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Focus, Focus, Focus
When you’re faced with a cloudy, depressed mind, you can drive around in circles, change your work location from one place to the next, forget where your kids are, miss work deadlines, and have trouble deciding what order to do things in. The projects you’re supposed to do whirl around in your head like a swarm of bees, and somehow, you’re supposed to pluck one of them out of the swarm and get it done. This can feel pretty impossible if the tasks are so jumbled together, you can’t even think of all you have to do, much less what has to be done first.
Make Yourself Focus
This focus issue can seem so impossible to deal with, especially when you’re late for a presentation, have to study for a test, or need to prepare an event. You can run around like a chicken for quite a long time without getting anything started. This happens because you lack focus. The good news is that you can make yourself focus when your brain can’t.
Focus is a skill you can learn. It’s a forceful way you can take over a situation when your thoughts are very unclear. It may be that your depression is mild on the days you can’t focus. On these days, it’s not that you lack desire for action. In fact, you do have the energy to get things done; you just don’t have the precision it takes to really use your abilities. This is where forced focus can really help. When your depression is more serious, you have to work on focusing minute by minute. But it can be done.
Do you experience any of these signs of trouble focusing?
- Your head feels like a piece of cotton.
- You can’t multitask.
- You float through the day.
- Your driving is very scattered and possibly dangerous.
- People have to talk to you a few times to get your attention.
- You have things to do, but you can’t put them in order, so nothing gets done!
Focusing is hard enough when you’re well. It takes practice to focus when you’re depressed, but it’s definitely possible.
Peter’s Story
I run marathons. The running really, really helps my mood, but I’ve found that the athletic mentality I need is often lost when my mood is low. Honestly, I have un in circles a few times because I forget which way to go. Instead of focusing on my stride and how much water I need, my mind goes off on a tangent, and I just run aimlessly.
This is different from getting into the zone. In fact, the zone is very, very focused. I can see everything clearly, hear my breath, remember my running form, and run with ease when I’m in the zone. It’s harder to get into the zone when I’m depressed. I get around this by snapping myself back into my running by saying, “Run the right way, Peter! Get in stride. Focus on your feet and your form. What are your arms doing? Where are you going? What mile are you on? Where is your focus?” Not focusing when you run is dangerous; that’s when injuries happen. When I run, I make sure I pull myself back into reality.
My Story
I woke up mildly depressed the other day. I felt a little relief from the more serious depression of the day before and decided I had a lot of things to get done. I got in my car and started driving. I then realized I had no idea where I was going. Should I go see my friend to pick up the clothes she got for me at a garage sale? Should I do the right thing and work on this book at the library? Should I go see my nephew, talk with my mother in her garden, or call to schedule a trip I’m taking in a few weeks? Call my physical therapist? My goodness! It was like being in a dryer full of clothes. The options just went around and around.
What I do now:
- When I’m driving aimlessly with brain fog, I yell at myself. “Julie! Listen to me! Focus! Pull over and focus!” (I talk to myself out loud a lot. It helps.) So, I pull my car over and figure out what to do. I do have to stop my car because driving is too distracting.
- I’ve found that making a decision on these days is not necessarily difficult. The problem is that I can’t even focus on what needs to be done to make a decision. When I focus, the decision is a lot easier.
- When I’m working on a book, I find myself thinking about coffee or lunch, looking out the window, listening to the people around me, and basically letting my mind go on a mini vacation. But that doesn’t get books written. I snap my head back to my computer and focus!
- I have to get things done in order to move forward with my career. If I sit down to do it, I might as well focus and do it right. Otherwise, it’ll take double the time.
Social Media and Technology
The brain might seem capable of multitasking, but in reality, it’s not built to do too many things at once, least of all to do them well. It you have trouble focusing when you are depressed, turning off alluring screens is essential. Just because something is a habit, such as checking your favorite app every hour, it doesn’t mean it’s a good habit. Focus is cultivated. You have to work at it.
