“Someone has obviously not been paying attention to all the homework we’ve been doing,” Karim said. “Are you out of your mind? Do you really think I’m going to go over to that house? Have you been brainwashed by Communists or something?”
“I have two words for you, Karim: ‘Jenkins’s Ear,’ ” I said.
Karim nodded like a scientist receiving a Nobel Prize. “That was some of my best work.”
I don’t know where he got all his ridiculous stories from.
The sun was down. Karim and I were cutting through the clearing in the woods by my house, past the pile of concrete and construction rubble that had been used to seal off the dangerous and abandoned “Sam’s Well,” which had become a kind of local landmark in this part of Texas.46
“I’ll walk there with you, but I will not go inside,” Karim said. “In fact, I may just stand outside my own house and watch or take pictures when you get swallowed up by the black beast that rises from the rooftop.”
I was doing my best to coax him into a walk to the Purdy House.
And Karim was not the most encouraging friend to have along when you’re going on the scariest mission you’ve ever been on.
But worse than Karim’s stubbornness and the fact that there was no moon this evening and it was getting dark quickly, was the fact that Bahar had not answered the last text I’d sent her (which I’d sent three times). And that text said this:
SAM: Is everything okay?
BAHAR:…
SAM: Is everything okay?
BAHAR:…
SAM: Bahar?
BAHAR:…
SAM: Is everything okay?
“Maybe her battery’s dead,” I said.
“If it makes you feel good, believe it,” Karim said.
“Maybe it’s on silent and she put her phone down somewhere so she could tuck Little Boris into bed.”
“Did you say ‘Little Charlie’?”
“No. Stop it. ‘Boris.’ Duh.”
“If it makes you feel good, believe it,” he repeated.
“Maybe there’s a solar flare and it’s causing spotty coverage at the house,” I said.
“If it makes you feel good, believe it.”
“You’re not being very helpful, Karim.”
“Throughout history, that’s what people have always said to realists, Sam.”
“A realist wouldn’t be afraid of going to the Purdy House. And a realist wouldn’t believe the exaggerated claims made by people in the Hill Country Yodeler. Because realists only ever think about things that are… uh… real.”
“If it makes you feel good, believe it.”
“Is that like a chant from your reformist yoga or something? Because it is definitely not making me feel good,” I said.
Then Karim said, “Hang on a second. Stand still. I want to capture the Sam Doing the Dumbest Thing He’s Ever Done in His Life reformist yoga pose.”
“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” I kept walking. Karim was about three steps behind me.
I said, “Maybe she dropped it and it broke.”
“If it makes you feel good, believe it.”
This could have easily gone on long enough for me and Karim to walk to Oklahoma, but we were coming up on the dirt road behind his place, and the roof of the Purdy House was already in sight, peeking through the gaps in the treetops.
And when we walked through the side of his yard, Karim said, “I’m going to go inside for a second and check in with my parents, and maybe get some more clothes.”
“You’re really going to leave me out here to go there alone?”
“What would my parents think if I didn’t come in?” Karim asked.
“They’d probably think it’s nice vacationing together in Mexico,” I said.
“Ha ha. Whatever, Sam. See you in a few. Maybe. If you make it back.”
And without even turning around, Karim trotted off and disappeared inside his front door.
So that was that, and I was stuck wanting to run back home and lock myself in, while desperately wondering what was going on with Bahar inside the Purdy House.
And I thought, Where is Princess Snugglewarm when you really need her?
46. Our second-most favorite local landmark was the giant T. rex hazard at Lily Putt’s Indoor-Outdoor Miniature Golf Complex.