen and have a positive impact on your body. In contrast, if you are in poor physical shape and you start an intense exercise program, your alarm stage is going to result in greater stress hormones being produced, as well as more damage and injury to your body. The next time you work out, you are unlikely to be out of the resistance stage, putting your body in the exhaustion stage—unable to handle further stressors, which then leads to additional negative health consequences. Many of us suffering from chronic illness have experienced this very example when starting an exercise routine, which is all the more reason for us to take it easy!

Hormones and Stress

The relationship between three organs in your body, the hypothalamus and pituitary in your brain, and the adrenal glands that sit on top of your kidneys, is called the HPA (HYPOTHALAMUS-PITUITARY-ADRENAL) AXIS . This complex system of feedback loops assesses the levels and needs of stress hormones in the body and sets off a chain reaction that ends in the production of these hormones (like cortisol and adrenaline). All it takes to set off this process is the mere thought of a stressor, like the presentation deadline at work or a call from your child’s school saying she is running a fever. Even if this threat is not physical, your body will continue making stress hormones until it perceives that there are enough to meet the threat and inhibits their production by a negative feedback loop. The hormonal response for different types of stress is the same; it’s all about how you perceive the threat!

Understanding the complex mechanics of the HPA axis is not as important as understanding how powerful our thoughts are at driving the response. Some people experience a large amount of physical stress, possibly from a strenuous job, taking care of children, and maintaining a household. Others have little physical stress but are under a lot of emotional stress caused both by the way that they perceive events and thoughts they have throughout their days.

How Does Chronic Stress Impact Health?

Anyone who has experienced a period of extreme chronic stress is familiar with the exceptionally negative toll it can take on the body. When we can’t recover effectively from the stress response, we break down and become even more intolerant to it. The heightened physical and mental capability that is produced during the alarm stage comes at a cost—when that cortisol and adrenaline hit the system, your body prioritizes the function of the brain and muscles over digestion, reproduction, and immunity. This can be very helpful when running from a bear, but if it continues to occur chronically, then you end up with imbalances that affect other systems of your body. Some of the researched health consequences of chronic stress are as follows:

Anxiety

Cognitive impairment

Depression

Digestive upset

Heart problems

Sleep problems

Weight fluctuations

With stress, we have to pay attention to the trickle before it becomes a flood. It starts with things like bills, overscheduling, and not enough time off, and, if left ignored, can result in seemingly unrelated chronic health issues. These consequences are familiar and serve to remind us that unmanaged stress is significant.

What Are Some Causes of Stress?

The causes of stress range from some obvious examples (like an unexpected life event, illness, or change in marital status) to those that are more subtle, like diet, chronic illness, lack of self-care, and fears. We’ve included a list below to help you pinpoint some of the causes of stress in your life, and help you recognize events that may be contributing to your overall stress burden without your even knowing it (such as having a child go off to college, embarking on a new diet, or remodeling your house).

UNEXPECTED MAJOR LIFE EVENT —This could be a death in the family, an accident, or an acute injury or illness that needs to be handled without warning.

DIET —There are many ways in which diet can be an underlying stressor for your body:

Excess sugar

Toxins

Caffeine

Alcohol

Food allergy/sensitivity

Nutrient deficiency

CHRONIC HEALTH PROBLEMS —those that are not easily resolved with medication or surgery and persist on an ongoing basis:

Chronic disease

Chronic infection

EXPOSURE TO ENVIRONMENTAL TOXINS —This can be from work, home, water contamination, or personal-care products.

EXERCISE —Both too much or too little exercise can be an underlying source of stress.

ALLERGIES —Environmental allergies chronically impact the immune system as well as interfere with daily life.

LACK OF STRESS MANAGEMENT —not having the means or prioritizing steps to manage stress:

Lack of sleep

Lack of time off

Lack of self-care

FAMILY STRESS —any type of stress related to your immediate and extended family and close friendships:

Marital or relational stress

Marriage or divorce

Addition to the family

Family changes

In-law troubles

FINANCIAL ISSUES —any type of stress related to your finances:

Debt

Defaulting on a loan or bankruptcy

Lack of resources

LEGAL PROBLEMS —anything from receiving a traffic ticket to being involved in a lawsuit to being incarcerated.

EMOTIONAL DIFFICULTIES —How you react to situations in your daily life can be an underlying cause of stress.

