Who I Am and What I Do and
Do Not Care About
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat, before we even begin this thing: I am not concerned with casual adult marijuana use. So long as kids don’t see you (and if they do, realize that it reduces their perception of risk, making them more likely to use before their brains are developed and causing them much more harm), and you are not driving (I don’t think I need to make much of a case against driving under the influence), I seriously don’t care if an adult chooses to consume weed. As a recovering drug addict, not only do I not get to throw stones, I have no interest in the conversation. We will get into all of this later, but by the age of twenty-five to twenty-six a person’s brain is pretty well developed. The likelihood of doing harm to yourself or others because of your use is significantly reduced, unless you’re doing something dumb or irresponsible while intoxicated—so just don’t do dumb things!
With that said there is potential for harm with any mood-altering substance that intoxicates. I’m not advocating for the adults reading this book to put it down, settle into a comfy sofa, press play on The Wizard of Oz and The Dark Side of the Moon at the same time while blazing one. If you choose to, however, don’t drive and don’t let kids see you and I won’t say a word against it.
We’re only a few sentences in, but I’ll bet I’ve managed to piss off some of you already. The old school of drug abuse prevention is likely unable to reconcile how someone who is so publicly opposed to marijuana commercialization could say something as heretical as what I just did. I can hear it now, “Can you believe this? Now the author is advocating that people get high! He even suggests they do it while watching Judy Garland, God rest her soul!”
At the same time the pro-legalization crowd is likely yelling at the page, “There aren’t chemicals in a plant! Driving high isn’t nearly as bad as other things we could be doing, not to mention that kids shouldn’t be lied to about adult use,” or, “It’s the same old reefer madness crap. The war on drugs is a failure so back off and stop crusading!”
Warning: If the first few sentences did, indeed, frustrate you, it may be time to put this book down, walk away, hold onto the position that you had when you picked the book up, and keep on keeping on, no hard feelings.
Still with me? Good, because I wasn’t writing this for the hardliners anyway. I’m not putting this together for those so entrenched in the dogma of their own “side” that they will reject anything that confronts the construct through which they view this issue. I’m writing for those of you who are genuinely interested in learning about this complex topic. People who are scratching their heads trying to sift through the news reports to decide what is best for themselves, their families, their states, and their countries. It is for people wrestling with this issue, and for those willing to consider that they may have more to learn. That the experiences on which you have formed your opinion of what is going on with weed and the changing legal landscape today might not be all encompassing. It’s tough not to rely solely on our experiences to form our opinions. As Nelson Mandela said, “Where you stand depends on where you sit.”
With that last thought in mind it’s pretty important that you understand where I sit and how that has influenced where I stand. I have opinions about this that have been formed over many years, and more will come out about what has influenced me, but to start off here are a few highlights. I’m a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, sober since June 15, 1996. I am a resident of Colorado living in Boulder County and working in Denver. I am married and my wife and I are raising three school-aged kids. When I wrote this, I was working for a nonprofit drug and alcohol treatment program at the University of Colorado Hospital and have been in this field since 2007. I am also pretty involved in this issue of marijuana policy both locally and nationally. I’ll expand on all of this shortly but I think the bottom line is that I am right smack in the middle of the action and I’m keeping my eyes open. Much has changed in my home state the last few years and, among other things, I hope to give you a street-level view of those changes.
To counter the list of who I am, I now offer who I am not: a doctor. In fact, I barely graduated from high school and earned my first college credits last year at thirty-six. With that said, I can read and understand the scientific process well enough to understand the studies that will be cited. My knowledge on this subject does not come through formal classroom education although I attend lots of sessions on the subject at medical and therapeutic conferences. Heck, I even led many of them. Trust me, the irony of a guy like me leading sessions for politicians, doctors, law enforcement, etc., is not lost on either me or my lovely wife!
More often than not, I will shake my head and laugh to myself before taking the stage, stepping in front of a camera, or sitting down with people who truly shape the world in which we live. In my mind’s eye I’m still that kid who got sober and learned to live again. I have been blessed beyond belief. I would much rather be working directly with those struggling to overcome addiction, hanging out with my amazing family, or chasing trout with my fly rod than having this conversation. I do so because there is a real need to write this book; I wish there was not.
