Your child will love you more than any other human in the world. Your koala’s world will revolve around you, her light, her source of love and care—until she becomes a toddler.
This child who ran to you for every tiny need in her life because you grew her and fed her and kept her alive for so long … she has discovered Daddy.
You love your partner, you feel like a team, you want to be his equal in all parts of parenting.
But one day you’ll spend nine hours straight running after your child, setting up activities, making all the food, singing songs and reading books and just generally being a boss.
Then he’ll waltz in. Do a wiggly arm movement and your child will light up like she’s just seen the face of God and she will drop you like the hot garbage you are. Clearly this man is a ball bag. He’s a traitor and a scoundrel who will never once try to play it cool to make you look good because he secretly loves being the favourite.
It honestly makes me wonder why mothers have traditionally been the primary caregiver; because it seems that children universally prefer men over women.
It’s not that kids don’t like women. They think women are perfectly acceptable and might even enjoy spending time with us. But if they had a choice, they’d choose to hang out with blokes. Every time.
Look, I’m not going to theorise about why this is. A more bitter woman might say something like, ‘it makes sense because men are basically extra large children so they think like three year olds all day long,’ but I’d never suggest that. And I’d never suggest it’s because men can give kids their full attention when they’re together; whereas women are playing trains while menu-planning, folding laundry, writing to-do lists in their minds, answering work emails behind their kids’ backs, etc.
So yeah, I have no idea why kids gravitate towards men. And I’m not bothered by it at all. Just gave them life, you know? No big deal. Just cater to their every need and desire. It’s totally fine. Just work myself into the ground every single waking hour trying to make them happy, I’M REALLY OKAY ABOUT THIS.
It’s also entirely possible your child will like their grandparents more than you. But this makes total sense because your parents’ house is like Toddler Disneyland where rules and sugar limits don’t apply.
Once upon a time if you told your mum, ‘I’m hungry’, her response would have been, ‘get an apple’. But with your kids it’s ‘Did you want some chips? Some biscuits? I bought a nice cake at the shops today!’
Sure it would be nice if they didn’t spoil them quite as much, but then again, how lucky are kids to have grandparents in their lives? How special to have more adults to love them and dote on them like the little masterpieces they are. Grandparents are golden, but especially in toddlerhood when kids start to get a little bit tired of hanging out with their parents. They’ve reached the age when they want to broaden their social circle a bit. Preferably to include those lovely old folk whose eyes light up when they walk through the door and who say yes to every frivolous demand thrown at them. Which is a little bit rich, considering how strict they were with you.
Watching my parents with my kids is one of the great joys of my life. Knowing how much they adore them and worry about them makes me feel like I have a team. And my children would drop me in a heartbeat if there was ever an option to go and live with Nanny and Papa. They’re just more fun than I am.