Don’t mess with the pregnant lady
Trifling with a pregnant lady is a fool’s errand. Only the dimmest of dimwits would challenge a woman who is growing a second spine right now.
It’s like trying to defuse a bomb. Sure, you might cut the right wire, and everything will be calm and the world will be at peace.
Or you could cut the wrong wire and you will end up with no face.
A lady with a baby in the tummy is a lady who might not be feeling quite like herself.
The stone-cold bitch can turn into a bleeding heart who stays back at work every night to help the cleaning lady because she’s just working so hard to take care of her family and it’s not right that she has to do it alone.
The strong, confident woman is now the chick in the corner sobbing her heart out because the cafe ran out of banana bread and why is everything just so hard now?
The sweet, mild-mannered lass is now suddenly leaping out of her car to launch a stinging, foul-mouthed assault on the man who’s taking too long to fill up his car with petrol. F#@&ing f#@&er!
The loved-up newlywed could scare herself with how violently she loathes her husband when he eats that way. How has she never noticed it before? How can she possibly raise a child with this animal? It’s all been such a colossal mistake.
You might become emotional over the oddest things. Not being able to bend over because of the basketball stuck to your front. Not being able to squeeze through tight spots because you can’t squash that tummy in. Not being able to see your fanny anymore. So many fun things to cry about!
It’s okay, darling, you’re just pregnant. You’re not losing your mind. It’s just taking a short break. Not sure when it’ll come back. Maybe after the baby arrives, maybe not. Hard to tell. But you’ll be okay. I think.
Side note: you might not become a pregnant sex kitten either. This is really only upsetting for all the partners out there who seem to know one ‘fact’ about pregnancy: ‘She’ll get horny’. Sorry to prick your bubble, fellas (see what I did there?) but some women will swing the opposite way, and the suggestion of a quick shag will make her want to hurt you.