Further Reading
The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker
I’ve been raving about this book to anyone who will listen since it was first published in 2018. It is absolutely worth your time, especially if you care about having better, more meaningful hangouts with your people.
There Is No Good Card for This: What To Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love by Kelsey Crowe, PhD, and Emily McDowell
I love this book, which offers a thoughtful, practical, and relatable foundation for showing up for other people in bad times.
The Friendship Fix: The Complete Guide to Choosing, Losing, and Keeping Up with Your Friends by Andrea Bonior, PhD
Dr. Andrea Bonior is a therapist and writer who always gives realistic, thoughtful, and genuinely useful advice. This book is all about complicated friendship dynamics, and it takes a deeper look into some of the topics I’ve touched on in this book.
Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson
This book is a great read for anyone who wants to dive deeper into making and keeping friends; it includes a lot of frameworks and tips that I’ve personally found helpful.
Unf*ck Your Habitat by Rachel Hoffman
If you are living on your own for the first time and/or tend to struggle to care of your space, this book—and the blog of the same name—is for you. Hoffman covers the basics and offers practical tips (some of which you might remember from Chapter 3 and Chapter 5) in a truly kind, non-judgmental way.
We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter by Celeste Headlee
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in making the most of their conversations with friends, or who is worried about not being the best conversationalist.
Captain Awkward blog, written by Jennifer Peepas
The Captain gives truly excellent advice on pretty much everything, including Showing Up–adjacent topics like dealing with difficult family members, supporting a friend who is depressed, and advocating for yourself when someone is making you uncomfortable. Jennifer is so thoughtful and smart, and reading her blog for years has made me a better person.
“The Missing Stair” by Cliff Pervocracy
This essay, which I first discovered via Captain Awkward, offers a highly useful metaphor for a common social group dynamic, and is really helpful if you’re dealing with a jerk (or an abusive person) in a group setting.
pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/06/missing-stair.html
Ask a Manager blog, written by Alison Green
Yes, this is a workplace blog, but our workplaces are home to many important relationships (that are complicated by things like money, ego, office politics, power imbalances, and the need to keep it professional) and present a lot of opportunities to show up. Alison writes with so much empathy and humor, and her blog has made me so much more confident in dealing with tricky situations.
Recipe: Deb Perelman’s Quick Pasta and Chickpeas
This recipe is my go-to weeknight recipe; it’s filling, nourishing, vaguely healthy, very inexpensive, and extremely delicious. (It’s also meat-free and dairy-free and warms up well the next day.) I’ve sung its praises to many, many people, and they are all believers now.
smittenkitchen.com/2017/10/quick-pasta-and-chickpeas-pasta-e-ceci
Recipe: Sue Kreitzman’s Lemon Butter Angel Hair Pasta
As I mentioned in Chapter 5, this recipe is one I turn to when I need to feed myself but am kind of struggling. (I also make it when I’m not struggling—I just like it a lot!) Though literally nothing about it is French, I sort of think of it as the “French girl” version of boxed mac and cheese. It comes together in less than twenty minutes, tastes great, and feels elevated and special.
food52.com/recipes/75234-sue-kreitzman-s-lemon-butter-angel-hair-pasta