Everyone wants to know ‘what’ you’re having. Is it a girl or a boy? If you don’t know what you’re having, complete strangers will gladly guess for you.
Carrying high? It’s a girl.
Wide bum? It’s a boy!
Look like a haggard drug addict with acne and bags under your eyes? Definitely a girl.
The odds are really good for them, too. It’s a fifty-fifty chance they’ll get it right.
They’ll want to know if you have a preference: ‘What are you hoping for, love?’
‘Oh, you know, just hoping it doesn’t have a tail.’
If you do know what you’re having, you’re also going to cop some opinions. These opinions will often come from people who have no role in your life whatsoever. June at the supermarket check-out. Mark the pharmacist. The balding lady who sits at the bus stop all day. These are the people who will share their disappointment that you’re not having the little girl they really wanted you to have, or will offer their condolences to your husband who must be devastated he’s not getting ‘his heir’.
These opinions become even more voracious for your second child. If you produce anything other than a pigeon pair—one for mum and one for dad—people will struggle to keep their disappointment to themselves. Because the balding lady at the bus stop had her heart set on you getting a little girl and you went and fell pregnant with another boy! The shame of it.
If you dare produce a third child of the same gender, people will straight-up weep for you. Having a beautiful baby just isn’t enough for some people.