MAJOR HABIT CHANGES —any major changes to your habits, like quitting smoking or trying a new diet.

PRESCRIPTION OR OTC MEDICATIONS —Side effects can cause you significant stress.

EMPLOYMENT —changes to employment status:

New employment

Ending employment

Promotion or demotion

Boss/coworker troubles

Change in working hours

EDUCATION —changes to schooling or education you may be receiving:

Starting formal education

Ending formal education

Changing institutions

CHANGES IN LIVING SITUATION —changes to your housing or environment:

Moving

Remodeling

Lack of stable living situation

FEAR —Any apprehension or worry that interferes with daily life is a chronic stressor.

ATTITUDES AND BELIEFS —The way you view the world can be a source of stress for your body.

It is important to note again that it isn’t just the event or process that is stressful, but it is the way we react to it. While we are in control of some of these stressors (like the way we take care of ourselves, our attitudes and beliefs, or the diet we choose to eat), there are others that we have no control over. The point here is not to eliminate every stressor we have in our lives but to control your reaction to the stressors that you don’t have control over. Stress will always be a part of our everyday lives. We learn to live healthier and with more resilience by making adjustments where we can.

Warning Signs of Burnout and Excessive Stress

Your body has many ways of warning you that the level of stress it is under is not sustainable. Being under a constant barrage of stressful situations without allowing time for restoration and recovery makes it possible to reach a state of chronic burnout and further health disturbances. If you are experiencing any of the symptoms on this list on a regular basis, you should investigate whether your current stress-management routine is adequate for your needs, or if there are any stressors you could potentially eliminate from your life.

DIFFICULTY WAKING UP IN THE MORNING —Cortisol, that hormone secreted by the adrenal glands that is necessary for stimulating your energy levels in the morning, can be lacking due to excessive long-term stress and burnout.

FATIGUE DESPITE ADEQUATE SLEEP —When your need for rest and recovery is greater than what your body is getting, you end up feeling tired and unrefreshed.

SALTY FOOD CRAVINGS —Chronic stress can lead to electrolyte imbalances, which cause some people to crave salt.

DECREASED ABILITY TO HANDLE STRESSFUL SITUATIONS —If you have been experiencing prolonged stress, your tolerance for and resilience in subsequent stressful situations decrease considerably.

IRREGULAR MENSTRUAL CYCLES AND INCREASED PMS —Since the body prioritizes stress hormones over sex hormones (and often they are made from the same raw materials), chronic stress leads to imbalances in hormones that can result in irregular cycles, PMS, and even contribute to infertility.

FREQUENT COLDS AND FLUS WITH AN INCREASED RECOVERY TIME —Similar to hormonal balance, the body prioritizes stress hormones over immune function, making it extra hard to fight common colds and other illnesses.

LIGHT-HEADEDNESS WHEN STANDING UP —The electrolyte imbalances that are common with chronic stress often cause you to feel light-headed or dizzy when standing up suddenly.

BRAIN FOG —Excessive stress can cause you to feel like your thinking is consistently foggy and memory can falter.

RELIANCE ON CAFFEINE OR SUGAR TO GET THROUGH THE DAY —Caffeine and sugar both give you a boost when energy levels dip and not being able to go without them can be a sign that your natural energy reserves and resilience to handle stress are lacking.

BLOOD-SUGAR SWINGS —Chronic stress can wreak havoc on your blood-sugar balance, causing you to have energy highs and lows throughout the day.

Where Are You on the Stress-Management Spectrum?

This test will help you determine how high a priority stress management is to your healing journey. Give yourself one point for every item that applies to you on the list, and then total your score and see your results at the bottom.

