If you have spent a lot of time reading parenting blogs, you might think the most common phrases to come out of a parent’s mouth are things like:
• ‘I love you to the moon and back.’
• ‘You are my world.’
• ‘I am so blessed.’
• ‘Let’s make dolls’ dresses together out of this botanically hand-dyed linen I made.’
No. Mothers of toddlers aren’t saying these things in real life. Mothers of toddlers would love to say these things but mothers of toddlers are far too busy repeating the same things over and over and over and over again, like:
• ‘I said NO.’
• ‘Get down from there.’
• ‘SIT. Bottom on the seat, thank you.’
• ‘Why is this wet? What is this?’
• ‘PLEASE don’t tip it all out on the floor. PLEEEEASE.’
• ‘What’s in your mouth? Open your mouth.’
• ‘Where did you get that?’
• ‘Why are you naked?’
• ‘Why are you licking that?’
• ‘You love pasta. Please eat it.’
• ‘Where are you?’
• ‘I’m just doing a poo, okay?’
• ‘Can you please wait one minute?’
• ‘Half a minute?’
• ‘I’m doing it RIGHT NOW. Can you not see me doing it, right in front of you? Please stop asking me to do it.’
• ‘Can you please get your penis out of that?’
• ‘We don’t stick pencils in cats’ bottoms.’