Will coughs and all heads turn in his direction. There are nineteen of us packed into the two rooms and it’s… cosy. But it’s touching to see Mike and some of the people from the farm who helped with the buffet. I’m sure they already had plans of their own, so this means a lot to me.
‘Normally it’s the host who proposes a toast, but I think Tia will forgive me, on this occasion, for butting in to do the honours. Tonight, I’d like to ask you all to join me in raising your glasses to wish my lovely sister, Tia, Nic and Max, a speedy recovery. Sometimes it takes a near-tragedy to make us all remember to count our blessings.’
Will pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts and heads nod, vigorously.
‘Merry Christmas everyone and a huge thank you on behalf of Tia, my wife Sally, my daughter Bella and myself, for the way everyone has rallied around us during the last couple of days. We have all been touched by your kindness and generosity. And Olwen, well, you haven’t stopped since we arrived and you’ve looked after us all as if we were family. Here’s to friends and family, old and new.’
The room erupts and I’m the one who is feeling blessed tonight. As the general hub–hub dies down, Will begins speaking once more.
‘Bella has a little surprise for Aunty Tia. Bella, would you like to take centre stage?’
She’s not yet seven and tonight she looks like a little princess in a soft cream–coloured sweater dress, with hand–beaded pearly–white snowflakes cascading over one shoulder. I can see she’s nervous as she looks first at Sally and then at Will, before turning to face me. And then she begins to sing.
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm, all is bright …
Everyone is transfixed as Bella’s beautifully clear, sweet little voice fills the room. Nic rests his hand gently on mine as we stare in amazement at the little angel standing in front of us. I look around and I can’t see one single eye that isn’t glistening.
Everything happens for a reason. As my emotions threaten to overwhelm me, I realise that Mum’s passing is the reason why Will, Sally and Bella are here with me, tonight. As horrible as it feels to acknowledge that, I know it’s a fact. I had every intention of whisking her away to some exciting destination in an attempt to fill our Christmas void. But the underlying sadness would still have been there because family is everything.
Will and Sally are standing there watching Bella with obvious pride in their eyes, but they are also genuinely overjoyed to be here. I’m sure Sally’s parents will be missing them this Christmas, but they gave up what was their normal Christmas tradition, in order to keep me company. My brother and his family put me first and that says more than words can express.
To know that Bella is singing this song for me because she hopes it will make me feel better, is the only gift I want this Christmas. It means that we are a real family again. We all make mistakes and sometimes, in the process, hearts can be broken. I’ve learnt to forgive Will because I’ve seen how bitterly he regrets what happened. And, in turn, he has forgiven me for my harsh judgement of him. He simply couldn’t let go of our father’s memory and wasn’t able to acknowledge the fact that life has to go on, no matter how much it hurts.
The smiling faces around me give me hope and make me feel like a woman who has been blessed. Even when bad things happen, if you have friends and family around you then you can overcome anything.
*
With the benefit of a little hot food and some wonderful company I can feel myself perking up. The liveliness inside the cottage is a tonic and as I’m chatting to Tom, laughing about the night of the barn dance, Nic suddenly appears. He’s holding my coat in his hands.
‘Sorry to butt in on you, Tom, but I know you’ll forgive me. There’s something I want Tia to see. We’ll be back in a few moments.’
Tom offers me his arm so I can stand and Nic helps me on with my coat. In the background Olwen’s daughter, Rhona, and Bella, are dancing to the strains of Slade’s Merry Christmas Everybody.
I look at Nic and he leans towards me so our foreheads are touching. ‘Come on, let’s grab a little fresh air.’
Opening the door, he pauses to zip up his own coat and I step ahead of him, over the threshold. As I survey the crisp white scene before me, my breath is literally taken away. Well over an inch of snow has already fallen and the sky is heavy with thick, white flakes, that almost don’t look real. Pulling the door closed, he sidles up next to me.
‘I know, it’s unbelievable, right? Christmas Eve at Holly Cove and it’s snowing. How often does that happen? Guess there is a little magic in the air, after all.’