__ I have been experiencing a period of long-term stress.

__ I regularly drive myself to exhaustion.

__ I do not prioritize rest and relaxation.

__ I am easily fatigued.

__ I have a hard time waking up in the morning.

__ I experience energy lows in the afternoon.

__ I tend to gain weight around my middle (hips and thighs).

__ I have one or more chronic illnesses or diseases.

__ I feel that my tolerance to stress is not what it used to be.

__ I suffer from brain fog.

__ My productivity has decreased.

__ I get light-headed when standing up suddenly.

__ I am tired even though I get an adequate amount of sleep.

__ I become light-headed, shaky, or get a headache if I go too long without eating.

__ I have fatigue that is relieved by eating.

__ I rely on caffeine and/or sweets to get through my day.

__ I have a diminished tolerance for people who irritate or bother me.

__ I suffer from intense fears or anxieties.

__ I have feelings of hopelessness.

__ I suffer from frequent colds or flus.

__ It takes me longer than my peers/family members to recover from a cold or flu.

__ I suffer from panic attacks or nervous breakdowns.

__ I have irregular periods and/or PMS.

__ I crave sweet and/or salty foods.

__ I have a job that causes me a lot of stress.

__ My job requires me to work long hours with little time off.

__ I often worry about work during nonwork hours.

__ I have trouble in my primary relationships.

__ I do not exercise regularly.

__ I don’t get enough sleep every night.

__ I don’t have any hobbies or activities that I do in my free time.

__ I don’t allow myself unstructured time.

__ I don’t have a strong social network.

__ I don’t practice stress-management or relaxation techniques on a regular basis.

__ I don’t have enough income to meet my needs.

1-10 LOW PRIORITY —Good job! It looks like you are already prioritizing your stress management and/or have made a point to remove unneeded stressors in your life.

11-19 MODERATE PRIORITY —Looks like this could use some work! Time to dig in and use the resources that follow in this chapter to start getting your stress under control before it gets worse.

20-35 HIGH PRIORITY —Uh-oh! It appears that your stress level is excessive. Learning how to effectively manage your stress is likely to have a profound impact on your healing journey.

What Can You Do to Manage Your Stress?

Now that you know all about what stress is and where you are right now in terms of coping with it, we need to start talking about what you can do to manage it. All that previous information won’t be useful if it doesn’t lead to action. The following list gives you specific ideas to manage stress effectively, with detailed tips and exercises (found on subsequent pages) to accompany some of the ideas.

IDENTIFY. Many of us simply go from 1 day to the next knowing we are stressed out, but not really ever taking time to specifically identify what the sources of stress are for us personally. You may have recognized some of your stressors in the examples listed in the preceding section What Are Some Causes of Stress? Take time to sit down and write the most complete list you can of everything that you perceive as stress in your life. Your list should include obvious things like a job loss and less clear things that are a source of strain, like that stack of paperwork on the kitchen table.

EXAMINE. Honestly examine your daily routine. Ask yourself if you are doing all you can in terms of lifestyle habits that greatly influence your stress load. Eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly have an enormous impact on your ability to cope with stress, and having exceptionally poor habits in any of these areas can be a stressor in itself. Be sure to check in with yourself to see if measures to improve these basic areas could make a difference.

ELIMINATE. Evaluate sources of stress that can simply be removed from your life. We are not able to control everything we may face, but there are some things that are within our control. Where it is possible for you, eliminate sources of stress without guilt or shame. This might mean, for instance, saying no to interactions with “energy robbers.” “Energy robbers” is the name coined by James L. Wilson, ND, DC, PhD, author of Adrenal Fatigue , to describe people, conditions, and even foods that drain us. Another example might be that you stop connecting on a particular social media platform. An honest look at what can be completely taken off your plate is a huge stride forward in managing your stress. ( See the Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship with Technology section).

PRIORITIZE. An immense stressor for many of us is being overwhelmed. With so many items on the daily to-do list, it is inevitable that we find ourselves paralyzed on where to direct our attention. It can be helpful to assess where these items fall in terms of importance and proactively prioritize in order to accomplish them. The mantra here is, “Manage your to-do list, don’t let it manage you.”

PRACTICE. It is great to find ways of eliminating stress, but we must also add healthy stress-reducing activities into our lives. Carving out time to pursue fun and relaxing activities that help counterbalance the stress that cannot be eliminated is vital. On the following page is a list of possible habits for you to practice using on a daily, weekly/monthly, or seasonally/yearly basis. You will find that some of them are easy and straightforward, while others will take conscious effort on your part to schedule or develop, for instance practicing mindfulness. (See “Habits to Cultivate ” and the Mindfulness Tips section.)

REFRAME. Some stressors, despite how large they may be, can be greatly diminished when we reframe our internal thoughts around them. Analyzing how we think, feel, and talk to ourselves about a source of stress can be a powerful tool, especially if we take it a step further and challenge those thoughts with a new dialogue. For example, the author Malcolm Gladwell, in his book David and Goliath, encourages readers to recognize some obstacles in life as “desirable difficulties,” a term used to describe unfavorable situations that result in advantages for the person facing them. Learning to see things in a different light can be a profound stress-management tool. See resilienceacademy.com for practical guidance on how to reframe.

