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On some days, the act of sitting down in front of a project can be just what you need to keep going. You can say this to yourself: “I’m just going to sit. That’s the first step. I don’t have to do anything more. Then I will move my hands and type or make a sales call.”
When you’re depressed, you can feel like a hand is physically holding you back from sitting down and starting something. It can feel like you’re fighting with an unseen force. “It’s just sitting,” you might say to yourself, but sitting down is a big accomplishment when your brain is misfiring, you’re having trouble making decisions, feel uncomfortable, and want to cry.
What’s the big deal about sitting down to get something done? Sitting is easy, right? But it’s often more than just sitting. Sitting down in front of a project—whether it be artistic, sales oriented, or working with a child’s homework—can be daunting. It’s often much easier to put off projects until they are so backed up they never get done. But no more! From now on, tell yourself you will commit to sitting and going from there. Sitting down when you need to often triggers a work response that helps you get things done.
Are any of these signs you need to sit down familiar to you?
Michael’s Story
I have actually walked around my office for hours without sitting down for an extended period of time. There is my office chair; I can see it looming at me. In fact, my whole office is a scary space. I tell myself, “Just sit down and get started,” and yet I still keep walking around, getting coffee, talking with colleagues, and copying stuff I don’t need.
But now I have a rule. When I get to work, the first thing I do is go into my office and sit in my chair for three hours. I have my coffee with me, and I tell people I can chat when my time is up. Once I’ve sat down, the work goes easier and I find it a lot easier to stay seated throughout the day.
My Story
I lost years of work because I couldn’t do something as simple as sitting down in a chair in front of a project. I could sit in chairs in restaurants and on airplanes—chairs that had nothing to do with work—but chairs that represented work were another story.
After I thought about it, I realized that sitting down in a chair isn’t the real problem. The problem must be what the chair represents. I learned that I see sitting as the first step in a project that my brain has told me I can’t do. That’s why sitting down is so hard.
What I do now:
Social Media and Technology
The following might sound like a mixed message, but that is the nature of managing depression. Sometimes, what works in one area will not work elsewhere. Regarding social technology use, just sitting down is not the message. Instead, you will have to decide when to STAND UP and not spend another day sitting with a screen. Then, you can sit down in front of a work project with purpose.
If you need to work using a computer, but sitting in front of a computer means getting distracted, resort to the old-fashioned way of working. Write the work down first. Then, when you get to the computer, the idea is simply to transcribe what you have worked out on paper. The world has moved to screens, but that doesn’t mean sitting in front of one is the most effective way to work. If you’re in an office setting, please know you are not the only person struggling with this. Is there a room you can use that is technology free? Being a Luddite isn’t a bad thing when the depression is raging.
Script
There will probably be many times that you want to tell me to just sit down. You might think, “Why on earth doesn’t he just sit down and do the project. Or, “All the running around she’s doing is a lot harder than just sitting!” Or you might ask yourself, “What the heck is wrong with him? He’s talking more about not doing things than actually sitting down and taking the time to do them!” Please know that my brain is scattered when I’m depressed. Sitting down in front of something can actually be very scary for me. It can bring up a lot of anxiety. I don’t understand why depression does this! It’s dumb and I hate it! I will do 50 things that have no meaning instead of just sitting down and doing the one thing I need to do. I hope you can understand that this is part of depression. I give you permission to come over to me and simply say, “I can see the depression is raging. You wanted me to remind you that sitting down and feeling the pain while working is a lot better than spending hours and hours avoiding sitting down. Remember, working will not feel good when you sit down, but you will have a better outcome than if you continue to move around aimlessly. You wanted me to remind you of this!” I will listen.
Exercise
What projects do you do that require you to sit down and focus? These can include art, as well as work or school projects:
| Studying for a test | Writing an article |
| Practicing the piano | Reading to a child |
| Working on the computer | Finishing an art project |
Write your own here:
The next time you’re faced with the project, remind yourself that you only have to do the first step—you have to sit. Sitting down is often enough to get you started.
ASK DR. PRESTON
Question
Why does taking the very small step of sitting down to work on a project help get things done?
Answer
A depressed person can waste so much time just thinking about having to do something that the time passes and nothing is accomplished. This is where people often get bogged down the most.
Depressed people often have an image of what they need to do, and when they take stock of their currently available energy and motivation, too often, the conclusion is to not even try. However, sitting down to start a project, a person makes the decision to work one step at a time. This is especially true when people break down a big task, such as a messy house, into smaller chunks, such as cleaning off the coffee table.
Much of this has to do with what psychologist Albert Banbura called “one’s appraisal of self-efficacy.” A person asks: “In my mind, in this moment, how much confidence do I have in being able to cope with the task (or the stressors) currently facing me?” When the conclusion is positive (“I can do this … it isn’t unmanageable”), it often ignites some internal energy and enthusiasm that’s then used to initiate action: sitting down and getting started. And with ongoing task completion, the depressed person receives ongoing feedback (“Yes … I am making headway”), which helps sustain activity.
If you have work that requires sitting, you must take the first step and sit. That might mean sitting at a desk in your house or an office, going to a meeting, or getting in a car. However, the more you get used to sitting as a first step, the more you can use this small movement to help you get on with your task.
Sitting represents:
Remember: Sit. Sit. Sit. That’s all you have to do to get started.