Pressing our buttons. It’s their special skill.
They know exactly what’s going to send you right over the edge and they’ll do it repeatedly until you, a fully grown adult, dissolve into rage. Against a toddler. Who even are you now?
We should be able to rise above it. This is our child. This is the baby we cradled at night, whispering lullabies and promising we’d never stop loving them. This is the child we looked at and thought, ‘How could I ever be mad at you?’
But now you have moments where you look at your child and mutter, ‘No, really, what the hell is wrong with you?’
Having the patience to deal with a toddler day in and day out is not a skill any humans possess, so don’t feel guilty if you lose your biscuits occasionally. It happens to the best of us: that uncontrollable, irrational rage that explodes from nowhere. You’ll feel guilty immediately because it really didn’t warrant that sort of response, but they just PRESSED. YOUR. BUTTONS.
And it could be for a reason that is so tiny, so silly, so benign that you’re almost embarrassed to admit it.
It’s okay—you’re not alone. We’ve all got our ‘thing’.
I asked some real mums to tell me their trigger points and this is what they said:
• when he touches me around the neck area
• when she breathes on my neck
• when they can see I’m on the phone but start demanding all the things
• when he dawdles—like practically moves in slow motion—and nothing I say has any effect
• when they touch me with their toenails
• when he asks me a question but doesn’t listen to the answer
• when they ask me repeatedly to do something when I’ve asked them to wait. I’ve heard you, I’ll do it, just wait!
• when she stands right in front of the door as I’m trying to open it
• when he starts a sentence with, ‘Mum, can I tell you something?’ JUST TELL ME!
• when she drinks the bathwater after I’ve said for the fiftieth time not to drink the bathwater
• when she sits on the toilet and hugs the whole goddamn seat then slouches down and holds her face with her toilet hands
• when he leans on my head when I’m putting on his shoes. OMFG! Just stand up!
• when he sticks his elbow in my boob, stomach or thigh to push himself up
• when they say ‘Mum’ repeatedly even though I’ve already answered
• when they step on my toes or the top of my feet
• when they make ALL. THE. NOISE just for shiz and giggles
• when they tap, tug, pull on my clothes—basically any sort of repetitive touching
• when she ignores me or pretends not to hear me
• when she fake-cries or puts on a baby voice.
See? We’ve all got those little things that send us over the edge. They’re the love of your life but no one will make you fume like your own child.