ACCEPT. There are occasions when the most positive step you can take in addressing a source of stress is learning to accept it. This can be a very uncomfortable process, but sometimes plainly acknowledging the reality of a stressor that you cannot change, like a troublesome family situation or illness, and letting go is the only way forward. In these cases, it can be meaningful to regularly check in with yourself about what valuable lessons you may be gaining by learning to live with the stressor.

ALTER. The most radical idea is saved for last. You may find that some stress cannot be managed with any of the other ideas presented here and that continuing to tolerate it is also not an option. If that is the case, it is time to alter your situation, even if the change itself will present stress. Perhaps your job has become absolutely unbearable or you are very unhappy where you live. Maybe a relationship has grown toxic. With these kinds of stressors, considering a major lifestyle change is in order. Start to carefully plan how to make necessary adjustments in the least-disruptive and most timely way possible, while leaning on your support network through the change.

Actively managing my stress is an ongoing process for me. Just when I think I have it all mastered, something new comes up, and finding the best way to tackle it so that stress doesn’t derail my health becomes my priority once again. Of all the ideas on how to manage stress, how to “reframe” was the breakthrough for me. Analyzing how I thought, felt, and spoke to myself about certain sources of stress was huge in reducing my reactions. When I took it further and began using new words to describe challenges in my life, it transformed me. Realizing I had the power to structure my thought processes for increased positivity was amazing!

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CARE

Self-care is the choice to prioritize activities that are essential to protecting your wellbeing. While we would all agree that self-preservation is a natural and appropriate instinct, the truth is that the more proactive version of preservation, self-care, is kind of a sensitive topic, especially in the United States. We tend to have a nearly overpowering work ethic, at the expense of equal time given to caring for ourselves. Even though there are a great many resources and much talk about how important it is to practice good self-care, the underlying message in our society is often “self-care is selfish.”

The truth is best stated by author and educator Parker J. Palmer, PhD, “Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on Earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” We sometimes describe this topic as the “plane crash scenario.” If your plane is going down and oxygen masks are required, you must first put on your own mask before you can help the person sitting next to you. Some people might say, “But what if that person sitting next to me is my partner or child?” It doesn’t matter how much more important the person next to you seems to be, without your own oxygen flowing, you will quickly lose consciousness and be completely unable to help yourself or anyone else. It may be the case in life that the “person sitting next to you” is someone totally dependent on you, like a child or elderly parent, which makes “putting on your oxygen” even more crucial. You will not be able to uphold your responsibility to care for anyone else if you have not first upheld your responsibility to care for yourself.

Don’t undervalue self-care or allow guilt to creep in when you prioritize it. Eating well, sleeping deeply, managing stress, and other practices that provide a well-rounded holistic self-care routine are smart investments in not only you but all those who depend on you. This is especially true if you have an autoimmune disease, since anything you can do to support good health minimizes the impact of the chronic nature of your illness. It’s just plain smart to dedicate time and resources to the “maintenance” of you!

HABITS TO CULTIVATE

Daily Habits

Mindfulness or spiritual practice

Prayer

Breathwork

Meditation

Creative activities

Art

Playing music

Creative writing

Light exercise

Walking

Yoga

Unstructured time

Self-care

Bathing

Diffusing essential oils

Reading

Listening to music

Playing a game

Delegating tasks

Journaling

Weekly/Monthly habits

Two work-free days a week

Acupuncture

Massage

Talk therapy

Gathering with your community

Caretaking

Seasonally/yearly or as needed

Vacation

Time off from work

Sabbatical

Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship with Technology

The modern technology that we have access to is nothing short of revolutionary, and can be both an incredible tool as well as a chronic stressor for our bodies. It isn’t the particular technology itself that is “good” or “bad,” but the habits that we develop around how we use it. If you are someone who sleeps with your phone interrupting you with a series of notifications throughout the night, checks email first thing when you wake up or before bed, and cannot go to a social event without pulling out your phone every 5 minutes, you may have some work to do in cultivating a healthier relationship with technology.