Alas, if toothpicks were ocean liners we would cross the seas on toothpicks, my wishing isn’t helping much. This is a complex subject and I’ve been avoiding writing this for too long. In what follows I intend to be honest, I hope to be educational, and I trust what I write will be considered.
I care deeply for my home state. My family moved to Boulder, Colorado when I was four years old and remained here until I was twelve when we moved to Northern Virginia, the suburbs of Washington, DC. Home to the University of Colorado, Boulder is a college town with a laid-back vibe; a layover for wanderers with their lives on their backs, most good natured, some intimidating. It’s close to Denver but a world away. The foothills of the Rockies are right at the edge of town and you can easily spend the afternoon hiking and fishing. For a kid, it was a magical place to grow up.
Colorado was home to me, even after we moved away, and I dreamed about the day I could go back there to live again. Much of my childhood, my parents were on public assistance and we couldn’t afford to return to the Centennial state after we moved away. Still, every so often, I would be reminded of home. I’d see a jay in camp and its call would remind me of the Rockies. The scent of pine trees would make me think of hiking the trails at Chautauqua Park in the shadow of the Flatirons. I’d hear a song or think of a forgotten friend from those years and immediately I’d be transported back to the Colorado of my childhood. We’d camp and climb and fish not only because they were the only forms of recreation our family could afford, but also because we loved to explore. The meat in the freezer was harvested with pride by my father and eventually by us both. The name John Elway was—and still is—to be spoken with awe and reverence at all times. Colorado has always been a paradise on earth in my mind. A place where one can climb ice in the morning up Clear Creek Canyon, climb rock in the afternoon on the Golden Cliffs, and still make it into town for fresh sushi and a show. The opportunity to find adventure in our wilderness and culture in our urban areas is a rare thing. With the robust economy and the opportunities for adventure, one can not only earn a living here but have a good life.1
After marrying much further out of my league than anyone should, I returned to Colorado with my wife, Christy, in the fall of 2003. Money was really tight and we needed to have a yard sale in order to rent a moving truck. We had few dollars in our pockets when we got there and even fewer plans that involved much more than a tent, a fly rod, and a climbing rack.
But as I said, I’ve been blessed. I’d left what I thought to be a promising job in Pennsylvania as a chimney sweep two years earlier for what turned out to be an amazing profession: recruiting. Although I had no job when we moved to Colorado, this was something I’d started doing before I left the East Coast, and I was able to continue it when I moved to the West. I worked for hospitals and helped them find and hire doctors. It was easy work, paid the bills, and, most importantly, didn’t get in the way of our exploration of the state. We took road trips, backpacked, camped, and biked all over the state in the ensuing years. As I reacquainted myself with the land and people, and tried to understand both as an adult, I was able to introduce my wife to this place and it to her. Both were richer for it.
In addition to recruiting, on the side I was a climbing instructor. My father was a climber and I have always climbed. I love to teach, especially kids. For those of you not familiar with the climbing community, it has a bit of a reputation: play hard, party harder. Being the sober guy—I had seven years of sobriety at this point—I was used to being one of a very few who didn’t drink or use; it was no big deal to me and certainly no big deal to those I climbed with. One of the few other sober climbers I knew ended up working for me at a climbing gym and we hit it off. We started to climb pretty seriously together. He was a strong ice climber and I had never tried the sport that my father walked away from as too risky. I learned to climb ice and loved it. There are still few things in this world that I would consider more peaceful than the rhythmic ascent of a frozen waterfall far from civilization. It is lonely, demands focus, and can push one as far as they are willing to be pushed. It was on one of these climbs, somewhere in the snow-blanketed Rocky Mountain National Park, that my climbing partner, Scott, and I started kicking around the idea of getting other sober people together to climb. He had a cabin back East in North Conway, New Hampshire, and had thrown a few sober New Year’s climbing bashes there. It sounded cool. As we tossed around more about what it could look like, our shared excitement grew. Eventually, he found some money and I quit my job and we started a little nonprofit called Phoenix Multisport (PM).
