On August 25, 2005, the people who lived in the city of New Orleans were preparing for yet another hurricane. Having already caused havoc to the islands in the Gulf of Mexico, the arrival of this category-five hurricane called Katrina had people searching for safety. Some left the city, some found shelter in the Super Dome and some hunkered down in their homes to weather the storm. Although the threat of hurricanes is an annual event for those on the Gulf Coast, no one expected the massive damage that would later be known as one of the worst natural disasters in United States history.
Most people believed the city was safe. Sure, there had been warnings by experts that the levees protecting the city might not withstand the pounding of a huge hurricane, but few actually believed they would break. Everybody felt safe, because the levees had held in the past.
On August 27, 2005, the unthinkable happened: The levees near one of the poorest sections of the city broke, and much of the city was soon under water. New Orleans may never fully recover from the tremendous loss of life and damage to the city.
Unfortunately, the roots of this tragedy are grounded in believing a lie: that the safety of New Orleans and the people who lived there was assured by the levees. Investigations reveal that government officials were told by engineers and experts that the levees were not guaranteed to hold, but most of the populace believed they were safe behind these massive barriers. It’s one thing to choose to live dangerously when you know the risk, but it’s quite another to be told that you are safe when in reality, you are not.
In this lesson, we are going to undress the lie of “safe sex.” The lie goes something like this: If you choose to have sex, you should wear a condom because condoms will protect you from pregnancy. Also, condoms will protect you from HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms protect you from the negative consequences of sex.
Another part of the lie says that God’s call to remain abstinent is outdated. In our technologically advanced world, we no longer have to worry about the negative consequences of sex outside of marriage because condoms and other forms of birth control make it “safe.”
A more subtle lie says, “If you love God, He will protect you from disease and life-threatening illness, even when you make choices that put your life in danger.”
Before we hear from Lakita, let’s take a short quiz to see how much you know about the reality of safe sex. True or False:
1. Male condoms are effective in preventing the spread of most STDs.
True False
2. Female condoms (or pouches) give couples a safe way to have sex without the fear of contracting an STD.
True False
3. Because your genitals do not touch each other, oral sex is not really sex.
True False
4. If you use a condom correctly and it does not leak, tear or break, you do not have to worry about contracting the most common viral STD: HPV.
True False
5. If used effectively and all the time, the use of a condom will protect you from ever getting pregnant.
True False
6. Gonorrhea throat infections can occur when people participate in oral sex.
True False
7. The only 100 percent sure way to prevent STDs or pregnancy is through abstinence.
True False
8. Condom manufacturers assure their customers that if they follow the instructions on the package, their condoms will prevent pregnancy and STDs.
True False
9. The only condom that would be completely effective would be a condom that covered your entire body.
True False
10. God gave us condoms and contraceptives so that we could have sex and not worry about consequences.
True False
During the video, compare your answers to the information you hear from Lakita. Take a moment to ask God to use this time to help you gain wisdom concerning the choices you make in your life. As you watch the video, be sure to write down your thoughts and questions.
Check out this true story of love, sex and dating:
John and Karen were college students who loved God and loved each other.1 They had a strong desire to please God with their bodies. As they continued to date, the tension between pleasing God and pleasing themselves sexually intensified. They knew the dangers of pregnancy and STDs, so they agreed to not have sex until they were married. By sex, they meant actual intercourse. John and Karen never broke that commitment.
You can imagine how shocked Karen was when she missed her period. After a couple of weeks of worry, she decided to take a pregnancy test. The test revealed that she was pregnant. Since Karen had not been close to another man sexually, John was the father. Even though Karen was technically still a virgin (no actual penetration), they simulated sex while just wearing underwear. They thought everything was “safe” if they didn’t go all the way. They were wrong.
John and Karen spent the next year on a roller coaster of emotions toward each other and toward God. Why would God allow this to happen? How could they raise a child when they were still in college? Did they really love each other enough to get married? Should they give the child up for adoption?
What’s the lie that John and Karen believed that caught them by surprise?
Why didn’t God protect John and Karen from an unplanned pregnancy? After all, they did not actually have intercourse and they wanted to please God with their lives.
