There’s this moment when you’re sitting down, having a cup of tea and you suddenly realise you haven’t heard a sound for a few minutes. Has it been two minutes? Five? Oh god, how long has it been? WHERE IS SHE AND WHAT IS SHE DOING?
You are overcome with shushpicion—the unsettling suspicion that hits when things are too quiet.
So you go searching, and you find her. And, like any mother, you have a decision to make. Is the scene you stumble upon serious enough to intervene—and therefore ruin the silence? Or do you let it run its course so you can finish your tea while it’s hot? It’s a very delicate balance where the cost of the destruction + time required to clean has to exceed the value of tea time.
Let’s look at some shushpicious situations and whether intervention is required:
You see your child pulling out every item from your carefully organised T-shirt drawer. But she’s happy and quiet.
That’s an easy one. You let her go. Silent play is priceless; you can deal with the drawer later.
Your child is calmly and happily painting the carpet with nappy cream.
You intervene immediately. Silent play might be priceless but that devil cream will never, ever come out.
You find him sitting in the flowerbed, picking up clumps of mud to rub on his face.
You might worry he’s ruining his clothes, killing the flowers and you simply don’t understand his need to rub filth on his face but hey, you’re drinking hot tea and he’s having the time of his life. Let him go.
You’ve gone to visit a friend and her new baby. Your toddler is overly interested in this tiny slug in a wrap and sits staring at the child with intent.
You’d love to chat with your friend but this is not a time to be hands-off. New mums are notoriously precious about protecting their newborns’ safety. And let me tell you now: toddlers never, ever have a newborn’s best interests at heart. Never. You don’t want your legacy to be: ‘Remember that time your kid stuck a rice cracker in my baby’s eye?’
You find your toddler carefully applying your lipstick to his arms.
Well, this depends on how much you like the lipstick. Because really, you’re weighing up the value of the lipstick versus the value of the awesome photo you’re going to get at the end of it. Never underestimate the value of a good toddler photo. They’ll be treasured for years to come.
Which reminds me: whenever you go to investigate silence, you must ALWAYS take your camera with you. You never know what scene you’re about to interrupt and it’s considered bad parenting to leave your child teetering on the top of a ladder to go back and get your camera. But if you’re there, camera in hand, and they look fairly stable and you don’t take your eyes off them, well it’s just madness to not take a quick snap before you get them down, isn’t it?
P.S interrupting whatever they were doing is going to cause a tantrum. Probably a big one.