We were careful but also took risks with the business. Keeping the end goal always in mind, to provide a safe community for those living sober lives to connect with other active, like-minded people, we watched in awe as PM blew up. Within two years we had a fulltime staff of around ten and were running twenty-plus free events every week. It was amazing. The events, to which we supplied the gear and instruction, ranged from biking, running, triathlon, adventure racing, camping, strength training, hiking, and of course lots of climbing. Before we knew it, thousands of people up and down the Front Range were coming to the events to meet people who expected more out of life in their sobriety than they had found in their years of use. The success got us noticed and we both ended up front and center on the national scene discussing sobriety. Scott actually went on to be named a 2012 top 10 CNN Hero2 pretty cool!
Hopefully this gives you an idea of where I was coming from when I joined this conversation. Skipping ahead to 2012, we had thirtyish employees at PM and were running over fifty events every week out of locations in Boulder, Denver, and Colorado Springs. By this time, Christy and I had started a family. The pace needed to sustain and grow PM was frenetic, and certainly not conducive to being an engaged and involved parent. Because of this, I started to consider the appropriate time for me to leave PM. I knew it was the right decision but painful, nonetheless, because I couldn’t imagine doing anything other than what I was doing. The rewards, all but monetary, were unparalleled and I had never loved work so much. I woke up every day energized and motivated.
I had gotten to know people around the state working at PM and was fortunate to call many with similar passions friends. When one of those friends suggested that I should get involved in politics I was almost as offended as I was amused. I never put much trust in government and less in people who would say anything it took to get a vote. I was also acutely aware that even if I had an interest, people who go through an active addiction don’t have the squeaky clean (or at least whitewashed) past that politicians do. We tend to wear our mistakes on our sleeves, and only by addressing them head-on can we ever hope to overcome them.
When my friend went on to explain that it was my experience that would make me good as a person fighting Amendment 64 (A64)— the constitutional amendment authorizing the use and regulation of marijuana/THC in the State of Colorado—I really did laugh out loud. I grew up watching Cheech and Chong and listening to Cypress Hill. I had also smoked a lot of weed, and I thought it was silly that we locked addicts up for possession. We needed more good treatment and prevention in the world and less incarceration. I’ve always considered minimum sentencing laws silly. Growing up in a peer group where I was one of the few white people, I had seen firsthand the harm that racially disproportionate sentencing could do. I believe I was like most of my generation in thinking that it was no big deal, and maybe even for the best, when I heard about A64.
When I was involved with PM, we had seen a commercial market spring up in 2009 for medical marijuana that was ridiculous—it was often laughable who was using it “medicinally”—but I was so involved with PM that I had paid it little mind. So I told my friend that it really didn’t interest me and that I didn’t want anything to do with politics. Before parting ways she encouraged me to read over the proposed language on A64 and I agreed.
The law has always fascinated me. I’ve always liked to review contracts myself before sending them out to council. Something about the binding power of words draws me in. When I did sit down to read over the 3,666 words that made up A64, and that were ultimately to be enshrined within our state constitution, I was shocked.
I expected it to be written from the “live and let live” mentality, a countercultural thumb in the eye of an industrialized prison complex, or a well-considered approach to implementation. Instead, I read page after page spelling out the rights of The Industry and the creation of safeguards for it. Remember, this was an industry that really didn’t exist. Not only would it be created overnight, it would be given the keys to the kingdom! Even to a layman like me, the loopholes were big enough to drive trucks through, and after my first read-through I knew I was looking at the christening of a commercial industry. This wasn’t about freedom. It was, and is, about big business.
That was it for me. I knew for sure I needed to leave PM, not only because of my family but because I now had a new mission. My last day was on our annual trip to Moab in May 2012. Around a campfire with 120 recovering addicts and alcoholics, I said my farewells and they said theirs to me. It was bittersweet, and I still miss those days. But I made the right decision; I knew I had to act.
