*

I use the word loosely.

†

He was our first ever black player. I did not know that either.

*

It’s not the reason but it explains why Argyle’s nickname is the Pilgrims.

†

One of you will inevitably know someone called Plymouth Pete who supports Bristol City, don’t worry about it.

*

Currently the club colour is registered as ‘Pine Needle Green’. The game’s gone.

†

Plymouth paid them £2,500, in £50 notes, after the game.

*

It already had. In 1949 and 1956 we successfully applied for re-election to the Third Division South. Being young, that news had been kept from me, but I would probably have been delighted that we’d won something.

*

There are older clubs, as discussed in the Sheffield United chapter for example, but they have never been in the Football League.

*

Has a man ever had such contrasting idols as Brian Moore and George Best?

†

Young people will probably need telling that ‘Y-fronts’ were the ubiquitous white underpants worn by most men for decades. Although they were never white for more than a day, obviously.

*

That sounds impressive, but try spending a car journey with him. He’s like Wikipedia you can’t switch off.

*

Reference courtesy of Barry Cryer, comedy legend and connoisseur of parrot jokes. You want to know what a randy French parrot sounds like? Ask Barry.

*

In those days the team at the bottom of the Fourth Division and the team at the top of the Southern League went head to head in an actual election-type thing.

§

I know, something is either unique or it isn’t. It’s artistic licence.

*

Chosen by a competition in 1964.

*

Freeport being a local company, not a place.

*

321.5 miles actually. Whether you’ve lost or not.

*

You never know, Carlisle fans, a consortium of Siberian millionaires may be looking to buy a club somewhere warm.

†

John Peel was a Cumbrian farmer and fox-hunter of some renown. It’s interesting that quite a few clubs, Leicester City in particular, are not shy of retaining their links to fox-hunting at a time when it is (rightly) so frowned upon.

‡

I’m amazed they didn’t stuff him.

*

I’m not making that up, sadly.

*

If you look it up, remember, it was still only two points for a win in those days.

*

Well, they were at the time of writing. The way football is going, they could well have been taken over by a Chinese betting company and bought Lionel Messi.

†

I decided not to name a current player as an example in case they do actually spend that on pants, or, even worse, don’t and get annoyed with me. Plus David is a genuinely nice chap, apparently, and wears lovely pants.

‡

Yes, there was. And they did only play by moonlight. If they also avoided garlic I think we may be on to a horror franchise here.

*

It was the first designated ‘new town’.

†

That’s a roundabout way of saying they grew up, ain’t it?

‡

‘Stadium’ is pushing it a bit as well, but I’m still trying to keep them happy.

*

If pushed, I might run to Mahrez and Kanté as well.

*

There are some who think it was because of ‘Fosse’ but as they were also referred to as ‘the Ancients’, I’m right.

*

And if that sentence doesn’t mark me down as a southerner, I don’t know what will.

*

I really wish there were ways other than yo-yos and roller-coasters to describe ups and downs. Tweet me if you can suggest any. I’ll bung them in the paperback.

†

Not every club stopped for the duration of the war, Blackpool, for instance, but most did.

*

Wingers were always wizards. Midfielders were always maestros. Full-backs were always the ones not good enough to be wingers or midfielders.

†

Blackpool were one of several clubs who kept a team going throughout the war, playing regular morale-boosting friendlies.

*

For some reason, advocates of long-ball football prefer ‘mixer’ to ‘18-yard box’.

*

A jukebox was like an iPad that hung on the wall of a pub.

†

The word ‘stewardship’ is only ever used in two contexts: football management and Game of Thrones.

*

I told you it was spurious.

†

Do you get the feeling that a certain someone writing a book may be a bit worried about his weight?

‡

Well-known pub fact.

§

No need to check, for a leftie pacifist I have a strange fascination for military history.

*

Not the only Kop, by the way. There are around 20 clubs who had a steep terrace at one end, named after a steep hill (‘Spion Kop’) fought over during the Second Boer War in 1900.

†

And to Bob Paisley, Joe Fagin, Kenny Dalglish, Bert Head and many other great managers.

*

She was carrying it, not the horse.

*

No pun intended. Unless my subconscious intended it.

*

She’s made up for it since. Carolyn was League Two’s CEO of the year in the 2019 Football Business Awards.

†

I’m not a very good actor, am I, even in writing. Of course I looked up the manager but even the internet doesn’t seem to know who the captain was. Feel free to inundate Bloomsbury with the answer. I’m sure they check non-Harry Potter correspondence from time to time.

‡

Presumably the football team of the army regiment of the same name. Whatever, I really hope they played in Lincoln Green shirts.