If you are dating someone, what type of sexual activity can you engage in that will keep you safe and will also be pleasing to God?
Believing the lie that God will protect you from the negative consequences of sin is nothing new. People are easily led astray by self-proclaimed prophets who preach an easy message of safety when, in reality, circumstances are far from safe.
More than 3,500 years ago, the prophet Jeremiah undressed a similar lie for the people of Israel. God’s message was simple: Follow My commands and you will be blessed. Problems arose, however, when the people of Israel grew weary of God’s ways and started devising their own. People today fall into the same trap. When we start living on our own and for ourselves, we often want others to join us, so we create lies to convince ourselves and others that it’s safe to turn away from God.
The king and the priests in Jeremiah’s day were preaching the lie of “safe religion.” “Safe religion” says you can do what you want during the week as long as you go to church and ask for forgiveness. You don’t need to worry about the consequences of sin, because God will always forgive you, always love you and always protect you, even when you totally disobey His commands.
The people of Israel felt safe because they had the temple. Some believed that God actually lived in the temple and that if you were in the temple, you were “in with God.” Others believed that because God called a former king, Solomon, to build the temple, God would never allow His temple to be destroyed.
Believers in “safe religion” look to churches and pastors to tell them they are “safe” even when they are not. “Safe religion” says that it’s easier to do your own thing than to follow God.
But because God loves us, He doesn’t let us wander away from Him without giving a warning. Jeremiah openly undressed this lie of safe religion.
Read Jeremiah 7:1-11.
If you were Jeremiah, what feelings would you have if you sensed God telling you to go tell the people that they were believing a lie?
Verse four reads, “Don’t trust in deceptive words that say, ‘This is the temple . . .’” Jeremiah was speaking against the other “prophets” of that day who used deceptive words and told the people that they were safe.
How do you know who to listen to? We have modern-day prophets who preach a message of “safe sex.” How do you determine whether those words are true or not?
Read Jeremiah 7:12-15.
What consequences would the people experience because they believed the lie of safety instead of following God’s way of life?
Can you think of a time when you suffered negative consequences because you believed a lie? What were the consequences?
People reacted violently to Jeremiah’s message. They did not want to hear that they were not safe. Jeremiah 26:7-9 records how people reacted to Jeremiah’s sermon, which undressed the lie of “safe religion.”
If you know someone who regularly engages in “safe sex,” do you think they want to know the truth about the dangers of safe sex? Why or why not?
Often we value our own desires over the truth and believe that what we don’t know can’t hurt us. We choose to believe those who tell us what we want to hear.
A wise, old man named Solomon wrote the book of Proverbs. Solomon had it all: money, fame, power and, yes, multiple partners. The Bible describes Solomon as a man who had 700 wives and 300 sex slaves. If anyone in the Bible could comment on the power of sex in one’s life, it would indeed be Solomon.
Check out these words from the book of Proverbs, which is a collection of Solomon’s thoughts about life.
Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public square? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared by strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?
For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths. The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly (Proverbs 5:15-23).
If Solomon were leading this lesson, what advice do you think he would give you about sex?
When you think back to the activity in lesson three, would it be easier or harder to rejoice in the “wife of your youth” (or husband of your youth) if you discovered that she or he had an STD? What about if you had to tell your spouse that you had an STD?
How can a lack of discipline, when it comes to sexuality, lead to death?
After reviewing your answers to the quiz, take a moment to answer the following questions on your own:
What information did you learn from the video that was new to you?
How does this impact your thinking about the concept of safe sex?
If you were to ask God for advice about safe sex, what do you think He would say?
As you come to the end of this lesson, take some time as a group to complete this T-Chart to describe the negative consequences of using condoms and other contraceptives as a means to have “safe sex.”
In the video, Lakita mentions that condoms are not able to protect your emotions, relationships and psychological well-being.
Describe the negative effects that having sex with someone can have on your emotions.
Describe how having sex outside of marriage could be damaging to your relationship with your friends, your family and God.
Is there really anything safe about “safe sex”? No. Is there really anything safe about following God’s pattern for sex? Yes.
Note
1. While John and Karen are not their real names, the couple gave permission for this part of their story to be shared.