I’ll discuss my time with the A64 campaign in more detail later, and at that point you will likely see why the largest tattoo I have is a big “politics be damned” image. Following the election of 2012, when we passed A64 in Colorado, I decided that I was done with all things addiction and got back into recruiting. I made it three months before I knew I needed to get back to working with those on the front line fighting addiction. I took a job with the University of Colorado Hospital in their substance-use disorder treatment program, CeDAR (Center for Education Dependency and Addiction Recovery) and was a proud member of that life-changing team until January 2017, when I left to focus fulltime on consulting and educating about THC. In the pages that follow, I will heavily draw upon my experience over the last several years working at the tip of the spear battling addiction.
One last note about my experience. Two days after the election that enshrined commercialized THC into our state constitution, I got a call from a guy I liked and had gotten to know a bit throughout the campaign, Kevin Sabet—or Dr. Sabet, if we’re making dinner reservations. Kevin came out to Colorado once or twice to talk politics with the campaign and we hit it off. While we are almost exactly the same age, our paths were as different as they could be. Kevin grew up in Orange County, California, and went on to Berkeley where he made noise as a student senator and advocate for drug prevention and human rights. At that time, I was mastering the art of gravity bong construction and committing grand theft auto. Following Berkeley, Kevin went on to Cambridge where he studied public policy as a Marshall Scholar, writing his doctoral dissertation on drug policy. While he was being appointed to his first of three White House staffs, I was watching addiction kill friends and was starting to allow myself to dream of what sobriety might look like.
So Kevin called me a couple of days after the vote and told me that he was thinking about starting an organization that would promote the scientific aspect of marijuana use in public policy. He felt like the scientific and medical communities were too absent from the conversation and had some cool ideas to get them more involved. We kicked the idea around a while and I got excited. I loved the notion of helping to create a platform where the opinions of those who mattered most would be heard. Shortly thereafter, Kevin called again to tell me that both President George W. Bush’s speechwriter David Frum and Democratic icon Patrick Kennedy had reached out to him and were deeply concerned and wanted to do something to help. Kevin told them about the organization, and Smart Approaches to Marijuana (SAM) was born.
In the months that followed, SAM came into the national spotlight. We all spent a lot of time talking to the media and discussing the importance of incorporating sound science into drug policy. Kevin has become a dear friend and encouraged me to stay involved in this conversation.
Kevin and Patrick went on to recruit a world-class board of directors, composed of doctors and scientists, to help inform our positions. SAM would emerge as a global thought leader in the marijuana conversation. I remain on the board of directors, made up of some of the finest minds in the world on this subject. They keep me around for the street view, for the recovery perspective, and probably because they feel sorry for me. I’m the only one on the board without an “alphabet soup” after my name! Much that I have learned in the years since has come from these sources.
I will spend the following chapters elaborating on that politically charged statement: “This wasn’t about freedom, it was about big business.” In addition to my own experience from the street view in Colorado, I have access to some of the finest minds in the nation on this subject and will present their opinions and findings, even when they do not align with mine. As I hope to illustrate, this conversation is too important to allow dogma or preconceived ideas to dictate the future. We owe it to ourselves and to future generations to consider this issue from all sides.
One more note before we get started: I had to make some decisions about the size of this book project, and while it may seem long, it’s not comprehensive. This issue is changing daily and what follows isn’t exhaustive, but it’s a good starting point aimed at educating and encouraging conversation. There isn’t one book that could sum up everything about weed, so take what follows for what it is: an overview and a conversation starter. I’ve had a hard time not trying to sneak in more every single day since this book has been “done,” but I’ve added what was determined to be the most relevant and I had to streamline much of that. As the old quote goes, “If I’d had more time, I would have written a shorter letter,” I have tried to keep this thing concise.
I’ll apologize in advance for my prose. I am an avid reader and while I have never quit on a book (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance almost got me; six months to wade through that one), I have always been critical of what I perceived to be poor literature. I more or less write this in the same tone that I speak. I hope it isn’t distracting and that you can see past my inexperienced hand to the truths I intend to present.