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Break Projects into Steps

One of the most common symptoms of depression is feeling overwhelmed when you’re faced with large projects. It’s as though you lose the ability to think, “Ah. A big project. What is my first step?” Instead, you think, “There’s no way I can get all of this done!” When you combine this with the weariness and self-incrimination that often come with depression, the big stuff can be impossible because you might never even get started.

Think in Steps

When you get ready for bed at night, you perform certain steps. You brush your teeth after dinner. You may have a book near your bed or music you listen to. You turn off the light after you get into bed. You rarely do these out of order, and the steps make the night ritual a lot easier. You could say you have a recipe with specific steps for how to get into bed and to sleep with ease.

On the days when your work feels like a mountain you have to climb, you have to recognize that depression is making you feel this way, and you can get past it. You can say to yourself, “I only have to do the steps in order and in a timely manner.” This will get you started.

There are many reasons why you might be overwhelmed by a project, including the following:

When you break a project into steps, you at least know what to do first!

Rebecca’s Story

I love to sew; it’s something I’ve always enjoyed. On my good days, I just sew, and it’s no big deal. But for some reason, when I’m depressed, just getting out my machine is too much for me. I look at the pattern, and it looks like an indecipherable plan. All I see are lines and geometric shapes. Then I think, “Making this skirt is so much work!” When I think of sewing as one big blob of work, I get overwhelmed and don’t even get my machine out. Depression wins again!

When I started to deal with my depression in a different way, I simply said “no” to the overwhelmed feeling and reminded myself that I wanted to sew. I just had to take the time to rationally think of the steps involved. This isn’t easy when I’m depressed, but I know that sewing makes me feel better. I tell myself, “One step at a time and then you go to the next one.” It sounds so simple, but doing this when I’m depressed really helps.

My Story

If I’d sat down and thought of this book as one big project, there’s no way I would have finished. You’re holding this book because I broke every single step into numbers and did them as separate projects:

  1. This book required 222 manuscript pages with 1-inch margins, single-spaced, so I had to plan out how much room I had to write before I started the project.
  2. I had to use a special font and required symbols to indicate where there were bullets and numbered lists.
  3. I created an outline that needed to be used in each chapter.
  4. I wrote out a detailed table of contents before I was even sure of what I wanted to say in detail.
  5. I created 50 strategies for getting things done, and each one had to be three to five manuscript pages.
  6. I carefully thought of how much space I would have left for the introduction.
  7. I constantly reminded myself to be as creative as possible, so you, the reader, wouldn’t be bored while reading.
  8. I made sure my ideas were clear and that I included a helpful exercise in each strategy.
  9. I kept my writing at a very high standard, as my publisher is a big publishing company.
  10. I sent my work to my friends and family for editing and then edited the chapters myself.
  11. I organized a photo shoot with Dr. Preston. (The picture is on the back is from the first edition of this book!)
  12. I delivered all of this on a very specific date, even though I was often depressed.
  13. And finally, I did a final edit based on the suggestions of my editors.

What I do now:

Social Media and Technology

Removing yourself from social media or all-night gaming, just to name two distractions, is a process. First, no one is saying you have to stop everything. The goal is to find balance. This is done in steps. Stopping everything usually leads to a binge. Stopping slowly and testing what works and what doesn’t is a more stable path.

Think of the steps it takes to make any change. First, what is the goal? Let’s say it is to use the internet and screens wisely. Maybe the first step is limiting screen time at night. What can you do instead? Radio, music, a book, or meditation? If reading this really makes you angry, as though you are being punished for something, that is also part of change. Dealing with the emotions of getting back into the real world of people when you’re depressed can bring up a lot of fear that then manifests as anger. Feel it all! Then go back to small steps. Once you have decided how much screen time you want in your life, create another step. Try not having a big screen in the bedroom or no screens at the dinner table. What about not getting out your phone when you’re with a friend? Change is possible when you take it slowly.

Script

Projects feel gargantuan when I’m depressed. One basket of clothes feels like 50 baskets that I have to wash by hand! If you can remind me that doing one thing to completion is what works on the tough days, this will be very helpful. I might be running around dabbling at everything and getting nothing done. Sit me down and say, “Okay, what do you absolutely have to do right now? Clean up the house? Well, that is too big of a task. We will do the laundry from start to finish. If that’s all we do today, it’s still a huge accomplishment. We can do this together. Laundry only. Then, we will do the next step of cleaning a house. We will tackle that next step until it is done. Eventually, the house will get cleaned.” This reminds me that nothing is a big blob. Everything has specific steps that I can do. By reminding me of this and not teasing me for my ridiculously distorted thinking, it helps me get moving. This is frustrating for me and everyone around me. My brain is not my friend when it comes to starting and finishing something. I need to remember that everything has a step and maybe I will only do step one, but it’s infinitely better than doing nothing.

Exercise

No one, especially a beginning cook, would ever sit down and decide to bake a chocolate cake from scratch without a recipe that clearly showed the steps of the project. To get things done, just like that beginning cook, you need a recipe for all your complicated projects. Let’s look at an example:

The “Applying for Graduate School” Recipe:

  1. Research and decide which schools look best to you.
  2. Look over the requirements for sending your application and highlight them in the catalog:

GRE or other test

Personal essay

Letters of recommendation

Transcripts

Application fee

  1. Pressing send or mailing in documents.

Now it’s your turn. Pick a project that’s really difficult when you’re depressed, such as cleaning your desk at work, washing your car and then changing the oil, doing your bills, and so on. Write your recipe steps here.

It really makes a difference if you simply do one step at a time.

ASK DR. PRESTON

Question

Why do depressed people see a task as overwhelming instead of seeing the smaller, more manageable steps?

Answer

During depression, the mind starts to develop tunnel vision to mostly negative things. Some depressed people can also become very rigid in their thinking. They have trouble exploring creative alternatives to getting things done and instead listen to the voice that says there’s only one way to do things. Finally, pessimism and a loss of self-confidence lead to predictions that will fail the things the decide to do. To combat this, focus on small, simplistic, or concrete steps you can do fairly quickly. Your success will keep you moving.

Steps Work!

If you tried to do your task all at once, whether it was learning an acting role in one sitting or trying to speak a language before you’ve studied the grammar, there’s a very good chance you’d get anxious, overwhelmed, and more depressed. You don’t want that. You want to get things done, step by step. You can train yourself to look at every project like a recipe and know that you have many steps to go through before you get a beautiful and delicious cake—or landing an acting role or a learning second language.

Here are some other thoughts to consider:

Remember: Everything feels impossible if you look at it as a whole instead of as a process with individual steps. In reality, the steps are all that matter, especially when you’re depressed.