Everything you do that pulls your focus in another direction when you’re depressed increases the likelihood you will not get something done in a realistic timeframe. Focus creates results. Think about reading this book. What if you also tried to cook a meal, talk with a friend, and watch TV at the same time you read this paragraph? It would be a chaotic mess. When we go to a movie theater, we focus on the movie. When watching a sporting event, we have to keep our eye on the play or we will miss something. Accomplishing the essential projects of life, such as household chores or working for a paycheck, demands your focus and this often means turning off extraneous screens.
Script
Depression takes away my ability to focus on what matters. I can obsess for hours about a mean comment online or my own unhappiness, but that is more like self-absorption than actual focus! This is also called “perseveration,” and it means I’m obsessively thinking about something that is usually meaningless. I want to break the hold this kind of obsessive thinking has on me so that I can actually focus on the real needs of my life. You can help me by reminding me that there is a difference between obsessing over something pointless versus focusing on a specific task in order to get it done. It might help to know that I’m not doing this on purpose. It’s not my goal in life to obsess about stupid things. I want to be living my life, not obsessing. I want to focus on behaviors that will enhance my life. You can remind me of this by saying, “I can see that the obsessing and overthinking is taking over your brain today. You asked that I help you focus on one specific task instead of these thoughts. Let’s pick a task, do it together, and ignore whatever thinking is going on. This will help stop the perseveration. It will break the loop. Think of it as getting off the obsession train. We can do this together.”
Exercise
You can teach yourself to focus. Imagine that your brain is a train on a track. When it gets off the track and starts to fall into a river, just focus and get it back on track! Look over the following situations and check the ideas that will work for you.
You have a lot of reading to do for a class and can’t seem to concentrate. What do you do?
- Go somewhere quiet.
- Take a fast walk and then study.
- Study with a friend.
- Snap your mind back to your reading when it wanders by saying “Focus!”
- Time what you do in small parts and focus on that small part only.
You’re in a meeting, and all you can think about is how miserable you are. What do you do?
- Look around you. Breathe and tell yourself, “I’m committed to listening to this meeting.”
- Take notes on everything that’s being said so that your mind is occupied.
- Sit up straight. Tighten all your muscles. Feel yourself sitting in the chair. Widen your eyes as much as you can, and let your body focus your mind.
Think of a time or task when you always have trouble focusing, such as following a map, reading meeting notes, answering e-mails, or cooking dinner. What can you do to focus when this happens again? Make a list you can use when your brain just won’t cooperate with your need to get things done:
ASK DR. PRESTON
Question
Why does it help to yell “Focus!” out loud to yourself when you have a day where you can’t focus? Does the brain hear it differently when you yell out loud?
Answer
There’s something about speaking out loud that helps you focus on the moment. Inner thoughts are likely to ramble and move in a negative direction. It’s harder to think realistically under these conditions. Speaking out loud actually helps you do a better job of critical thinking so you can more easily spot distortions. Saying “Focus!” when you’re in the middle of a hazy situation snaps you back into reality so you can do what needs to get done.
Similar help is found when you write down your thoughts. It elevates you into more conscious awareness and helps you view and carefully examine the situation to see if your conclusions or predictions are realistic and accurate.
Take Charge of Your Brain
Focus is possible when you’re depressed. When you force yourself to focus, it’s like giving your brain a wake-up call to get it back in line. Picture your mind as a camera lens. When the image is blurry, you can turn the lens until things become clear and easy to see. Use whatever image works for you, and force yourself to focus! You will always feel better when you do.
Here are some other thoughts on how to encourage focusing:
- Get comfortable talking to yourself out loud and forcefully.
- Know that you may have to say “Focus!” a lot when you’re on a specific project.
- Keep your eye on the prize. Keeping the end result in mind helps you get things done!
- If distractions are the problem, remove yourself briefly, make a decision, and then get your mind back on track so you can successfully work despite the distractions.
Remember: Depression takes away your ability to focus. You have to take it back.