He takes my arm in his and we walk steadily towards the front gate.
‘I’ve never seen snow on sand before,’ I comment, thinking how surreal it looks.
Snowflakes descend upon us in increasing numbers, but we hardly notice as we make our way down the beach. Although it’s late, the eerie grey light from the sky makes it feel much earlier.
Nic gives my arm a gentle squeeze.
‘We both tried so hard not to fall in love, Tia, didn’t we? What has become very clear to me is that love isn’t something you can control, is it? It grabs you by the heart and fills your head with impossible dreams. Yes, it’s scary and it takes a brave person to make that leap of faith. But life is about taking risks, if you want to live it to the full.’
‘Olwen said, “When love comes knocking you have to open the door, or you’ll never know if it was the chance to grab that happy ending” and she was right, Nic. There are no guarantees but if we don’t try, we’ll never know.’
His eyes quiz mine and I can see a vein pulsing on the side of his temple. His heart is racing and it’s for all the right reasons.
‘But how is this ever going to work, as our worlds are so far apart? The thought of going back to London after what happened… it’s not a good place for me, Tia. And yet, I can’t hold you back – I love you too much to do that to you. However, I’ve seen how long-distance relationships fall apart when two people are forced to have separate lives, outside of the one they share together.’
‘Loving someone means making sacrifices and believing in your heart that it’s worth it, Nic.’ My eyes seek out his and I can see his dilemma is over.
‘I’m not going to be the same man going back, so why should I fear that I’m going to succumb to old ways rather than embracing my new direction? I know you’ll support me in everything I do, Tia, and that’s the difference. I want to prove to you I can do this. The future is going to be what we make it. I’m still reeling over the fact that my mother is the one who brought us together. Does that mean she really does have a heart beneath that cool exterior of hers?’
I smile and I can see by the look in his eyes that it has touched him.
‘Will you talk to her about it?’
He eases his head back, stretching his neck and looking up at the sky while he considers my question.
‘She saw in you the very thing that I needed to make me feel complete. That takes a lot of soul searching for a woman who is ruled by her head and not her heart. I doubt she will ever change but she’s given me the one thing I need to make my life meaningful again and that’s you. I intend to let her know that and then it’s up to her what happens next.’
My eyes begin to mist over, although I refuse to give in to the tears.
‘I’m glad, as this must have been a journey into the unknown for her with no guarantees it would work out as she had planned. It was certainly unexpected and now here we are!
‘But you are an idiot at times, Nic. This is where we are meant to be and I wouldn’t dream of dragging you away. Not least because Georgina’s memories are here and that grounds you. I’ve had the satisfaction of knowing I’m good enough to do the job, but you never asked me whether it was what I wanted. Maybe a few weeks ago, given our misunderstanding, I would have answered yes to that question. Now I know that I would have been fooling myself. What I want more than anything is to be with you. Just because I work from an office in a little cottage on the beach, doesn’t mean my journalistic skills won’t be in demand. Besides, in between doing my research, and writing, I think you’re going to be in need of an assistant. I did a pretty good job of holding your camera bags and handling those precious lenses. I’m a woman of many talents.’
He raises one eyebrow.
‘I guess that includes teaching this stubborn guy a lesson, or two. You had my heart from the moment I first caught sight of you, Tia, but it was scary. Will was right, it takes a near-tragedy to put things into perspective. I’m here for you always and nothing, and no one, is going to hurt you again.’
We kiss as the snow continues to tickle our faces and settle upon us, like a soft downy blanket melting in seconds and then being replaced with yet another layer. I’m not cold. I feel wrapped in the love of a man I know is my Mr Right. I fleetingly wonder if the snow this year was a very special gift, reassuring me that Mum is watching over us and that she approves of my choice.
I look up into Nic’s loving gaze, content in the knowledge that this is what my life is all about now. Home is where the heart is and mine is here.
‘And I love you too, Nic. We’ll take this one day at a time and when eventually we look back I know that this will be the start of our forever.’
We hope you enjoyed this book.
Lucy Coleman’s next book is coming in 2019
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