As we described in Chapter 4 , screens found on televisions, computers, and devices such as tablets and smartphones all emit blue-spectrum light that is disruptive to your circadian rhythm. Exposure to this spectrum of light after dark can be a stressor for your body, as it disrupts your natural hormonal balance and interferes with sleep. This isn’t the only way technology is a stressor—being connected to your work and social life 24 /7 can be incredibly depleting. Our brains need time off from the constant barrage of to-do lists, emails, messages, updates, and notifications.

Sometimes, it feels like drinking from a fire hose! If you are looking for some tips to help cultivate a more useful and less stressful relationship with technology, follow these guidelines.

Limit your social media use to communicating and sharing; don’t use it as a “time-filler” or as a replacement for activity when bored.

Avoid screens an hour or two before bed.

Charge your devices outside your bedroom.

Minimize the use of notifications on device applications (email, social media, etc.).

Check emails only a few times a day and don’t leave email applications open while working.

Avoid checking email right before bed or right upon waking.

Avoid replacing one-on-one time or phone calls with social media contact.

Avoid watching TV or using a device while eating meals or having a conversation.

Take a “technology detox” or a “social media vacation” periodically.

Avoid spending so much time with technology that you don’t have any time for real-life activity.

Leave your devices at home or turned off in your pocket to have a richer, more mindful experience without the distraction.

Mindfulness Tips

Mindfulness is all about recognizing the little things, something that is all too often absent from our busy, overscheduled modern lives. It is important to find ways to actively check in with yourself and ask questions about the moment you are experiencing. This can help you connect more often and more deeply to your life, as well as help you shape and direct your thoughts, rather than allow them to overwhelm you and contribute to stress. Use the list of questions below to help you brainstorm some ways in which you can practice greater awareness of your present experience.

While I’m washing dishes, what does the temperature of the water feel like?

While I’m talking with a loved one, am I noticing the special qualities of his/her voice?

While I’m out for a daily walk, what small details of the scenery have changed today?

While I’m eating my meal, what textures and aromas do I find satisfying?

While I’m sitting down at my desk, what is energizing me about the work ahead?

While I’m driving, what am I noticing about the road conditions?

While I’m lying down for the night, how does my body feel?

While I’m playing with my child, am I noticing the special aspects of his/her face?

While I’m listening to music, am I noticing a certain instrument or voice?

While I’m cooking dinner, what can I imagine about the farmers who grew my food?

Of all of the areas of stress management, cultivating a healthy relationship with technology is one that I continue to struggle with, even today. I am constantly feeling the need to check email, Facebook, and other notifications, waiting for tasks to “drip” in, and cluttering my brain up with future to-dos. When I am not managing well in this area, I find myself feeling frazzled, stressed, not sleeping well, and more likely to make poor lifestyle or dietary choices. Little habits like only checking email twice a day during work hours, only checking social media once a day at predetermined times, and never checking email or social media first thing in the morning or before bed go a long way at helping me stay balanced. I also find that my connections with my spouse and family are much more meaningful when I am not distracted by this technology. It is a continual struggle, but I find when I give attention to these practices, my health flourishes.

Don’t Let Stress Management Stress You Out!

It seems like a lot, right? Managing your stress is a big job, it’s true. It takes vigilance and commitment and time. Certain techniques for managing stress might not feel like good matches for you. Do you find yourself dreading your date with that next guided meditation module you’ve been working on? It shouldn’t be that way!

Try your best to take things a step at a time, slowly changing your mind-set around stress management and then putting new tools into use. Consider planning “taste tests,” where you choose two or three different techniques and then try them short-term (no pressure to commit!) just to see if they feel comfortable and enjoyable to you. Just because half the world is going nuts for yoga doesn’t mean that it has to work for you, too. Maybe a few hours a week in a workshop building model airplanes is more your style. Chapter 9 offers ideas for how to incorporate stress management slowly, making the habit of using these techniques more manageable. Bottom line here—don’t let stress management stress you out! That’s totally not the zen thing to do!

CALL TO ACTION

The purpose of this chapter is to show you that, after nourishment and rest, learning to breathe is crucially important to a life.

Perfecting your approach to stress reduction is no small task. It’s also not a task we ever finish. Managing your stress is like doing the laundry or taking out the trash: It must be repeated regularly or it will pile up and have negative consequences on you and your health. Mountains of laundry are unsightly and mounds of trash are smelly! Unmanaged stress leaves people and their bodies in a very similar disarray.