You might feel like a hippo, and every movement is painful, but there will come a time right at the end where nothing will stop you getting down onto your hands and knees to scrub that filthy floor of yours.
You simply can’t bring your baby home to this scum-palace. What would he think? Those skirting boards are shameful. Your wardrobe also needs to be sorted out tout suite. There’s just no excuse for that flea-pit.
Then you’ll become frantic about all the things that need to be finished before the baby arrives. You need to get your hair done, and your eyebrows. You’ve never done your nails before, but you can’t imagine meeting your baby with those naked stumps.
You should also put all your babymoon photos into an album. And maybe you should start writing thank you notes now in preparation for all the baby gifts.
Basically, you’ll try to tick everything off any to-do list that’s ever existed in your life. It’s actually not a bad idea.