Title Page • Copyright • Dedication • Prologue: HERE IS A PINWHEEL • WE FIVE BOYS OF JUPITER • THE GREAT WELCOMING MANNEQUIN • MRS. NUSSBAUM, LARRY, AND THE SNORE WALL • THIS IS WHAT WE DO AT CAMP • SCARY STORIES • MARSHMALLOW JEFF AND THE BOYS FROM EARTH • DEMIKHOV’S DOGS AND THE ALEX CAT • TEACHER’S PET AND THE DUMPLING MAN • FRANCIS MACINNES IN THE CEMETERY • SO MUCH FOR GOOD LUCK! • THIS IS PROBABLY WHY YOU DON’T WAKE UP SLEEPWALKERS • SOCK PUPPET JESUS • RED MERCURY AND BOTTLED WATER • MALE EXTINCTION • YOU NEVER KNOW • CRYSTAL LUTZ AND IGOR ZELINSKY • THE YOKE OF INAUSPICIOUS STARS • SUCK IT UP, ICEMAN • ALL IN THE NAME OF RESEARCH, ARIEL • COFFEE FOR GOD • THE VERNACULAR OF MAX • THE STRANGE CASE OF DR. ALEXANDER MERRIE'S SIBERIAN ICE MAN • THE CABOOSE OF NATURAL SELECTION • SIM • THE BOOK OF MAX AND COBIE • I’M STILL THE SAME OLD GUY I’VE ALWAYS BEEN • A LITTLE GAME OF STONES IN A GRID • THE CAT AND THE MICE • FOX IN THE SNOW • BOYS IN THE WOODS • MAJOR KNOTT • THE BEST THING TO DO WITH ARIEL • HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME • SOMETHING MORE LIKE FONDUE • OUT FOR A WALK WHILE OUR PORRIDGE COOLS • UP IN THE WOODS A WAY UP THERE! • AMERICAN AIRSPACE • BRINGING YOUR FLAG BACK HOME • THE MELTING MAN AND THE BEAVER KING • OUR LAST DAY IN JUPITER • SUNDAY IN SUNDAY • MAX AND HIS BROTHER • Epilogue: MASON-DIXON-BRAND SAUERKRAUT • Acknowledgments