Forrest Gump said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.’
Oh, Forrest.
Mate, you’re going to get a goddamn chocolate, aren’t you? It’s not rocket science. And if it’s vitally important to know the flavour you’re going to get, there’s a visual guide on the inside of the box to help you out. Use your head, buddy.
Becoming a mother for the first time is nothing like a box of chocolates (which is ironic, given your craving for chocolate will skyrocket) unless that box of chocolates is also littered with cold hard exhaustion, self-doubt and lumps of poo. And there isn’t a handy guide to let you know which is which.
What I’m trying to say is that if you dive into a box of chocolates, you’ll probably get chocolate. Having a newborn? That’s the ultimate lucky dip of life. It could be the greatest joy you’ve ever known, or it could send you halfway to the loony bin. And both would be completely standard.
Mums don’t often talk about the first few weeks of motherhood, except in a vague, hazy, rose-tinted way that does nothing to prepare other mums for what’s about to come.
In our defence, there’s a legitimate reason we don’t tell you about the newborn days: WE DON’T REMEMBER. Like trauma victims who can’t remember the details of their injury, mothers lose the details of that first month or so.
Not that it’s necessarily traumatic (though it can be), but the physical recovery, paired with the sleep deprivation (that you’re not used to yet), mixed with the emotional uppercut you suffer as you try to wrap your mind around What The Actual Fallopian just happened … it’s a lot for one human to process.
So to help us survive (and to ensure we do it all again), the brain blurs the edges a bit. It glosses over some of the yucky parts and tidies up some of those rough bits and makes the whole thing seem rather like a funny dream.
If we were able to remember, we’d tell you those first few weeks changed us in the most extraordinary and profound ways. You’ll never be a first-time mum again. It’s a pretty big deal.
Note: your baby is officially considered a newborn for the first four weeks, but in all honesty, it will be about twelve weeks before you come up for air and start thinking about yourself again. This is called the fourth trimester: three whole months when your baby is wishing he was still on the inside, and you’re wishing you could remember what life was like before. This stage is all about surviving day to day and trying to find some sort of rhythm.
Good luck, lady, and remember, YOU WILL SURVIVE because you’re a mum now, and it’s what we do.
Love Lauren xx